Malfoy Gets Expelled
The Musical
Malfoy: Hey Crabbe, Goyle. Come over here. Let's go ruin the trophies in the trophy room! And then we'll mess up the hospital wing!
(To the tune of All-star) My father once told me that over here at Hogwarts, they hate it when you go breaking rules. But rules are for losers, and I am not a loser, so why don't I go try and break them. Well, I'll spread bad rumors and I'll tell cruel humor, fed up with rules, I think I have a tumor. Professor Mcgonagall's stupid, and so's that Lockhart guy that looks like a cupid… Hey now, rules are stupid. Let's go break them, go play! And all that's stupid is rules. Rules are only followed by total fools.
Harry/Ron/Hermione: Oooh, we caught you. Let's go to Dumbledore. (To the tune of Hit the Road, Jack) Hit the road, Drac. And don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more. Hit the road, Drac, and don't you come back no more.
Harry: Let's go to Dumbledore.
Narrator: Just then, Severus Snape walks into the room.
Snape: I saw the whole thing. To tell you the truth Draco- (To the tune of Crazy) You drive me crazy! I just can't teach. I'm so frustrated; I'm in too deep. Crazy! I'll just have to expel you. Sorry Draco Malfoy, there's nothing else to do.
Narrator: Snape, Harry, Ron, and Hermione take Malfoy up to Dumbledore's office.
Dumbledore: I'd like to speak to mister Malfoy alone. I'd like to have a word with you, Draco. About your father. (To the tune of Blue) Yo, listen up. Here's the story, about your evil dad, and how he was ex-pelled. All day and all night and everything he did was just bad, like him, inside and outside. Bad, his brain, 'cause he killed 13 people. So, we kicked him out, and he joined up with Voldemort. Who killed so many great wizards around like the Prewetts, the Bones, and the Potters. Your Dad was a really bad man, he was a really bad man. He was a really bad man. He was a really bad man. He was a really bad man. He was a really bad man. He is a really bad man your Dad was a really bad man, he was a really bad man. He was a really bad man.
Narrator: They held a ceremony bidding Malfoy farewell.
Everyone: (To the tune of American Pie) Long, long time ago. We can still remember, when your dad tried on the sorting hat. It took five minutes to decide. Slytherin!? Your father lied. He was really in Hufflepuff. When he killed those students, we decided there was something he was hiding. We'll be partying day and night, the day… The Malfoys die. We'll all be singing, Bye, bye, Mr. Lucius Malfoy. We've hated your guts since you were a boy. You're killing people with a face full of joy. We hate every single Malfoy. We hate every single Malfoy. Bye, bye, Mr. Draco Malfoy. We're sorry to expel you but the rules aren't a toy. Professor Snape said you were a fool. Why don't we just all laugh at you. Why don't we kick you out of school.
The End