Summary: Tsuna and Hayato find themselves in place of Lara Croft. Repeatedly.
Note: this fic is completed with 13 chapters and will be updated on weekly basis (unless I forget, because I'm currently incapable of keeping track of days). It will have a sequel, but there is no guarantee that it will be written and posted immediately after I finish posting this fic.
Important Author Note: Unless it is specified who says which part, the dialogue typically alternates between Tsuna and Hayato.
WARNINGS: OOC, Language (there is a lot of cursing), Violence, Indiscriminate Killing (Tomb Raider Typical Killing- applies to humans, animals, and mythical creatures), Dialogue Heavy, Set In The Tomb Raider Games 'Verses, So May Not Make A Whole Lot Of Sense If You Don't Know TR (unless you, like me, don't mind that), Collection of Snippets/Drabbles/Scenes Featuring Tsuna's And Hayato's Adventures In The TR Games, Beware Of Unexpected Mood Whiplashes, Ship Teasing, Slight BoyxBoy (why do I even warn about this anymore?), Platonic 5927 (To The EXTREEEEEEEME!), Snark, Badass Tsuna And Hayato, Badasses In Dresses, Perverted Swords, Cute Hammers, And As Always: Shameless Self-Indulgence/Ridiculousness.
Disclaimer: Don't own TR or KHR.
.
Gokudera Hayato and Sawada Tsunayoshi were both seven years old when a bright light swept them up and deposited them in a world where they were both mistaken for a 'miss Croft', and no one seemed to realize that they existed or acknowledged their words and actions unless it fell in-line with what that 'miss Croft' would say or do.
.
The two weren't sure whether 'miss Croft' becoming an archeologist-slash-tomb raider was a blessing or a curse to their freedom to say or do what they want.
.
Last Revelation
.
"Hey, Hayato, why did we shrink from thirty to sixteen?"
"Beats me, Tsuna."
.
"Cool."
"Hayato, put that down."
"It's made of gold, I wonder if-"
"Hayato, it's a skull putitdownnow."
.
"Why are you freaking out about a golden skull when there are skele-"
"Don't. Mention. It."
.
"OH MY GOD!" Tsuna put a hand to his chest as he stared at the floor in front of him.
Hayato followed his path of sight, "Hmmm, I wonder how the spikes were worked into a system to-"
"STOP!"
"Tsuna, you keep interrupting me. It's not nice of you."
"It's not like you talk about nice things in the first place."
.
"Oh my god was that a wild boar?!"
"Tsuna, breathe, you've faced worse. Remember that pack of wolves on our first adventure?"
"At least we were armed back then!"
.
"Do I have to go to the other side? My clothes will get soaked. My shoes will get soaked! Walking while wearing soaked shoes is ugh."
"Fine, you big baby. I'll swim to the other side and get the bridge down."
"Thanks, Hayato; you're a life saver."
"Just stop acting like walking with soaked shoes is going to end your life; I remember when we swam with piranhas."
"Piranhas are not that bad. They are also delicious."
.
"Do you have to collect the skulls?"
"Yes, they are interesting. And I want to find out whether they are gold molded to look like a skull or a skull covered in gold."
"…"
"Don't look at me like that! You have no problem with yanking a backpack out of a skeleton's hand and using it for yourself."
"No comment."
.
"You sure can run fast."
"So what, Hayato? Would you have preferred that I casually stroll down the corridors while arrows are flying towards me?"
.
"He wants to race us to the Iris, huh?"
Tsuna and Hayato shared a smirk.
"Let's show this old man what we're made of."
.
Hayato breathed heavily after they reached the Iris.
"Damn, you really didn't hold back. If you hadn't dragged me by the hand, I'd have been left in the dust. What do you have there?" Hayato asked as he saw Tsuna stand up after he read the inscription on the stone in front of him.
"I don't think anyone who takes the Iris will be walking out of here alive."
"Really?"
