Chapter 1 - The Manhattan Project

Lena was five-years-old the first time she went to see the magic show with her father, Lionel. She had only been with the Luthors for less than a year at the time. Lillian had been…stern. Stern was a good term. When Lena did well at learning something new, like French, or her fractions and decimals, or especially when she did well in chess, Lillian would give her a nod. That nod was the closest to approval Lena would get from her new mother. It let the little girl know she was on the right path and also that there was room for improvement.

Lex was very warm and welcoming, but he was older and had his own things to do. Lena adored spending time with him. He was happy to be with his new sister, but as soon as their mother saw them bonding her face darkened. She seemed to always find a task for one of them to do. Chess was the exception. They could play chess together, so Lena played with gusto.

Lionel, her father, he was a joy when he was home. He was as warm and close as Lillian was cold and distant. It was almost as if he could see the storm brewing between Lillian and Lena and he meant to dissipate it with his presence. On one such weekend home, he announced he was taking Lena to a magic show. Lena's eyes lit up at the word magic. Lillian had a few choice words for her husband about lying to children and Luthors not being fools. Lena was soon ushered away from the discussion.

The next morning, dressed in a lovely green velvet dress, patent leather shoes with a bright silver buckle, and a warm black wool coat, little Lena Luthor excitedly entered the hall holding onto her father's hand. The ceiling was huge and slightly curved with brightly painted figures adorning it. It was a marvel like so much that she'd seen in her new life. They were lead down to seats in the front row center. The stage lights were bright even in front of the red velvet curtain. Sounds from people all around them pressed in on the little girl, and she looked about nervously.

"Are you all right, darling?" Lionel asked, his brown eyes kind under his slightly bushy eyebrows.

Lena nodded, green eyes popping brightly with the lights. "This is exciting, isn't it? Will we see some real magic today, Father?"

Lionel smiled, loving every moment of his time with her. The way she looked, her smile, so much like her mother though he could never say that. No, that would be civil war at home. He was happy just to have rescued her and have his daughter. He was only sad to have lost her mother.

Instead of saying anything of that ilk, he gently tussled his daughter's hair and said, "What do you think my little one?"

A very serious look crossed Lena's face as she bit at her lower lip. "Well, Mother, says that there isn't any magic, that it's all trickery. She says fools believe in magic and that Luthors aren't fools."

Lionel sighed, not surprised his wife was managing to ruin a day even when she wasn't present. She might have been an appropriate match, but that didn't make her a pleasant one.

"And what does Lena say?" Lionel asked.

"Wait, wait, wait," Lena said, waggling a finger in her father's face. "I'm not done telling you what Mother says yet."

"Oh." Lionel laughed at that little touch of Lillian, though there was no humor in his laugh. In only seven months, Lillian was already infecting the child. Lionel promised himself to spend more time with Lena. Lex might be a lost cause, but he wasn't giving up on this child.

"Please do go on Miss Luthor. I can't wait to hear this."

"Well, um…Mother says that scientists should, um, keep an open mind. Mother is a doctor you know, and, um, she makes sure I learn my, um, math and science. My tutor…say I'm a good little scientist."

Lionel waited, but when it seemed like Lena might be done with Lillian's bits of wisdom he asked, "So…?"

"So, I, um, I want to keep open mind. I do not want to be a fool, but I, um, do want to be a scientist." Lena nodded to herself as if that were that. "I will keep an open mind…for now. Plus, I, um, I think magicians saw ladies in half. I think doctors do that and Mother's a doctor."

At that Lionel did laugh, putting his arm around his daughter and pulling her into him for a one-armed hug. "Oh, I'm fairly certain there are a few ladies that your mother would have liked to have sawed in half. You got that right you clever girl."

The duo chatted for the next twenty minutes or so until the house lights dimmed. When the magic show started, Lena sat very attentively. Lionel watched her from time to time, wondering if he'd see a look of awe or skepticism, but he just saw rapt attention. He'd take that from his young scientist. When the show was done, he carried his daughter out in his arm, watching her face curiously.

