Of Discussions, Revealed Truths, and Signs of Love
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, sadly. Although I DO own this story, which you will hopefully enjoy :D
Summary: Just a short, cute little one-shot based off of 'Born This Way' and the whole Lucy Caboosey story/Rachel's almost-nose job. Written because I felt that my life lacked many cute Faberry one-shots and wanted to write one myself.
A/N: Like mentioned above, I simply wanted to write a cute Faberry one-shot, so I did. And this is the result. I hope you guys like it. Oh and for those of you who have been reading (and some of you, reviewing, which I am very grateful for) my current multi-chapter story, Only the Good Die Young, the next chapter will hopefully be out soon. Anyway, on with the story! Review, or don't. But it would be nice if you did xD
Oh and BTW, it's written in the second person. I mean, it's pretty obvious, but…whatever.
~.~
She was sitting outside on the grassy hill, facing away from the school, not particularly caring about the pouring rain, when you saw her.
She was not wearing her normal ugly animal-sweater-and-skirt ensemble, but instead a simple pair of jeans and a sweatshirt to keep her warm in the cold weather that the rain had brought. You frowned, disappointed by this, for reasons that were unknown everywhere except in your head.
But alas, you still found yourself working your way over to her, and sitting down next to her, offering up the umbrella that you thoughtfully cared to bring. She looked surprised as she took it, helping you hold it between the two of you. You two fit under the polka-dot shelter perfectly, and it seemed as if the situation had presented itself as a sign that you were meant to be together.
Figuring that you weren't going to speak first, she took a deep breath and spoke. "Why are you here, Quinn?"
You sighed, deciding that if you didn't get the words out right then and there, you would never be able to speak them. "I simply didn't know where else to go, and I knew that you always came here when you were upset, so…here I am."
Rachel looked up at you through her wet fringed bangs and smiled slightly. "How did you know that?"
"What?" you asked, even though it was pretty obvious.
She smiled a bigger smile, willing to play the 'I'm going to act innocent and unsuspecting and you're going to play along' game. "That," she said, looking down. "That I come here when I'm upset."
You shrugged, suddenly a little bit uncomfortable. "Kurt told me where you'd be." And it was half the truth, half a lie. "I was quite surprised at first, since it's just so ironic to come here, of all places.
Rachel looked back up into your face, biting her lip in such a way that made you melt on the inside. "I heard about 'Lucy Caboosey'."
You sighed, trying not to cry. On the outside, you didn't seem all too upset about it, but the truth was that Lauren opened up some wounds better left closed. "Yeah, I kinda figured you did," you said in a monotone. "It's just-it's so embarrassing."
"Quinn," the brunette started, shaking her head and smiling sadly. "Everybody has embarrassing moments. It's alright. The thing is, I don't really understand why you changed."
You bit your lip, trying to decide whether it was best to evade the question or answer truthfully. You went for a mixture of both. "You just don't understand, Rachel. I had to. I couldn't face being that girl at McKinley."
"Damn right I don't understand, Quinn. All I know is, if you had used your personality instead of your looks to get you to the top, regardless of how you looked, you would have been just as popular."
You laughed bitterly, shaking your head. "I wish it was that easy, I really do," you said. "But the truth is, it's just not. And while I wish I could be a non-bitch all the time, I can't and I'm sorry for that."
"Why are you apologizing to me, Quinn?" Rachel's face was unusually hard to read, and this frustrated you.
You sighed for the millionth time, now because of frustration. And wishing that she would understand, wishing that you didn't have to draw it out for her. Finally, you found the words you needed. "Because you deserve it the most."
Rachel looked down, slightly embarrassed. "Why are you even here?" she repeated the first thing she had asked, only this time it was in a softer voice.
"Honestly, I…well, I'm not one hundred percent sure," you answered. "But I know it has something to do with the fact that Mr. Shue's assignment really changed me. And I know that sounds cliché, but…well, it's the truth."
