Have you heard anything I have said?
Bill emerged from the head and grabbed his jacket from the back of his desk chair. As he pulled it on, he continued the snippets of conversation Laura and he had been having since they had shared breakfast, "You know I'm sure I saw Tory in the bar the other day and frankly she looked about under the…"
"I'm not sure about this thing; does it really look alright to you?" Laura asked barely glancing his way as she sat with a folder open on her knee, a cup of tea in one hand and the other pulling at a strand on her head.
Knowing full well what she was talking about having already answered the question about hundred times, or so it seemed to him, he stalled her with a, "Huh," Before turning back towards her and replying quickly, "Yes, it's fine, stop fiddling."
She dropped her hand and started back in on the report that was on her lap.
"Do you have much on today?" Bill asked as he buttoned up his jacket and came to sit next to her on the couch. Receiving no answer he carried on, "I'm meeting with the Captain of the…"
"What time are we having dinner tonight?" Laura blurted out in the middle of his sentence interrupting him for the second time.
"You're doing it again," He sighed, "You haven't heard a thing I've been saying have you?"
"I have!" She argued.
"What did I say then?" He challenged.
"Um…"
"See!" He laughed.
"Wait…" She smiled cheekily putting her hand up to her head and briefly shutting her eyes, "It's coming back to me, you said, yes here it comes, you said how much you love me and wanted to marry me."
Adama's eyebrow shot up, "You want me to marry you!" Bill laughed out loud, "That's new, don't you think we should be dating first?"
"Oh, I suppose," she pouted, "well no marrying then," she sighed theatrically.
Bill smiled and started to move off the couch when Laura's hand gripped his arm, before he looked round, he was surprised to hear her voice hesitant, so unlike the strong authoritive sound that the President of the Twelve Colonies used or the playful woman that she had been a few seconds ago.
"You could still tell me that you love me though."
Bill stopped dead at the words and the seconds started to tick by in an uncomfortable silence.
Laura looked at the still, stiff man that remained sitting barely on the edge of the couch and cursed herself for such foolish words; she had embarrassed herself and him. They had grown so comfortable in each others' company of late. He was always there for her but now she seemed to have mistaken kindness for something else, something that she thought was unwritten between them but it was silly and faintly ridiculous now, times had changed, she had changed, why would he find this version of Laura Roslin attractive.
"Or not," she said, trying desperately to sound upbeat. When he still made no attempt to move or speak again, Laura felt a rising panic that she had overstepped their tenuous line of mutual consent. She moved forward in her seat to try and look into his face but it was still tilted slightly away from her.
"Bill?" She said really starting to get alarmed by his lack of response. She fought a sudden need to burst into tears at the way her remark, said in jest, was being ignored. No she corrected herself it wasn't made in jest if she were honest with herself; she meant it, testing the waters so to speak. Now it had suddenly spiralled out of control with his simple lack of response, she found herself back peddling fast as she watched his hands fist up and then unwind to grasp his knees tightly.
The mounting waterworks overflowed and a few tears escaped her eyes, she reached out and placed her hand gently on his forearm trying not to scare him off, any more than she already had.
"Bill, I'm sorry…"
His response when it happened was quick and his right hand left his knee and grasped firmly onto Laura's hand squeezing it fiercely.
He finally brought his face round, so that Laura could see the play of emotions that sang across his face. She closed her eyes at the rawness that she saw there; her eyes were not the only ones valiantly try to contain the flow of tears. She knew in that moment that she need not doubt him.
"I really am sorry, it was a silly thing to say," She fretted.
Bill shook his head despondently as he sighed, "You shouldn't have to ask, Laura, you should know."
The President of the twelve Colonies sat wide eyed looking straight at the Admiral of the fleet as they walked a very dangerous ground but this was their time and there was no going back now. Laura nodded her head once and bit her lip hesitantly.
"Do you need to ask me the question?" he said reading her body language. "Do you?"
Laura started to shake her head negatively and she said, "No…" But stopped and looked nervously at him, "Yes." She looked away from him for a moment before continuing in a sombre manner, "I don't have time any more, every minute is precious, I want clarity, certainty in everything I do, I can't wait for things to sort themselves out in the natural course of time."