"A penny for your thoughts," Lionel said.

Lena held out her hand and said, "Give here."

"I…" He patted at his pocket, smiling slowly. "Can you break a twenty, darling?"

She shook her head. "You can owe me, Father."

That got another laugh. "I promise you that I'm good for it. So tell me, what's on your mind, my little capitalist?"

"What's a capitals?"

"A capitalist is someone who uses their wealth to invest and trade, to build on that wealth and…" Lionel saw the growing look of confusion on his daughter's face and said, "Someone who's very good with money, like me, the CEO of Luthor Corp. A good CEO is a capitalist."

"Am I a good CEO, Father?" Lena asked, pronouncing each letter in CEO slowly.

Eyebrowsshooting up, Lionel said, "Well…uh…if you want to be a good capitalist and earn your pennies, tell me what's on your mind."

Biting her lip again, Lena looked thoughtful before admitting, "I'm trying to decide if magic is real or not."

"Well, did it look real?"

"It did," Lena replied a bit breathily, dropping her head to her father's shoulder.

"Then why do you question it?"

The little girl lifted her head again and met her father head on as she peered at him with intense little green eyes. "Because Mother, she um, she says that scientists question everything."

Nodding, Lionel replied, "Then scientists should question what Mother tells them."

Lena's eyes widened.

With a growing smile, Lionel added, "You don't have to tell her that I said that."

"I won't," Lena whispered. Once again, the little girl worried away at her lower lip.

"Hey there, that biting of your lip is quite a habit, isn't it? Tell me what's on your mind, darling. I'll give you a whole handful of pennies when we get home. I promise."

Lena nodded. "Father, is believing in magic wrong?"

Lines appeared across Lionel's face as his smile grew. "Darling girl, if you want to be a scientist, then you need to learn that in order to create you first need to conceive. The first part of conception is belief. Lena, we can't make anything we haven't first imagined." Tickling her belly, he added. "Well, except by accident, and sometimes those are the best surprises."

Lena laughed while his fingers danced across the fabric of her velvet dress.

"So now, what do you want, darling. Do you want to pull back the curtain and look behind it, or do you want to enjoy the illusion? Do you want to believe in magic, Lena?"

"Lena, Lena, Lena?"

A hand shook Lena's shoulder, pulling her from her dream and memories of the past. She blinked sleep and pleasant memories of her father from her eyes. Odd, she thought of him differently in the dream now, seeing him as someone who saw her mother when he looked at her. She knew she'd never see him the same now; she'd never remember her childhood without the lens of truth knowing she was actually Lionel Luthor's birth child.

"Hmmm?" Pushing herself upright, Lena stared into bright blue eyes and a familiar face. "What are you…? Where am…?"

Her hand on the silver lab table as she pushed herself up, Lena realized she'd fallen asleep in one of the R&D labs at L-Corp. It wasn't the first time in the last few weeks. It was par for the course of late. She'd work a twelve hour day, no lunch, come down here and work for at least another six, fall asleep. Then she'd go upstairs and grab a shower and change. On the weekend she'd go home long enough to grab some horizontal sleep, sometimes in her actual bed, and get new clothes so she could do it all again. She had a city to rebuild after the Daxam invasion and a pet project to work on. All of this was why she'd been avoiding a certain blonde reporter who was currently standing in front of her in her R&D lab.

"How the hell did you get in here!?" Lena asked in one of her least pleasant voices which was pretty damn unpleasant since she was Lena Luthor.

"I…" Kara took a step back, shocked by the apparent hostility. "You haven't returned any of my calls or texts."

Face impassive, Lena said, "That does not answer my question."

Kara slapped the badge on the table. "I borrowed it from Jess. She's worried about you. When was the last time you slept in your own bed or ate properly…or showered?"

