Enjoy ;)

Heavy rain was pouring down on her as she walked along a lonely road with an unknown destination ahead. The drops, heavy and cold, were whipped around her petite body mercilessly. But Tauriel did not notice, nor did she care. The violent shivering, caused by the biting nightly winds which are reaching their deadly fingers out to caress her skin, had long ago numbed her body.

All she could feel now was the heavy weight of her heart, for it was filled with pain, regret and unfulfilled promises.

It had been three days since the battle had ended. Three days since there was no place for her in this world anymore. The doors to her home had been closed the day she had chosen Kíli over her king's order. The weight of her decision might not been distinct to her at that time, but even now that it was, she was more certain than ever that it had been the right one to make. Of what use would she have been, as the commander of the guard, if she disagreed with her own king and was even willing to raise arms against him? Of what use would she have been, knowing that her heart belonged somewhere else? Even if she could, Tauriel would not go back. She didn't belong there anymore. But the place she desired to call home, the place her heart longed to be, had been taken from her. Three days ago.

After the battle she had wanted to stay, really, but that day the dwarfs had lost three of Durin's sons. They did not want an elf, one of the enemies, around to see them grieving. No one had asked her to leave, but the hatred and the pain in their eyes was all Tauriel needed to know.

No one, not even those of the company who had gotten to know her, had lost a second to the thought that she had lost someone as well.

And so she had left, fighting the tears she did not dare to cry. Honestly Tauriel had not known where she was going, and still she didn't. All she knew was that once she would sit down, which she had not dared to do any time since she left, she would not get up again. The pure exhaustion she felt was no excuse.

If she would sit down, her mind would start processing what had happened; her thoughts would drag her into darkness.

She walked through the night for a long time, not wanting to see anything. Occasionally a tear would fight its way up, only to be angrily wiped away a second later, while greedy flames, full of despair and guilt, were eating her up on the inside until only a fading breath of nothing would be left.

Tauriel was so focused on the crashing worlds within her that she did not realize where her path led until she stood in front of an old wooden gate. Behind it lay a small village Tauriel had never laid eyes upon. It looked as uninviting as she imagined herself to be in the very moment. Though she found herself knocking and if it was only out of the slightest crumb of hope left within her that she would be welcome.

A few seconds of silence followed and then a smaller shutter slightly above the level of her eyes was opened. Tauriel could see a pair ob black eyes glaring down at her, but no one spoke. She just could not bring herself to say a word.

" Who has come to us in the darkness of the night if I may ask?"

She finally got herself to speak. " I'm... I'm just a wanderer."

" How does it come that lady travels alone at night? Where are you going?"

" I do not know." She lowered her eyes in embarrassment. She should never have knocked on that gate in the first place. This was a waste of time.

" Well then what brings you to us?" The voice on the other side of the door had a kind touch to it, even though the eyes were cold.

" The... The storm... I... Maybe..."

" Well, come in first of all. We have never denied a traveler the access to our place." The heavy gate made a scratchy sound and a moment later it was opened just wide enough for Tauriel to fit through the gap. The person she had been speaking to was an old man, smaller than she was, hunched over and clad in a dark cloak.

" From the North, huh?" He said under his breath and gave her a sign to follow.

The houses were old fashioned, built out of wood, and not very pretty, but once the old man had led Tauriel inside of an especially rotten building, she was surprised to find a warm and dry room, filled with people. The conversations that had been lively ongoing before came to a sudden pause as the people's eyes fell on her.

" Found her in front of the gate, all shivery and wet." The old man reported to a woman about the same age who stood behind a counter and looked at her like she had never seen an elf in her life. And maybe she hadn't, since Tauriel had no idea how far she had actually walked.

" Well, my dear, for tonight this may be your place!" The old woman said after a few seconds of awkward silence. " What was your name again?"

" Tauriel." Her voice was smaller than expected and she blamed herself for breaking so quickly.

" Oh well, just make yourself comfortable and let me know if you need something, alright?"

She nodded and quickly searched the room for a place where she would be hidden from the other people's gazes. A broad window next to a small fire place was the perfect spot for now and she went to sit in the very edge of the window frame.

