Disclaimer: I don't own ay of the HP characters or places etc they belong
to JKR, nor do I own the song Whisper that belongs to Evanescence I think.
Summary: Harry looks back on all that's happened in the war. (Song Fic)
A/N: **= lyrics
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WHISPER
** Catch me as I fall Say you're here & it's all over now Speaking to the atmosphere No one's here & I fall into myself This truth drives me into madness I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away**
Harry awoke from his restless half sleep & sat up trying to erase from his mind the visions that so often haunted him; Sirius' body disappearing behind that veil, Voldemort's face laughing at him, all those death eaters trying to get him & the members of the Order. He could no longer sleep & he had trouble eating & he refused all human contact, but he knew that everything would be bearable if only he could see Sirius again, just talk to him one last time but Harry knew that that happening was about as likely as his parents coming back from the dead. Although he knew it would never happen he wished he could see Sirius just one more time; he wished that everything that had happened since his godfathers death was all a bad dream & at times he almost believed that it was - reality could never be so awful, except when you are Harry Potter.
Harry wished there were some sort of escape from his grief or at least somewhere he could grieve in peace, without people telling him that we all go through losses & that he has to be strong & carry on with his life as normal - that's how Sirius would have wanted it. But Harry no longer cared what everyone else said as they were usually wrong about everything, they knew nothing of his feelings, nothing of how hard it really was to be Harry Potter & yet they knew exactly what he should do in every circumstance, why wouldn't they just leave him alone - if he wanted their help he would ask for it. He would deal with this in his own way. Harry vividly remembered his nightmares as they were all the same & that was all he could see, but he refused to give in to the visions - they were after all only pictures in his mind, they couldn't hurt him, but they could kill those around him.
**Don't turn away Don't give in to the pain Don't try to hide Though they're screaming your name Don't close your eyes God knows what lies behind them Don't turn out the light Never sleep never die**
He knew that he could never escape from his pain, yet he knew that he would never give in to it. Many others would hide & a few short years ago Harry would have given in to it all, but now he knew that surrender was not an option. Although he would never surrender that didn't mean that he could not be afraid, Harry had quickly become more nervous than Neville - although he never let anyone know - & refused even to turn out the light when, if ever, he slept. As he still feared his dreams would result in more deaths.
Fallen angels at my feet Whispered voices at my ear Death before my eyes Lying next to me I fear She beckons me Shall I give in? Upon my end shall I begin? Forsaking all I've fallen for I rise to meet the end
The final battle was the worst, the most painful day of the entire war - of his entire life really.
*~*~Flashback*~*~*~*
All of the D.A were there at his side, also present were all the staff, the order & all 6th & 7th years (except the Slytherins who had all mysteriously disappeared a few hour before) they faced the death eaters on the lawns of Hogwarts this was it the final battle of good vs. evil & it was about to begin. Leading the death eaters was the dark Lord Voldemort himself, & leading the larger army of students, teachers, aurors & other order members was Albus Dumbledore & Harry Potter, followed closely by Ron & Hermione. For what seemed like an eternity everyone stood there looking at each other & knowing that most of them would never walk away from this field - this was the end.
Soon the silence became deafening & Harry wanted to scream he turned his head in time to see Dumbledore give the tiniest of nods & Harry turned to face everyone behind him & called out "3, 2, 1, NOW!" in a clear & level voice. On the word "now" everyone Harry faced raised their wands & screamed "Stupefy", sending hundreds of red rockets across the lawns at the death eaters. Some blocked in time others weren't so lucky & they fell to the ground.
This was the beginning of the end & there was no turning back now. The death eaters started forward & there were curses flying everywhere but at Voldemort's orders no one went after Harry. Harry knew what he had to do & he slowly, deliberately made his way forward towards Voldemort, he was not afraid for he did not fear death he was simply determined.
Voldemort also made his way forward, towards Harry, he detected no fear in Harry's eyes & as fear was Voldemort's best weapon he had a inkling that he would not come out of this battle victoriously.
