(My buddies and I discussed what the last episode of Hetalia could be. We all agreed that it should be where everyone tells their darkest secrets! It was hilarious. XD )

"Okay everyone, it's time to begin." Germany said and took his seat. "Who will start?" he asked.

"I-I will. Hello, my name is Ukraine…"

"Hi, Ukraine."

"U-um…" Ukraine took out a needle. She sobbed and said shakily, "M-my boobs aren't real!" To prove her point, she took the needle and popped the globes on her chest like balloons. She sobbed once more and took her seat. "Well," started America, "That's one off my list…"

"Hi, like, my name is Poland!"

"Hi Poland."

"Well like for starters…" he coughed and said, "I am NOT gay." He said in a deep voice. "Humph. And I WILL make your capital Warsaw." Poland took his seat with everyone staring at him. "What are you looking at, punk?" he rumbled.

"H-hello, I'm Lithuania…"

"Hi Lithuania."

"W-well…I'm not who you think I am…"he said. "Then who are you?" asked a random nation. Lithuania breathed in deeply and replied, "I am actually…a Japanese ghost."

"….."

"WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE A JAPANESE GHOST?"

"Privet, I am Russia!"

"Commie."

"I am not who you think I am either, Comrades! I am…" He removed his coat and scarf, "…actually two midgets in a coat!" With that, the Russia on top jumped off of the Russia on the bottom and the two sat somewhere.

"…What the hell was that?"

"Good day, I am England."

"Good day England."

Said nation sighed deeply. "…My eyebrows…they're not real…" He took a wet paper towel and wiped them off. Underneath were normal ones.

"….Why did you have them in the first place?"

"The bigger the better America, the bigger the better."

"Bonjour, I am France~"

"Wanker."

"Ahem…the reason I am always trying to 'spread the love'…" everyone leaned in closer. "It is to hide the fact that I have a small dick."

America literally kicked France's ass out of the conference room. "This place is only for countries with big dicks! You baby carrot!"

"Yo, I'm the Hero!"

"Hello America."

"Ahem, I AM NOT A FATASS. I actually love healthy foods!" he took out a carrot a munched on it. "'Sup, Doc."

"Bastards."

"Romano."

"I hate tomatoes and I love potatoes. The end."

"Hi, I'm the King of the Nordics!"

"Hello Denmark."

"I….I…" Denmark grabbed at his hair and took it off. "I'm bald." His head glistened in the light. (lol Que-ball)

"Hey, I'm Cuba!"

"Fatass."

"Speaking of fat-asses…" he removed his shirt to reveal something shocking. " I'm actually wearing a fat suit."

"Veh~, I'm Italy!"

"Hi Italy."

"Heh…hehehehehe…I'm going kill all of you…right now…heh…heheheheh…"

The room instantly emptied.

~End

Epilogue:

"America?"

"Huh? Oh Iggy and Fenchie! 'Sup!"

"We…we have something to tell you amour…"

"Eh?"

"I…." England started. His accent suddenly changed to a French one, "I am actually the real France, Amerique~"

"And I…" 'France' started, in a British accent, "Am actually the real Britain."

"HOLY SHI-," America fainted.

(A/N: I suck XD )