All of a sudden, the brunette cut her eyes back up to yours. "Quinn, do you think I should have gotten that nose job?"
You closed your eyes, willing yourself not to say the words that you really wanted to. "No, Rach, I really don't," you said truthfully.
"But why? I mean, I sort of realize now that I don't need one and I will never, ever think about it again, but I thought that you of all people might think differently, seeing as you got one yourself."
Her words stung, mostly because you knew they were true, but also because they made you feel like a superficial bitch. But because you knew that she didn't mean it like that, since she was Rachel and all, and she had a tendency to say what she said without thinking first.
Scooting closer to her, you put your right hand on her left knee, and angled yourself so that you were almost in front of her. "Rachel, I may have gotten a nose job. But you have to understand that I did that for two reasons. One, I was sooo superficial back then. I wanted people to like me for my looks, not for the real me, which I see now was stupid of me. Two, I did care about myself, and I still do. It might have been in a superficial way, like I just mentioned, but it's true. I did.
"But Rachel, you have a natural beauty, something that I could never even dream of having. You have this-this glow about you, and it's both physical and not and…well, to put it lightly, you're just so beautiful. You shouldn't feel like you have to get a nose job. You just shouldn't."
The brunette looked up at you, her eyes glazed over with tears. "Thank you, Quinn," she said genuinely, nodding. "I needed that."
"You're welcome. Oh, wait I forgot to ask you: why are you upset?"
"Huh?"
You smiled. "Kurt said you were here, so you must be upset about something."
"Oh, right," Rachel said, chuckling. "No, I'm not upset. Sure, I do come here when upset, but I'm really just here to think."
Curiously, you asked, "About what?"
She turned away for the first time now, although you could see a blush creeping up her neck where her sweatshirt didn't cover it. "Just. Things," she whispered, and it occurred to you that she was embarrassed about something.
"Hey, Miss 'Everyone's-embarrassed-about-something,' what is it? C'mon, you can tell me if I told you."
"Umm. No thank you."
And because you knew that she wouldn't ever tell you, you stopped bugging her. The silence in the air was palpable for awhile, yet you stayed there because it was quite soothing, just sitting next to her. You guessed that she stayed there because she was still thinking, about whatever it was she was thinking about before you came.
You had been watching a piece of grass flap in the wind (really, it was pieces of grass, but whatever) when finally Rachel spoke up.
"Quinn, do you ever think about love?"
The question shocked you, and you raised your eyebrows before answering. You never really thought that you'd be sitting on the hill behind your school, talking with the school loser about love, but there you were. "Yeah, I guess…although, can I tell you something?"
"Yeah, go on ahead."
"Well…" you trailed off, tracing a circle on the brunette's knee with your thumb. "I can honestly say that I do not think I'm in love with Finn."
"Oh really?" Rachel sat up straighter, interested in your gossip.
You nodded. "Yeah. I mean, he's really sweet and all, but…I don't know. I just feel like something's…missing with him. Have you ever felt like that before?"
Rachel laughed. "It's the way I've felt for a really long time. I dated Noah because I thought dating a bad boy would give me some adventure, which it didn't. I dated Jesse because I was trying to get over Finn. And finally, I dated Finn because I thought I was in love with him, when really I was just in need of being loved. And I didn't mind how I got it.
"But now I sort of see how wrong I was about it all, and I have Mr. Shue to thank for that. This whole assignment changed me, too. However, it was in a different way than yours. For me…well, it changed me by showing me that you should just be honest with yourself and if you want something, you should just go for it, y'know? What's that quote, the one from that movie…?"
You laughed and shrugged. "What movie, exactly?"
"Umm…that one with those boys in that private school, and Robin Williams is their teacher, and that one boy wants to be an actor but—"
"His father doesn't approve, and on the night when he acts in a play, his father flips out on him and he commits suicide and everyone blames it on the teacher. Yeah, I've seen it, remember, it's "Dead Poets Society." But what's that got to do with anything?"
