Disclaimer: Kyo Kara Maou belongs to Tomo Takabayashi and others
Chapter 1: De Nile, is not just a river in Egypt
"...So you're still coming right?"
Yuri jerked, swiftly looking up at his girlfriend's inquisitive face. "Ah, sure. Tomorrow Saturday?"
Minami rewarded him with a beaming smile. "Yes! Better be there by five AM okay? The line is sure to be long, and we want to be one of the first in."
"I heard the rollercoaster is over three feet higher than Kingka-Da. Broke the Guinness Records!" exclaimed another classmate.
"Nah, we're more keen on the Water Dragon ride they're featuring. It's the most exciting ride they have. That reminds me, better bring your swimsuits or extra clothing!" Minami cautioned.
"It's a date!" whooped Saito, the class clown. "Amusement park! Amusement park! Heeere we come!"
XXX
"You're not annoyed are you? I mean, I know it was supposed to be a date, but Haruka, that nosybody, got wind of it and invited herself and practically everyone in 2A."
"Mmm, no, not really. The more, the merrier right? I just hate waking up so early," Yuri groaned. "On a weekend too, there should be laws against that!"
Minami laughed, chin-length hair swaying silkily as she shook her head at Yuri. "Just ask Jennifer-obaa-san to wake you up early. She never fails to do so."
"No, thank you," Yuri shuddered. "Her methods should be considered cruel and unusual."
Chuckling, they walked in companionable silence for the rest of the way to her house. Nothing—not rain, snow or natural disaster—could sway him from his self-appointed task of bringing her safely home from school. Even that one time he was laid up at home because of that bug going around, he mustered the sheer will to meet her pale and shaking by the school gate.
Miles away again, Minami thought affectionately, slanting a glance through her lashes at Yuri, who seemed to have forgotten he had someone by his side as he absently meandered in the right direction. It was an oddity she had come to accept—and didn't really mind—about her boyfriend. He'd lose track of time, adrift in his own world, then snap out of it with a gentle nudge, bouncing back twice as cheery.
"Wah, I can smell barbecue! Your family's having an outdoor cookout," he exclaimed, and true enough, smoke was wafting out from their backyard.
"Wanna stay a while?" she asked. "I'm sure there'll be plenty of food. Ren misses you too," she teased, referring to her baby brother's near-worship of Yuri.
"Tempting, but better not. Shiori would freak out if I stayed out past curfew," he grimaced.
"Okay, see you tomorrow then." Leaning over, she gave him a peck on the cheek, causing Yuri to blush and startle, as usual, which never failed to amuse her.
"Right. Tomorrow!" He bounded a few steps, turned to wave goofily, then ran all the way home. It made Minami laugh, as she knew it was meant to, and she headed inside her house in a good mood.
XXX
Cheater!
Yuri snorted, hearing the familiar refrain inside his head. Thanks Wolfram, he thought half crossly, Minami and I have been going steady for half a year now, and I can't go beyond a kiss on the cheek without reflexively looking over my shoulder in terror.
Wimp!
"Not a wimp," Yuri grumbled under his breath, slowing down from his one-man marathon to a shuffle, not really in a hurry to reach home and fend off Shiori's overzealous coddling since their final return from Shin Makoku.
Since...
"Aaaargh! Not thinking about that!" he yelled while clutching his head—then gasping belatedly in awareness of where he was (i.e.: crouched on his heels in the middle of the street), and the leery looks directed at him by passers-by for the wonderful spectacle he was making of himself.
"Ehehe...exams are so stressful..." Giving a weak grin to all, he hightailed it out of there.
He could always go straight to his room and lock the door against his exasperating brother.
XXX
"Yuri, you open this door right now!" Shiori banged on the door and rattled the doorknob. Stubborn brat, he fumed. No use for it but to bring out my secret weapon! He took out his wallet triumphantly.
...
...
"Shiori dear," Jennifer exclaimed, "aren't you mistaking the doorjamb for an ATM machine?" She crouched down beside him to peer at his handiwork.
"Not so loud Mum!" Shiori shushed her. "I'm trying to jiggle the door open with my credit card," he explained in a whisper.
"I can hear you," Yuri's muffled voice emerged from the door. "Give it up, it hasn't worked the past dozen times before, it's not gonna work now."
"Yuri, open up!"
"No, I don't want to go on another weird brotherly bonding experience with you again."
"Yu-chan," Shiori said reasonably, "you just can't lock up things inside you. You need to deal with loss sooner or later. Kubler-Ross says that after Denial comes Anger, after Anger comes Bargaining, after Bargaining comes Depression, and only then will one reach Acceptance."
"Yeah, well no offense to Kublai-"
"Kubler-"
"No offense to him, but I am dealing with it just fine," Yuri said defiantly.
"No one who locks himself in his room is doing fine!"