The battle went on for hours, time moving so slowly that it almost stood still, slowly the death eaters were diminishing & Voldemort was quickly growing weaker, as the last death eater fled, everyone moved in to circle Harry & Voldemort, all wanting to see the end of this duel & now the end of not only the duel but the entire war was in sight. Harry was no longer aware of his surroundings all he knew was the pathetic excuse for a man slowly weakening in front of him, he wanted to end this now & so with all the hate he possessed he raised his wand one last time & pointing it directly at Voldemort's heart he screamed "AVADA KEDAVRA!!" the green light hit Voldemort in the chest & his face fell as he crumpled in a heap on the ground - dead.
Everyone cheered & Harry was suddenly aware that all eyes were on him, Harry looked at the people gathered before him & was startled to see how many were still standing, he looked each & every person before him in the eyes & he saw sadness, loss & a great overwhelming joy. As he looked he was searching for three people in particular Ron, Hermione & Ginny; he saw Ron, with his arms around his little sister Ron & Harry locked gazes & Ron & Ginny made their way forward to Harry when they reached him all three of them hugged, when they finally let go of each other Harry looked into each of their faces & saw they had tears of mixed joy & sadness streaming down their faces.
"Where's Hermione?" asked Harry.
"In the hospital wing, she's hurt bad, but Madam Pomfrey promised to all she can to save her." Sobbed Ginny.
"Well what are we waiting for, let's go & see her" Harry said then he turned to see Dumbledore's reaction.
"I wouldn't dare stand in your way Harry, go on see her" Dumbledore smiled.
Harry nodded before following Ron & Ginny up the lawn to the castle & to the hospital wing. The three of them reached the door together; Harry carefully pushed it open & stepped in ahead of Ron & Ginny, it was here the reality of what he'd done struck him. Every conscious person in the room turned to the newest arrival & they all gasped as one at the sight of Harry.
"Does this mean that we won?" asked Tonks, from one of the beds to Harry left.
"Well Voldemort is dead, if that's what you mean," said Harry.
The entire room was so happy they began to cheer, upon hearing all the noise Madam Pomfrey came out of her office telling people to quiet as she passed their beds, until she reached Harry, Ron & Ginny; she passed in front of them, looking as though she was deciding whether to through them out for causing all the noise or making more noise than anyone else had because he was alive, because it meant that Voldemort was dead.
It was Harry who spoke first "Where is Hermione, & how badly hurt is she?" he asked.
"She is over there" replied Madam Pomfrey, pointing to a cubicle at the other end of the room, "She is currently in a coma & I do not know if she will wake up at all, but I'm doing my best & hoping it will be enough."
Harry made his way down to Hermione's cubicle he pulled back the curtain just enough to allow him in, the sight that greeted him was not a pretty one. If he hadn't been told that this was Hermione he wouldn't have recognized her, her hair was matted with sweat & blood, she was pale & her skin looked far to large for her skeleton, she had a bandage over her left eye & the blood that had soaked through it told Harry she would never see with that eye again. She had also: lost her right hand, had a deep cut reaching from her left knee to her naval & her right leg was broken. It was definitely a good thing that she was unconscious decided Harry as if she was awake she would be in more pain than she could bear.
Harry turned to Ron who had walked in behind him.
"What Happened, do you know?"
"Remember Sirius' cousin, Bellatrix? Well she attacked Hermione from behind, & cut off her wand hand so that she had trouble fighting her off, then Bellatrix did all that & just as she was going kill Hermione Tonks came to her rescue & that's how come Tonks is here & Bellatrix is lying on the grounds with no one to save her," replied Ron.
"Boys, I understand that you want to be near your friend but you have obviously not noticed your own wounds, so if you will just follow me I check you both over & patch you up, then you may do as you please," said Madam Pomfrey.
\\\\\
Three days later Ron, Harry & Ginny were called to Dumbledore's office. They sat in chairs that Dumbledore conjured for them, all wondering why they were here.