"Well." Tsuna cocked his head towards Hayato, his lips were quirked in amusement, "We may need to exert a lot of effort to get the Iris and then get out."
Tsuna turned around to look towards the entrance, "Or some special fire power. But…"
That was when Von Croy came in.
.
"Damn, again. I kind of thought that you may try to help him out." Hayato raked a hand through his hair.
"He is an adult, responsible for himself and aware of the dangers. He had been warned, as well. It's not our fault that he didn't listen." Tsuna's eyes momentarily flashed orange, "We're not here to babysit him. In fact, according to our current physical age, he's supposed to be the minder. Now, Hayato, let's go."
Tsuna turned and walked off. Hayato whistled, it was not the first time that how firm Tsuna grew up to be surprised him.
.
"Oh, wow, we're thirty again. But where are we?"
"Let's explore and see. Though from the appearance of our guide, I can make a few guesses. What do you have on you?"
"Hmm, let me see-"
.
"Why," Tsuna started, looking at the shotgun Hayato picked up from the ground, incredulous, "Is there a perfectly working shotgun conveniently placed on the ground?"
"You'd think that after all the times we found perfectly functioning firearms, bullets, flares and other equipment in illogical places; you'd stop all the snarky, incredulous comments about the subject."
"Never!"
.
"Why are there shotgun shells in that dark corner up there?"
"Tsuna, stop."
.
"Goddamnit, Hayato! There is a spiked wheel rotating around! Focus!"
"Well, excuse me if I, an intellectual, want to know how the wheel was made and how it's functioning with rotating spikes that rotate in different directions and how it travels in-"
"HAYATO! FOCUS!"
.
"Did we just…"
"Get turned around? Yep."
"Dang it."
"At least we got a gun out of it."
"Speaking of which-"
"Tsuna, shut up."
.
"You think the blades will slice up and down again once we move forward?"
"Not sure. You're the guy with the terrifyingly accurate intuition, why are you asking me?"
"Do you want me to just drag you around all the time as I follow my intuition?"
"No…"
"But since you're asking, I don't think that the blades are going to move again."
"Okay."
"And Hayato?"
"Hmm?"
"Why do we always end up having this same conversation at some point during our adventures?"
"For the same reason we keep having that conversation about finding equipment in weird places, I'd bet."
.
"ALL of this is flammable? Great."
"What's the matter, Tsuna? It's flammable, shouldn't you be happy, Human-Flamethrower-san?"
"Pfffff, which one of us keeps making snarky comments again?"
.
"Ummm, where is he going?"
"And why is he leaving? Should we continue?"
"After we reached this far? Of course."
"I thought that you would be all for running off, color me surprised, Tsuna."
"Oh, hush you."
.
"That looks like a murder device."
"You're exaggerating."
"It's a spinning fan with wickedly sharp blades that have blades rotating at their ends. I'm exaggerating. Of course."
.
"Think we could take what's embedded in it?"
"How about we explore around first; I have a bad feeling about those pathways in the floor."
.
"The pathways lead towards the sarcophagi, I wonder why."
"I don't really want to know."
.
"It's red. Suspiciously red."
"C'mon Tsuna, where could they possibly get enough blood to run through the pathways as if it was water? Relax."
"What are those pools of red, then? They weren't there before. And the sarcophagi hold fucking mummies, Hayato."
"We are in ancient Egyptian ruins, Tsuna, why are you so surprised?"
.
"Oh great. We have to go past a mummy to continue on our way. Great. We should have run off with our guide."
"You're the one who suggested that we continue."
"Ugh. Don't remind me."
.
"Do you hear it?"
"How can I fucking not? Stop asking stupid questions."
"How can it even move? Ugh."
.
"Is that a mummy on the ground? Why is it not moving? Is it planning to surprise us when we least expect it?"
"Just go, Tsuna."
"Ohmygod it's getting up!"