"I wouldn't have to if you'd stop jumping out to drag me to god-knows-where; that stupid wilderness adventure intensive course when you had asthma...then there was the mountain retreat where we had to meditate, talk about our feelings and write bad haiku—after that you took me to a bar! I'm 16! I can't drink yet! Then you tried to force me to bungee jump. And the suicide prevention watch...I'm not suicidal! You're making me suicidal! So please for both our sakes find another pet project to fix your attention to!"
"I wouldn't have to drag you if you'd just leave Denial Land you've been dwelling in the past year and a half now!"
"Go away."
"I'm just trying to help you."
"Oh you've helped me alright. I'm way past denial. You've gotten me angry, realized the futility of bargaining with you, and now I'm absolutely miserably fed up." They heard something being banged open. "If you won't stop hounding me—" here his voice became suspiciously more muffled "—then I'll just sleep over at Murata's house again."
"Yu-chan! You wouldn't dare!"
"Okay dear, but remember to wake up early for your outing tomorrow."
"Bye Mum!" The rustling of leaves and branches creaking was followed by a thud to the ground.
Shiori raced down the stairs, through the living room and out the backdoor, but was too late. Yuri was already sprinting merrily far away.
Stubborn, reckless, little brat, sniffed Shiori vexedly, before turning to glare at Yuri's partner in crime.
"I'm going to chop you to bits tomorrow," he proclaimed threateningly, irrationally outraged that he was foiled again by a stupid stunted tree he planted with a lack of foresight under Yuri's window years ago. But who would have thought his cute little brother would one day grow to be such a delinquent as to run away from home?
...Don't worry, Yu-chan, your big brother will save you, even from yourself!
XXX
"Maa, I hate getting in between my best friend, and my best friend's brother like this," his right hand and alas best friend declared as he stood in the centre of his room, glasses glinting in the fluorescent light as he stroked his chin meditatively. "There's a soap opera out there with a love triangle like this, and it never bodes well for the third wheel. The things I do for love and friendship," Murata sighed, moved by his own selflessness. "And yet my friend—my one and only—the one I would willingly follow to hell and back, didn't even invite me to this group date tomorrow. Oh, the betrayal! The neglect!"
He looked at Yuri with teary pleading eyes. "You didn't mean to forget me, did you? I'm the one that needs to find a girlfriend, you already have one!" he wailed when Yuri remained stubbornly uncooperative.
"No, and that's final. I finally have friends who don't think I'm secretly gay with you and I intend to let it stay that way. You know that you saying things like that is the reason why everyone in class last year thought we were an item."
"Well, you didn't help quell the rumors any by always coming to my defense when the bullies seek me out."
"Was I supposed to let you get beaten up?"
"I'm just saying, it was added fuel to the fire...And besides, would you deprive our classmates/fangirls the color and meaning that our illicit BL relationship gives to their lives? The Hephaistion to my Alexander, the Watson to my Sherlock, the uke to my seme. (sigh) I miss the adulation..."
"You and I as—what!" he sputtered. "That makes no sense! How could I be the uke in the relationship when I was the one—" he paused as he registered what he said.
"On second thought I don't really need to know."
"Well I guess compared to you I come off as more manly—"
"I said I don't want to know!"
"—It's a good thing we didn't continue being classmates this year, or you'd probably never gotten a girlfriend. How's Minami by the way? Is she still putting up with you?"
"Yes we're fine and what is that supposed to mean?"
"Well you're such a space case, I was half afraid someone else might have nabbed her under your nose."
"Of course not," Yuri scoffed, "Nami knows not let a good thing go when she sees it."
...
...
"I find that insulting." He glared.
"What are you talking about?" Murata raised his eyebrows, wide-eyed and quizzical; Yuri still got the impression that he was sniggering at him behind that perfectly open expression.
"That!" He motioned expansively at Murata from forehead to chin. "The 'I'm-laughing-at-you-behind-your-back-except-I'm-doing-it-in-front-of-your-face' face." He paused. "That doesn't come off quite well in translation."
"Now, now, Yuri," his friend soothed. "I'd never doubt Nami's loyalty; why, she'd be a fool to let such a thoughtful and devoted boyfriend slip. I'm just trying to initiate a much needed intervention here like any good friend should do. And as your wise counselor and resident love guru, I'm telling you now, if you want move to the next level of your relationship, you're going about it all wrong. Go to the park, take her out to a movie, hang out at home, but do it with you and Nami alone. Girls want to know that their boyfriends want them all to themselves. Apart from that you're golden. Teen Hearts say Nice Guys actually don't finish last, not in the romance stakes at least, and speaking of nice guys, you're positively an angel-figuratively speaking of course. Have you kissed her yet?"