"I called the three of you here to talk to you about Miss Granger, as you know she was badly wounded in the battle & unlike the rest of the casualties her condition is not at all improving, in fact it is steadily becoming worse & she is now but an inch from death, I believe that it would be good if you all went & said your goodbyes now whilst there is still a chance she may hear you all." Dumbledore explained. "Ron, Ginny, you may go to her now, Harry, I need to talk to you for a few more moments."
So, Harry stayed where he was as Ron & Ginny got up & silently left for the hospital wing, leaving Harry & Dumbledore sitting in silence.
"Harry, the news of Miss Granger is not the sort that I can write in a letter & owl to her parents, but neither myself nor Professor are able to leave the school & the other staff are in the same position, so will you please tell them? I can send you there by portkey & you can return - with the Grangers if they wish - via another portkey."
Harry thought for a few seconds then realized that he had to do it. He turned to Dumbledore & nodded.
"Excellent, here is the portkey that will bring you back, just tap it with you wand to activate it & here is the one that will take you to the Granger's now - good luck Harry."
Harry took the portkeys & he soon felt the tug behind his naval that went with the movement of the portkey, then before long he was standing on the front step of what he assumed was the Grangers home.
Harry knocked on the door & waited for someone to open it. He didn't have to wait long, a middle aged slightly balding man, who Harry recognized as Hermione's father came to the door. He looked at Harry strangely before saying, "Haven't we met?"
"Yes, Mr. Granger, I'm Harry Potter; a friend of Hermione's from school & I really need to talk to you & your wife, now."
"Well, Mr. Potter you'd better come inside then."
So, Harry followed Mr. Granger in to the house & into the lounge room where he told them about Hermione & asked them if they wanted to come & see her before she died. They agreed to go to Hogwarts with Harry then Harry explained how the Portkey worked & took them back to Hogwarts. They arrived in Dumbledore's office, where Dumbledore greeted them & took them to the hospital wing.
Harry had left Dumbledore's office before the Grangers so that he would be able to say his goodbyes alone. When he walked into her cubicle a very different sight greeted him, Hermione's hair had been washed & brushed & she was wearing clean robes her wounds were either healed or concealed & her right wrist had been bandaged & was no longer covered in blood, she almost looked like herself again. A tear escaped from his eye & he took a seat next to her, he picked up her left hand & encased it with both of his & he lost any control he had over his tears & they spilled freely from his eyes.
"Please don't go Hermione, we all still love you & now the war's over, so there's no more Voldemort to try to kill me all the time, & how are Ron & I going to pass our N.E.W.T.s next month without you helping us cram the night before? Please don't die; you can't, not yet, how can the best student in the 7th year not graduate? Please don't go, we've worked for seven long years to defeat Voldemort & now we've done it, but without you here victory just isn't as sweet, please Hermione I know that you're strong enough to fight back & recover, just don't die." He sobbed how long he sat there Harry couldn't tell but he left when the Grangers arrived & let them say goodbye to their daughter alone.
~*~*~End flashback~*~*~*~*
Harry rubbed the tears from his eyes, it still hurt to think of the day he said goodbye to Hermione - the day before she died, but the again the battle had been less than one month ago. Harry looked out the window to see the first rays of sunshine dancing just above the distant horizon; he decided to give up on sleep, so he dressed & headed down to the common room with his photo album.
When he reached the common room he saw he was not the only one up this early, Ginny was sitting in one of the large armchairs by the empty fireplace, he went & sat in the chair next to her & began looking through his album.
"Couldn't sleep either?" asked Ginny after a few minutes.
"Nope, I got on to thinking of Sirius & Hermione & everyone else who died at the hand of Voldemort & his minions & so I got my album & came down here."
"Oh, well can I look at the pictures to?"
"Sure, come sit by me. Look here's one of the four of us at the burrow."
~*~*fini~*~*~
authors notes: hope you enjoyed this as it has been months in the working & I've finally had the inspiration to finish it. Please review. L8r Skichik.
