Stark Tower
Chapter 1
Avengers Mansion
Part 1
Tony was doing his worst impression of Thor's first encounter with cheese. He had done it every time they'd eaten cheese for the last month and a half, but it had gotten old about two days in. Even though Clint and Natasha didn't really care, Steve could tell that once more impression and Bruce couldn't be held responsible for what the "other guy" did. It had been six months since Bruce's last outburst, and he didn't want to break that streak anytime soon.
After Loki's Chituari invasion, the Avengers had all gone their separate ways, but about six months previously they had teamed up again to stop another Blonsky rampage, this time deciding to stick together. Unfortunately, Stark Tower was beginning to get a little crowded. It was now populated by the Avengers, Pepper Potts, Rhodey and, if SHIELD can find him, Spider-man. Thor had also insisted on Lady Sif and The Warriors Three staying whenever they could, and Loki showed up out of nowhere once a month for what he called "Mischief Day". Multitudes of SHIELD agents flooded most levels. Steve had decided it was time to speak up.
"Guys," he said, "I think we should get a bigger place."
"Why would you want to live somewhere without my name on the side in big neon letters?" asked Tony.
"Because everyone is here! SHIELD, your company, Thor's asgardian friends, heck, I think I even saw the Lizard in the basement!" Steve answered.
"He's right," added Clint. "If this team is gonna be separate from SHIELD, we're gonna have to move away from them."
"Then it is decided!" bellowed Thor. "We shall move our palace elsewhere!"
"So I've designed the mansion to resemble my childhood home, except with much better tech and customised bedrooms," explained Tony, showing the team the holographic blueprints.
"Wait," interrupted Bruce. "What's that?" he gestured to a red folder in the hologram labelled "In case of emergency"
"That," replied Tony, "is none of your business."
Tony continued to run them through the complex blueprint, Steve and Thor repeatedly stopping to ask about several features unavailable where they came from. Eventually, Natasha stopped him.
"Who will be building this?" she asked.
"SHIELD."
"Wasn't the purpose of the exercise to separate ourselves from SHIELD?"
"It was."
"So isn't that kind of redundant?"
Tony paused. "Please hold all questions until the end of the presentation."
After six long months of construction, the Avengers Mansion was finished.
"Now, I know this is exciting," Tony said, "but I would just like to say… please don't hog the bandwidth."
Each team member split off and found their own personalised room. Thor entered his second-story dwelling to discover an astoundingly accurate Asgardian royal chamber, with walls made of solid gold. Steve walked into his old bedroom from the forties. Literally. Tony had bought everything, or the remains of everything, from Steve's forties bedroom. Even the bricks smelled like a black-and-white cartoon. Natasha's room was filled with her training equipment, including a motion sensor she activated by entering, which detonated several small explosives. Clint's room was filled with complex targets, and the closet contained a Robin Hood suit (complete with tights) and a Cupid costume. Bruce entered his room to find a lab filled with all of the intricate equipment he'd need to find a cure, and a bed in the center.
That night at dinner, only Tony was happy. The place had been built perfectly for him, but there were many problems the others had; Bruce had found himself locked in his room because JARVIS saw his unique GAMMA signature as a threat, there were cameras hidden all over Natasha's room, the Robin Hood and Cupid costumes that found their way back to Clint's closet no matter how many times he removed them, artificial thunderstorms in Thor's room and gunfire in Steve's room to "make him feel more at home".
They chatted amicably up until the moment War Machine came crashing through the roof, his armour scratched and melted in several places.
"Rhodey?" Tony enquired.
"Where the hell have you been?" Rhodey asked. "I've been tryin' to call reinforcements for a half-hour."
"What's happening?" Steve asked.
His question was answered by a strange scorpion-man crashing through the roof, his face human but his body looked as though some kind of green slime had taken a humanoid form. His right hand was a massive claw, and a menacing scorpion tail hung behind him, dripping with acid. The Scorpion roared at the group, and ran down one of the corridors. Clint and Thor followed it, but he was gone.