Yuri stared at him for a moment. "Do you listen to yourself when you talk?" He dropped back on the bed so he could stare at the ceiling-in this way he wouldn't have to roll his eyes as was warranted. "Sometimes I wonder if the title 'the Sage' is really a whopping big misnomer."
Murata smiled benignly. "There's no shame in asking for help. If you want I can be your wingman tomorrow, make sure you can get some alone time with each other," he said eagerly. "Uh, how many girls—oh, and guys too of course!—did you say were coming?"
That earned him a glare. "No. I can do perfectly fine on my own date."
"..."
"Quit that."
XXX
See, this is easy, he scoffed, handing over a great pink teddy bear to Minami as she bestowed another kiss on his cheek in gratitude.
Then she fanned him before he could expire from blushing madly.
Baby steps, he told himself as he offered aloud to get her drinks, his treat. I will kiss her (on the lips!) before the end of this date!
Having affirmed to himself his self-appointed goal, he set off for the frosty stand, bobbing and weaving his way past the crowd and back to her. "So...how about we go to the Ferris wheel, just the two of—"
"Rollercoaster! There it is! Hey, hey guys there's our stop!" Saito shouldered his way out front and dragged as many of his company as he could take, which unfortunately included the couple in the middle. Yuri tried to extricate himself and his girlfriend from their classmate's manacles-for-hands to no avail.
"Hey idiot, leave the lovebirds alone, they don't want to come with us," Haruka remonstrated their wayward friend much to the former Maou's relief.
Turning, he flashed her a grateful smile. "Thanks Haruka—"
"They want to go on the Water Dragon ride by themselves," she gave them a wink, and shooed them off. "Go on then, I'll make sure they don't bother you anymore." Everybody cheered them on, impressed by their pluck as even they daren't go on that death-defying ride.
"Uh, yeah, the Water Dragon ride. Haha." They obediently toddled off to the corresponding line to get their tickets, before Minami turned to him with a questioning glance.
"Were you saying something earlier Yuri...?"
"Uh no, not really. Oh-wow-the-line's-really-short-today-so-here-we-are!" He caught her by the hand and legged it to the last car and settled themselves there.
Right. First this then the Ferris wheel, he promised. I'm a nice and romantic boyfriend. Our first real kiss—well the first one initiated by me—will be on the top of the Ferris wheel. He nodded to himself, impatient to get this ride over with.
"Okay let's do this thing!"
XXX
Sometimes I think fate just has too much fun screwing me over, he thought miserably as he freewheeled in the air to gasps of spectators and former fellow passengers—then freefalled to the shallow water around the tracks. He braced himself for impact, hoping to get off with only skinned knees instead of broken limbs.
Instead he landed on a deep part of the water, his body sinking down down down.
Really, really deep part of the water. Almost bottomless it appeared.
Wow. You'd never know there was a swimming pool below from up there.
Hey wait! I'm being dragged down! Help! Minami! Somebody!
He struggled to rise, faintly seeing Nami's shocked face and outstretched arms before he was pulled down even deeper into the murkiness.
Then he started whirling, around and around, down and down, to an underwater vortex. What is this? A whirlpool? A black hole? A ridiculously outsized drain? Whatever it was it was making him feel worse than seasickness or jetlag. The last time he was ever this nauseated was when—Wait.
Of course! I'm an idiot!
He can't believe he'd forgotten; he was being sucked into another world!
Thank Shinou! he smiled joyfully, stopping panicking immediately. I'm coming! I'm coming back everyone!
XXX
He was spewed out, landing with a splat rather than a splash, floating spread eagled on top of the water. Aching bones and the urge to upchuck aside, he struggled manfully (because he was, take that Murata) to wade to the bank of the—uh, spring?—he landed in. Collapsing on the ground coughing, he would have thankfully kissed it except, yuck, mud—and also, several pairs of boots were stomping in a ring over him.
"Up!" someone peremptorily demanded.
Blinking dazedly, he could vaguely make out the people shapes to be clad in the grey uniforms of Shin Makoku soldiers, which relieved him. For all he knew, he might have landed anywhere in the world, even in the heart of Big Shimaron, which would only be a little less bad than landing in a troupe of bloodthirsty dolphins.
Donning an awkward grin, he rose up to greet them, only to be man-handled back to his knees while someone demanded his name and purpose for trespassing within the castle grounds.
"Hey!" he yelped, feeling the scrape of rope on his wrists as he was trussed up. Despite the rough treatment, the fuzziness besetting his vision cleared and he looked up in absolute shock.
Who are these sentries? He thought he knew everyone in the castle by face if not by name (the soldiers especially were his obliging accomplices in escaping Gwendal and the dreaded paperwork), yet the entire squad apprehending him right now were completely unknown to him. And it was obvious they did not know him as well by the suspicious looks and arms-length treatment he was getting.