Summary: Harry looks back on all that's happened in the war. (Song Fic)
A/N: **= lyrics
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
WHISPER
** Catch me as I fall Say you're here & it's all over now Speaking to the atmosphere No one's here & I fall into myself This truth drives me into madness I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away**
Harry awoke from his restless half sleep & sat up trying to erase from his mind the visions that so often haunted him; Sirius' body disappearing behind that veil, Voldemort's face laughing at him, all those death eaters trying to get him & the members of the Order. He could no longer sleep & he had trouble eating & he refused all human contact, but he knew that everything would be bearable if only he could see Sirius again, just talk to him one last time but Harry knew that that happening was about as likely as his parents coming back from the dead. Although he knew it would never happen he wished he could see Sirius just one more time; he wished that everything that had happened since his godfathers death was all a bad dream & at times he almost believed that it was - reality could never be so awful, except when you are Harry Potter.
Harry wished there were some sort of escape from his grief or at least somewhere he could grieve in peace, without people telling him that we all go through losses & that he has to be strong & carry on with his life as normal - that's how Sirius would have wanted it. But Harry no longer cared what everyone else said as they were usually wrong about everything, they knew nothing of his feelings, nothing of how hard it really was to be Harry Potter & yet they knew exactly what he should do in every circumstance, why wouldn't they just leave him alone - if he wanted their help he would ask for it. He would deal with this in his own way. Harry vividly remembered his nightmares as they were all the same & that was all he could see, but he refused to give in to the visions - they were after all only pictures in his mind, they couldn't hurt him, but they could kill those around him.
**Don't turn away Don't give in to the pain Don't try to hide Though they're screaming your name Don't close your eyes God knows what lies behind them Don't turn out the light Never sleep never die**
He knew that he could never escape from his pain, yet he knew that he would never give in to it. Many others would hide & a few short years ago Harry would have given in to it all, but now he knew that surrender was not an option. Although he would never surrender that didn't mean that he could not be afraid, Harry had quickly become more nervous than Neville - although he never let anyone know - & refused even to turn out the light when, if ever, he slept. As he still feared his dreams would result in more deaths.
Fallen angels at my feet Whispered voices at my ear Death before my eyes Lying next to me I fear She beckons me Shall I give in? Upon my end shall I begin? Forsaking all I've fallen for I rise to meet the end
The final battle was the worst, the most painful day of the entire war - of his entire life really.
*~*~Flashback*~*~*~*
All of the D.A were there at his side, also present were all the staff, the order & all 6th & 7th years (except the Slytherins who had all mysteriously disappeared a few hour before) they faced the death eaters on the lawns of Hogwarts this was it the final battle of good vs. evil & it was about to begin. Leading the death eaters was the dark Lord Voldemort himself, & leading the larger army of students, teachers, aurors & other order members was Albus Dumbledore & Harry Potter, followed closely by Ron & Hermione. For what seemed like an eternity everyone stood there looking at each other & knowing that most of them would never walk away from this field - this was the end.
Soon the silence became deafening & Harry wanted to scream he turned his head in time to see Dumbledore give the tiniest of nods & Harry turned to face everyone behind him & called out "3, 2, 1, NOW!" in a clear & level voice. On the word "now" everyone Harry faced raised their wands & screamed "Stupefy", sending hundreds of red rockets across the lawns at the death eaters. Some blocked in time others weren't so lucky & they fell to the ground.
This was the beginning of the end & there was no turning back now. The death eaters started forward & there were curses flying everywhere but at Voldemort's orders no one went after Harry. Harry knew what he had to do & he slowly, deliberately made his way forward towards Voldemort, he was not afraid for he did not fear death he was simply determined.
Voldemort also made his way forward, towards Harry, he detected no fear in Harry's eyes & as fear was Voldemort's best weapon he had a inkling that he would not come out of this battle victoriously.