"Go, Tsuna!"
.
"Did the room actually fucking rotate?!"
"How the fuck can they do that?"
.
"I can finally see the light."
"We're not done yet, Tsuna."
"Killjoy."
.
"Give me that." Hayato watched, mouth agape, as Tsuna yanked the shotgun from where it was strapped to Hayato's backpack and proceeded to shoot down their assailants.
It looked like someone wanted to vent.
As the last of their assailants fell down, Tsuna threw the shotgun back to Hayato and beckoned him over towards the jeep that was there. Hayato looked at the jeep, "We need the keys."
Tsuna brandished the keys in his hand as he sat in the driver's seat, "Hop in, Hayato."
Hayato took a moment to pray to every god he knew of to survive the trip with Tsuna behind the wheel, and then got in.
Tsuna put the keys in and started the car.
Tsuna floored it (for lack of a better term).
.
When Tsuna finally parked and got out, Hayato got out of the jeep on shaky legs and then collapsed to his knees. Hayato kissed the ground from relief.
"Oh, don't be a baby."
.
"Your insistence on jumping and climbing and dropping and crawling towards the weirdest, most unlikely places to find ammo and health packs, astounds me."
"Won't you ever shut up about it?"
"No."
.
"You get that one, I get this one?"
"Sure, Tsuna."
.
"So, what did you find?"
"A fucking shotgun."
"Heh."
"Shut up."
.
"I like this part of being a tomb raider."
"Yes, the exploration is nice."
"Until something pops up to attack you."
"Oh, hush."
.
"Holy shit! Is that a crocodile?!" Tsuna climbed to the highest point he could reach, Hayato brandished a shotgun in the face of the approaching crocodile.
"You had no problem with taking out the armed men before, but you're freaking out in front of a single crocodile that can't reach you after you climbed so high."
"Those men didn't have teeth so sharp that could tear me limb from limb!"
"Uh-huh."
"Just keep shooting!"
"Wow, you're so violent."
"Hayato!"
.
"Oh my god! We can walk on the water! How do you think that happened?"
"Maybe a special chemical mix? I haven't really paid enough attention; I was focusing on figuring out where to go next."
.
"Hayato! Don't jump down carelessly like that! There could have been one more crocodile waiting to take a bite out of you!"
"You have no problem in swimming with piranhas but you freak out about swimming with crocodiles?"
"What do you have against piranhas?!"
Hayato sighed.
.
"Is he seriously climbing over towards us with no cover?"
"Yeah."
Tsuna raised his gun and shot the black-and-red clad man down.
"You're savage."
"Hmph. Let's continue Hayato."
.
"Let's push that rock down and wreck the floor."
"On it."
.
"Fire, yay." Hayato grimaced.
"Fire, yay!" Tsuna clapped.
.
"I don't understand what you're doing."
"I don't either. I just flip those black and white pieces around and step on one of the plates."
.
"Hello, rope-swinging."
"That's your thing, isn't it?"
.
"This is the murder device. Look at it: blades running around the entryway and they snap towards the middle. We'll have to be careful."
"You're right, but that doesn't change the fact that the other one really was a murder device. Need I remind you that you almost lost a leg to it?"
.
"HIEEEEEEE!"
"Tsuna, fuck, calm down, let go of my hand! I can run by myself!"
"With those blades snapping up at our heels? Fuck no!"
.
"Did you hear that?" Tsuna looked around.
"It's that heavy thump again."
"HIEEEEEE!"
Hayato lined in shock. Tsuna had moved very quickly to latch onto the hand holds in the ceiling with his hands and feet. Hayato himself was draped across Tsuna's middle with his arms and feet dangling from Tsuna's sides.
"Is that a fucking BULL?!" Tsuna shrieked.
"Let me- "Hayato started, but was interrupted.
Tsuna hissed at him like an angry cat, eyes glowing orange.
Hayato sighed; they may be up for a while. Tsuna's body won't be thanking him afterwards.