After a discussion of which they refused to make Yuri a party to, the entire company escorted him hastily yet cautiously to the throne room. They led him down an unfamiliar and unbearably lengthy hallway lined with the portraits of his predecessors. A sense of déjà vu nagged him all the way until the sight of two oversized pictures arrested him.
The portraits of the first Maou and the Daikenja hung side by side. He looked around the corridor once again. Then he turned towards his armed escorts and asked a touch incredulously, "Excuse me, but who whitewashed the great stone corridor pink?"
"Who cares? It's always been pink," snapped his left escort.
"No it has not!"
"For as long as I've been workin' here it is," said leftie.
"And how long ago was that Mr. Newbie? Did the Council decide to do a little remodeling while I was away?" he demanded cantankerously, vaguely realizing he was reacting a tad overboard about the whole thing, but he couldn't help himself.
Now instead of looking at him suspiciously as if he were a spy, they wore the worried looks of men confronted by a gibbering madman.
"Let's just continue onward," said the right guard slowly, "the Maou will deal with the likes of you."
Steering him forward, they led him to the end of the passage, where they waited to be announced beyond the massive double doors of the throne room.
Yuri was nearly hopping from foot to foot in his impatience to get this over with. He wanted to see a familiar face; anyone he could recognize and would recognize him in turn, so they could at last remedy this embarrassing little mistake-and he could then ask them what in the Original King's name were they thinking.
Who was the new Maou? Cheri-sama? Anissina? Seriously, pink? He might not be Maou anymore, but he had a citizen's right to protest such a desecration.
He was trying to remember to which of the Ten Nobles he was supposed to address his complaint to—Lord von Guild Hall or something?—when the doors swung wide open, an officious footman awaiting them on the other side.
"Bring—the prisoner—forth!" he proclaimed importantly.
The former Maou eagerly pushed ahead, almost overtaking his guard if they hadn't decided to form a tight circle around him, keeping him apart from the Maou and the rest of the hall.
The sight of the rest of the hall was what stopped him in his tracks.
The gathering, many richly dressed men and women, were giving him a wide berth as they advanced; some eyeing them with curiosity while others looked outright hostile. Servants darted in and out among them with platters of food or refilling wine cups or teacups as if this was a party in which he gatecrashed.
Where the heck did they come from? Were they really all here for an audience with the Maou or has he intruded on a special occasion of some sort? He didn't remember requiring so many attendants to wait on him before. Has things changed so much from the way he conducted matters when he was in power?
Prodding him onwards, his companions led him before the dais where the current Maou (whoever he was) was seated, forcing him to kneel with them.
"Yuri?"
He automatically glanced up at the sound of his name, the rich timbre of the other's voice as alien to him as everything else since he got here. He frowned in bemusement.
"Valtrana? Wolfram's uncle?"
A babble of outraged voices broke out as ire rained down on his head from the illustrious throng.
"How dare you speak like—"
"—nonsense is he—"
"—may be cute but he's sure dumb—"
"Silence."
"..."
"..."
"..."
That one stern word from the Maou, stilled the most vociferous and reduced the rest to muted whispers.
Valtrana got up from the throne and, to the consternation of everyone present, descended the steps. Ignoring the guards trying to put themselves between him and the possible assassin, he pushed them aside to stand in front of Yuri with wide intense eyes that traced the lines of his face.
Yuri in turn studied him with increasing puzzlement. Was it him or did Valtrana look a tad younger? And the edges of his features seemed softer, making him look more...beautiful than handsome. In fact, he now more closely resembled his nephew than he ever did befo—
"—Wolfram?!"
"Yes. I'm the Maou now." Wolfram turned around to look at the assembly eyeing them with barely concealed speculation. "This audience is at an end for today."
A ripple of bows and curtsies later the hall emptied out to leave only a few familiar faces. In the pregnant silence left behind, a broken sob to Yuri's right caught his attention.
"OH—Your Majesty! Is that really you?" an overly dramatic voice called to him, causing Yuri to break out in an overjoyed smile.
"Gunter!" The former counselor at least, stayed fundamentally the same. There were deep grooves around his mouth, his hair lightened from pewter to platinum, but the extravagance of his joy hadn't diminished a jot. Yuri opened his arms wide and braced himself to be inevitably tackled—excepting it never came to pass.
Tears welled in big pearly drops in Gunter's eyes, as he looked absolutely overcome, profoundly shattered, and severely lovesick all at once. He took one trembling step, then another, and another...then gracefully fainted in a silvery heap on the floor before him.
"Gunter," Yuri sighed, also as used to this as he was to being assaulted. None of the others also paid much attention to such a usual occurrence as they continued to stare at Yuri in elation and disbelief, still not quite sure he wasn't an impostor.
Until he raised a hand to scratch the side of his head with a sheepish grin.
"Uh, guys...so I'm guessing I have a lot to catch up on, huh?"