I'm trying my hand at an angst fic, yes I know I said I wouldn't start any new stories untill I finished my other one, but I couldn't help myself sue me -.-
Originally this story was going to be called 'Big Girl's Don't Cry' but then I changed to 'Beautiful Soul'. I've re-written this story three times. This is the third and final one (Hopefully) :D
Without further adieu, enjoy ^-^
Sakura, wake up... please?
Hmmm...
Sakura wake up.
No just let me sleep. I don't want to wake up; just... just let me be.
I'm sorry but I can't do that, school's knocking on our door.
I opened one eye to the darkness of my room and focused my sight on the flashing red numbers of my clock on my nightstand displaying that it was five in the morning. Sighing, finally awake I rolled over to my side and stared at my wall as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world. I took a last glance at my clock deciding that enough time had passed. I sat up in my bed and winced in pain as I stretched forgetting about the cuts on my back. I realized that I had collapsed on my bed with the same clothes I had came home from school with yesterday; it was probably torn in the back covered with some blood and the collar might be a little stretched. The blood stain might be able to come out but there's nothing I'll be able to do about the tears in the back.
I swung my legs to the side of the bed, carefully so I wouldn't open my wounds, and let them touch the cold floor. A shiver ran down my spine as I stood up and headed to my bathroom and closed my door waiting a few seconds to make sure my mom had not woken up. I turned on the shower and let the hot water run as I stripped down to nothing. I was right, my shirt was torn in the back beyond repair. I guess I can't do much at all then. I threw the shirt into the small garbage bin and faced the mirror on top of the sink. I turned around carefully, keeping my head in place, to assess the damage this time. My face contorted at the sight, two nasty, slightly jagged lines went across my back diagonally starting from my shoulder to my hip and the second one went from right under my armpit to my ribs followed by a couple of nicks and cuts; it looked like a jagged 'X'. I tried to take some of the dry blood off to see how deep it was and winced at the contact, I let my hand fall and started towards the shower before the mirror started to fog up and then I wouldn't be able to see anything, but something caught my eye; there were marks on my neck. Finger marks going all around already turning purple.
I entered the shower very carefully but seeing as I had no way around it I turned around letting the hot water hit my back little by little, hissing and wincing the whole time. I don't know how long I stayed there letting the water numb my back as I watched the bloodied water swirl down at my feet and then down the drain. It's funny how I can feel the difference between my tears and the shower's water. Maybe not a funny 'haha' but a sad kind of funny, you know. I grabbed my body wash and started cleaning my self being very careful as I washed my back and rinsed it. I stayed under the water until it started to become cold and I took that as my queue to exit. I turned off the water and grabbed my towel that was over the railing of the shower curtains so I could dry myself. I wrapped it around me and stepped out of the tub towards the sink so I could wash my teeth. After that was down I turned around again to check my wounds now that it was clean.
I personally think it looked better covered in blood. The lines where red, probably from the hot water... or not, swollen, and very deep. The raw-ness of it scared me, it was horrible to look at and the affects of the hot water had worn off. I applied some anti-bacterial cream from my medicine cabinet on the side wall and then open a package of rolled up bandages, you know the ones that the ninjas use in the movies, and bandaged myself up.
Walking swiftly across my room towards my closet I grabbed my uniform from its respective hangers and got dressed. My school uniform was very basic, a long sleeved white buttoned up shirt, a red tie, and a navy blue skirt. I could either wear the school's jacket or blazer which were both the same color as the skirt. I buttoned up my shirt all the way to the collar and put the school jacket on.
Because my bedsheets were stained, with blood, I had to undress my bed throw the sheets into a heap next to my nightstand and then head to my closet for new ones. Picking up the sheets on the floor, after I dressed my bed, I glanced at the clock. Sigh, only twenty minutes left before I have to wake up Tsuki for school. Walking down the hallway I stopped outside of Tsuki's door and took a peek inside. His back was to the door and all I could actually see of him was the top of his little cute head. Closing the door I silently walked passed my mother's room and headed down the stairs to the laundry room. Noticing here and there a couple of blood stains and some puddles of blood from when I couldn't get up, I'd have to clean that too. Once the washer started doing its job I got the mop and some Clorox and started cleaning the floor were the blood was. In fifteen minutes I was done, by now it must have been at least 6:35AM. Deciding that the floor had enough of my wrath I put the mop and Clorox away and headed up the stairs to wake up Tsuki.
