SHATTERED

Have you ever watched the pieces of your life fade away?

~0~

What was once whole and beautiful, a beacon in it's unique complexities...now broken into a thousand shining pieces on the floor...slivers flashing in the accusing light and threatening to impale you?

~0~

That was my life, I loved it, before Mum died, before I came out, before Dad married Carol and moved Finn in...but I ask myself, laughingly, what was the point?

What is the point to all of this?

~0~

I was gifted a new mother, a package deal with someone I thought I could trust, a big brother...but what use is a sibling that turns their face away when you are getting beaten? Where were they when you are being shoved into lockers and slushied every day of your life?

~0~

Nowhere!

~0~

They don't want to be involved because it seems you are too 'faggy', and apparently, according to the idiot I now share my room with, it's catching and he's afraid it will turn him...

Why must there be so many sharp edges to what was once a smooth, beautiful life?

~0~

My father, Burt, ah, there is another facet to the equation...well, at least he will have the strong, masculine son he's always wanted, in Finn, when I am gone...

~0~

The sound of gently trickling water pervades my thoughts as it feeds the warm pool I sit in, a King of Bubbles, strawberry-scented, naturally. The Door is locked, no key can perforate my kingdom, for the original and spare are currently sleeping in the toilet.

~0~

There will be no interruptions, not that anyone will care...they can be happy without me...

~0~

My only regret, is leaving Blaine...I- I think I liked him, liked him...if that makes any sense at all?

He was my only friend and champion, especially after after Karofsky...hmm, would 'attacked' be too strong a word, in this instance? It certainly felt like an attack...

~0~

He forced his mouth on mine, more a battle than a kiss, especially as it was both unwarranted and unwanted...I mean, with Gaga as my witness, who does that? Go from screaming and threatening to kill me, to- to kissing?

~0~

Thoughts such as these burble through my mind as the water rises higher, it comes close to spilling over the edge, but I am careful to keep my arms upon the sides, crimson streaks pooling on the -hand-picked- pink tiles...and there is another thing!

~0~

I go to the trouble of hand-crafting a room and bathroom, carrying out all renovations myself, that blends and complements BOTH of our personalities...and he just throws it back in my face?

Well, ex-cuse me, Mr Quarterback, but it's not like I spent nearly four hours tearing apart what was MY ROOM, and redecorating everything I once knew, so you could scream that everything was Faggy!

~0~

I am suddenly very tired, water begins to seep over the sides of the ornate gilded sides of the bathtub, winding a little trail across the floor...I watch lazily as it seeps into the bathmat and moves on, assimilating everything into it's wet world without pause or care for it's actions.

~0~

Suddenly, though it's crazy...I feel for the bathmat...

Then I just feel like an idiot...but, it's not doing any harm and yet if the water says 'Be wet' it has to, the inanimate object is unable to fight the rising tide as it clambers to assimilate any differences...

Then I groan, oh my Gaga! I'm being philosophical about a Bathmat!

~0~

Clear liquid floods onwards, I feel a tinge of betrayal as it seeps out, under the stark white door -damn, meant to paint it a nice-...hang on, shut up brain, I'm be-

~0~

Loud, jarring thumping shakes the wood as someone pounds on the door from outside, I stay silent, even as a familiar voice yells, "Kurt? Man, are you okay in there? There's water everywhere and- Oh my God!"

I am assuming Finn is referring to the scarlet trails now lacing the clear liquid as it rolls under the door towards him...it is almost...beautiful how it maintains it's individuality when surrounded by everything else...

I giggle stupidly, realizing that I never thought of red as my colour...

~0~

"Kurt? Kurt! Answer me?" A note of fevered panic enters the voice of my father's favourite son...I sigh and call back...well, I meant it to be a call, but it ended up as a soft, almost-loud whisper, "Leave me alone..."

The pounding stopped, I could hear harsh, ragged breathing and almost hear the cogs whirring in his brain as he attempted to come up with a plan...he stirred, there was a smash and a growl of frustration...I assumed, with mu currently fuzzy logic, that he was searching for the spare key we had in case of emergencies...

~0~

Too bad it was already taking a swim in the Goldfish Graveyard...

~0~

It was strange...he almost seemed, genuinely...concerned as more and more of the water leaving the room slowly began to turn a deep crimson, it only took a drop or two to completely dilute the water and make it look like a river of blood...

I laughed...he didn't care, my own father had seemed ashamed when I had told him I wasn't going to be bringing pretty little girls back home, so he would be relieved now...lucky him...

At least he had Carol now, while I could go see Mum...like I always dreamed when I was younger...

~0~

My hold on reality, on this world, began to slip away...I heard frantic steps, ascending, then more clumping down again, four pairs...wait, four?

Carol, Finn, Dad...who else would be- "Move yo Skinny ass out of that room, RIGHT NOW, White Boy!"

Ah, Mercedes...somehow that didn't surprise me- oh yes, we were going to finally go for that shopping trip I had been promising to take her on for ages now, oh...I completely forgot it was today...

Damn, she was going...to...be...crushed...Oh, Gaga...

~0~

In that moment, I realized that some people cared for me!

Although it was too late, the rushing of water filled my ears as someone pounded on the door, literally hammering it into small pieces...flecks of wood flying everywhere...

Was it getting dark...?

"Kurt? KURT! Are you alright?" So many voices intermingled I couldn't think who was speaking...my head was spinning and all I could see were a million flecks of light...stars?

~0~

In those last few moments, as my life flashed past my eyes, my mistakes were made brazenly clear...and I hoped...I hoped that somebody would save me in time...

~0~

And as the door splintered inwards with almighty crash, and several set of strong arms lifted me up...

~0~

Somebody did...