Rachel snapped her fingers. "Oh yeah, I remember the quote now. Carpe diem. It means 'seize the day.' So anyway, you know I just felt like I needed to do what that quote says and seize the day. Although I'm not quite sure how to do it."
You bit your lip. "Well, maybe if you just tell me what exactly it is that you want to do, I can help you."
She immediately flushed bright red. "Oh no, I couldn't ask you to do that. I mean, you've got your own things to do, and besides. It's quite embarrassing."
"Oh, I'm sure it's not that embarrassing," you said, thinking that your own secret was much more embarrassing than whatever she was thinking.
"Alright, fine," she finally cracked. "But I'll warn you, it might come across as…well, desperate. And quite stupid. And really, really surprising. And—"
"Oh my goodness, just spit it out," you said with fake annoyance, smiling at how cute she was nervous.
"Alright, so. There's this girl. Yeah I know, a girl. Big surprise, I'm bisexual. But anyway. She's a wonderful girl, and sooo pretty, too. The problem is, though, she doesn't know it. The pretty thing, yeah she knows it. But the wonderful thing is completely lost on her. She despises herself, and thinks that she has to resort to fake measures to be liked. But I still like her, because she's just so fun to be around and she is this amazing person who deserves to be loved. I love her."
"Oh," you said curtly, trying your best to hide your disappointment. See, Quinn, I told you she doesn't like you back.
Rachel raised both her eyebrows at you and asked, "Is there something wrong?"
You shook your head, swallowing to keep from crying. "No, nothing's wrong…so you really like this girl, huh?"
Her face immediately lit up, replacing the worry with love. It was obvious to you that she was smitten with whoever this lucky bitch was. "Yeah, I really do, Quinn. I just wish she knew it. And liked me back. Because then everything would just click, everything would just fall right into place and I wouldn't have to keep worrying about all of this. It would all be so easy."
"Then why don't you just go for it? The worst that she can do is say no," you said, now putting your own sadness behind you.
She sighed and chuckled a little bit. "Well, for one thing she's straight, which I know for a fact because she has a boyfriend and also has shown basically no interest for girls whatsoever. And for another thing, I don't deserve her. She's so much prettier and wonderful than me."
You frowned and put your arms around her. "No, Rach, she doesn't deserve you. And if she turns you down, she'll be the one to lose out, I promise you that."
Rachel smiled a real, genuine smile and said, "Thank you, Quinn. So do you think I should go for it?"
"Absolutely," you responded with a smile. You had never been more certain about anything else in your entire life.
"Well, then if you think I should, then I will," she said confidently.
You smiled and gave her a quick hug, figuring it was the most appropriate thing to do at the time.
"Well, I'd better get going, then. I've got a lot to do. Thanks again, Quinn. And I can't believe I'm really doing this!"
You nodded. Rachel was going to get this girl and she was going to be happy. That's all that mattered to you: that she was happy.
And so you watched her go, smiling a sad smile and waving. But as soon as she left, you broke down, wishing that girl was you.
~.~
Later that evening, you were sitting on your bed, finishing up an English essay that you had due the next day when you heard the doorbell ring. Figuring that it was for your mother, you just let it ring and went back to the essay, which was on The Odyssey.
You heard some general chatter and then some footsteps on the stairs. You rolled your eyes, expecting your mother bugging you about something or another, but were surprised when you saw instead a very pretty, petite brunette standing in the doorway holding a bouquet of flowers.
It was Rachel.
"Rachel? What are you doing here?" you asked, a little bit too excitedly. She bit her lip in this extremely adorable way and walked over to your bed awkwardly.
"Can I sit down?" she asked, still biting her lip.
You nodded. "Yeah, but that still doesn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"
Still evading the question, she said, "I…well, I brought these for you." And then she handed you the bouquet of flowers.
