Author's Note: I realize I should be working on my other stories, but I have lost my muse. So here is another completely random oneshot. Please review so I know what you think. I hate asking this when no one ever reviews anyway. It hurts my nonexistent feelings.
Edited: 25 February 2012
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own anything Harry Potter related. If I had written Harry Potter, it probably would've sucked.
Sirius Black blinked his eyes as the bright light that had once surrounded him began to dim. He repeated the action when he realized he was suddenly standing in what looked to me a waiting room.
How the hell did I end up here? he asked mentally, confusion written all over his face. The last thing he remembered was…
What was the last thing he remembered?
He recalled lounging around Grimmauld Place 12 when… the Order… received news… the Ministry… Harry…
"Harry!" Sirius blurted out in realization.
He remembered going to the Ministry to save Harry from the Death Eaters that were after the Prophecy! He had been dueling his cousin, Bella, when she shot that curse at him and he fell through the Veil.
The Veil… So he was dead then?
"But… I promised Harry…"
"No need to worry about Harry, Padfoot. He'll be fine, I know it. He is my son, after all." Sirius' head snapped up at the very familiar voice. "Oi, Padfoot! You're so old!"
"If you think I'm old, you should see Moony," Sirius replied automatically before finally registering the person sitting in one of the waiting room chairs. "…James…" he muttered in disbelief.
"The one and only. Although, I have to admit, I expected more of a, "Wow Prongs! You sure are looking good after being gone for so long!" from you. Of course, it's only been about twenty minutes for me, but I imagine it must have been closer to ten to fifteen years for you…" James responded off-handedly. "But you really do look old."
"Well, excuse me. Not all of us are lucky enough to die at a young age while we're still hot," Sirius retorted sarcastically.
"I hardly think dying by Voldemort's Killing Curse on Halloween can really be considered as lucky, Padfoot."
"Prongs, don't complain about your death. At least there's a cool story about your death to be passed on to your grandchildren. I mean, not everyone can say that Voldemort saw them as enough of a threat that he actually killed them himself. I, on the other hand, was killed after dueling his psychotic lackey that also just so happened to be my cousin, who may or may not have been having an affair with the nearly soulless snake man, which resulted in my falling through a curtain to my death. Yeah, I'd say you're death was pretty good," Sirius ranted.
"I'd rather have your peaceful death by curtain than a death by a "nearly soulless snake man". Besides, Halloween is supposed to be a time when little children are finally allowed to accept candy from strangers, not when creepy old men come to people's home in order to kill a one year old infant!" James paused thoughtfully, "Well, not usually."
"Can't we just all agree that all of our deaths sucked?" asked a new voice.
"Moony!" Both Sirius and James stood to greet their old friend.
"Hello Prongs, Padfoot. Long time no see."
"Moony, I've only been dead for about five minutes! Did you really miss me that much that you had to off yourself so soon?" Sirius joked to which Remus Lupin, also known as Moony, snorted quietly.
"Don't get ahead of yourself, Padfoot. I don't know why you seem to think you've only been dead for five minutes, but to me it's been about two years. In fact, I've spent these last two years wisely and even had a child," Remus stated matter-of-factly.
"How could you, Moony! I thought we had something special! How could you just move on so soon?" Sirius mock-cried.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Back-up! You had a kid, Moony? Whatever happened to your whole aversion to the possibly 'baby wolf' thing you had going on?" James asked, face full of surprise.
"Well, Tonks was…very persuasive."
"Okay, mate, I really don't want to hear this stuff about my cousin. That's just wrong, man." Sirius, who had already covered his ears to avoid hearing the rest of Remus' statement, started singing loudly to drown out any other noise. If you could even call it 'singing'.
"Padfoot!" Remus snapped, "I get it! Just stop singing!"
"Lighten up, Moony! Aren't you glad we're all finally reunited? I mean, I've been waiting for this for a pretty long time." Sirius grinned at his old friends, running a hand through his hair.
"I'd be even happier if I knew where we were," replied Remus, who gazed around the waiting room with a raised eyebrow.
"Huh… You're right. Hey Prongs, where are we, exactly. I mean, I'm no expert, but this is far from my idea of what Heaven would be like. I expected more… I don't know, singing babies, flying naked people, laughter, beautiful women, the usual. I never would have imagined we would have to sit in a dull waiting room for the rest of eternity."
"Geez, Padfoot. It took you awhile to ask that. This here is just what it looks like: a waiting room. But, you know, for dead people. It lets spirits that died leaving people behind wait for them here before moving on. Even better, time moves in a way that allows years to pass out there, while only minutes have passed in here. Like I said, I feel like I've only been dead for about half an hour. Pretty neat stuff, I must say."
"Well, where's Lily?"
"She left already, Moony. Now I think we should go. I miss my Lily-flower," James said, gesturing to a hall opposite them that the other two were pretty sure was not there prior to their conversation.
Shrugging, Remus and Sirius stepped forward, James walking in step with them down the hall.
"So how is Harry, anyway?" James asked as they walked off.
"I don't how to tell you this, but I think he should be facing Voldemort right about now. Or, with this messed up time system, he's probably married to Ginny Weasley already," Remus answered casually.
"A Weasley? Just like his old man. Gotta love the redheads," James mused.
"The Weasley girl?" Siruis asked in surprise, "I half expected him to choose that Hermione Granger... A feisty one, that girl. She helped save my life, you know. Actually, now that I think about it, she's the one that did most of the saving. If it weren't for the dementors coming after me, it would have been as if Harry was merely tagging along for the ride."
"Granger? Is she a muggle-born? I don't think I've heard of the Grangers before."
"Yes, she is a muggleborn. Brightest witch of her year, too. Would've been a shoe-in for Head Girl had she not skipped her seventh year to help Harry on his Horcrux search to kill Old Voldie."
"Just like my Lily-kins! Hmm... I wouldn't mind which girl he chooses. They're both like one half of my wonderful Lily. I'm sure either of them would be great for continuing the Potter family line."
"What about your son, Moony? What'd you name him? I hope you named him after your best mate here. Sirius Lupin…" Sirius scrunched his face in disdain at the thought, "Maybe not. That's just horrible. I don't know why I even thought of it."
"Well then, I guess it's a good thing Dora and I never even considered that name, Padfoot. We named him Teddy."
"Teddy Lupin? I've got to admit, it has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" James said with a chuckle.
"I would hope so. He'll have to live with the name for the rest of his life."
"I guess it is better than Sirius Lupin. It almost sounds like Moony and I had gotten married. But, no offense Moony, I so don't swing that way," joked Sirius, eliciting a laugh from the other two.
"By the way Moony, you never told us how you died," James pointed out, looking at Remus questioningly.
"Oh, the usual. Just killed by one of Voldemort's unimportant pawns that is nearly as old as him whose name kind of sounds like laxative. No big deal."
"Man, our deaths really did suck," James deadpanned.
"At least our lives rocked. You know, while they lasted. I doubt anyone will ever be able to surpass our amazingly awesome legacy," Sirius gloated.
"You never know, Padfoot," Remus commented lightly. "The Weasley twins were pretty damn close."
"Key word: close." James smirked triumphantly, finally reaching a door at the end of the hall, his hand closing around the knob.
"…Laxative?" Sirius asked after a short period of silence as James opened the door.
"Antonin, Laxative- I think they sound pretty similar." Remus shrugged, being a hundred percent honest in his answer.
"…Eh. A little," both James and Sirius agreed, all three walking into the door at the same time.
AN: Review. I worked (semi-)hard on it! It took a lot of effort (not).
AN/2: I've gone over and edited it, adding and omitting things where I pleased. Enjoy.