"Damn disloyalty," Lena said, snatching the badge off the table. "I'm going to fire that girl. She's much too well paid to be giving out top level clearance security badges to just anyone. Why of all the—"

"No, you're not. You're barely functioning right now, and you couldn't function at all without Jess. Anyway, I'm not just anyone this is me, Kara. I'm your friend. Jess let me borrow the badge because she's really worried about you. Lena, you're not taking care of yourself. Jess says that you're living here at work. She says she can't ply you to eat most days. There are clothes hanging in your bathroom and…" Kara slid her glasses back then paused, dropping her hands again. "She's really, really worried, Lena. She's never seen you like this which is why she finally called me. What's so important that you've been spending all your—?"

Suddenly, Lena snapped the laptop closed, stopping Kara from prying further into the contents of the screen. Kara's brows pressed together as curiosity played across her face. She'd seen 'Pb', the symbol for lead. There was some sort of formula that Kara had no time to recognize let alone understand. She saw the term 'chelation therapy' which she also didn't recognize. Then Lena was snapping it shut, and Kara was just glad she had quick reflexes because her hand had been on the base of the laptop. She wouldn't have been hurt, but the laptop would have broken if the screen had struck her hand.

"It's private!" Lena grumbled, rubbing at her face with both hands, then exhaling in a way that made her whole body shudder and deflate. When she spoke again, her voice was softer, much more like Lena. "It's not ready anyway, nowhere near ready. I'm just chasing my tail right now. It feels like a fecking waste of time but…I broke it, and I can fix it."

"You broke what?" Kara asked, reaching out a hand but pulling it back, unsure the contact would be welcome.

"Everything," Lena admitted, not looking at her friend but instead dropping her hands to the table and staring at them with despair. "I broke…everything."

"I…I don't understand."

Lena's head snapped around, green eyes practically glowing with intensity within the dark rings of nights lost to sleeplessness inspired by guilt. "You've been outside, Kara. Just look around. Everything, every last brick out of place, tree uprooted, person in the hospital, life lost…" For a moment Lena closed her eyes as she drew in a breath, her lower lip trembling slightly. She opened her eyes and spoke, but her voice wasn't much above a whisper. "Every love sent to space, never to return. That was me. I did that. I broke everything. Do you know why?"

Kara shook her head, but she wasn't saying no. She was telling Lena to stop. She was telling Lena this wasn't her, wasn't her fault, that her friend didn't break everything. Kara wanted to pull Lena into a hug as she did so many times before, but the woman looked to be made of glass right now. Kara didn't know what Lena's shattering point was, but it looked close.

"I'm a Luthor," Lena said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I drink like my father and smile his charming smile, running his business efficiently and creatively. Then, in one swift action, I've done more to prove right the hatred and xenophobia of aliens of my insane brother and my vitriol spewing mother than they did with their whole lives. I have done, in my short life, the one thing I battled furiously against ever doing. I have proven not just to be a Luthor, but to be the most Luthor of them all. I spent twenty-four years not knowing who I was, but as soon as I knew I grabbed hold of my legacy and exceeded all expectations. Oh, people were right not to trust me. I betrayed this city. I betrayed the world. I betrayed the one person who dared to trust me and call me friend. If that isn't the very definition of a Luthor, then I don't know what is."

Kara reached out, laying a hand on Lena's arm and trying to keep her voice from cracking when her friend immediately jerked her arm away from the offered comfort. "Lena, none of this is your fault."

The sound Lena made was almost a laugh and yet as far from one as one could be. "My fault and my responsibility. I'll walk you out."

As Lena shoved her laptop into a case, Kara tried to talk to her friend. "Lena, can't we just…Hey, I just want to…Lena, I know you're upset but…" As Lena turned away from her for the third time, Kara grabbed her friend's arm and turned her back with a bit of force. "Enough! Why are you punishing me? I haven't done anything wrong."

"I'm not punishing you."

