Au note: The challenge was to use hat(s) and duck(s) in a drabble with bonus points for kissing. This is too long for a drabble and is completely lacking in lip-locking.
"Can you believe this question from my daughter's SAT test? Deakins asked, frowning at the paper in his hands. "Create a story using as many as possible of the following items of apparel as verbs; scarf, sock, shoe, dress, skirt, tie, suit, jockey shorts, hat, slip, belt."
He glanced at his two detectives, waiting for a response.
After a brief silence, Eames announced "Okay. The story of my life. In a typical morning, I scarf down a bagel while listening to some talk-show financial planner telling me how to sock away my savings; if I had any. Afternoons require that I shoe Goren from my chocolate stash and then dress him down on general principles. Thinking about the last time I had a date, I wonder if I will ever find a significant other to suit my lifestyle. I admire Carver as he skirts a particularly thorny legal issue and sympathize with Bishop's frustration as she describes how Goren's behavior ties her in knots. With annoying regularity, I envy the other motorists as they jockey for good lane positions approaching the Triborough bridge, while I languish on the shoulder, puzzling over the reasons that my car's electrical system shorts at such inopportune moments. But this next one has me stymied. How do I use hat as a verb?"
Goren smiled as he continued to work his crossword puzzle. "Slip away to Munich, Eames."
At her silence he continued, "Hat. third person singular of the verb to have; as in Eames hat einen erstaunlichen Partner, der Deutsches spricht "
Deakin's warning to duck came seconds too late as Alex reached over and proceeded to belt her 'amazing German- speaking partner' across the back of head with her newspaper.