The battle went on for hours, time moving so slowly that it almost stood still, slowly the death eaters were diminishing & Voldemort was quickly growing weaker, as the last death eater fled, everyone moved in to circle Harry & Voldemort, all wanting to see the end of this duel & now the end of not only the duel but the entire war was in sight. Harry was no longer aware of his surroundings all he knew was the pathetic excuse for a man slowly weakening in front of him, he wanted to end this now & so with all the hate he possessed he raised his wand one last time & pointing it directly at Voldemort's heart he screamed "AVADA KEDAVRA!!" the green light hit Voldemort in the chest & his face fell as he crumpled in a heap on the ground - dead.
Everyone cheered & Harry was suddenly aware that all eyes were on him, Harry looked at the people gathered before him & was startled to see how many were still standing, he looked each & every person before him in the eyes & he saw sadness, loss & a great overwhelming joy. As he looked he was searching for three people in particular Ron, Hermione & Ginny; he saw Ron, with his arms around his little sister Ron & Harry locked gazes & Ron & Ginny made their way forward to Harry when they reached him all three of them hugged, when they finally let go of each other Harry looked into each of their faces & saw they had tears of mixed joy & sadness streaming down their faces.
"Where's Hermione?" asked Harry.
"In the hospital wing, she's hurt bad, but Madam Pomfrey promised to all she can to save her." Sobbed Ginny.
"Well what are we waiting for, let's go & see her" Harry said then he turned to see Dumbledore's reaction.
"I wouldn't dare stand in your way Harry, go on see her" Dumbledore smiled.
Harry nodded before following Ron & Ginny up the lawn to the castle & to the hospital wing. The three of them reached the door together; Harry carefully pushed it open & stepped in ahead of Ron & Ginny, it was here the reality of what he'd done struck him. Every conscious person in the room turned to the newest arrival & they all gasped as one at the sight of Harry.
"Does this mean that we won?" asked Tonks, from one of the beds to Harry left.
"Well Voldemort is dead, if that's what you mean," said Harry.
The entire room was so happy they began to cheer, upon hearing all the noise Madam Pomfrey came out of her office telling people to quiet as she passed their beds, until she reached Harry, Ron & Ginny; she passed in front of them, looking as though she was deciding whether to through them out for causing all the noise or making more noise than anyone else had because he was alive, because it meant that Voldemort was dead.
It was Harry who spoke first "Where is Hermione, & how badly hurt is she?" he asked.
"She is over there" replied Madam Pomfrey, pointing to a cubicle at the other end of the room, "She is currently in a coma & I do not know if she will wake up at all, but I'm doing my best & hoping it will be enough."
Harry made his way down to Hermione's cubicle he pulled back the curtain just enough to allow him in, the sight that greeted him was not a pretty one. If he hadn't been told that this was Hermione he wouldn't have recognized her, her hair was matted with sweat & blood, she was pale & her skin looked far to large for her skeleton, she had a bandage over her left eye & the blood that had soaked through it told Harry she would never see with that eye again. She had also: lost her right hand, had a deep cut reaching from her left knee to her naval & her right leg was broken. It was definitely a good thing that she was unconscious decided Harry as if she was awake she would be in more pain than she could bear.
Harry turned to Ron who had walked in behind him.
"What Happened, do you know?"
"Remember Sirius' cousin, Bellatrix? Well she attacked Hermione from behind, & cut off her wand hand so that she had trouble fighting her off, then Bellatrix did all that & just as she was going kill Hermione Tonks came to her rescue & that's how come Tonks is here & Bellatrix is lying on the grounds with no one to save her," replied Ron.
"Boys, I understand that you want to be near your friend but you have obviously not noticed your own wounds, so if you will just follow me I check you both over & patch you up, then you may do as you please," said Madam Pomfrey.
\\\\\
Three days later Ron, Harry & Ginny were called to Dumbledore's office. They sat in chairs that Dumbledore conjured for them, all wondering why they were here.
