Just as a heads up:
This story differs a bit from my other stories in that it has a lot of explicit sex jokes. I do make sex jokes in my other stories, but this one is on a higher level. Mind you, it isn't anything on the level of a pornographic story, but I think it's still worth mentioning because there are some moments that can cause embarrassment, so reader discretion is advised.
Also, it's heavily based on the episode "Nothing to Room", from the show "Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt" (which technically tells what to expect from the highs and lows of this thing). I tried to make it not too alike to the episode, but…
I failed. Kinda miserably.
Oh, well…
Disclaimer: Fire Emblem and all its characters are an intellectual property of Nintendo. I own absolutely nothing. Also, the thematic and concepts of this story were taken from Panty and Stocking, so they're NOT my original ideas.
Talk of the Day
Calling that day monotone wouldn't make it justice. No, no, no… That day was much, much, MUCH more than just monotone.
It was outright boring.
"Urgh…" Aversa grumbled irritated for the fourth time in less than ten minutes, her finger impatiently pressing the button on the remote control and changing the channel every two seconds, not really looking for anything to watch, but just to have something to do.
At her side on the couch, Robin sat quietly with her legs crossed, eyes focused on the screen of her Nintendo Switch, apparently unaware of her surroundings.
"Urgh…" Aversa grumbled again, moving a bit from her original spot and still surfing through the channels.
"Tell me," Robin suddenly said, eyes still focused on her videogame. "How was it with the guy yesterday?"
"Which guy?" Aversa asked with her usual nonchalant tone.
"You know, the guy from the party yesterday," Robin specified.
"Which one?"
"Huh? How many guys did you meet yesterday?" the girl paused her game to give her sister a confused look.
"Just enough."
"And how many are enough?"
"Do you want to know that or how it was with the guy you asked?"
"What do you mean?"
"If you want to know something, you must concentrate on that, instead of letting your little mind wander around to lands far beyond your objective," Aversa giggled mockingly.
"Said the one who needed to copy my notes for Strategic Combat…" Robin rolled her eyes and resumed her game. "Back to the subject, I was referring to that guy with blonde hair, big muscles and a huge bulge in his pants."
"Ah, that guy?" the older girl grumbled annoyed. "It was trash. Totally not worth my time."
"Really? You seemed interested on him when we arrived at the party."
"Appearances can fool and that was surely a case of that. Tsk! In the end, he was just a huge pussy!" Aversa hissed.
"Wow… Savage," Robin smiled mockingly.
"At least the other guys were MUCH better," Aversa laughed maliciously, then looked at her younger sister. "What about you? Did you find anyone interesting?"
"Not really. I wasn't even looking for guys, to say the truth."
"Oh… Have you changed your tastes, then?" Aversa giggled teasingly.
"Even if I had, that wouldn't be any of your business," Robin answered a bit rudely. "Besides, I didn't really find anyone that was my type."
"You shouldn't be such a picky girl, Robin."
"I didn't understand that statement. Please, elaborate."
"Tell me, what exactly is *your* type of guy?" Aversa put the remote control aside and rested her head on her hand.
"Huh…" Robin paused her game and stared thoughtful at the ceiling. "Not totally sure. Why?"
"So, how can you say you didn't find anyone that was your type if you don't know what kind of guy your type is?"
"I'll probably know the guy is my type when I see him," the girl resumed her game. "Isn't it like some people say? Just go with the flow?"
"Oh… So that little boy from the class next to yours must be your type, correct?" Aversa joked. "After all, you two did… get along, didn't you?"
Robin paused her game, put the console aside and glared at Aversa.
"It wasn't anything serious, okay? It was just like you and one of those boys you meet at the parties. Besides, we just went out together. We didn't have sex or anything of the kind!"
"But he didn't seem to think like that, did he?" the older girl smiled mischievously.
"Ricken… took things a bit more seriously than I expected," Robin sighed. "I mean, he's a nice boy and all, and I do like him, but… Really? Dating? Marrying? Having children? He's skipping quite a good amount of details! Talking about that…"
Robin turned her face to the other side and yelled:
"HEY! FATHER! ARE YOU FINISHED ALREADY?! WE'RE STARVING HERE!"
"YEAH! WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR HOURS NOW!" Aversa shouted. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?!"
"YOU TWO SHUT UP AND WAIT! I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU AND I WON'T ACCEPT THAT UNGRATEFULNESS!" Validar's voice echoed through the house.
Both girls sighed irritated and shook their heads.
"Shit… For how much longer he is planning to make us wait?" Aversa complained.
"By the way, why did he decide to make such a 'special meal' again?" Robin looked at her sister and raised an eyebrow.
"Some crap related to Grima or whatever else. I wasn't paying attention," the older girl shook a hand dismissively.
"Tsk!" Robin hissed and grabbed her Nintendo Switch. "Before I forget, you still haven't explained what you meant when you said that I shouldn't be so picky."
"You know, little sister, many girls would kill to be in our places," Aversa began explaining. "We're members of one of Plegia's richest families. Beautiful, intelligent and desired by all. We have dozens and dozens of admirers falling on their knees for us and you seem to be wasting that."
"Elaborate, please."
"You should enjoy that. Since there are so many stupid boys falling for you, then why not have some fun with them?"
"Like I already said, I haven't found anyone that's my type."
"But you don't seem to know what your type is," Aversa grabbed the remote control and began changing channels again.
"I'll know when I see him," Robin said, eyes still focused on the screen. "And I'm not in a hurry to find, so…"
Silence filled the room for a few seconds before Aversa suddenly asked:
"Before I forget, how was it in the meeting with the Ylissean royal family?"
"Why do you ask?" Robin half asked, half grumbled due to a tricky boss she was facing.
"Because I worry about the good relationship with our precious neighbors," the older girl giggled.
"You're usually better at lying than that…"
"Only when needed, little sister. Only when needed."
"Sure… Answering your question, it wasn't anything special. We met them, Emmeryn was happy and radiant as always, father was in a bad mood for having to meet with the Ylisseans as always, Lissa was irritatingly adorable as always and Chrom…"
Robin stopped for a few moments and raised an eyebrow.