"Oh, yes you are. Everyone else in my life has each other. I feel so alone, Lena, and I need my best friend. Why are you ignoring me? Why are you pushing me away? I know you're upset. We're all upset. When things go wrong, friends don't push away they pull in. I'm pulling in, Lena. Come here."

As Kara tried to pull her closer, Lena struggled and pushed away from the blonde. "I'm not your friend."

"Wh…what?"

"A friend would never have done to you what I did to you, Kara. I thought because I knew Supergirl because she'd been nice to me, that I'd been wrong about all aliens. I was overzealous and didn't look at the possible consequences. I was like the creators of the Atomic Bomb. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should."

"Lena, you didn't make a bomb. You made a portal so that you could end hunger and poverty. You're nothing like—"

"They ended a war!" Lena stared, nostrils flaring as the tendons in her neck stood out. "In Hiroshima perhaps 80,000 people were killed and then, three days later, in Nagasaki another 100,000 people were killed. Do you know a blind girl 120 miles away from the Atomic Bomb saw the flash?" Lena waited until Kara shook her head to continue. "Scientists, we make our places in history whether we enjoy them or not. Rabi, Oppenheimer, and Bainbridge all worked on the Manhattan Project. Rabi, after the bomb was released, he felt the equilibrium in nature had been upset as if humankind had become a threat to the world it inherited. Bainbridge, who was the test director, he said, 'Now we're all sons of bitches.' Even Oppenheimer who was thrilled with the project's success quoted Bhagavad Gita in saying, 'I am become Death the destroyer of worlds.' Kara, I destroyed National City, and destroyed your world."

"I'm still your friend," Kara said quietly. "I don't hate you."

Pulling her bag over her shoulder, Lena replied, "Well, that makes one of us. Look, Kara, you've always been the most amazing friend to me. You've been sweet, welcoming, honest, trustworthy, completely like no one else I've ever known. I thought you were a blessing in my life, but it turns out I was a curse in yours. I always felt like I didn't deserve you, and now it makes sense. I want to fix things but…"

Kara nodded, reaching out and slowly, carefully, placing her hand on Lena's arm, heartened when the other woman didn't pull away. "Let's fix things. What can we do?"

"Not we, me. I'm doing what I can, but I don't know if I'll have time."

"I don't understand."

"Of course you don't. Let me walk you out," Lena said heading toward the door. She kept moving, out the lab doorway and toward the main entrance/exit of L-Corp. "You know, the families of our soldiers who came home after World War II were very happy to see them."

"I'm sure they were," Kara said catching up to Lena. "Is this about the Atomic Bomb again?"

"It did its job. It saved lives. It cost lives. Soon everyone had to have one. It was good. It was evil. How many times over can we destroy the world now?"

"Once is too much," Kara said, trying not to remember what it looked like to see your world break apart in front of your eyes.

"That portal could have been used to help millions, but now they're an excuse. It can't be allowed to fall into the wrong hands."

Stepping in front of Lena, Kara asked, "What are you talking about?"

"We're in a legal battle with the government, and we're going to lose. It's just a stall technique. We'll lose, and they'll seize the portal, the land it's on, all of the documentation, schematics, formulas, everything needed to make it work. The U.S. government could feed the world, but instead, they'll have the ability to move their troops anywhere in the world nearly instantly. The portal will be a staging ground for military actions all across the globe. National City will be done. Then we'll start exploring space."

"You didn't copyright it, protect it, trademark in some way?" Kara felt her panic rising at the thought of what Lena was saying.

"Of course I did. It is L-Corp technology, and that won't matter. We're going to lose. They'll take the portal, and then they'll come here to seize everything else. That's when it will get ugly." Lena scrubbed at her face with one hand, then running it through her hair.

"Worse? It's going to get worse?"

"There isn't anything else. I destroyed all documentation and electronic copies as soon as the portal was closed. I knew they'd come after the technology. I need the portal, so I can't destroy that, but the rest of it had to go."

