It never really crossed her mind. Not at all. Her 5-years-younger self would never even thought that she'd be lying right here, in the middle of her bed, wrapped in the arms of this man. The man who ride along the crazy roller coaster of being the objects of the deceased Charlotte DiLaurentis' play.

No. Spencer Hastings never thought that she would feel anything more than platonic love for Caleb Rivers. Not even when she heard her name called from the opposite platform that day in Spain. And not when they watched the sunrise in Retiro Park while drinking away bottles of Sangria.

She wasn't sure when this -whatever this is- first happened. After their adventure in Europe he has become one of the most prominent figure in her life. Before, he was just a minor player, always there but not with enough significant to her. Now, she was convinced that he was slowly becoming the lead role. But this is still Spencer Hastings we're talking about, of course she is the director of her own life.

She remembered their midnight phone calls. When she was still in university, or even after she graduated and began her first job. No matter how tenacious she is, Spencer is still human. Sometimes the pressure became too much that she felt she'd never make it. She would pick up her phone and hit the speed dial. No matter what time it was, he would always find the time to take her calls. And she find that talking to him really helps. Sometimes he would just listen to her rambles and remind her that she was Spencer Hastings, if she could handle A, she absolutely will be able to get over what ever problem was happening then. Sometimes, in a very rare situation, all she did was cry to the phone and he would still listen patiently until she was ready to talk or simply feel better.

She remembered when she got Ali's letter, well the court's letter. She knew that Alison have been trying to get Charlotte, A, out of the hospital ever since she got in, but she never thought that the doctors and the judge would even consider it. She remembered the slight panic that overcome her body upon reading the court's request to testify for Charlotte's freedom, voice of victims, she thought. She didn't want anything to do with that person, she'd be lying if she said that she has forgiven A. She clearly didn't want to be the one who decided A's future, she's had enough of that person. She just want to forget her and the things she had done to her and her friends. Frankly she was one the reason she rarely visited her hometown. She remembered him coming and sitting in that bench in front of The US Capitol beside her. He take a look at the letter and a look of understanding settled on his face. He squeezed her hand and stare right into her eyes. He told her that if she didn't feel like it, she didn't have to do it. And that he'd always support whatever decision she made.

And of course, she remembered when she realize what she was feeling. The instant guilt that plagued her mind. She tried, God she did try, to get over it. She denied it. No. It was so very wrong. But, how could something that was so wrong felt so right. She even tried to stay away from him. She buried herself in her work and ignore him. At first, he was confused of this sudden change, but after sometimes -and a couple of 'no's from her- he seemed to realize that she needed some space. So when he finished his work in D.C. he packed up and leave with only a note on her front door and a bag of their favorites Chinese food left hanging on her door. Over that summer they slowly grew apart. She was miserable. At that point Caleb had become the one constant factor in her life and his absence was taking a toll on her. And then she realized that she would rather pretend that she felt nothing for him and have him in her life than not having him at all. Now she knew that was the summer he went to Rosewood and have that fishing trip with Toby. So when her boss asked her to went along him to New York, she showed up at Caleb's front door. And the rest was history.

They were inseparable. Whenever she visit New York, she'd visit him and vice versa. Eventually Caleb finished up his contract in New York and was looking for another job. She wasn't exactly sure why he decided to left New York. He came to D.C. and stayed at her apartment. So their late phone calls turned into not-a-date nights, midnight outings, hiking, and so many more. He eventually find a job and rent an apartment 5 blocks away. She would never admit it, but she missed having him in her apartment.

So when the police declared that Charlotte DiLaurentis was dead, he was the first person she called. She assured him that she was fine but she might need to cancel their scheduled trip next week. He insisted on coming to Rosewood an the next thing she knew, she was picking him up. His arms automatically went around her and hold her there. He asked how she was, and this time when she said she'd be fine, she was sure of her own answer.

They were just passing through the Brew when he asked if they could go to Radley first. She automatically understand what he wanted to do and nodded. When he asked if she'd come to her room with him, she said no. Partly because she knew it was the first time they saw each other after Caleb moved out of their place in NY and no doubt things were still a little bit complicated, and partly because she couldn't handle being in the same room as her best friend and her ex while she felt so strongly about him. She was dreading the moment she had to be in that situation, she was afraid that Hanna would see through her facade and find out that Spencer is secretly in love with Caleb.

When her mom asked him to stay and help with her campaign, she was both happy and afraid. Afraid that she wouldn't be able to hide her feelings. Because when he wasn't here, she could pretend that nothing was going on. But he is here. And it was only a matter of time before anyone would find out the truth.

When she stand in the Marin's kitchen with Hanna staring into what felt like her soul, she decided that she couldn't lie to her. Hanna was her best friend, her Hanna-Banana, and she'd leaned that it would be best to tell the truth rather than her finding out from anyone else but her. And she decided that if Hanna is okay with it, then maybe it really was okay to have feelings for her best friend's ex. No. Caleb wasn't just Hanna's ex boyfriend. He was more than that to Spencer.

So in front of that fireplace in her barn, she decided that there was no better time to do this than the present. After she said those words and looked straight into his eyes, he grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together. When he touched her face, she saw the same desire reflected back from his eyes. She burnt with desire for him, and when he kissed her, she could feel the same fire in his kisses. Last night, they finally release years of longing and hiding their feelings for each other.

And now here she was, staring at the face of the man she love. Yes, love. Somewhere along the way, she realized that it was love and she decided that she won't waste anymore time. They spent years dancing around each other, laughing half-heartedly when people says they were anything more than just friends. She was so tired of pretending. No more. Sure, by now she was an expert liar. But with him, she didn't want to. Not anymore.

As if feeling her stare he opened his eyes. He smiled lazily and muttered a sleepy greeting.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" He said.

She brushed some stubbornly wild hair out of his face before answering. "There's too much going on in my mind..."

He didn't say anything. He just adjusted his grip on her body so that her head was resting on his chest and both of his arms were holding her body close to his own.

"Caleb..." She began.

He sighed but didn't release his hold on her. "I know we need to talk Spence. But, let's wait till morning. You kinda wear me out."

She playfully slap his bare chest. She couldn't believe he'd joke about that. Alas it was true, she too, was tired. It clearly been a while since she felt another's touch.

Caleb laugh and shushed her protest. He softly kissed her forehead and close his eyes.

"Mmmmmkayyy. Night, Caleb." She said. He didn't say anything.

Eventually her eyes dropped and she was lulled into a dreamless sleep. Little did she know what was waiting for her in the morning.