"Weird… For some reason, I don't recall seeing Chrom in the meeting."
"So, he was unimportant to you as always," Aversa evilly giggled.
"I don't think he's unimportant. I just don't get why the girls think he's such a lady killer."
Not even two seconds after the girl finished her sentence, Robin's game announced she lost.
"Ah, motherfucker! I got distracted and died to that stupid son of a bitch again!"
"Are you still trying to play that game?" Aversa asked, looking at the screen saying 'Game Over' in red letters. "Didn't you say it was just a stupid thing to induce rage?"
"And it is. I still picked it again, though," Robin puffed her cheeks and restarted from her last save point.
Aversa mockingly shook her head and returned to her task of changing channels mindlessly.
*Fire Emblem main theme starts playing*
"It isn't my phone," Aversa announced without taking her eyes from the television.
"It's mine," Robin paused the game, took her cell phone from the right pocket of her coat, looked at the screen and sighed loudly. "Ah, you've gotta be kiddin' me!"
"Oooh… I wonder who it could be…" Aversa laughed lowly as Robin put her phone on her ear.
"Hi, Virion…" the younger girl grumbled. "No, I'm not tired… Yes, I'm very busy right now. I'm doing lots and lots of important stuff and can't go out with you."
"It's a lie. Don't believe anything she says."
"Shut up, Aversa," Robin whispered then resumed the conversation. "No, I can't delay anything, or my father will peel my skin off. It's some very important shit. No time to waste."
…
"No, there's nobody here."
"So, you don't think I'm anyone, little sis?" Aversa asked, pretending to be offended.
"Of course you are. You're an annoying bitch…" Robin grumbled, making her sister giggle. "So, please, call me some other time, preferably next month."
…
"No. Fuck you."
Robin finished the call and sighed irritated.
"What do I have to do to make that stupid guy understand I don't give a damn about him?!"
"Have you already tried a Ruin tome?" Aversa asked.
"Yes."
"And Nosferatu?"
"That one too."
"And Goetia?"
…
"That's actually a pretty good idea," Robin raised an eyebrow and rubbed her chin.
*Fire Emblem main theme starts playing*
"Again?!" Robin picked her phone irritated and looked at the screen.
"Virion?" Aversa asked.
"No, it's even worse..." the younger girl sighed as she put the phone on her ear. "Hi, Tharja. What's up?"
…
"To say the truth, I'm incredibly busy right now. Like, super busy. Ridiculously busy."
"Liiiiiaaaaaaaaar…" Aversa chanted, to which Robin answered showing her middle finger.
"So, it may be better if you call me again some other time."
…
"What? Lying to you? What makes you think that?"
…
"Aversa and I are sitting on the couch doing nothing?" Robin raised an eyebrow. "Where did you get that…"
"Robin," Aversa poked her younger sister's shoulder and pointed at the window behind them.
"Huh? Wha… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Much to the younger girl's horror, the person on the other side of the phone was standing just outside the window, looking at her with a rather somber expression.
"Holy mother of Naga!" Robin fell from the couch and began crawling backwards, trying to get away from the figure standing outside the house.
"Calm down, girl. There's a thick glass separating us from her," Aversa said.
"When did you get here?!" Robin asked pointing a finger at Tharja, who put her phone in her pocket and walked away from the girl's sight.
"Where is she going?" Aversa asked.
"I don't know, but it better be far away from me!" Robin yapped.
Not more than ten seconds later, the doorbell began ringing.
"Oh, shit…" Robin cursed.
The doorbell rang again.
"HEY! THERE IS SOMEONE AT THE DOOR! ONE OF YOU TWO GO ANSWER IT!" Validar yelled form the kitchen.
"NO! FUCK IT! I'M NOT OPENING THAT DOOR!" Robin yelled back.
"I'll go," Aversa got up from the couch and headed to the door.
"What?! Which side are you at?!" the younger girl shouted angrily.
"At the side which won't make dad come bother me more than he already does."
As her sister disappeared from her sight, Robin considered running to the bathroom and locking the door until Tharja left, but…
"Hello, Robin."
"Ah… shit. Too late…"
Knowing she was defeated, Robin got up and grumbled all the way back to her spot on the couch, only making eye contact with her not so secret admirer once she sat on her delicate rear.
"Very busy, huh? I can see it," Tharja said sarcastically.
"What? I didn't lie to you. I'm very busy right now!" Robin argued back.
"Doing nothing?"
"Mind you, I'm waiting for father to finish cooking. He's putting a lot of effort into it and I would be the worst daughter in the world if I just left before he finished."
"Even though we still don't know what he's cooking or why," Aversa said as she walked in the room and returned to her spot on the couch.
"Oh, I see… You're such a considerate girl, Robin," Tharja said teasingly. "I surely don't want you to disappoint your dad."
"Good to know you understand," the white-haired girl grabbed her videogame and continued from where she stopped.
"For that reason, I'll wait here with you."
"Good to… WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!"
Robin's shock distracted her enough to cause another game over.
"Ah, fuck me!" the girl shouted at the screen.
"Oh… Can I?" Tharja asked seductively.
"You stay away from me, you psychotic pervert."
"Can you two shut up? I'm trying to watch TV here," Aversa grumbled.
"Watch TV? You're just mindlessly changing channels," the girl's sister countered.
"Isn't that what watching TV is basically about?"
"No. I mean, yes. I mean… maybe?" Robin shook her head irritated and turned to Tharja. "It doesn't matter! What did you say about waiting here?!"
"I wanted to go out with you, but since you have to wait for your dad to finish whatever he's doing, I decided to stay here," the black-haired girl answered.
"You don't need to."
"Oh, and do you think that will stop me?"
"It SHOULD," Robin grumbled.
"But it WON'T," Tharja smiled evilly as she made her way to the couch and sat between the two girls, although closer to the younger one.