Bill watched as she leaned back against the couch looking tired of the emotion load she was carrying. She closed her eyes as she continued in a strained voice, "Time is running out for me, for all of us one way or another," she smiled despairingly, "and we waste too much of it feeling sorry for ourselves." She threw her hands up in the air in dramatic gesture, "here's an idea, lets just go out and get what we want," Laura finished smirking slightly at him.
Bill waited for a moment watching her face as she tried to read his, "and what is it that you want, Laura Roslin?" he asked, his voice slow and low.
Her breath caught slightly at his tone but she gave him one last get out clause as she said lightly, eyes dancing with mirth, "Where would you like me to start? There are so many things."
Bill didn't take the bait though and moved back to make himself more comfortable and turned his body so that he was closer to Laura as he said seriously, "How about you start here in this room, right now?"
Laura looked down at her lap, she had brought them to this moment with one flippant remark but this act they had been playing out for so long needed to end.
"I want you to love me," she said quietly.
Bill started to open his mouth to answer but Laura stopped him with a finger pressed to his lips. She had started it and now she was going to finish it once and for all, good or bad.
"I want you to make love to me," she said self consciously, "I know I'm not attractive as a woman anymore," she faltered pointing up to her hair, "certainly not the pick of the bunch but…" she trailed off, looking at him to see his reaction.
Bill didn't hesitate in his answer as he said robustly to her, "You will always be desirable to me, Laura, no matter what."
"Hair or no hair? She smiled.
He nodded his head with a gentle smile on his face but watched as her previous words sank in and her face start to crumble. "Ssh, I mean it Laura; you never need worry about that. I will always make love to you, gladly, believe me!" He said making Laura smile once again.
His face grew serious again as his eyes dropped briefly from hers and summoned up the courage to ask a nagging question that he dreaded to hear the response to, but he had to know the truth.
"Laura," he said making eye contact again. "I need to know, it will make no difference to what happens here next but I… I have to know, I understand the way you are feeling but..."
"Bill, just ask me whatever is on your mind."
"Do you… making love to me does it mean… or do you simply want, need to feel like a woman again, which is fine, I totally understand, I just need to know were I stand?" He finished, not really sure that she had any idea that he was asking her the simple question, how do you actual feel about me, but it was to late to clarify as he watched the tears started to form and fall down Laura's face and his heart sank.
Did she feel sorry for him? Could she not give him the answer he so desired even though he said it didn't matter.
Swallowing Bill said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster, "It's alright it's fine, please don't cry, I told you it's not a problem." He reached forward to brush the tears sliding down her face away with his thumb.
Laura's own hand came up to hold Bill's hand in place, "Bill, I do so much want to just… feel something again, I do, I can't deny that but you mean too much to me to risk our relationship on the opportunity to…"
"Get laid?" He quirked his eyebrow at her.
"Have sex," she said equally bluntly, "Do you need me to say it?" She repeated his words from earlier.
He leaned forward and captured her lips with his, in a gentle if not soft kiss, pulling her lower lip as he moved away to her neck, bring his cheek to rest against hers, he felt confident in pre-empting her words with his own, "I love you, Laura Roslin, and I want to make love to you forever."
"Forever sounds good," Laura said lightly, but pulled away from him and took his head in her hands, looking him straight in the eye and with every ounce of conviction she said, "I love you Bill, I truly do, and you never need to ask again."
He brought their forehead together as he said hoarsely, "Gods, Laura, we make hard work of these things, don't we? Do we get to the fun part any time soon?"
"Yes please," She giggled. Then she sighed as she said regretfully, "of course it is time for work, which…" she looked at the clock, "I believe you are late for…" giving him a small peck on the cheek she pulled away and gather her belongings together before standing up and making her way to the hatch, turning she said straight faced, "and you have to go meet Captain something or other, plus I guess I had better go have a word with Tory about her behaviour outside working hours, can we come back to this?" She waited for his stunned nod and continued, "Did you decide what time dinner was this evening? I think we both could be in for a treat!" She finished not waiting for an answer as she walked out of his room with a stronger gait than in recent times, leaving Bill Adama on his couch watching her disappear wondering how quickly he could get away for dinner.