As I sat in his bed a smile spread across my face as I saw my little angel's face; so peaceful.
"Tsuki, come on wake up. It's time for school." I gently shook his shoulder once, twice. He opened one beautiful green eye and promptly closed it again emanating fake snoring sounds. Chuckling, I told him that I knew he was awake.
"But onē-chan, I'm tired." he whined covering himself up with his blankets again.
"Hmmm," I stood up walked to his door, "then I guess you don't want any ice-cream after school. Oh well, more for me then." I heard him gasp and struggled to get up from his bed "Okay, I'm up, I'm up! But only if you pinky promise that you'll take me for ice-cream." I turned back around and sat on his bed enlacing his small pinky with mine, "I pinky promise." I gave him a smile and kissed his forehead, "Now come on munchkin it's time to get you dressed." I said standing up and ruffling his blond hair.
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"Hey sis?"
"Yeah?"
"Does mommy love us?" I almost tripped at his unexpected question. In all reality I don't know if she does. I would like to think she at least cares for Tsuki but she's never there for him. We're her children though right? She should love us. On the days she does get up early and actually takes the time to get ready, fix herself up, and make breakfast everything seems normal like nothing ever happened. She would actually seem caring and loveable, like the mother she is supposed to be. She has never hit Tsuki, but of course if she dared to I'd kill her, so that leads me to believe that she at least cares for Tsuki. But he asked if she loved us as in plural; I'm not so sure she loves me, she probably does but in her own way.
"Onē-chan?"
We finally reached his school, I let go of his hand and squatted so I could meet him at eye level, "Of course she loves you, don't ever doubt that she doesn't." I gave him a soft smile, "But what about you?"
My smile didn't falter," She... loves me too. Now give me a hug and go on inside, class is about to start." he gave me the biggest hug ever with a quick kiss on the cheek and then I stood there watching him race inside with his other little friends. Once i knew he was safely inside I started towards my own school.
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"The Emperors during this time, which spanned the entire Meiji and Taishō, and the lesser part of the Showa eras, are now known in Japan by their-"
I drowned out Kurenai-sensei's voice on her lecture of Imperial Japan and watched my namesake outside the window. I watched how the petals floated carelessly on the breeze. It's autumn so the petal have begun falling, everywhere you go pink petals are everywhere; like pink snow. Just floating here and there, it almost seemed like they're playing with the wind.
"Ms. Haruno."
Will I ever play with the wind?
"Ms. Haruno."
Maybe someday I will.
"Ms. Haruno!"
"Huh? What?" I heard snickers from around the class, I felt my face become hot when I realize that Sensei had been calling me for some time now...
"Stand up and read to the class from where I left off." her voice sounded a little irritated when she had to tell me where she left off, I could practically see a vein popping.
"Oh right," I stood up and cleared my throat, "On January 3, 1868, Satsuma- Chōshū forces seized the imperial palace in Kyoto, and the following day had the fifteen-year-old Emperor Meiji declare his own restoration to full power. Althou-"
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During lunch I headed towards the restrooms and made sure nobody was there before I went into a stall and took out my 'makeup bag' which was actually my little aid kit. I took off my jacket, undid my tie, unbuttoned my shirt and took it off. I placed them on the little convenient hook on the door. I undid the bandages I binded on myself, which were by the way kind of bloodied I'm surprised it didn't stain my white shirt, I added more anti-bacterial cream on it and binded myself with a new roll of bandages. I put my clothes back on and opened the stall.
I threw away the old bandages in the big trashcan next to the door and walked back to the sink. I looked at myself in the mirror, I looked kind of pale just a little. I washed my hands thoroughly, dried them, grabbed my stuff and headed out.
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I walked through the hallways, my steps echoing since it was empty, everyone else was at lunch. I stopped right next to a big window that over looked the lunch patio. I usually skip my last two classes because I have to pick up my little brother from school and stay with him once I get home. I would never leave him alone with our mom, I never know what mood she'll be in. I already explained it to the administrators, lying a little bit here and there to make it seem that it was because my mom worked late and wouldn't be able to pick him up. So my teachers mail me my work or hand me my work when ever I have the chance to see them. Checking the time on the clock inside the nearest classroom, I began walking towards the school's entrance and to Tsuki's school.
Review please:D k-thnx