Irritated, Robin returned to her game and tried very hard to ignore the presence looming on her side. Emphasis on 'tried', as ignoring Tharja was something that existed on the 'very hard' country, practically crossing the line with 'impossible'.
"Ugh… Why does father pay for this if there're no good channels?" Aversa complained, turning the TV off and throwing the remote control to the side.
"Because he's the big dog of Grima's cult. He's swimming in money, so he spends it however he wants, even if it's a crappy thing," Robin half-joked, half-criticized. "Just look at all the porcelain shit he and mom bought."
"Talking about swimming, I haven't seen you in swimming class lately, Robin," Tharja said leaning closer to the girl. "Why haven't you been attending class? I miss you, don't you know?"
"You aren't attending swimming classes anymore?" Aversa looked at her sister, raising an eyebrow.
"I convinced father I don't need it anymore since I already know how to swim and I could have financial education instead," Robin explained without looking away from her game. "I don't like it very much, but at least I don't run the risk of being fucking molested."
"You can't be talking about me, can you?" Tharja said with an innocent tone that Robin knew was false.
"Of course I am. You always had a famished look on your face whenever we met at swimming class and it wasn't hunger," Robin paused her game and glared at the girl at her side. "And don't even dare to say the time you bumped into me in the shower was an accident, because I know it wasn't!"
"Oooh… Did things get steamy that day?" Aversa giggled.
"Shut up," Robin growled.
"Which reminds me…" Aversa turned to Robin and smiled mischievously. "Didn't something happen with you two during that trip to the hot springs?"
"Oh, that day…" Tharja blushed a bit. "I'll always treasure the memory of that day…"
"Mistakes were made that day. Let's not talk about it," Robin quickly said.
"Why not? It's such a wonderful memory of us," Tharja said seductively.
"You remember we weren't the only ones there, don't you?"
The black-haired girl hissed.
"That's one of the only things I hate about that day…"
"Oh, yeah. Sumia, Cordelia and Olivia were there too," Aversa remembered. "That makes things even more interesting…"
"We were under the effect of alcohol. Absolutely nothing was done on purpose. At least, I hope so…" Robin scratched the back of her head.
"You and Tharja drinking doesn't surprise me too much. Sumia, Cordelia and Olivia on other hand…"
"Sumia and Olivia weren't too hard to convince. The same can't be said about Cordelia," Robin sighed. "She kept talking about how we shouldn't drink, that it wasn't the place to do it, the kind of problem we could get into… Seriously, I get what she meant, but sometimes she's so much of an ass."
"Makes sense. Didn't you say she has a nice ass?" Aversa joked.
"And she does have a nice ass. Small boobs, but a nice ass."
"Why care about someone who only has ass if I have everything?" Tharja asked Robin teasingly.
"I already told you to stay away from me," the white-haired girl leaned away.
"Don't be like that… You were clearly enjoying our time together that day…"
"But not as much as Olivia, right?" Robin smiled evilly.
Tharja's smile disappeared and gave place to a somber expression as she remembered what transpired later that day.
*DING DONG*
"The doorbell again?" Aversa asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh! Maybe it's my delivery!" Robin got up from the couch.
"Delivery? What did you order?"
"A collector's edition of Octopath Traveler!"
"Sincerely, little sister… You should stop wasting money with games." Aversa mockingly scolded.
"At least I'm not wasting money with CONDOMS!" Robin shot back as she ran to answer the door.
It didn't take more than ten seconds for the girl to return with an annoyed expression, sit on the couch, cross her arms and huff loudly.
"It wasn't your order," Aversa deduced. "Then, what was it?"
"Hey! I'm coming in! Don't mind if I do!" a cheery voice announced from somewhere outside the girls' line of sight.
"Oh, no…" Aversa and Tharja grumbled in unison.
Just a bit after announcing his arrival, the owner of the voice, a boy with a large smile, white hair like Robin and Aversa and an overly casual posture appeared before them. He adjusted his coat and waved his hand to the three girls sitting on the couch.
"Hey, what's up?" he asked.
"Henry, what are you doing here?" Aversa asked nonchalant.
"I came for the party!" the boy answered.
"Party? Which party?" Tharja asked.
"I don't know. Validar didn't tell me all the details."
"Are you saying my dad is who called you here?" Aversa grumbled.
"Yup. Not sure of why, but maybe because I was chosen as the best student of the academy."
"You mean the best guinea pig of the academy, no?" Robin asked with a sarcastic smile.
"Who knows? I personally don't care about the reason. I'm still getting free food, so it's fine anyways! Nya ha ha!"
Unaware of how his presence annoyed the girls (or maybe just ignoring it), Henry made his way to the couch and squeezed himself between Tharja and Robin.
"Hey! What are you doing?" Tharja hissed at the boy.
"I'm joining you guys!" Henry innocently answered.
"Sit on the other side! You're getting between me and Robin!"
"I can't. If I sit close to Aversa, she may push me out of the couch."
"He's smart. I can give him that," the aforementioned girl admitted.
"Then sit on the floor!" Tharja growled, her expression darkening in anger.
"No, no, no, no, nooooo… You can stay right there, Henry. That's the perfect spot for you to sit," Robin said.
"If Robin says I should stay here, I'll stay here," the boy smiled widely. "She's the daughter of my boss and I always obey the daughters of my boss, because I'm a good boy! Nya ha ha!"
Tharja lowly groaned in anger and began squeezing one of her sleeves, pretending it was Henry's neck.
"Sooooo… What do we do now?" the boy suddenly asked.
"We have to wait father finish whatever he's doing in the kitchen," Robin told. "Which may take another FOUR HOURS IF WE CONSIDER HOW MUCH WE HAVE WAITED ALREADY!"
"STOP COMPLAINING, YOU LITTLE PEST!" Validar shouted.
"THEN FINISH IT ALREADY!"
"OR AT LEAST BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE APPEARS!" Aversa added.
"THIS MEAL NEEDS CARE AND ATTENTION TO DETAILS, SO YOU TWO BETTER SHUT UP!"
