A/N: Hey, everyone! This is a sequal to "Self Worth," however it is not majorly important to read that to understand this. :) Again, trying out a "new" style. Haha, I'm reading A Tale of Two Cities in Intro to Lit class, and this is my spin on that style(?). And this is my - what? - second attempt at a story in present tense. Please tell me what you think!
Yeye means grandpa, and zufu means grandfather. Also, I know I messed up the "It is better to feel love and pain than to not feel at all," but it works a lot better this way. XD And the ending is based off of 1 Corinthians 13 (Bible, New Testament). I'm a strong Christian, and not trying to shove anything done anyone's throat (so please don't complain that I am), but I thought it gave it a strong ending. :)
Okay, now please read and tell me what you think!
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN KFP. D:
This is Love
"Po," She says as she reaches out to touch his arm to stop him from leaving. "I need to speak with you."
He rubs his eyes as he is still tired since he only woke up moments ago. He looks ahead and sees the other Furious Five members leave the hallway and follow Master Shifu. He looks back at her and gives a soft smile, "Sure. Is everything okay?"
She nods quickly, but after a moment, she realizes that everything was really the opposite. She sighes and says, "No, not really."
He looks concerned then. He puts a hand on her shoulder as he leans in closer to her. "What's wrong?"
And for a moment, she wishes things could say this way. But she knows it cannot - at least, it cannot be any longer. What am I thinking? She says to herself as she looks him in the eye.
Her mind begins to yell at her. It tells her that she is stupid to think that there is even a possibility that he loves her back. It screams that she should not go through with this confession, that she should forget it; it yells at her to think clearly, something she is no longer capabale of doing. And for a moment, she almost listens to her mind. She hesitates, then takes a step away from his grasp. His hand falls to his side, and he looks confused, and even slightly hurt. She can feel the word nevermind on her tongue, and she opens her mouth to release it.
When suddenly her heart interjects. Instead of her mind, which yelled with rage, the heart whispers - so faintly, she can hardly hear it. It whispers that love is worth any risk. It tells her she is brave and confident; she can do anything. Her heart then whispers the words she faintly remembers; love is a wonderful feeling, child. It gives you hope to wake up in the morning, whether or not life is good. It gives meaning to each day and makes you smile, even if there is more reason to cry.
She feels it in the back of her mind, as if it is Oogway whispering to her, as if he is a spector floating behind her ear. This time, she opens her mouth to tell him the truth of her love. Suddenly, her mind speaks up again. She closes her mouth again as she begins to listen to the mind's demeaning message. Again, she takes a step back away from him. Just as she was about to turn and run away, she remembers a fond memory.
In this memory, she sits with Oogway beside the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom. She rests in his arms, and he holds her close, stroking the back of her head as she cries gently. She does not remember why she is crying, she just knows she is sad. Oogway leans down and speaks softly in her ear, "One day, child, you will feel love."
"What does it feel like, Master?" She asks, for she had never felt love. To her, love is only in stories - she has never felt it first hand. It is like never feeling the heat of a fire, only hearing that it can burn; or, the telling of salt in the ocean, but never tasting it yourself. She knows love is out there, she just has not felt it.
"It is a wonderful feeling child," He answers. "It gives you hope to wake up in the morning, whether or not life is good. It gives meaning to each day and makes you smile, even if there is more reason to cry."
Before then, she had never heard it as that. She knew it was a good feeling - she never knew that it could be felt during bad times. And for a moment, in Oogway's embrace, she wonders if this is what love feels like. In his arms, she thinks of him as a grandfather, her zǔfù, her yéye, and she feels a glimmer of warmth expand within her.
"I want to feel like that, Master," She says. She can feel the word yéye on her lips, but swallows it down, and taking its place is the phrase, I want to feel like this. In his fatherly embrace, she feels love.
But still, the memory goes on. Oogway says, "You will, child. Just promise me that you will not be afraid to try and feel it? Let it happen."
She promises then, and she realizes that that was the purpose of the memory. She is back in the present now, and Po is still staring at her, waiting for her to say something. But she does not know what to say; the memory confuses her more than it helps her.
Is what she feels really love?
But then she realizes what love is. No matter what he says, she will still love him. He will still be the reason she wants to live, the reason she wakes up in the morning. He will be her light when things go dark - he will be her reason. She takes a deep breath, then finally respondes, "Po, I am confused. I feel something for you that I have never felt before."
But that was a lie. She had felt it before, once, with her yéye. He blinks at her, waiting for her to continue. She takes his hand, and then almost drops it. She feels her heart giving the extra push, and she continues on, "I am not sure, but I think I love you."
He blinks, completely confused. But she ignores this and keeps on speaking, "I realize now that that is what love is: even though you may not love me back, I know that you will still be the reason I go on. You are my hope, my strength, my light. You're my reason to live."
He doesn't respond. Instead, he looks down at his feet. She can feel her heart break within her - was she really that stupid? What made her think that he felt the same way back? Why did she even tell him?
It is because that is what love does to you. She accepts that he does not feel the same. She drops his hand and turns to leave.
"Wait, Tigress!" He calls out to her, but she ignores it. She knows that, being the good guy that he is, he will try and make her feel better. She does not care to hear. Instead, she suddenly breaks out into a run.
She goes to the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom, and suddenly she feels her emotions like a brick. She falls to her knees as realiztion hits her. She loves him, and he does not love her back. She feels tears beginning to prick her eyes, but she forces them back. Her throat begins to burn as she looks up at the heavens.
"Are you happy?" She yells to Oogway, hoping he can hear. She is angry, and the only one she can blame is him. Was it not him who was in her memory, who made her want to tell Po in the first place? "Now I am hurting!" She yells again, and this time the tears falling down her face. She stays on her knees, face towards the sky, tears falling down her face.
It is better to feel love and to hurt than to never feel at all. It comes from no where, but she knows it is Oogway again. She resists the urge to yell, but insteads lets the words sink it, although she still does not understand. How could it ever be better to be in pain than to be numb?
And then it clicks: wasn't it better to feel emotions than to feel numb? She looks down at her palms; years previous, she damaged the nerves in her palms, now she feels nothing. Numbness. Then, she thought it would make her invincible. But instead, even know she felt nothing, she seems to feel what she lacks. She cannot feel warmth or cold, she cannot feel softness. She cannot feel a hand in her own.
She blinks back tears again as her palm serves a reminder. Perhaps Oogway was right; it was better to feel because you can than to not and wonder what it's like.
She remembers the promise she made him so long ago; she promised to not be afraid and to feel love - and she tried. But then she realizes that she has yet to feel someone love her.
"I have loved," She yells to the sky again. "But no one has loved me! When will someone love me?"
But she hears no answer. Instead, she hears silence. She is angered again, but as time moves on, she lets it go. Hours have now passed since she first arrived, and when she is sure she can control her emotions, she walks to the Training Hall. She secretly wonders how she's going to get through the day. And like a whisper from her heart, she hears the steady words, like the beating of a drum; Love is patient, love is kind. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
And just like that, it clicks with her. She realizes that love is not easy - in fact, is is hard; harder than any emotion ever felt and every action ever done. But it is always worth it. She will wait, she decides. For she knows that love is not just a feeling, but an action. She feels, but now she must act.
And, although there will be days where she does not want to wake, she will because that is what love does to you.
