I was given the suggestion to do a yuri story one night from my sister. I like yuri as much as I do yaoi…You just wouldn't see that in my favorites list because I haven't found any good ones yet. So here it is, my first yuri story. Don't flame me because of what I choose to write.
Disclaimer: Gomenasai belongs to T.a.T.u. Chibi-usa, Setsuna and Hotaru belong to the wonderful authoress of Sailor Moon (who's name escapes me at the moment). And I'm not making money from this story.
A/N: This is my first fic with an actual suicide in it. So be gentle with it please.
Italics lyrics
The Graceful Lights Die
She had tried everything she could. The painful screams never ended. Echoing painfully. Never ending. Guilt like lead weighed her down. In all the time they had been friends she never thought it would come down to a stupid fight that drove them apart and eventually kill what she held dear.
What I thought wasn't mine
In the light
Was a one of a kind
A precious pearl
She couldn't control her body. Her violet eyes wide in shock and horror as her deadly glaive cut through the delicate flesh of the other girl. The girl's red eyes were filled with horror and horrible pain as she falls to the floor, her life's blood draining from the slash mark on her stomach.
"Hota-chan…"
When I wanted to cry
I couldn't cause I
Wasn't allowed
They had known each other for 10 years. Ever since they had meet in the park that one faithful day, they were inseparable. Even with the threat of death on her from the others. Still, the young one stayed by her side. Than…on the eve of her nineteenth birthday, she went and betrayed the young woman she held closer than even her own father. The vicious control on her is released and she kneels down, gently holding her hand out to the slash mark.
"Chibi-usa…I'm sorry…" She murmurs, her already quiet voice even quieter in remorse.
The injured girl just smiles gently, knowing it wasn't her who did it.
Gomenasai
For everything
Gomenasai
I know I let you down
Gomenasai 'till the end
I never needed a friend like I do now
She couldn't remember what the fight was about that they had. No recollection of it went through her mind as she tried to heal her best friend. But her mind was shaky from what she had unwillingly done. She couldn't concentrate enough to do it. Her friend's blood was staining the white of her gloves red and her eyes were filled with tears that would not fall.
What I thought wasn't all
So innocent
Was a delicate doll
Of porcelain
"Chibi-usa…I'm so sorry…" She murmurs again, her violet eyes landing on the fading red ones of her best friend.
"I know…It wasn't…you…Hota-chan…" Is the fading murmur.
Her hand is grabbed and she's pulled down with surprising strength. In a fleeting moment of confusion, her friend presses her lips against hers. Her violet eyes widen in shock at first, than she relaxes into it, only pulling back when she feels the other's strength failing.
When I wanted to call you
And ask you for help
I stopped myself
"Chibi-usa…?"
"That's all…I wanted for…My birthday…Hota-chan…Was you…By my side…I love you…And know…I never blamed you…For anything…"
Her friend's hand slips out of her hers and her eyes widen in horror as the beautiful red eyes slip shut.
"Chibi-usa? Chibi-usa?!" She calls, trying to ignore the cold setting in.
Gomenasai
For everything
Gomenasai
I know I let you down
Gomenasai 'till the end
I never needed a friend like I do now
A week passes listlessly. She wishes she could go back in time and stop herself from ever attacking her love. She wishes she could heal the wound she herself caused and have her best friend and love by her side.
"Hotaru…?" A gentle, yet ageless voice comes.
She lifts her gaze up a little to meet startlingly blood red eyes. She quickly looks away, guilt flitting through her eyes as the older woman comes over and sits on the bed.
"I never realized what I had in her…Until I no longer had her at my side…" She speaks brokenly, trying not to cry again.
"She loved you Hotaru, and I can see you loved her as well. As more than sisters. And I know you feel guilty…I can see it your eyes…But you shouldn't stop eating just because she's gone…"
She doesn't say anything in return, closing her eyes in bitter remembrance. The kiss still lingered on her lips, taunting and teasing her with nightmares. That night, another comes. But it's different. She's standing in a field of cherry blossoms trees and an ever-steady curtain is falling, filling the air with its beautiful fragrance.
What I thought was a dream
A mirage
Was as real it seemed
A privilege
She blinks in shock than steps away as the beautiful woman appears in front of a tree, her pink meatball pig tails moving gently in the wind.
"Hota-chan…Why are you doing this…?"
"I let you down! We had that stupid fight and just before your birthday, I kill you!"
She breaks off in a sharp gasp as she's gently wrapped in an embrace. The soft cloth of her love's princess dress brushes against her bare legs and she feels smooth, gentle hands, running through her shoulder length violet hair.
"I told you…I never blamed you…I'll be waiting for you…"
When I wanted to tell you
I made a mistake
I walked away
She awakes with her love's dream kiss still lingering on her forehead and lips. She immediately heads out and goes to a field of cherry blossom trees, similar to those in her dream. She reaches up with a pale hand and catches a blossom. The pink petals shimmer faintly in the sunlight and she let's it go, watching it drift away. She looks up at the sky, looking through the multiple branches in her way. She sees the crescent moon, turned upward and smiles sadly as an image of the beautiful pink haired moon princess appears in her mind, a joyful smile on her face.
Gomenasai
For everything
Gomenasai
Gomenasai
Gomenasai
I never needed a friend
Like I do now
She transforms and moves her hand up the staff of her deadly glaive until her hand is right under the blade.
"I'm coming…Chibi-usa…Wait for me…" She whispers.
The night is filled with the sound of blood splattering the ground. The sound of metal hitting the ground comes as the glaive falls from lifeless fingers, blood staining the blade. She collapses to the ground, her neck sliced open by her own hand. Blood is quickly flowing from the wound, staining the ground as her violet eyes quickly lose their life.
Gomenasai
I let you down
Gomenasai
Gomenasai
Gomenasai 'till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now"I love you Chibi-usa…" Are her last words.
Her life fades as she lies there. Minutes pass with no movement. Up in the sky, a transparent image is seen of a violet haired girl in a long violet dress, arm in arm with a meatball head pink haired girl in a long white dress. The violet haired girl is smiling faintly in happiness while the pink haired girl is laughing happily, leaning against her love.
"I'm sorry you committed suicide to join me…But I'm happy nonetheless…"
"I had to make up for killing you…so here I am…I love you…"
The two girls gently kiss before vanishing from the sky.