Robin and Aversa sighed, shook their heads and said:
"Fuck this…"
The short argument between Validar and his daughters gave place to total silence. Robin and Aversa both had their arms crossed and annoyed expressions on their faces, Tharja was still squeezing her sleeve and Henry kept smiling just for the sake of it, waiting for the so said 'party' to start.
"Hey, since we're all here, why don't we play Mario Kart?" the boy suddenly asked.
"We can't," Aversa answered while checking her nails.
"Why not? Nobody's using the TV," Henry pointed out.
Aversa quickly stretched her arm, grabbed the remote control she threw aside and turned the TV on.
"You were saying?" she smirked.
"Aww… Come on, Aversa! Don't be selfish!" Henry complained. "We'll have to wait for Validar to finish anyways and there's nothing better to spend time with friends than playing Mario Kart!"
"Playing Mario Kart with your friends is only good if you don't want to be their friend anymore," Robin mocked.
"No, no… That's Mario Party," Henry corrected.
Robin opened her mouth ready to counterargument, but after giving the boy's sentence some thought, she noticed he was right and gave up on the idea.
"I don't want to play Mario Kart," Tharja protested. "I want to spend time with Robin. ALONE."
"Hey! Instead of Mario Kart, we could play Super Smash Bros!" Henry suggested. "We could even search for some friends online!"
"Henry, Ultimate hasn't been released yet and I'm definitely NOT setting the Wii U up again," Robin told.
"But you usually get the games before release, no?" the boy tilted his head.
"I make pre-orders or have early access, that's true, but the game is still being developed," Robin yawned. "Besides, even if I already had the game, we wouldn't be able to 'search for friends online', because I don't have the online service."
"No? Why not?"
"Because she's antisocial," Aversa joked.
"Because it's twenty dollars per year for nothing," Robin grumbled.
"It isn't for nothing," Henry argued. "You get some NES games, you can play online, you have cloud saves… For twenty dollars, I think it's cheap enough."
"Yeah, it's cheap enough… Because it's a CHEAP SERVICE," the younger white-haired girl shot back.
"You two get along sooo well… Maybe he's your type of guy, Robin," Aversa giggled evilly.
"DON'T YOU EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT," Tharja glared furiously at Aversa. "SHE'S MINE AND NOBODY ELSE'S."
"I'm not," Robin pouted.
"We do get along well, but we're just friends," Henry said casually.
"Oh, really?" Aversa pretended to be surprised. "How can you not want to be anything more than just a friend to my little sister, Henry? This could be your chance to score a well-endowed girl for yourself. Big boobs feel good, y'know?"
"Big boobs aren't everything," the boy said with unexpected calm. "There's a lot more to a relationship than just appearance."
"Not if you just want to have sex, like a certain someone I know," Robin smirked.
"There's a lot more to sex than just orgasming and kinky stuff, too," Henry said with an air of wisdom. "When you have sex, you're exposing yourself to someone else and that someone else is also willingly exposing themselves to you. It's an extremely intimate act to share pleasures, fears, embarrassments and feelings. It's kind of poetic. Like dying!"
"Yeah, yeah… Like a virgin could have a word on the matter," Aversa mocked.
"Oh, but I'm not a virgin."
"Sure…"
…
"Well, at least, not anymore."
Aversa, Tharja and Robin widened their eyes and looked shocked at the boy smiling innocently, apparently unaware of the real effect of his words.
*Sound of crow cawing*
"I wonder who it is," Henry commented, taking his phone from the pocket of his coat and looking at the screen. "Oh, cool! A new supply of Ruin tomes arrived!"
"What did you mean?!" Robin asked baffled.
"The store I always buy tomes from ran out of Ruin tomes, so I asked them to text me when…"
"No, you dumbass! I don't care about your tomes! I'm talking about not being a virgin anymore! What did you mean with that?!"
"Oh, that? Well…" Henry began writing a message in his phone. "I can't give too many details, so let's just say I got giggidy with someone, if you know what I mean."
"With who?" Aversa inquired.
"Secret."
"You know saying that will make us even more dubious of the veracity of your statement, don't you?" Robin crossed her arms.
"Yup, but I don't really care," Henry giggled.
"It can't be…" Tharja's face darkened as she looked down, mouth twisting in frustration. "That little weirdo already did IT and the closest I got to that was getting drunk with Robin in a hot spring?!"
"But you aren't a virgin anymore as well, right? I mean, there was Olivia…" Aversa smiled evilly.
"Don't remind me of that," Tharja growled. "And no, Olivia doesn't count. I kicked her out of my room before anything happened."
"Changing the subject, why is the identity of your girl so secretive, Henry?" the older white-haired girl asked.
"S. E. C. R. E. T. SECRET, SECRET, SECRET," Henry happily sang.
"Oh, is that how you wanna play?" Aversa grinned sinisterly. "Because I know one or two spells that will make you open your mouth."
"Oh! Torture? It's been a while since someone tried to do it on me! Come on, let's get started!"
"Hold on just a second," Robin interrupted, looking suspiciously at Henry.
Carefully, she stretched her hand towards the boy's collar and pulled something from it. After analyzing the thing for a few seconds, Robin grinned widely and showed her discovery to the other girls.
"What is that?" Aversa asked.
"It's hair," Tharja answered.
"Yes, it's hair. And you know what? I would recognize this tone of blond anywhere," Robin threw the hair away and smiled mischievously at Henry. "It's Maribelle, isn't it?"
…
"No."
"You took too long to answer. It's definitely Maribelle," Robin giggled victoriously.
"Aww… man. You figured it out!" Henry said with a slight tone of disappointment in his voice, but still smiling.
"And you gave up way too easily," Tharja commented.
"That hair could belong to anyone with the same hair color, so how did you discover?" the boy asked genuinely curious.
"Indeed, it could. Which is why I must thank Maribelle for not being very good at hiding that something was happening behind the scenes," Robin said.
"Huh?" Henry, Tharja and Aversa said at the same time.