As Lena walked by her, Kara shook her head in confusion. Hurrying after the other woman, she caught up to Lena outside and asked, "Wait, so the government can or cannot use the portal without the documentation?"

"They cannot. They won't even recognize some of the elements in it let alone how to use it. Maybe, eventually, enough scientists working together will figure it out. It will take years, years and years. Maybe Supergirl will just smash the damn thing before then. Maybe we'll get new visitors, and it won't matter. I don't care. I just need to make sure the government doesn't get access to the only data source on how to use the portal anytime soon."

"Wait, wait, wait," Kara said, grabbing Lena's arm when the woman tried to walk away. "You just said you destroyed all of the data. Which is it?"

"No, I said I destroyed all documents and electronic copies. There is one copy left, one data source." Lena in slightly, Lena tapped at her head with one finger. "I need to finish up what I have to do at L-Corp before my lawyers lose their legal battle. Once people find out, there is no other copy…" Arms outstretched, Lena started to walk backward away from Kara.

"What's going to happen to you?"

"I don't intend to stay around to find out."

"Lena, I can help you. I can protect you." When Lena kept walking, Kara just grew louder. "I promised I'd always protect you! You're the best friend I've ever had."

Turning and mumbling, her voice not much over a whisper, Lena replied, "Then that's a sad fucking commentary on your life."

Kara's shoulders fell. When you're Supergirl, a mumble might as well be a shout. She watched her best friend walk away. She'd lost her world once. A month ago, it felt like it had broken again. Now, she saw it crumbling once more. For the Girl of Steel, she was starting to get used to feeling powerless.

Lena was tired enough she wished she'd either called her driver or just gone to sleep in her office. She wanted to chase Kara off though. Seeing the blonde had jumbled up her emotions. Guilt, so much guilt, but also a desire to seek comfort. Knowing Kara was hurting and wanted comfort, that was worse. Lena wanted to help, but being in Kara's life was what had caused the hurt. The best thing Lena could do was fix what she could and then get as far away as possible. Tokyo might be nice. She like sake.

In the parking garage, Lena yawned and fumbled for the keys in her purse. Her hands found the bottle of Five Hour Energy, and she considered drinking it. They'd made up about half her meal plan of late. She wondered if she'd need it to stay awake for the drive home, bust decided an open window and blasting radio would do her without her being wired by the time she got there. Instead, she kept searching, head down until her hand closed around the keys.

Suddenly, Lena felt the cold metal of the knife against her throat, her pulse quickening. She was tired. No, she was fucking exhausted. She'd passed tired about three weeks ago and plain old exhausted at least two weeks ago. Now she was in that area where she could keep her legs moving forward enough to survive so long as nothing catastrophic happened. Someone with a knife to her throat counted as a catastrophe.

She didn't move for several moments, and neither did the person behind her. After close to a minute she asked, "Business or pleasure?"

There was a grunt half-laugh, and then an obviously male voice said, "Oh, yeah. I can see the resemblance now."

Lifting one brow, Lena sighed. That sounded like a reference to family. Well…fuck. "I don't suppose you're a hired gun who'd be interested in being bought off, are you? Whatever you're being paid, I can guarantee I have more money. I'm by far the richest Luthor."

"Yeah?"

"Truly."

"Hmmm." The man seemed to consider for a moment before saying, "Nah, she'd kill me."

"My moth—?" As Lena lifted her head in surprise, the man grabbed the back of her neck with his free hand and pressed the knife to her throat. "Not moving, I can do not moving. My mother sent you? I'm confused. My mother saved my life last month. What does she want?"

"You."

"She could have sent a car."

There was the sound of a racing engine, and then the squeal of tires as a car sped up alongside them and came to a sudden stop.

"Oh, she did," Lena said. "Though we aren't on the best of terms, I would have met with her if she'd asked. I do owe her my life. You don't need the knife. I'll go with you."

"It's not that kind of invitation," the man with the knife to Lena's throat replied.

