Spoilers: Through the end of season 10.
Disclaimer: No one mentioned belongs to me.
Fiona had been more than a little surprised when Anya responded to her invitation to come over for the afternoon. Frankly, Fiona had been a little surprised to have issued the invitation, given that she and Anya weren't exactly close. Or on speaking terms, really. But Fiona hadn't had many friends the last time she'd been at Degrassi full-time, and now that she was sober and Bobby-free, she'd decided she should actually try talking to her fellow students. Anya was an easy choice, because she would at least put up with Fiona for Holly J's sake. Even if it was just the two girls crammed into Fiona's bedroom, gathering supplies for the mani-pedi session that was about to take place.
"I don't think I have half as many shades," mused Anya, perusing Fiona's shelf. "Although it's a little OCD, don't you think?"
She was, albeit bluntly, referring to the neat ROY G. BIV-arranged color palette of Fiona's polishes, a new coping technique Fiona had employed one rough evening.
"Sometimes it's really, really hard to take your mind off drinking," Fiona said by way of explanation. Anya cast her a small, sideways glance, but to her credit, said nothing about it, just nodded. She plucked a brightly colored bottle off the shelf and peered at it distastefully.
"Ick, is this that red Holly J always uses?"
"I think so."
"It doesn't work with her hair," said Anya, shaking her head and putting the bottle back where she'd found it. "I don't get it. She's normally got such good taste."
"No one's perfect."
"Holly J certainly isn't," said Anya. "At least, she wasn't. She used to be a real..."
Fiona recalled being shoved and locked in a closet. "Bitch?" she supplied.
Anya almost smiled, then selected a burgundy bottle. "Yeah, pretty much. She's ruthless when she wants to be. A real evil genius."
Fiona tucked the last of the paraphernalia into a basket and gestured for Anya to follow her into the living room. "So what's the point of this charming little tale?"
"I was just thinking that she's so... well, she's not scary now. You really mellowed her out, Fiona. Being friends with you might be one of the best things that's ever happened to her." Anya smiled brilliantly and Fiona was touched.
"Well, you're welcome. It's always nice to know that things are vastly improved by your presence."
"I didn't quite say that," said Anya wryly, and it was Fiona's turn to grin.
For a few minutes, silence reigned as they divvied up supplies and got to work. But silence wasn't quite Fiona's thing, and from the looks of it, it wasn't Anya's either. She looked up from her toes, pointedly casual, and said, "Hey, I don't know if this is your sort of thing, but there's an LGBT club at school. They're meeting on Wednesday. I'm going with Riley, if you're interested."
"Riley Stavros?" said Fiona, surprised. She knew she'd been more than a little out of it the past year, but not that out of it.
"You know him?"
"We dated, sort of. He finally came out?"
"He did." Anya looked amused. "You two dated? Funny how that turned out."
"I don't think either of us knew we were gay at the time. I mean, I thought he was, but I certainly didn't know I was." Fiona pulled a bottle of navy polish. She was suddenly struck with a thought, one that backtracked the conversation slightly. "The, um, the T. Transgender. Is..."
"Is Adam going to be there?" Anya guessed.
Fiona nodded, relieved she didn't have to say his name out loud.
"I don't know. I don't go all the time, but he's never been there that I remember. I guess he likes to keep a low profile."
"I don't blame him," said Fiona.
"I take it the break-up was not mutual and amicable?"
"He may have accused me of wanting a girl."
"You do want a girl," said Anya bluntly, staring at her without understanding.
"True. But right as he was, I shouldn't have taken him down with me. And I definitely shouldn't have called him girlish."
Anya pulled a face. "Ouch."
"I believe the phrase 'best of both worlds' was used?" Fiona's voice went up at the end of the sentence, trembling as though bordering on a laugh. She was laughing at her own ignorance, her bias, her willful prejudice, and encouraging Anya to laugh at her, as well. She'd been struggling with her own identity for so long, she'd kind of forgotten that other people struggled with theirs, as well, and maybe didn't want a reminder of how different they were. There was a lot she had to learn, still.
"Well, going to the club might help," said Anya delicately. "Both for you and for Adam."
"I don't think Adam's going to want to talk to me again," Fiona admitted. "Probably ever."
"Did you know that Sav and I used to date?"
"I think so?" She remembered something about a baby scare involved with Holly J's presidential campaign, but at the time, she'd been too involved in her own drama to really pay attention. And she had no idea what this had to do with Adam.
"Yeah. For awhile. Very on-and-off. I lost my virginity to him. We had a pregnancy scare. And then a fake pregnancy, at Holly J's request."
"I... what?"