"I noticed she's been a lot more… radiant than usual this last month," Robin laughed. "She's been arriving at the academy with a large smile in her face on a daily basis, has been reading lots of romance books instead of studying the laws and her annoyance dropped to acceptable levels."
"She isn't annoying. She's just strict," Henry defended.
"I don't believe it," Tharja said. "Someone wanting to have sex with Maribelle or Henry is already unbelievable enough, but Maribelle having sex with Henry? That's impossible."
"I thought you wouldn't believe," the boy said surprisingly unfazed.
"And how did it happen?" Aversa asked in malicious curiosity.
"The only way to make anyone want to have sex with Henry is cursing that person. Badly," the black-haired girl mocked.
"Nope. I didn't do anything. In fact, it was her who started," Henry told.
"Of course…" Tharja rolled her eyes unconvinced. "Then, why don't you tell us how big, bad Maribelle sexually abused you?"
"I'm not very sure myself," the boy said casually. "In one moment, Maribelle was in my room scolding me for being reckless and making me promise I would be more careful. Then, before I knew it, she was on top of me biting my neck and trying to take my shirt off."
"Oh… The little lady of justice has an evil side…" Aversa giggled evilly.
"And considering she's been happier than usual for this last month, you two have been doing it for a while now, right?" Robin smirked.
"S. E. C. R. E. T. SECRET, SECRET, SECRET," Henry happily chanted again.
"You don't need to tell me, just don't stop fucking each other," Robin continued smirking. "Maribelle has been a lot less annoying lately and I definitely don't want this to change."
"She isn't annoying. She's just…"
"Strict. Yeah, yeah… Whatever floats your boat and gives you an erection… I don't give a shit."
The extremely pleasant conversation about 'doing the act' between the four teenagers would have continued for a bit longer, if not for the doorbell loudly interrupting them.
"The doorbell again?" Aversa commented.
"I don't want to get up now," Robin complained. "Henry, go answer the door."
"Okeydokey!" the boy jumped from the couch and ran to the door.
"Now that the pest is gone…" Tharja quickly moved closer to Robin. "There's nothing in our way anymore."
"Shit… I forgot Henry was blocking you…" the white-haired girl sighed.
Unfortunately for Tharja (and fortunately for Robin), they didn't have much time alone as Henry quickly returned with a package in his hands.
"Hey, Robin! This package arrived for you!"
"Oh, yes! My game!" the girl celebrated. "Finally, a good moment in this fucking day!"
"And look who is here! Gangrel!" the boy happily announced pointing to the red-haired man who suddenly appeared at his side.
"Aaaaand… it's ruined," Robin's expression went from happy to annoyed as she sloppily leaned on the couch.
"Good to see you too, girl," Gangrel smiled sarcastically.
"Oh, look… If it isn't Mongrel," Aversa joked. "Such a joy to see you again."
"The feelings are mutual, Aversa," the man retorted.
"What are you doing here?" Robin asked grumpily.
"Your father called me here for some reason."
"For Naga's sake… Who else has he invited? Walhart? Basilio? That fat dumbass who thinks he's so smart… What's his name again?"
"Excellus," Aversa told.
"Yeah, that guy."
"If it gives some satisfaction to your souls, I'm here against my will and would have preferred to spend the rest of the day in my house," Gangrel grumbled crossing his arms.
"Thank you for caring so much for us, but no, it doesn't give me any satisfaction at all," Robin forced a smile. "Now, give me my thing, Henry."
Henry obediently handed the package to Robin, who immediately tore the duct tape off and opened the box to check if everything was right with her order. After giving a quick look inside the box, Henry turned to sit back on his spot and noticed someone else had taken his place.
"Hey, I was sitting there."
"Exactly. You WERE. Now, I'm the one sitting here," Tharja smiled widely.
"But that was my place."
"Sit on the other side."
"I can't. Aversa may push me off the couch."
"Relax, Henry. This time, I'll let you sit at my side," Aversa informed. "If you sit here, at least I won't have to worry about Gangrel doing it."
"Like I would sit at YOUR side," the man sneered.
"Oh, if you say so…" Henry said a bit surprised and proceeded to sit at the older girl's side.
With the predicament of who sat where solved, the room became silent again, with only the occasional sound of Robin rummaging inside the box in her hands.
"Aaand… everything's fine!" the girl announced with a satisfied smile. "Alright, I'll leave the game here to play while I take the rest to my room."
Robin got up, took the game from the box, left it where she was sitting and ran to her room, happily humming all the way there. When the girl got out of sight, Henry stretched his hand towards the game left on the couch and grabbed it, curiously looking at the cover and the information written behind.
"Aw, come on!" Robin's annoyed voice echoed through the house and reached the room.
"Huh? What happened?" Henry looked at the direction the girl went.
Just as he finished his sentence, Robin came in sight loudly stomping her feet on the floor, a very irritated expression on her face.
"Aversa, I told you to stop leaving your panties on my bed!" the younger white-haired girl complained.
"Mine? Are you sure they aren't yours?" the older girl asked nonchalant.
"I know my underwear and it's definitely NOT mine!"
"And what's the problem if it's mine?"
"I don't leave my panties on your bed! It's gross!"
"Gross? Have you ever used a single panty more than once?"
"No! That's super unhygienic!" Robin's body shivered at the thought.
"Neither have I, so even if that's my panty on your bed, it's clean. No reason to be bitching about that," Aversa sighed annoyed.
"And what if I accidentally mistake it for one of my panties and end wearing it?!" the younger girl asked back.
"We use each other's bras all the time. What would be the problem?"
"Bras and panties aren't the same thing. Unless you use bras to cover your…"
"I was forced out of my house on a Saturday to listen two brats arguing about underwear?" Gangrel grumbled irritated.
"If the subject bothers you, feel free to leave. You aren't welcome anyways," Robin rudely said to the man while returning to the couch and grabbing the videogame she put aside.
"I WANT to leave, but I have to wait for Validar to appear."
"If that's the case, then shut up. Now, give me my game, Henry."
