Our Little Warrior
He heard her scream over and over again. Each time he clenched his jaw and curled his hands into fists. He couldn't stand to hear her screaming; to hear her in pain. He wished that he could do something do something about it. But he wasn't allowed to go in. And even if he had been, there really was nothing that he could've done to comfort her. Even imagining the pain of childbirth hurt, if the screaming was any measure. It had been like this since before dawn and the sun had been shining happily in the sky for awhile now. The shrieks of pain had been intermittent at first but now they were almost constant. Had something gone wrong? No, surely not...someone would have told him.
Taran wondered, as he had often since he had found out that Eilonwy was with child, whether or not he could be a father. Eilonwy had reassured him many times, but Taran certainly didn't think he could be a father. She always told him that his incessant worrying was rather like trying to read a book with his eyes shut, but he didn't think so.
He had never had a father or a mother. Both had been killed shortly after he had been born. No not killed, slain, they had been slain. All he had had was Coll and Dallben. They were both his teachers. They had cared for him and let him learn from his mistakes. What they had shown him as his mentors was all he knew about taking care of a child. But he had never really been their son, even though he had been treated as one by them. Ever since he had found out that he was not related to them he had wondered who he truly was. But this child would never have to worry about that. He and Eilonwy would always be there for their children. Wouldn't they?
He had never even held a baby before. He had never really taken care of any children. Yes, he had played once with the children of Llonio Son of Llonwen, but that was it. He didn't know how hold a baby let alone raise a child. How in the world would he be a father? What if he did something wrong? What if he somehow ended up hurting his child? He couldn't do that! He would never be able to live with himself if he did that.
"Taran, what is wrong?" Eilonwy said sleepily.
"Nothing, go back to sleep" he murmured. He had been laying awake in bed for quite some time now. The night was old but sleep eluded his worried mind.
Eilonwy turned towards her husband. He looked worried and rather pensieve. "Come on now Taran, tell me what is that matter. You know I'll find out sooner or later."
He stay silent for a couple moments then said, "I'm not sure that I can be a good father to our child."
Her expression betrayed that she had expected a comment like his. She put a hand up to his face and said, "I think you will be. Don't always doubt yourself in this way."
"But I've never even held a small child before...How will I know what to do?"
"You just will. I've never held a child either. But we are the child's parents. I believe we will know."
"But- " Taran started.
"Will you love the child Taran?"
"I already do."
"Then that is enough."
But was loving their child really enough? He could love the child so much yet still make mistakes in the child's upbringing could he not?
Was being a good father something that was in some and not in others? Because if it was...was it in him? What if it wasn't? Or was being a father something a person learned? If it was something that a person learned, he would make sure to learn as fast as he could, for the sake of his children.
Taran was suddenly drawn from his thoughts as he heard the crying of a baby.
He looked up expectantly as the midwife opened the door and let him enter.
"You have a son, my lord."
Taran smiled as he half walked, half ran over to Eilonwy who was holding a small bundle in her arms. Her face was drawn, and she looked tired, but she was glowing as only a new mother could.
He walked slowly up to her bed and looked down upon their child.
"This is your son Taran," Eilonwy said, smiling radiantly up at him.
"Our son, Eilonwy," he said kissing her on her forehead.
"Here, hold him," Eilonwy said.
Taran didn't hesitate as he thought he would. He knew how to hold this baby; his son. Slowly he took him from Eilonwy and sat down next to her. The small child in his arm had taken away his fears. He could do this, really, he could. The boy was fast asleep in the woolen blanket that was wrapped around him. A little bit of dark brown fuzz could be seen on his head.
"He looks like you. Except for his hair, he has my hair," Taran said, grinning.
"Yes, he does have your hair."
"What color eyes does he have?"
"Blue."
"Like yours," Taran replied.
Eilonwy just smiled, still looking fondly at the sleeping boy.
They just sat there for a few minutes, looking at the child that they had brought into the world.
"What shall we name him?" Eilonwy said after a while, breaking the silence.
"I don't know."
Both were silent again as they thought.
"Caradoc?" Taran suggested.
Eilonwy wrinkled her nose.
Their son had opened his eyes as though he was overlooking his naming. He was looking intently at his father with his clear blue eyes.
"Morning, little one," Taran said gently, putting his finger on his son's tiny hand.
"Emyr?" Eilonwy said.
It was Taran's turn to cringe.
"Well it means honour..."
"Kendric?" Taran said.
"No...Madoc?"
"That name isn't so bad. I rather like- Ow!" Taran was interrupted by a sharp pain in his finger. Their son was holding on to Taran's forefinger very tight.
Eilonwy started to laugh lightly, "I don't think he likes that name very much."
"He is a strong boy," Taran said proudly after finally prying his finger away from the baby.
"Then his name shall be Evan. It means young warrior," Eilonwy said.
The name just seemed to fit and Evan was quiet.
"Our little warrior."
A/N: I'm not very happy with this story but as with my Eragon one I decided to post it before it drove me completely crazy. Please, if you have gotten this far, press the review button and leave a comment (I really like reviews :P). And constructive criticism is, as always, greatly appreciated and welcome. And a big thanks to my beta BlindingPinkObsession!