"My point is, my best friend convinced me to fake having a baby so we could sabotage my ex-boyfriend's campaign for class president, and then she ended up dating him. It was a pretty terrible thing. For me and Sav, at least. But we both managed to forgive her, and Sav may or may not have fallen in love with her. So if we could manage to get over that and move on, then I'm pretty sure Adam will forgive you for something you said during a very screwed-up time in your life. Give it time, give him some space. You're probably never going to be best friends, but I'm pretty sure he won't hate you forever."
"Aren't we the optimist?" said Fiona wryly, but it was more saying something for the sake of saying something, since she was still trying to digest Anya's story. She'd heard all about Holly J's side of it, of course, in the sort of conversations they had late at night, tucked into bed and surrounded by the nonjudgmental darkness.
"I'm speaking from experience."
"Wait, you faked a pregnancy and Sav still speaks to you?"
"We don't exactly call each other every night to chat, but neither of us is burning the other in effigy, no."
"That is kind of inspiring," Fiona admitted. She looked at her hands. "You said you're going? To the meeting?" She never used to be the sort of girl that ended every sentence in a question, but then, she never used to be the sort of girl that doubted herself.
"Sure," said Anya easily. "We can sit together."
"Thanks." Fiona had never really thought much of Anya: she was a girl at school, she knew Holly J, she seemed a little boring. But Fiona was beginning to realize that Anya, while not as... elite as Holly J, was funny, thoughtful, and insightful. She actually felt bad that she hadn't realized. She could almost have a crush on Anya, she mused. Well, not really. But they could definitely be friends. Maybe even good friends.
And if someone as cool as Anya had been lurking under her nose, who else at Degrassi had she wrongly dismissed? The thought was staggering. She'd been achingly lonely a lot of the time, and now she realized it was her fault.
"Thanks for coming over today, Anya. I'm glad we're getting to know each other."
"Yeah, me too." Then Anya's smile faltered and her eyes narrowed with suspicion. "You re not, like, starting to have a crush on me, are you?"
Fiona gaped, not knowing what to say. "Uh, no."
"What, 'uh, no.' What does Holly J have that I don't have?"
Fiona could've written a sonnet on all the things about Holly J she loved, but somehow she didn't think that would help.
Anya held her offended expression for a few moments more, but as Fiona groped helplessly for words, Anya's face collapsed in a laugh. "Oh, relax. I'm just messing with you."
"Jerk," said Fiona, relieved, poking Anya in the arm. "You wish."
"Nah, I'm almost taken."
"'Almost taken'? Anyhow does that work, pray tell?"
"It's my mom's doctor."
"A doctor, huh? So that would make him..."
Anya rolled her eyes at Fiona's tone. "Older than me, yeah. But not a lot older, or anything. Just enough that my mom's totally against it. Until I graduate, at least."
"A secret affair with an older man," said Fiona, nodding approvingly. "Impressive."
"Oh, sure, make it sound like a torrid romance novel."
"You mean it's not?"
"Not yet, anyway." Anya chewed slightly on her bottom lip in a way that was definitely cute. Fiona almost wanted to reassess her idea of whether or not she could have a crush on Anya. Then she snapped herself out of it. She really needed to meet some actual lesbians.
"So both of our love lives are a disaster, then."
"Aw, come on. We'll find you a nice girl."
"Again with the optimism."
"Let's just say it's been an enlightening year." That was an understatement. "I'm willing to have a little faith."
She made it sound so simple. But Fiona thought about the last year, which started with her straight in New York and was ending with her gay in Toronto, in love with her best friend, a girl she'd hated this time last year. "Have a little faith," she echoed the sentiment.
"Just trust me. When something sucks, really sucks, something good is usually right behind it."
Fiona tried to imagine what karma could possibly have in store for her to balance out the year she'd been having. The prospect was daunting. And anything she could think of seemed too good to be true.
Whatever facial expression Fiona was wearing, Anya seemed to interpret easily. She grinned. "Scary, isn't it, thinking about what's coming your way?"
"Super scary," Fiona agreed, and she thought she sounded a little bit like Anya. She didn't mind. Whatever magic Anya had was working to keep her attitude positive was something that Fiona wanted to borrow and use for herself. Inspired, she set aside her gold polish, halfway through the manicure, and reached across the table for Anya's burgundy. "I changed my mind; I love this color. Do you mind?"
Anya shrugged. "Not at all."
"It's a little matchy-matchy," Fiona warned, which was normally a thing she hated.
"It just means I have good taste," said Anya cheerfully.
Fiona laughed. She knew that wearing the same color as Anya wouldn't make her anything like Anya, but it cheered her up. She definitely needed cheering up. It was a start.