The boy obeyed and handed the game to Robin, who quickly opened the box, got the cartridge, inserted it in the console and began playing.
"Robin, why play a game when I'm right here?" Tharja asked slightly bothered.
"But that's why I'm playing a game," the girl shot back.
"Hey, can we play Mario Kart now?" Henry asked out of a sudden.
"I'm using the Switch to play something else, so of course we can't," Robin answered without taking her eyes off the screen.
"Aww… Don't be selfish like Aversa!" the boy complained.
"I can still kick you out of the couch," the older girl remembered.
"By the way, why are those two here?" Gangrel asked pointing at Tharja and Henry.
"Henry is here because father called him. Tharja is here because she's a freaking stalker," Robin answered.
"Validar called the boy here? For which reason?"
"We don't know," Aversa and Robin said in unison.
"Urgh… If you two weren't big enough of a hassle by yourselves, now I must deal with those other two as well… What a way to receive guests."
"Like you're the best host in the world, Mongrel," Aversa mocked. "The last time we went to your house, you didn't even have a single bottle of water to offer."
"Unlike you two, I don't swim in enough money to have water imported from Chon'sin everywhere in my house," the man grinned sarcastically.
"Maybe you would, if you were a better employee," Aversa laughed.
"Yeah… Didn't you lose a promotion last year for… What was it again? Oh, yes!" Robin smiled evilly. "Slacking off."
"I wasn't slacking off. I hurt my stupid leg and stopped working for a few minutes," Gangrel shot back.
"But it made you lose the promotion anyways," Robin mocked. "Because, because, because! Someone wasn't using the proper security equipment as they should."
"What a horrible thing, Mongrel… I'm so disappointed with you," Aversa laughed. "You're truly the worst kind of trash, aren't you?"
Usually, hearing that would make Gangrel mad, but that time he had something on the tip of his tongue.
"Yes, I'm trash. The worst kind. That's why I can recognize trash like me when I see it," he laughed eerily. "For example, there're two trash human beings right in front of me that think so highly of themselves, but only know how to have sex and play videogames."
"Oh, really? Well, let me correct you on one thing, though," Robin disconnected the joy-cons of her Switch and handed one to Aversa. "There's something else we know aside from having sex and playing videogames."
"And that would be?"
"We can aim," Robin and Aversa said in unison as they threw the joy-cons at Gangrel's direction.
Despite being caught off guard by the sudden attack, Gangrel somehow managed to avoid both pieces of plastic thrown at him, which ended hitting and smashing an expensive-looking porcelain vase into a million pieces.
"Oh, no…" both girls felt a shiver running down their spines.
"WHAT WAS THAT SOUND?" Validar yelled from the kitchen.
"Your daughters just…" Gangrel began, before Robin jumped from the couch and covered his mouth using one hand.
"NOTHING! THAT WAS NOTHING!" the girl yelled back while trying to keep a clearly unhappy Gangrel quiet. "DON'T WORRY, DAD! EVERYTHING'S FINE HERE! GO BACK TO WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING!"
Despite Robin sounding extremely unconvincing, Validar ended not leaving the kitchen, either having believed his daughter's words or simply concluding it wasn't anything worth checking.
"Hide what is left of that vase! I'll go get another one!" Aversa ordered in a low and nervous tone while getting up from the couch and running somewhere else.
Robin took her hand off Gangrel's mouth, indiscreetly cleaned it on the man's shirt, kneeled to get every shard of the broken vase and ran out of the house, desperately trying to think on a good place to hide the vestiges of her and Aversa's 'crime'. After she left, Henry casually got up from the couch, grabbed both joy-cons, cleaned them a bit, went to where Robin was sitting, got her Switch, connected the two controllers and returned to his place playing the game.
It took a few minutes until Aversa returned with another vase that looked exactly like the one that broke. She carefully put it on the old vase's spot, cleaned it a bit, double-checked its position and, after making sure it was perfectly positioned, sighed relieved and sloppily returned to her place on the couch.
"Luckily, my old man believed Robin and didn't come check what happened…" the girl said to herself.
"Why do you have two vases that look exactly the same?" Gangrel asked.
"Because that shit is super fragile, fucking expensive and my parents filled every room in this house with it," Aversa grumbled and crossed her arms. "Whenever we can, Robin and I buy spares of all vases we think are the most likely to break, so if something does end breaking, we can replace it before dad or mom notice."
"Scared of your mommy and daddy?" the red-haired man mocked.
"Do you have any idea of how much bullshit we're forced to listen whenever one of those things breaks?"
In that moment, Robin returned to the room, a relieved, although slightly annoyed expression on her face.
"Did get rid of the other vase?" Aversa asked her sister.
"More or less," the younger girl scratched the back of her head. "There were no trash cans nearby, so I had to be creative."
"And by that you mean…?"
"Ricken was nearby and I convinced him to take the vase far away from here."
"Ricken? Why was he here?" Aversa asked raising an eyebrow.
"Why do you think?" Robin asked back.
"Oh… He was looking for you, huh?" the older girl giggled mischievously.
"Excuse me?" Tharja asked somberly.
"And you know what's worse? To convince him to take the vase away from here, I promised to go out on a date with him tomorrow," Robin grumbled.
"EXCUSE ME?" Tharja's face darkened.
"Really? You promised that so easily?" Aversa smiled evilly.
"I was desperate, he didn't want to help and the stupid old lady that lives on the other side of the street was nearby. If I didn't get rid of that shit before she saw me, the hag would surely have commented something to dad or mom and screwed us. Which reminds me…"
Robin turned to Gangrel and glared at him.
"You'd better not say a single word about this to our parents."
"As tempting as it is, I wouldn't gain anything from that, so it would be just a waste of time," the man said dismissively.
"Good. Now, let me go back to my…"
"So long, sucker!" Henry said happily as the enemy he was battling died.
"Hey! Who allowed you to play my game?!" Robin put both hands on her hips and walked towards the boy.
"I just wanted to try your new game," Henry kept his eyes glued on the screen.
