A/N: I don't own Fire Emblem. With that said, I know it's kind of late to be writing about Fire Emblem: Awakening, but I've had the idea for this parody for the longest time, but kept delaying writing it because I was busy with other things. But, I wanted to write it, and I guess late is better than never, so...
Anyway, I'm skipping the intro chapter with the fight with Validar. We're starting with 'The Verge of History.'
"Well, just don't stand there," a female voice said. "Do something."
"Well, what do you suppose we do?" a male voice answered.
"I… I dunno," the female voice answered.
The man lying on the ground opened his eyes.
"I see you're awake now," the man said. He was tall and had dark blue hair and eyes.
"Hey there," the girl said cordially, who had blonde curls and was wearing a yellow dress.
"There're better places to take a nap than on the ground, you know," the man said. He then offered the man lying on the ground his hand, which the man took and helped him stand.
"Are you all right?" the blue-haired man asked.
"Yes… Thank you, Chrom," the man who had been lying on the ground answered. He looked around and saw that he was in a field somewhere.
"Oh, then you know who I am?" Chrom asked, surprised.
"No, actually, I… It's strange… Your name, it just…came to me…" the man answered.
"Hmm, how curious. Tell me, what's your name? What brings you here?" Chrom asked.
"My name is… It's… Hmm?" the man answered.
"You don't remember your own name?" Chrom asked.
"I'm not sure if… I'm sorry, but where am I, exactly?" the man asked.
"Hey, I've heard of this! It's called amnesia," the girl said. "Huh, it's just like the plot of a game I liked- it was called Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time."
"It's called a load of pegasus dung," a third man said, who had dark brown hair and was covered in armor. He was probably a knight.
"Hey!" the girl said. "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time was actually pretty good, I'll let you know."
"What- no, milady," the knight answered. "I didn't mean the game- though I've never played it myself, but what I meant his story here is pegasus dung. We're to believe that he remembers milord's name but not his own?"
"Well, it's the truth," the man said with a confused look on his face. "By the way, what is the plot of this game that you're mentioning?"
"Oh, it's pretty cool," the girl said. "See, what happens is that you get to choose an avatar Pokemon and you wake up on a beach with no memory of who you are- and it turns out that you're actually a time traveler and there's loads of time traveling for that matter, and the future is this post-apocalyptic world from where you came back to stop events from turning out like they did. But at the end of the game, in order to save the world, it means sacrificing yourself, and you die or really just disappear, but since you have a good bond with your friend, you get to come back at the end!"
"That's quite a story," the man said. "I hope things won't turn out anything like that."
"But, what if it is true?" Chrom asked.
"You mean you think something like that'll happen?" the girl asked.
"What- no! I mean, what if this man here really doesn't remember anything?" Chrom asked. "What then Fredrick?"
"Well, still, it is safe to be wary," Fredrick said. "It wouldn't do to let a wolf into the flock after all."
"Come on," Chrom said. "Let's get to town- we can sort out things there. But I apologize, we haven't even introduced ourselves here. That delicate one over there is Lissa, my sister."
"I am not delicate," Lissa said. The man had to think that Chrom actually kind of had a point in describing her like that.
"And you must already know Fredrickson the Wary," Chrom said.
"I believe I have already asked you several times not to call me Fredrickson," Fredrick said. "And honestly- am I the only one here with a tad bit of sense? Some random man carrying a sword and a tome has appeared in front of us, with some sort of weird mark on his hand and no one here is bothered to treat this with a little bit of caution?"
"Well, I have amnesia, but even I kind of agree with him," the man said. "Oh! And I remember now, my name is Robin! Could you perhaps tell me where I am?"
"Ylisse," Chrom said.
"And where is that?" Robin asked.
"Ha! Someone pay this actor, he plays quite the fool," Fredrick said.
"I charge one gold piece per word, and two for every word longer than three syllables, if you're wondering," Robin said sarcastically. "And seriously though, it feels like my entire mind's been wiped clean."
"Oh, well, we're a halidom," Chrom said.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Robin asked.
"I dunno," Chrom said. "Who cares anyway? Anyway, our leader is the Exalt Emmeryn, and all of us here are Shepherds."