On the other side of the room the conversations continued.

The unavoidable was no longer to be delayed, so she leaned her head against the glass and let herself drown in sorrow.

It was not likely for her kin to show emotions, except for anger maybe, especially with people around who might observe it. She had, for a long time, been taught to that emotions were for mankind, only meant for a lifetime, not for eternity.

But right now, with tears running down her face in steady, silent streams, she not care. She had never been good in acting over it anyway. What was the point of it, to be crying on the inside, screaming silently for release that wouldn't come, only to keep a cold masque on the outside.

The rain was whipping against the window, and for the first time since the battle Tauriel did not try to push her thoughts away. Images of all kinds started running through her head and she could see them all clearly in front of her, each worse than the previous one. It started off with her own past, her earliest memories of death, then went on to life she had left behind.

Then the image of her first meeting with Kíli came to her mind. To see his face clearly in front of her, grinning nearly rudely, looking up at her, caused an awful pull in her chest. A quiet sob escaped her and she quickly covered her mouth, pressing her hand nearly painfully against it.

But the images didn't stop. She remembered their first conversation, about the stars and their light.

But ever since Kíli had died, the sky had been clouded. Her thoughts went on, to the time she had nearly lost him for the first time. Then their good bye... The rune stone! She gracefully fished it out of her pocket and stared at it lying in her hand. Oh had she been naive to believe that she could live without him... Maybe it was true what they said, you never know what you have until it's gone.

Guilt tightened her chest, her throat, making it hard for her to breathe. If she just had gone with him.

Someone suddenly came walking into her direction, she could hear the person approaching without even having to look up from the rune stone.

It was the old lady, Tauriel realized and a second later she indeed spoke up. " My dear, I do not want to interrupt your privacy, but I just wanted to check on you..."

" It's okay." She brought out, her voice hoarse.

" What could have happened to such a beautiful young lady that would drag at her heart with such weight..." Tauriel could tell the old lady way seriously sorry for her, which was in a way moving. She looked back at the stone in her hand, the lady's gaze following hers.

" What is this?" She asked with genuine interest.

" It's a rune stone... It bears a promise between two people."

" Is it a tradition where you come from?"

" Not exactly." She smiled sadly. " It was given to me by one of Durin's sons."

" Oh I see." The lady said and then stopped in track. " But if I am not mistaken your kin and Durin's folk have had some... difficulties in the past. How..."

Tauriel really appreciated the old lady's attempt to make her feel better, but currently she did not help much with it.

" I loved him and I let him go. He gave me this stone as a promise to reconnect. But now... he is gone." Honestly Tauriel had no idea where that came from. She didn't even mean to tell anything about herself.

The old lady seemed to read her expression, as she just simply said " Well, you know what they say, my dear. If you truly love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever." With a small smile she got up and went back to the counter where she came from.

But Tauriel knew there would be no coming back. Kíli was gone and she would spend her eternity in grief and regret. There was no point in living forever if it just meant the pain would never fade.

Sighing she leaned her head against the window again. This just didn't feel right, this could not be the end. She could not sit here forever; there had to be something she could do... Whatever it might be. Tauriel was willing to move heaven and earth all by herself.

She would bring Kíli back from the dead, whatever it might take. Though she was aware that she might either succeed or die trying to do so, but either ways, what did she have to loose? She would not spend an eternity asking herself 'what if...?', knowing there might have been something she could have done.

With a swift movement she got up and started for the door. She knew exactly where she had to go.

Before she could open the door, the old lady was at her side again.

" You know, there's always a spark of hope in the world, my dear. It it falls upon the right people, who knows which great fires can arise from it."

" Thank you so much." Tauriel said sincerely and with a small smile and a tiny nod the lady held the door open for Tauriel to hurry through.

After she closed the door again, the lady turned around to her husband who looked at her curiously. " What was that about?"

"Well," She said with a little chuckle, " I think I just saved someone's life."

And even though she had not meant it literally, she had no idea how right she was.

To be continued...

Hang on, floks ;) Everyone will live, yay!