"Alright, I can let you try my new game. AFTER I FINISH IT!"
With a quick move, Robin snatched the console from the boy's hands and returned to her place grumbling something nobody could understand.
"Aww… Don't be selfish, Robin!" Henry complained. "Just because Aversa is your older sister doesn't mean you have to follow her example!"
"You really want me to kick you out of the couch, don't you?" Aversa asked with a threatening smile.
"Robin, you can't be seriously thinking on going out with Ricken, can you?" Tharja asked the younger white-haired girl.
"I did what I had to. Now, shut up and let me play in peace," Robin growled irritated.
"But that's ridiculous. He doesn't deserve…"
"Oh! Oh! I already faced that enemy! His weakness is…" Henry shouted, pointing at the screen of Robin's videogame.
"I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP!" the girl yelled without taking her eyes off the game.
"Don't interrupt me, you little pest," Tharja threatened. "Do you want to be cursed?"
"Throw as many curses as you want. I know how to dispel everything you have in your arsenal!" the boy happily challenged.
"Oh… He seems to want a fight," Aversa smiled.
"And a fight I can give him," Tharja grinned sinisterly.
"Wizard fight! Wizard fight! Yay!" Henry celebrated.
"That's it, I'm done. I don't care what Validar will say to me later, I can't stand those ridiculous kids anymore," Gangrel grumbled and turned around ready to leave.
Unfortunately for him, that was the exact moment Validar entered the room bringing two carts with lots of plates on them that filled the room with a delicious aroma.
"Sorry to keep you waiting. It took a bit longer than I expected," Robin and Aversa's father said courteously.
The variety available would make any restaurant green of envy. There was grilled fish, seven types of meat, three bowls of caviar, vegetables soup, fowl chicken, breads, roasted potatoes covered with butter, lots and lots of fruits, five types of juice, a glass of wine (a small one, mind you), five cakes of different flavors and, specifically for Robin, a sandwich of bear meat with eggs.
Everyone, even the moody Gangrel, became absolutely astonished by the amount of food in front of them.
"Yay! Free food!" Henry cheered.
"Wow… That's way more than I expected," Aversa commented more surprised than she wanted to sound, then looked at Validar. "What happened to deserve such a big celebration?"
"What? I spent all this time doing it for you two and you don't even know why I did it?" the man asked irritated.
"Uh… Was it related to Grima?" Robin tried to guess.
"Sincerely, I wonder how you two managed to get a perfect score despite being so airheaded…"
"Perfect score? Which perfect score?" Aversa and Robin asked in unison.
"The headmaster of the academy called me yesterday to tell you two got a score of one hundred points in the Master Exam."
"We… we did?" both girls raised an eyebrow.
"Wow! The Master Exam? That's the hardest exam the academy has! It comprises absolutely all the subjects!" Henry began clapping his hands. "Congratulations!"
"Only Robin would be able of such a feat. She's perfect," Tharja said teasingly.
"You know Aversa also got a perfect score, right?" Henry pointed out.
"Shut up."
"Huh… I must admit I'm a bit admired. That is, if you haven't cheated," Gangrel said the last part in a volume only him could hear, a wicked smile on his face.
Robin and Aversa looked at each other completely speechless.
The Master Exam, as hard and demanding as it was, didn't prevent anyone from graduating even if they got a bad score; in fact, it was more of a tool to measure the students' learning curve than anything else. The only reason anyone would want to get a good score on that test would be for bragging purposes. Because of that, Robin and Aversa answered all the questions at random, without a single care in the world and unworried of failing miserably.
Ironically, their complete lack of care for the exam ended giving them a perfect (and undeserved) score.
"For the longest time, I thought you two would, one day, do something so absurdly stupid the precious name of our family wouldn't survive the shame and all our legacy would be thrown in the mud to be stepped on by every miserable low-life in existence," Validar said with a serious tone. "In fact, your mother and I have considered many times to send you both to a boarding school for girls."
"We love you, too," Robin grumbled.
"But the score you managed to get at the Master Exam proved me you're more than capable of carrying the name of our family," the man smiled a bit. "And to reward you two for your efforts, we used the money for your registrations in the Plegian Feminine Academy to prepare this meal."
"Hold on just a second… You and mother really planned to send us to a fucking boarding school?!" Robin asked horrified.
"If that meant putting you both on the line," the girls' father said coldly.
"Are you kidding me?! The motherfucking Plegian Feminine Academy?!" Aversa almost roared in disgust. "I would die of boredom in that place! They don't allow parties, drinking, dating and they control everything we do, eat and dress! Even unbuttoning my shirt a bit would be enough to cause a scandal!"
"Even worse, they have limited internet connection!" Robin said in horror. "How would I update my games and consoles?! If I even had any time to play any games!"
"Which is why you two should be grateful for the headmaster calling me yesterday. Otherwise, we would have made your registrations TODAY," Validar informed.
"Oh… HELL NO!" both girls grumbled together.
"I'm sorry for interrupting such a beautiful moment between father and daughters, but I believe there was something you wanted to speak with me," Gangrel directed at Validar.
"Oh, yes. Indeed," the other man confirmed with a nod. "There's a matter I need to discuss with you."
"Then let's get started. The sooner we finish, the sooner…"
"Unfortunately, I forgot my wife and I would go to the opera tonight. We'll have to leave it for tomorrow," Validar said apologetically.
"WHAT?!" Gangrel's jaw dropped. "Then I came here for nothing?!"
"I apologize for the inconvenience, Gangrel. To compensate, you can make company for my daughters and eat with them."
"How is that supposed to make me feel better?!"
"And if I remember correctly, the meal was supposed to be ours," Robin crossed her arms and glared at her father. "By the way, what was the point of calling Henry here?"
"I called him here because of all the…"
Validar's explanation was suddenly interrupted by the beeping of his watch.
"Oh, my. I have to go or we'll be late for the opera," the man said looking at the time.
"Aaaand… my question was ignored. How unexpected…" Robin mumbled.
