Lobelia's Not-So-Pleasant Harvestmath Party

by Aria Breuer

All Lobelia Sackville-Baggins wanted was to own Bag End. So, what is pesky Bilbo Baggins doing with this Balin the Dwarf, who intends to have a few drinks of apple cider? It honestly wasn't anything she expected. No, not ever! Rated T for drinking. Halloween Fanfic, 2018.

Disclaimers: I do not own The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. J.R.R. Tolkien does.

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Another fanfic for Halloween, 2018. Enjoy! :)

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Two years passed since the events at Erebor. Bilbo couldn't wait to celebrate Harvestmath! The very notion of inviting so many hobbits to his upcoming party was to be expected, but he wanted to make this celebration noteworthy.

In fact, it was so noteworthy that he invited the Sackville-Bagginses, just to clear their heads of the fog and storm that was about to pass their way.

"Say, what's this you got here?" Lobelia asked, bluntly. She was in one of her nasty moods. "Says here you're inviting dwarves to your Harvestmath party! When do my husband and I get Bag End?"

"That's out of the question," Bilbo said, gesturing to the elderly dwarf heading his way. "Balin, so pleased to see you!"

"Right then. Lass, what's eating you? Did you catch a squirrel?" Balin smirked, loving this game of cat and mouse. "Now, show me the way to Bag End and we can all go home."

"Yes, let's go get Bag End!" Lobelia said, not feeling right about this.

"Ah! Balin, if you'll come this way. We can begin the festivities!" Bilbo said, passing to Balin some alcoholic apple cider.

"Thank you, lad," Balin said, promptly. "I intend to get very drunk and, by no means, unsettled. Lobelia, if you will join me." He said, drinking his fill of the alcoholic beverage.

"What's this? I didn't invite you!" Lobelia complained.

"Just do as he says," Bilbo said, watching Balin sweep Lobelia off her feet, as he drank his second jug of alcoholic apple cider.

By the fifth round, Balin burped in Lobelia's face, causing her great distress. He smiled, finding her the most attractive hobbit around.

"I'm married, you dimwitted dwarf!" Lobelia whacked Balin hard with her coin purse, leaving Bilbo's party before another word was said.

Bilbo was so pleased with Balin! There was no question about it.

"Yes, and I intend to get drunker still before the night is out," Balin said, chugging down another round of alcoholic apple cider, before retiring, thankfully, into one of the guest rooms at Bag End.

Job well done, if Bilbo said to himself. A job well done indeed.

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Thanks for reading. :)