.
As the two found themselves on board a railway wagon, Tsuna's body chose that moment to make it known how much Tsuna exhausted it.
"Ow." Tsuna curled up on the ground.
"That's what you get when you decide to hold yourself up on the ceiling with your hands and feet for thirty minutes straight, while also supporting the weight of a thirty-year old man with your abdomen." Hayato did not look the least bit sympathetic to Tsuna's plight, "Idiot."
.
"So long, bitches," said Hayato after he separated the rest of the wagons from the one he and Tsuna were in.
.
"GAH!" Tsuna jumped back into Hayato as a mummy popped out of a sarcophagus.
"Tsuna, it's fake."
.
"Why did you pick up that handle and that hook?"
"Uh, I had a feeling?"
.
"Was that a fucking actually moving armed skeleton coming our way that you just shot?!"
.
"Oh godohgodohgod they can jump as well!"
"Tsuna, keep calm."
"But I can't keep calm!"
.
"What is that thing? Is it harmful? Is it following us?"
"C'mon Hayato, follow me."
.
"Now, duck!"
"Wow, how did you know to do that?"
"Intuition, I guess."
.
"You freak out about the moving skeletons, but you have no problem with destroying any bone you find in your way via shotgun, just so that they may not rise later."
"I call that forethought."
"Right."
.
"Because, clearly, sliding down a very long wooden pole is too safe, they had to add gears with sharp edges to run across the edges of the room open for the pole."
"You'd have done worse, Tsuna."
"That is not the point here."
.
"As if mummies and skeletons were not enough, now we have to go against automatons?"
.
"Aaaaaand this one is on a horse."
.
"Wow, you can read ancient scrolls about music and use it as a guide to perform?"
"Why so snarky, Tsuna?"
.
"Did you just use the grenade gun on people?!"
"Yes."
"You've become even more savage, Tsuna. I had not thought that to be possible."
.
"Is that a shark?!"
"Tsuna…"
.
"It was actually flammable…"
"If we took a second longer, we'd have been set on fire."
.
"Look at us, using a wind-up mechanical scarab to trigger the traps so that we can safely pass across."
"I don't know, the scarab is cute."
.
"Hey… that statue does not look like me. You'd think the set-up is prepared to make a statue of the person who stands here. But it didn't do that."
"Maybe that's miss Croft? The statue certainly has her dark hair."
.
"Are you seriously going to sit there?"
"Yep. It's about time we get some rest."
"Great, now are you ready to face that?"
"Bring it."
"And now there are two of them."
.
"Get in the side-car, Hayato, and get your guns out."
"Why can't I drive?"
"Get. In. The. Side-car. Hayato."
.
"Do you hear that?"
"Yeah, let's back track and take to higher ground. And then we'll see what to do next."
.
"You think this will keep it contained?"
"Yeah. I think. Now let's get out of here."
.
"What is that?"
"I don't know, but whatever it is, it does resemble a dragon."
.
"Oh, wow, it shoots fire!"
"You don't have to sound so fascinated, Tsuna!"
.
"Are those fucking crocodiles?!"
"Would you fucking stop it with the crocodiles?!"
.
"Holy shit, oh my god, I can't believe we just came face to face with that!"
"Tsuna, do you have to provide commentary over everything?"
"Why, yes I do. You'd be bored otherwise."
"Oh, you be quiet."
.
"Machine guns, again?" Tsuna's eyes narrowed as he drew his shotgun, "We'll see about that."
Hayato rolled his eyes as he followed on Tsuna's heels.
.
"Why the fuck is there a bull here too?!"
.
Tsuna looked at the head of the creature, "That was one brave man." He wiped a tear from his eye.
"Tsuna, you bastard, you're just sad because you couldn't keep the creature."
.
"The ease with which you use explosive ammunition against people is astounding."
"Oh hush, Bomb-Expert-Hayato."