"I'm leaving now. You all enjoy the food. And… Aversa, Robin," Validar looked at his daughters.
Both girls gave him a nonchalant look.
"You may not believe what I'm about to say right now, but…" a faint smile appeared in the man's face. "We're proud of you. Your mother and me."
"You're right. We don't believe it," Aversa said mockingly.
"I thought so."
With a polite bow, Validar said his parting words, turned around and walked away.
"Do you really think he was serious about that thing of being proud of us?" Robin asked Aversa, raising an eyebrow.
"Maybe, but I don't think that'll last for long," the older girl answered.
"I can't believe it… He made me come here for nothing and left just like that?" Gangrel growled irritated.
"Yup. That's Validar for you," Robin and Aversa said at the same time.
"Well, at least I can go home…"
Almost like it was mocking him, the weather suddenly changed and the sound of heavy rain drops hitting the roof began echoing through the house.
"Are you serious?" Gangrel half-complained, half-lamented.
"Great, we're stuck here with you…" Tharja lowly groaned.
"I definitely shouldn't have left my house today," the red-haired man gritted his teeth in anger. "What am I supposed to do now?!"
"Don't you have a car?" Robin asked nonchalant.
"My car broke. I had to come on foot."
"If that'll make you leave, we can lend you an umbrella," the girl smiled innocently.
"Forget it. I'm not walking five miles on foot under the rain."
"Which reminds me, I also can't go back home until the rain stops," Henry put a finger on his chin.
"Neither me. Not that I'm in a hurry to go home," Tharja said, smiling coyly and getting closer to Robin.
"I told you to stay away from me, you psychotic pervert," Robin leaned away from the other girl.
"In other words, we're stuck here with a former virgin weirdo, a motherfucking psychotic stalker and a trash bag," Aversa crossed her arms and sighed annoyed. "What do we do?"
The five people in the room exchanged a few looks and glares before locking eyes on the food resting on the carts Validar brought. They had nothing better to do and wasting food was the only sin both Grima and Naga punished, so…
One hour later…
Wasting food was a sin punished by both Grima and Naga, but gluttony was something that only really bothered the latter. Since everyone in the room either didn't care about religion or was a Grimleal, nobody worried about overeating and all the plates were empty in record time, save for a roasted potato forgotten on a corner.
Of course, it didn't prevent them from suffering the side effects of stuffing themselves with more than their stomachs could handle.
"Ugh… Please, tell me there's no food left…" Aversa almost begged, putting a hand on her stomach and massaging it to reduce the pain.
"Don't speak of food. I'm so stuffed it hurts. It hurts so much I just want to die to not feel this pain anymore!" Robin almost cried.
"I think… I may have gained a few pounds…" Tharja's expression darkened. "What shall I do? If I lose my slender figure, I'll never have a chance of gaining Robin's affection!"
"Slender or fat, you never had a chance…" said girl grumbled.
"Wow… I'm so full I feel like my stomach is about to burst at any moment, instantaneously killing me!" Henry loudly said in a happy voice. "Oh, man! This feels so amazing!"
"Don't dare to die. I need you to continue fucking Maribelle and keeping her tolerable," Robin said in an authoritarian voice.
"Hey, can you shut up?" Gangrel, who was sitting on the floor and leaning on the side of the couch, asked angrily. "My stomach hurts and your noise is making my head hurt as well!"
"Hey, Gangrel… Let me sing a song for you," Robin taunted.
"I hate to admit, but dad cooks rather well for someone who's always ordering other people to do it for him. At least, it wasn't the same disaster as the Christmas turkey," Aversa commented.
"I already said it was Ricken's fault. He distracted me," the girl's younger sister said defensively.
"By the way, why was he here for Christmas in the first place?"
"I don't remember and I can happily die that way."
A few seconds of silence.
"Hey, Aversa, since we don't have class tomorrow and it has stopped raining, wanna go hit some parties? I know a place that's open today," Robin asked her sister.
"Nah… Right now, I don't want to do anything. I ate so much my entire body feels heavy as fuck."
"Alright, but if you change your mind, we can use the car."
"Didn't dad and mom take the car?"
"Dad's car. Mom's still in the garage."
"Hey, which part of 'shut up' you two didn't understand?!" Gangrel growled.
Robin leaned towards the potato abandoned on the cart, grabbed it and shoved it in Gangrel's mouth to silence him. Unnecessary to say, the man wasn't a single bit happy by that and began shouting all kinds of indecent things that were muffled by the potato.
"Like I was saying, mom's car is still in the garage," Robin resumed the conversation with her sister.
"It doesn't matter. She cursed the car so nobody else can open it, remember?"
"Oh, yeah…"
Without any other choice left, Gangrel was forced to munch the potato in his mouth and swallow it.
"What if we break the curse?" Robin asked.
"I don't want to go anywhere, so it would be pointless. Besides, breaking one of mother's curses? How do you plan to do that? Neither of us has enough power."
"And if we use one of dad's spells?"
"And how do you plan to use one of dad's spells?"
"Didn't we discover where he keeps his Book of Grima?" Robin smiled mischievously.
"Heeeey… That's actually a pretty good idea," Aversa delivered with an equally mischievous smile.
After the two girls finished talking, silence filled the room once again. It would probably have remained like that, if not for Henry suddenly asking with an innocent tone:
"Soooo… Can we play Mario Kart now?"
"Oh, for Naga's sake…" Robin, Aversa, Tharja and Gangrel grumbled and rolled their eyes in unison.
The End
At first, I thought this story was a lot more indecent than what I usually make, but after reading it twice I noticed it's much lighter than I expected. I'm not complaining, I'm just a bit surprised it wasn't the behemoth of a vulgarity party as it looked in my head.
Thank you so much for reading, I wish you all a good day/afternoon/night and I hope this story was worth your time.
Emphasis on 'hope', because I'm almost certain it wasn't. But I can hope, right? Right? Riiiight? Hoping isn't wrong, riiight?
…
This sounds oddly familiar…
Anyways, see you next time!