Kíli is very much like Thorin.
He never smiles.
He never laughs.
He shows up to Bag End alone.
He dies on Ravenhill alone.
Only to be reunited with Fíli.
But Kíli has aged. He's no longer the child Fíli knows and it's horrible. When he first sees Fíli, he cries because it's a striking reminder of how long it's been, how much he's truly missed Fíli. Fíli is still a young child, old enough to know that his brother is more important but still so young that he never thought he could actually die.
Kíli had always thought - and he had thought often - that finally being able to see Fíli would be wonderful but it's not. It's none of the emotions he thought he'd feel. It's just pain and misery and even guilt - guilt that his brother had died for him when they were so young that it had never occurred to them that perhaps death was closer than they ever knew. He still pictures clearly the confusion - and fear - on Fíli's face as dark scarlet blood bleached the snow red. He still remembers that he believed Fíli would be fine - after all, Fíli was his big brother: he could do anything, survive anything.
Tears are blinding him but he can still feel Fíli trying to climb onto him. Was Fíli really this small? Surely he was much bigger and stronger and - but Kíli had exaggerated him. Of course he had exaggerated his brother. His hero.
Small, tiny, breakable hands claw at his hair and Fíli teases him for his short beard. Had the situation not been so miserable for Kíli he would have laughed and swatted at his brother, but here it is only a catalyst for more sobs. His beard should be longer; it should be long enough to make up for Fíli's inability to grow one. Does Fíli not see how he cries? Does Fíli not care how much pain he's causing? Kíli does not dare pull Fíli away for they have been separated for far too long - but he wants to leave Fíli. He's supposed to be happy, supposed to be thrilled, that he can see his brother. Kíli almost wishes he were alive without Fíli. It would be preferable to the waves of despair that he's drowning in now. Had he known that this would happen he would never had agreed to go with Thorin. He only agreed to go because of how suicidal it was, that perhaps he would die at the end and finally see Fíli after so long. His regrets spiral into anger and he can't stop himself from screaming at Fíli.
"This is all your fault. You shouldn't have died!"
Kíli stomps off, leaving Fíli confused and upset, wondering how he could have possible made a bad decision to save his little brother's life.
A/N: I've had this story done for a few months but only now have I found a title. That's seriously the worst part. Thanks to Sophie for editing this!