.
"Dig?"
"Dig."
.
"Ah, yes. The classical entrance-closes-after-we-walk-in-trapping-us-inside."
"I thought you were going to freak out about the two bulls."
"You could say that I have grown desensitized."
"Couldn't you have 'grown desensitized' earlier?"
.
"Oh, so you've grown desensitized to crocodiles now, too?"
"Less 'grown desensitized', more 'shoot 'em dead first'."
.
"Are we done yet?"
"Yeah, just about finished."
"Good; all those switches were boring me."
.
"Oh god, are those blades descending on us?"
"Yes, so move faster. Do you want to be drilled by them?"
.
"We're out!"
"Spoke too soon!"
"Goddamnit, what's with them and blade traps?!"
.
"Oh, great, there are giant scorpions too!"
"Kill them with fire!"
.
"We… are literally climbing a pyramid."
"This is it, the height of our accomplishments. Is that what you want to say?"
"Nah, it feels like a bad joke."
.
"Hello, swinging blades."
"This is it. I have now seen every type of blade trap. Nothing can surprise me anymore."
.
"Hey, look! We can kill the mummies now!" Tsuna cheered as he blew up one of the mummies around him.
Hayato deadpanned as he shot the other one.
.
"That is a big pyramid. You think we have to climb it?"
"Only one way to know. Let's go."
.
"There are rocks dropping down on us, too! Gah!"
"Less whining, more climbing."
"Yes, mother."
"Why, you-!"
.
"Hey, at least we didn't have to climb that big ass pyramid."
"What's with you? Now that we're here at the last part of our journey, you want to slack off?"
"Hnnghhh."
"Don't fall asleep! God, Tsuna!"
.
"Ah." Tsuna stopped as he and Hayato walked through the doorway leading into the pyramid.
Hayato stopped as well, and turned to look at Tsuna, "What is it?"
Tsuna stared around the two of them and huffed, "It's that feeling again."
Hayato raised an eyebrow, "The feeling you get when we're at the end of a specific adventure? So, this is really the last part of our adventure out here in Egypt."
"Yeah, brace yourself."
"I'm always bracing myself; otherwise my patience with some of your ridiculous antics would have run out ages ago."
"Ha. Ha. Ha. Let's just keep going."
.
"Here we go." Tsuna's eyes blazed orange, his hair seemed to sway in nonexistent wind (though Hayato knew that it was from the flow of Tsuna's flames).
Tsuna's eyes locked onto the statue in the middle of the blue beam and took out the armor pieces from his backpack, "C'mon, Hayato."
.
"What now?"
"Now we run."
.
The two stumbled in their run towards the exit as the ground underneath them shook. They regained their balance quickly and quickened their pace; the place was falling down around them and they had to leave. Immediately.
Tsuna let out a strangled sound, "Hayato-!"
The ground disappeared from underneath their feet, dropping them into an expanse of white light.
"God-fucking-damnit!" Hayato cursed, "Not again!"
The two plummeted down for what seemed like ages. They didn't scream; they were used to this drop at the end of their adventures after the second time it happened to them.
The two waited until they slowed in mid-air (or what felt like mid-air, it was hard to decide with nothing but an empty expanse of light around them), and they twisted their bodies so that they were no longer upside down.
And then they were dropped out of the light into chairs.
They felt physically well-rested, even though they were mentally still running through a shaking pyramid. Their eyes darted around as they observed their new surroundings.
The two were sitting in a balcony in an opera house; there was an opera singer performing.
Tsuna and Hayato were dressed in dark blue dresses- strapless, backless, with slits going up the sides, dark blue dresses, paired with a pair of long gloves and heels.
Tsuna crossed his legs as he leaned back in his seat, "Wow, such a revolutionary jump."
"Shut up. Just moments ago I was in Sands Everywhere, Egypt. Let me enjoy the opera in peace."
.
End chapter 1