In a moment (I see you)

soulmate au where everything is black and white until you meet your soulmate.

(originally posted on tumblr!)

Marinette is only eight years old when she sees color for the first time.

It's a beautiful day, or so her parents tell her, when it happens and it is as far as she can tell. Her family is spending a free afternoon at the park and her parents keep saying that the leaves are vibrant green and the sky is an ocean-spread blue though she never really understands what they mean. For as long as she can remember, the world has always existed in only two shades: black and white.

Sometimes she thinks they're just trying to trick her when they talk about these so-called "colors." Whenever she would try and call them on their lie, they would only laugh like they were keeping a secret and tell her that one day she would have her Moment and would see color too. That was never any good though because it would only make her pout and whine. She didn't want to wait for 'one day,' she wanted to see color now. But she was young so most of the time it didn't even cross her mind. To her, all that matters is that the trees have only begun to lose their leaves which means piles to jump in, the sky is filled with fluffy clouds that she can still imagine all kinds of things from, and she's out having a fun day with her mama and papa.

Marinette giggles when a small black and white beetle lands on her nose.

"Oh!" Sabine notices and crouches beside her. "What a pretty ladybug. Today must be your lucky day."

"A ladybug?" Marinette wiggles her nose as it leaves a ticklish trail across her skin and the tiny creature flutters down into her hands. She stares at it in awe, cupping it carefully as if she were holding on to a little jewel. Curious, she asks her mother as always, "What color is it Mama?"

Sabine smiles warmly. "It's red with black spots sweetie."

"Red…" She scrunches her face in confusion, trying to possibly imagine what her mother is seeing. She knows what black is, but the "red" just looks gray like so many other things.

A gusty breeze decides at that very moment to fly by and the ladybug is swept away. With a small protest on her lips, Marinette spins around and instantly follows but stops when a flicker of what she can only register later as the color of the sun catches her eyes.

It comes without warning and in a Moment, the world is transformed and it's nothing less than magical. Marinette can't contain her gasps of delight as she suddenly sees. There's the cool shade of the sky- blue, she realizes- to the vibrant, bright hues of the leaves- "Green," she whispers to herself in wonder - and so much more that she's never even dreamed of. She looks down at herself, at her clothes, at everything and spins around, gaze flying, as she desperately absorbs this bright and new, brilliant world. When she has to blink, she's almost afraid that it will disappear but when her eyes burn and she has to close them for an instant, everything is the same.

She runs through the park, head spinning, and that's when she notices the very first color that had caught her attention in the first place. Her eyes twinkle when she sees the small figure with the head of gold in the distance. It's a little boy about her age and he's facing away from her, both of his hands held by two people on his sides that are swinging him lightly.

Marinette stops for a moment when he turns to the beautiful lady with a large smile on his left and laughs. She knows that his eyes are the color green because that's what the leaves are, but they're different because his are much lighter and much prettier; she decides instantly that it's her favorite color so far.

Suddenly she wants nothing more than to talk to the little boy, but before she can get any closer to say hello her papa grabs her hand even though she yanks against it.

"Mari, you shouldn't run off like that." Tom scolds with a frown. Marinette shoots him a watery pout.

"But Papa," She cries. "I just want to talk to the boy with the pretty green eyes." She smiles proudly when her papa's eyes grow wide. She wants to laugh and tease him now that she can see color too, but he doesn't smile.

"What? What little boy?" He presses, forehead pinching. "Marinette, does everything look… different?"

"Yeah!" She spreads her arms wide and releases a giddy laugh, beaming. "It was like magic Papa! And it was because of him, the little boy! Look, he's just over…there?" When she spins around to point, it's just as she sees the golden head, the one of the color of the sun, disappear into a car. Her papa tries to run to the car, but it drives away before he makes it to the sidewalk. Marinette doesn't get it why her Papa looks sad when he turns around.

That night, her parents try to explain what a soul mate is for the first time and that she had experienced her Moment.

