Once upon an evening in Midgar

Reno and Rude slowly walked down the street.

They were men of the Turks

And their job had its perks

But there was no challenge left for the elite.

With their enemy floored

They were really quite bored

So Reno said, "Hey, let's get something to eat."

-

Without saying a word

Rude just shrugged and continued his gait.

The stoic of the pair

He really didn't care

And figured most places near empty this late.

It was not very far

So they went to the bar

Therefore accidentally sealing their fate.

-

There was no bartender, even

As they entered the room and Rude found he had been right.

Just a woman was there

Playing with her hair

Sitting alone beneath one swinging light.

Reno ditched food

His expression turned lewd

And he strolled over, commenting, "Ain't you a sight."

He attempted to flirt

But it didn't quite work

As she said, "I won't stand with that shit. Not tonight."

Still bored beyond belief

He only gave her more grief

And she eventually angrily rose to full hight.

Reno was taller by far

But her gaze clearly said, "Rawr!"

So he held up his hands, saying, "Listen, babe, I don't want a fight."

-

She scoffed at this

And her eyes seemed to glow as she said, "Too late.

I'm in a bad mood

And you've been up to no good

So maybe on you I can take out my hate."

Reno blanched at the thought

As he knew that he ought

For he knew womanly wrath to be great.

-

She stepped back

And, cackling, threw her arms in the air.

With a puff of green smoke

Causing Reno to choke

She disappeared with the words, "Now try to get out, if you dare."

"Good job," said Rude.

"Hey, shut up, dude.

But, man, that chick can go out with a flair."

-

Reno moved to the entrance

And tried open the door with no luck.

Rude smirked, then frowned.

"Well, what now?"

Reno shrugged and was promptly attacked in the face by a duck.

"Oh, come on."

The duck was then gone

And replaced with a layer of muck.

-

"Okay, that's just gross."

Reno tried to wipe the stuff out of his hair.

The junk on his head

Rather smelled like the dead

But before much could be done he was glomped by a bear.

"Hey, that's my face!

What's up with this place?"

All Rude chose to do was stare.

-

Reno wrestled with it.

"Come on, Rude! Get her off! Get 'er!

I have no clue

What she's trying to do

But whatever it is, don't let 'er!"

Rude's tiny smirk grew.

"She seems to like you."

"That seriously isn't much better!"

-

Rude sighed.

"The only person to blame is you."

"How could I guess

She'd give me such a mess?"

"It's not like it's anything new."

Then down Reno fell.

"Ah, what the hell?"

He pulled out an orb. "Fire 2!"

-

"You realize that's arson."

"Who cares?" Reno shrugged as they walked from the crime.

"Not like it's my fault."

At that, Rude came to a halt.

He turned. "Reno, you cause stuff like this all the time."

"Okay, I fess up

But this is messed up.

I mean, why the hell is this whole thing in rhyme?"

A/N: It just came to me. I was totally making it up as I went along, so don't ask, because I don't know, either. I can't believe I wrote this...