Robin had a feeling that the word 'Shepherds' didn't exactly mean just tending sheep and was a title that mean something else, but he kept quiet until he saw smoke rising towards the horizon from a town in the distance.
"Brigands!" Chrom shouted and they ran towards the town.
There were several men wearing animal furs and weird skull caps terrorizing the villagers, taking gold, and burning down everything else.
"This'll be the last time they terrorize anyone," Chrom said with venom in his voice. "Robin, you seem to have weapons by your side- but if you want to sit this one out, I won't blame you. This is our job."
"No, no, I want to help," Robin said. "And it's weird- being in combat like this- it seems to be triggering something that I know about. It's odd, like I can see the flow of battle or something like that."
"Oh," Chrom said. "Well then, if you believe yourself to be able, then let's finish these bandits!"
Time for the support conversation for this chapter.
Robin x Lissa
Lissa: Hey, no matter how much Chrom says I'm delicate, just know that I'm pretty good at healing. I'll patch you up in no time. Oh, you're hurt? Let me take a look at that.
Robin: Oh geez, thanks. Hey… this is a weird time to ask I guess… but it's about your brother… is, is… is Chrom gay?
Lissa (shocked): Eh? What do you mean?
Robin: Like, it's just this vibe I'm getting from him. I- I mean…
Lissa: No, actually, you're right. Chrom is gay- I mean, but y'know, it's just one of those things that pretty much everyone knows but doesn't say out loud. But why were you so curious, huh? *smirks* Taken a liking for him or something?
Robin (blushing): What? No, of course not. I mean, I'm not gay- not that there's anything wrong with that, y'know, but I kind of suspected it but didn't want to say anything…
Lissa: Aww, it's alright. I'm sure he'll come out of the closet at one time or the other. But hey, you know, are parents were killed off when we were young…
Robin: Oh, I'm so sorry.
Lissa: So you know, Chrom's pretty rich, upholds the law and is good at martial arts…
Robin: I see where this is going… come on, Lissa, don't make that joke!
Lissa: So if he became Batman, the two of you could be… Batman and Robin!
Robin: (sigh) Let's just get back to the battlefield.
Lissa and Robin have reached support level C!
The brigands were taken care of pretty easily.
"The town though…" Chrom said, looking around at the various buildings. "It's in ruins…"
"Thank you though, sire," a villager piped up. "We may not be rich folk, but to thank you, please let us host a feast in your honor."
"That would be nice, but we must get going," Fredrick said.
"Aww! A bed would be nice," Lissa said.
"A bed?" Fredrick snorted. "We'll camp on hard ground like real men! Milady, you're talking like one of those people who play this game on Casual mode…"
"What's wrong in playing this game on Casual mode?" Lissa asked.
Chrom, Fredrick, and Robin gasped.
"You turned permadeath off?" Robin asked. "That's Fire Emblem heresy right there! Everyone knows it isn't a real Fire Emblem game without permadeath!"
"Hey," Lissa said defensively. "Just because I play on Normal and Casual doesn't mean I don't enjoy the game as much as you- I play it more for the story and stuff, y'know. How do you play for that matter?"
"Me?" Fredrick asked. "I play Ricken solos on Lunatic+ mode all the time with no DLC!"
"Okay, guys," Robin said. "But if we're leaving, I think we should be off soon."
"We?" Chrom asked.
"Yeah, I mean, I'd love to join you guys, and given that I have nothing else, well, if you'd have me?" Robin asked.
"Certainly," Chrom said. "You've risked your life to save Ylisseans, and that's enough for me."
"Perhaps he can also come up with an explanation regarding why he's here then?" Fredrick asked.
"Uh…" Robin said.
"Well, I suppose it matters not," Fredrick said. "Best be off quickly as possible and march towards our destination. We need to reach the capital quickly."
"Aww, do we really have to march right now?" Lissa asked. "My feet are killing me!"
"Milady, I'm afraid that that is an impossibility," Fredrick said.
"Huh? Why?" Lissa asked.
"Because none of us have feet," Fredrick said.
A/N: Thanks for reading. This first chapter didn't turn out much different from the actual dialogue, but that was because nothing very interesting happens and we don't have enough characters yet. And yes, I am well aware that there are no support conversations this early on in the game, but I wanted to have one, so there!
Do please leave a review on what you thought.