"I called the three of you here to talk to you about Miss Granger, as you know she was badly wounded in the battle & unlike the rest of the casualties her condition is not at all improving, in fact it is steadily becoming worse & she is now but an inch from death, I believe that it would be good if you all went & said your goodbyes now whilst there is still a chance she may hear you all." Dumbledore explained. "Ron, Ginny, you may go to her now, Harry, I need to talk to you for a few more moments."
So, Harry stayed where he was as Ron & Ginny got up & silently left for the hospital wing, leaving Harry & Dumbledore sitting in silence.
"Harry, the news of Miss Granger is not the sort that I can write in a letter & owl to her parents, but neither myself nor Professor are able to leave the school & the other staff are in the same position, so will you please tell them? I can send you there by portkey & you can return - with the Grangers if they wish - via another portkey."
Harry thought for a few seconds then realized that he had to do it. He turned to Dumbledore & nodded.
"Excellent, here is the portkey that will bring you back, just tap it with you wand to activate it & here is the one that will take you to the Granger's now - good luck Harry."
Harry took the portkeys & he soon felt the tug behind his naval that went with the movement of the portkey, then before long he was standing on the front step of what he assumed was the Grangers home.
Harry knocked on the door & waited for someone to open it. He didn't have to wait long, a middle aged slightly balding man, who Harry recognized as Hermione's father came to the door. He looked at Harry strangely before saying, "Haven't we met?"
"Yes, Mr. Granger, I'm Harry Potter; a friend of Hermione's from school & I really need to talk to you & your wife, now."
"Well, Mr. Potter you'd better come inside then."
So, Harry followed Mr. Granger in to the house & into the lounge room where he told them about Hermione & asked them if they wanted to come & see her before she died. They agreed to go to Hogwarts with Harry then Harry explained how the Portkey worked & took them back to Hogwarts. They arrived in Dumbledore's office, where Dumbledore greeted them & took them to the hospital wing.
Harry had left Dumbledore's office before the Grangers so that he would be able to say his goodbyes alone. When he walked into her cubicle a very different sight greeted him, Hermione's hair had been washed & brushed & she was wearing clean robes her wounds were either healed or concealed & her right wrist had been bandaged & was no longer covered in blood, she almost looked like herself again. A tear escaped from his eye & he took a seat next to her, he picked up her left hand & encased it with both of his & he lost any control he had over his tears & they spilled freely from his eyes.
"Please don't go Hermione, we all still love you & now the war's over, so there's no more Voldemort to try to kill me all the time, & how are Ron & I going to pass our N.E.W.T.s next month without you helping us cram the night before? Please don't die; you can't, not yet, how can the best student in the 7th year not graduate? Please don't go, we've worked for seven long years to defeat Voldemort & now we've done it, but without you here victory just isn't as sweet, please Hermione I know that you're strong enough to fight back & recover, just don't die." He sobbed how long he sat there Harry couldn't tell but he left when the Grangers arrived & let them say goodbye to their daughter alone.
~*~*~End flashback~*~*~*~*
Harry rubbed the tears from his eyes, it still hurt to think of the day he said goodbye to Hermione - the day before she died, but the again the battle had been less than one month ago. Harry looked out the window to see the first rays of sunshine dancing just above the distant horizon; he decided to give up on sleep, so he dressed & headed down to the common room with his photo album.
When he reached the common room he saw he was not the only one up this early, Ginny was sitting in one of the large armchairs by the empty fireplace, he went & sat in the chair next to her & began looking through his album.
"Couldn't sleep either?" asked Ginny after a few minutes.
"Nope, I got on to thinking of Sirius & Hermione & everyone else who died at the hand of Voldemort & his minions & so I got my album & came down here."
"Oh, well can I look at the pictures to?"
"Sure, come sit by me. Look here's one of the four of us at the burrow."
~*~*fini~*~*~
authors notes: hope you enjoyed this as it has been months in the working & I've finally had the inspiration to finish it. Please review. L8r Skichik.