A/N- It is a little different from what I do but it still is a Dramione. Enjoy.
Dear Ron,
It seems that when I just start to get over you, it feels like you know. Its like you have a signal that goes to your head that says that "Warning she is starting to like someone else!" It annoys me to no end. I tried to get over the fact that you left me. Trying to get over the fact that you have a new girlfriend and a new life.
It doesn't make it right.
It doesn't mean that I am jealous over the fact that you have a person to share the night with and to be able to spend the days with. To have them be able to have you hold them in your arms. I understand that. I eventually will be able to love and be able to have that one day. But you left me, alone, with a child to raise. By myself.
It doesn't make it better.
It means that I get to watch you each day at work as you laugh with our friends and colleagues. It means that I get to see you walk around the office every day. And it kills me to see this. It kills me each day that I see her run into your arms and kiss like we used to. It is at that point that I am missing the comfort of someone, your, arms around me. Giving what I thought was the love of the world.
It doesn't help.
I can live without you. I can. I can wake up each morning to see the smiling face of the child we made together. Wake up to see new things that she learns and new things that she does. It makes me happy to know that she will grow up to be exactly like me and that you will have to live with that fact of her being me. All the quirks and all the bad. It was a choice that you decided to make and I stopped blaming myself for the fact that you had left.
It started to change.
It was the day that you announced that you were engaged, in front of everyone that we worked with, that I thought you weren't worth the tears that I made fall for you. It was a minute that you asked that our daughter be the flower girl that I thought that you were worth nothing. It was when you said that you still loved me more but you still had to marry your fiance, that I knew I was never worth anything to you. You were worth everything to me and now you are just the father of my child.
It changed one day.
I don't know when it changed. I really don't. It probably changed the day he came into the office, looking kind of menacing, that I thought he was attractive. It may of been the constant bantering that we had that made it easier for me to say yes when he asked me for a cup of coffee one night. It could have been the first night that we made love, yes made love, but I think that it was a couple months after that night of coffee that I allowed him to see our daughter. It wasn't something that I planned to do, it was just something that happened. A choice that I don't regret for one moment.
It was the best choice.
I fell in love with him. It was a something that I know that I didn't wish for. I fell in love with all the good and bad. I fell in love with the him the day that he helped me take our daughter to her first christmas pageant. God it was when he was looking like the doting father and you were no where to be seen. It was when she cried in his arms after because she realized that dad wasn't there. It was then that I fell in love with him.
It was right.
I couldn't believe that all in all, that my second wedding, would be this beautiful. It was something out of a dream. All the white and the people surrounding me that loved me. Our daughter standing beside me at the alter while he married the two us. Not just me, but her as well. I cried like a baby because he wanted the two of us. Oh it wasn't easy to get to where we were back then. No. We had our fights and our blow ups. We still fight and argue, and it will probably be that way until the day that we die. Do I care? No. Cause at the end of the day I know that he will be there for me. I know that he will be there for our daughter.
It's all better now.
I sit here waiting for the birth of my third child and I write this because I need to get this out to you. I forgive you. Hard to believe huh? But I still forgave you and I hope that you forgave me. I am so sorry that our daughter doesn't talk to you and I am sorry that I never made her. She made her choice, as you made yours. You will always be dad to her but he is daddy. I am sorry for that. Truly. He asked me to do this. To make sure that I would be able to live my life with the decisions I made. To forgive not you, but myself. Yes, Draco did this for me. So I hope that when this reaches you that you will find it in your heart to forgive her and me.
But we moved on and it still...
Doesn't make it right but moving on is the best thing that we could do for each other.
From,
Hermione