Holy shit I'm back and I'm writing fluffy Raikim?! What is this nonsense? I don't write fluff I killify characters and torment them maliciously! This is not...Alright fine it is. You guys remember when I said I'd do a Raikim fic based on that whole, "Don't wait for your prince because that poor idiot might be stuck up a tree" quote a while back? Yeah, well I actually did the thing. And IDK man, I've been imagining Rai as the narrator or whatever but do your own thing.

Your Prince Might Be Stuck Up a Tree

Once long ago, in a land far away there was a princess. Well, maybe it wasn't that long ago. And it was almost certainly not that far away. And okay, she wasn't a princess, her father just called her his princess. That's not what matters, and besides, "not a particularly long time ago, in a land that wasn't that far away, there lived a toymaker's daughter," doesn't sound as catchy. Yes, the stories have to be catchy. People don't remember stories if they're not catchy and you want stories to live on for a long…Okay fine. I'll get on with it. Not like you're doing anything else right now. Where was I again…Oh right, princess who wasn't a princess, she was just called a princess.

One day, the princess was working in her father's shop when a dragon came up to her and…Yes the dragon fit in the shop. It was a very small dragon. Yes I'm sure it wasn't a gecko. No I'm not exaggerating. The dragon came up to her and said…Yes it was a real dragon. Let me tell the story. The dragon came up to her and said, "Yo, how's it going? Is that a slinky in a puzzle box? Wow I haven't seen one of those in ages! Does it have one of those spooky masks inside?"

And she replied, "No, no masks here. Can I interest you in anything else?" because he looked like a friendly dragon, and before you ask, yes there are friendly dragons and this dragon was one of them.

"Yeah actually," the dragon said, jumping up on the counter. "I'm actually looking for you."

"For me?" she said, because dragons don't go looking for pretty young maidens every day you know. They're not healthy. A dragon needs a steady diet of…okay fine, moving on…

"Yeah, you see every fifteen hundred years…" It was actually fourteen hundred and sixty three, but fifteen hundred sounds better. "four heroes are chosen to defend the world from evil. You are one of those heroes. You have power over the element of fire and you must now journey far beyond the Valley of Somewhere, through the Canyon of Doom and Agony, over the river of It Goes to There, across the vast depths of the Ocean of That's Where, across the Deserts of Oh There, over the Mountains of Over There, through the Jungles of Neither Here nor There, and through the Forest of I Didn't Even Know That Was There. If you hit the Land of Nowhere, you've gone too far. Ciao!"

He handed her a map for her quest…yes those are all real places, stop doubting me…and she packed her bags, wished her father goodbye, and started on her journey. She travelled far beyond the Valley of Somewhere, through the Canyon of Doom and Agony, over the river of It Goes to There, across the vast depths of the Ocean of That's Where, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, until she came to the Forest of I Didn't Even Know That Was There, where she saw the most magnificent sight she'd ever seen.

"This is the most magnificent sight I've ever seen," she said. Because that was what it was. It was a guy hanging from a tree, tangled up in his traveling cloak. And he was so sexyfine. He was so sexyfine he blew her mind. But she was not the most mind blown because he thought she was even more sexyfine.

"No! You don't see me!" he said, because he couldn't bear to be seen in such an embarrassing situation such as hanging from a tree, tangled in his traveling cloak.

"Do you need help?" she asked.

"I have this under control," he replied, struggling with his traveling cloak. "Fine, maybe I need help."

So, she scrambled up the tree to help him and asked, "How did you get stuck up here in the first place?" because it was really weird that he got stuck so high up in a tree.

"A dragon told me I had wind powers and told me to venture far beyond places with weird names to go to a temple and I was testing my powers to see if I could get to the temple faster and my cloak got stuck in a tree."

"Really? A dragon sent me on a quest too! Are you looking for the temple beyond the Forest of I Didn't Even Know That Was There?"

"Yea…Deus!" With that, she unhooked him from the tree and sent the poor, harmless, defenseless creature hurtling the twenty feet to the ground. "You could have given me a warning!"

"Sorry! You could at least thank me for getting you unstuck!" She glared at him from the branches.

"You dropped me a lot of feet!" he said. She gave him a look that I am not allowed to describe to you. "Fine, thank you for getting me out of the tree and I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"No problem," she said, jumping out of the tree after him, landing with far more grace than he'd managed. "Hey, since we're going to the same place, you want to go together?"

"Sure. And why walk when we can fly?" She was rightfully suspicious of this and had no interest in joining in the flying, seeing where it ended the last time. I may have forgotten to mention this earlier, but she was brilliant and had incredible powers of foresight. Winds swirled around the guy and launched him right back into the embrace of the tree.

He gave her an embarrassed look and she said, "I'll be right up."

"My hero," he said.

And then they journeyed on through the Forest of I Didn't Even Know That Was There and to the temple where they met the other two heroes and they kicked evil butt and the girl burned down the vile, vile, cloak snatching tree after it kept snatching the windy boy's cloak every time he flew by, and they lived happily ever after. Most of the time. The End.