~.~.~.~.~

When Marinette is old enough to understand that she might not ever know who her soulmate is, the disappointment is crushing. The way people usually found each other was when they both realized they'd had their Moment, but all she has is a fuzzy distant memory of the back of a golden head, a flash of green eyes, and his gift of giving her color. Now she thinks that's all she'll ever have.

She spends too much time looking up stories about people who don't end up with their soulmates and to her surprise, there are plenty. She reads all kinds of articles about how it's not completely uncommon for people to choose not to be with their soulmates or end up together with others who aren't. It makes her sad to read about how there are some people who never see color at all. In worst case scenarios, there are even rumors about people who have their Moment only for the other person not to. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't make her feel any better.

But she has to eventually accept it anyways and though her head and heart are always filled with 'what ifs' and 'maybes,' life goes on.

~.~.~.~.~

When Marinette finds herself standing on her balcony one moment and then flying across Paris the next, she should've guessed just what her life would become after meeting (or more accurately, crashing into) Chat Noir for the first time. Everything happens so fast that she mistakes his eyes that are wide and looking around as if the world was a completely different place for the excitement of what is happening to them. It catches her by surprise when he fires the first witty quip her way and although she's inwardly skeptical she's slightly amused all the same and takes it as a gesture of friendliness.

But she doesn't miss the way he becomes taken aback or how his expression dips into a frown as she continues to shut him down, because really, what does he expect? She worries that maybe she's being a little too harsh with him, thinking that it was all in good fun, but is relieved when he agrees in less than a heartbeat to meet with her later on the Eiffel tower so they can have a proper chat after letting the craziness of the day settle down.

When Chat Noir joins her later, she's already there and swinging her legs over the edge in peace, admiring the colors of the Parisian night below. She misses him sneak up to her until there's a whisper by her ear and she nearly falls off the ledge in surprise when he croons in her ear.

"Good evening, my Lady."

She flies to her feet, heart bursting, and scowls. "Chat Noir!" He only laughs and holds up his hands as if they could protect him.

"Sorry." He grins, bowing in a flourish. "That was too tempting to resist." Marinette only sighs and they fall into silence. It's not uncomfortable at all which is crazy because she hasn't even known him for a day.

"Beautiful, huh?" She gestures around her as a prompt of small talk but when she looks back at him she's a little surprised to find that he's already looking at her.

"Yeah." Is all he breathes.

Startled from the intensity of his gaze, she looks away quickly but can't keep the light burn of her cheeks away. She tries again.

"You know-"

"Ladybug-"

They laugh nervously and she can't really explain the fluttery feeling that's started in her stomach.

"Sorry. Ladies first?" Chat winks. She smiles with a shrug.

"It isn't really important. I just remembered when my mother told me about how ladybugs are supposed to be lucky when I was little. As luck so had it that was also the day I saw color for the first time." Although how lucky could they really be when she had lost her chance to meet her soulmate on the same day?

She turns to look at Chat but his smile has slipped away and his face has gone very pale.

"Chat?" She asks, worried. "What's wrong?"

"You see color." It's not a question and his voice sounds small.

She blinks, slightly taken aback, but is wary of his suddenly unreadable expression that had seemed so open and happy before. "Yeah. I have for several years now actually. The Moment really is as amazing as they say it is. Do you have a favorite?" The question is innocent enough and she's only curious but she wants to smack herself at the next words that finally come after a heavy pause.

"I wouldn't know. I don't see color yet."

She's an idiot. She'd had no intention of being inconsiderate and only now did it occur to her how private that question could be; she would be offended too if someone who didn't even know her asked her right out. Her heart flutters in sympathy and thinks the unchecked sadness in his eyes is in light of the fact that he hasn't met his One yet. Desperate to rectify her mistake, she stumbles on.

"Hey no worries!" She forces a grin to her face but can't help but think of what she would give to get herself a redo or to not have seen color yet either. "It'll happen sooner than later and probably when you least expect it too. Your Moment will be amazing, I promise." Even now, she still remembers the wonder of how the world blossomed although the memory itself has grown bittersweet.