Flowers? Evading the question that would completely answer all my own personal ones? Is it possible? But no. It can't possibly be me. I'm nothing like that wonderful girl she described at the school…
In thinking all of these things, you made a sort of disgusted face (accidentally, of course), and Rachel sort of frowned and said, "Maybe I should just go…"
Snapping out of your trance-like state, you took her arm and pulled the already-standing brunette back down on the bed. "No, you're not going anywhere. I want to know why you're here."
Rachel sighed, her face saying, 'It's all or nothing. You can't turn back now.' Taking a deep breath, she began. "So a long, long time ago, I was this little girl in fifth grade. Of course, you didn't know me back then, since you came to McKinley Freshman year of high school. But anyway. I had—and still have, of course—two wonderful, loving, proud gay dads. And they taught me that it was alright to love whoever I wanted to. For that reason, I've known—and accepted—that I'm bisexual since fifth grade. But unfortunately, society had something to say about homosexuality, and I was afraid. Afraid of rejection, of social alienation. So I didn't act on any of my feelings. Instead, I just dated boys, sticking to the straight part of my sexuality. And don't get me wrong, they were nice guys—mostly, anyway—and I was most definitely attracted to them, but I just…well, truth be told, I felt something missing. That's why I didn't have sex with Jesse or let Finn get to third base with me. It's also why I did nothing more with Puck than kiss. I wanted my first time to be special, and it was recently that I realized that I wanted it to be with a girl. One certain girl.
"This girl had been on my mind since I met her. She's funny, and sweet—when she wants to be, anyway—and soon I came to realize that I loved, well actually love, her. But the problem was that she didn't seem to be interested in me. At all. In fact, it was quite the opposite—she hated me. At least, she acted like it. Well anyway. So I decided not to act on my feelings. Again. For the second time in my short life. And then came Mr. Shue's 'Born This Way' assignment. Like I told you earlier today, the whole assignment completely changed me and inspired me to, for the first time in a long time, act on my utmost feelings of affection.
"That being said, I suppose it's time to stop teasing you and reveal who this girl really is. Quinn, I love you. I love everything about you, and not just the physical aspects. I love that you express yourself through Glee club, I love that you are actually really sweet when you're in the right mood, and I love how you bite the inside of your cheek when you're sweet. And I just wish…I just wish you'd feel the same way. But obviously you don't, and obviously I'm making a huge fool of myself, and obviously I will never be able to face you again, and obviously I should just leave right now and forget this ever happened."
With that, Rachel stood up, walked over to the door, and got ready to leave. It registered that she was about to walk out of your life forever, and you quickly got up and ran over to her. "Rachel! Wait!" you said exasperatedly, and she turned around.
"Quinn, I've got to leave. I just…well, I just made a huge fool of myself, and I think that I should not be standing here right now."
You walked closer to her. "Rachel, just hear me out. I love you too, more than you will ever know. I didn't say anything because I was just so shocked and surprised and happy beyond belief. You honestly do not know how happy I am that you said all of those things."
And then what happened next was so very amazing, just like you knew it would be. As you leaned in and your lips met hers, you saw fireworks, and hoped that she did, too. She let out a little sigh of contentment, a sound that was music to your ears. You moved her up against the door, grinding against her, hungry for something that you had been deprived of for so long.
She let out a long string of moans, but when you attempted to unbutton the jeans that she still had on, she moved away and shook her head. "No, not here," she said breathlessly.
You must have looked hurt, because Rachel quickly shook her head again and said, "I don't mean that, I mean…well, just not up against the door. I want this to be romantic."
"No problem," you said, and took her hand. You led her to your bed, where the two of you made love as passionately as possible.
And as you lay together afterwards, both of you knew that it meant to be. "Rach?" you asked, intertwining your hand with hers.
"Yeah?"
You smiled. "I'm so glad that I turned out to be that girl."
~.~
So, what did ya think? Sorry if it was too long. The way I had it originally planned, it was way too short, like 500 words, so I decided to make it longer. And, well, it expanded into this. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. I know I sure did ;)