"What kind of invitation is it?"

The driver got out of the car, walking up to Lena and pointing a Taser at her. The man with the knife stepped away, breaking contact with Lena.

"Oh, it's the kind where I ride in the trunk. What the hell is my mother up—?" As 50,000 volts hit her, Lena's whole body tensed and then she blacked out.

Head down, Kara walked along the streets of National City. Tears were running freely along her face. She knew Lena was avoiding her but expected that once Lena saw she wasn't angry that things would be okay with them. Kara was expecting guilt. That made sense even though Lena had just been trying to make a better world and had been taken in my Rhea. No, Lena was a victim. Rhea was so unwilling to let her son be happy with a Kryptonian that Rhea had killed Mon-El's father, tried to kill Kara, and now was chasing Lena to who knows where. Even dead, Rhea wasn't done destroying things. Rhea's legacy was despair.

"Stop! Stop him!"

Kara looked up to see the man running her way. He was carrying a purse that clearly didn't go with his outfit and being chased by another man who was yelling after him. Hands in her pockets, Kara sighed. She was not in the mood to get her Super on right now. She had made official plans with a tub of ice cream for as soon as she got home and a purse snatcher was not going to cause her to stand up either Ben or Jerry. Right now, they were the only men in her life and the only ones likely to be there for the foreseeable future.

Kara kept walking until the purse snatcher was just about to run by her. Suddenly, she snapped out her left arm, clotheslining the guy. Shi upper half stopped immediately, and his legs continued forward in a very cartoonish fashion. He fell like a brick, the air rushing out of him with gusto. Kara placed a foot on the man's chest while he lay there moaning.

Panting, the man who was chasing him ran up to them and said, "Hey…thanks, I…appreciate that. That's my…girlfriend's…purse."

"Figured," Kara said grabbing the purse and handing it to the guy. "You want to call the cops to pick this guy up?"

The boyfriend nodded. "Soon as I…catch…my breath."

"Right." With a sigh, Kara said, "I'll just um…I'll just stand on this guy, I guess. Whatever. Perfect night."

It was nearly an hour later before Kara got home. She'd tried to skip out right as the cops got there, but was forced to give her statement. Alex was going to flip out about that. Kara had said she'd tripped the guy, but still, Alex would flip out. It would get back to Maggie, and by this time tomorrow, Alex would know, and Kara would know about it. This guy wasn't exactly a high priority crime. Kara should have just let him go. Kara Danvers couldn't be associated with crime-stopping in any way.

Kara closed her apartment door, dropping the keys in the dish on the table. She hung up her purse and her coat, sighing loudly. All she wanted was some ice cream and some Netflix. Anything else that got in her way was going to get some Kryptonian heat vision at this point.

"You're late."

Kara jumped, shocked when someone spoke from her couch. When a strange man stood up, turning to look at her, she leaned forward with confusion. "Who are you and what are you doing in my apartment?"

"Oh, I'm no one important. I'm just the delivery man. From all the take-out containers in your trash, I can tell you love delivery."

Anger flaring, Kara's hands balled into fists as she strode across the apartment at the man. "You picked the wrong apartment on the wrong night to break in, buddy."

"Hmmm. She told me you were dangerous, volatile even. She said to remain calm and approach you with extreme caution. Then, she said to use the resources we were given and not expect anything else to be able to disable you. Odd. You don't look like anything special."

"She? Who is she?" Kara asked.

Suddenly there was a sharp pain in her neck and weakness flooded her system. Instantly she knew it was Kryptonite. Nothing else felt like that. Nothing else made her feel so…just feel so. Kara clamped a hand to the dart in her neck as she spun, seeing a man in an odd body suit in her kitchen, a handgun with scope in his hand. Her legs collapsed underneath her even before she could pull the dart out.

Staring down at Kara, the man from the couch gave her a crooked smile and said, "That's a surprise, love."

Then everything went black.