"Yeah…" He mutters quietly, ears drooping. She finds that she can't bare that look on his face and sighs.

"You know, the truth is," She makes sure he's listening before continuing and is vaguely aware of the fact that she's never told anyone else before. "I don't actually know who my soulmate is. I had my Moment and it was amazing, but I totally missed him because I was too distracted from all the colors. So take my advice and make sure you're paying attention when it happens or you might miss it."

It seems to work and he sends her a careful look. "I'm sorry. Maybe you'll find him someday?" She can tell he's just saying this to be nice but whether or not he really believes that, she appreciates it all the same.

"Who knows?" She laughs and relaxes when he perks right back up, his eyes shining once more. He shoots a mischievous grin her way.

"Hey Ladybug, maybe we should say screw it to all that soulmate stuff and just run away together instead." He wiggles his eyebrows and leans in close. "It'd be golden."

"What?" She snorts and does nothing more but gently tussle his hair and shove him away. "Did you just make a pun?"

"No, it was just a pigment of your imagination."

She puts on the ugliest face she can. "Oh, lame."

"Hey, my puns aren't lame. They're incredibly witty." He presses a hand to his heart like he's been wounded, but still grins. "So, yes?"

She rolls her eyes and unclips her yo-yo. "I didn't say yes."

"But you didn't say no."

"You know what, I think that's my cue to leave." She does have school in the morning after all and though Chat looks a bit disappointed, he's still smiling when he grabs her hand and plants a swift peck on the back of it. She's too surprised to react as he dips into a bow.

"Until we meet again, my Lady."

She only shakes her head before they part and go their separate ways. She doesn't see the way Chat looks back.

~.~.~.~.~

The next morning, the first thing she sees is the back of a very familiar golden head that sends such a strong sense of déjà vu flushing through her she feels a little dizzy. Her minds kicks into high gear and thoughts are flying miles in minutes. Could it be? Had she found him? When he turns a fraction, she can see that even the eyes are exactly the same, if not more beautiful.

For a moment Marinette thinks that she actually dreamed up her soulmate into existence by sheer will but the thoughts completely derail when her heart that had jumped into her throat drops to her toes a second later when she sees him leaning over the gum on her chair, Chloe and Sabrina laughing to the side.

She ignores the new boy the rest of class, but can't help but overhear- his name, she discovers with Alya, is Adrien- his and Nino's conversation right beside her.

"See her, the girl with the red tips? That's Alya. Yeah, we're soulmates, but we're not actually together. We're just really good friends." For now, Marinette silently smirks to herself. "What about you?"

"Actually," Marinette inadvertently perks when Adrien begins to speak."I just started seeing color yesterday."

"Oh congrats! Who's the lucky lady? Or dude?" Nino shrugs at Adrien's quirked brow which is only followed by a sigh.

"It doesn't matter. She didn't have the Moment."

Marinette's quiet, shocked gasp is only hidden by Nino's. She remembers reading about it happening but she'd really believed they were only rumors, and never had she actually known anyone that its happened to. She can't even imagine.

She watches Nino shoot him a look of the utmost sympathy out of the corner of her eye. "Dude, I'm so sorry…"

"Don't be, it's fine." Adrien says quickly and it's obvious that he's desperate for a subject change. Nino is quick to do so and prattles into something about music but by this point, Marinette has already tuned out and buried inside her own thoughts. The pettier side of her even thinks that the jerk deserves it a little but after a beat she takes it back, blaming the thought on her own bitterness.

Nobody deserves to be alone.

~.~.~.~.~

It's only a little later that day when she discovers that she's completely wrong about Adrien Agrestse.

"This is all a bit new for me." Adrien finishes, shrugs with a small, apologetic smile and holds out his umbrella for her without hesitation despite the fact that he's now getting soaked.

Marinette is struck speechless and as she stares into his heart-stopping green eyes, in her heart of hearts she desperately wishes that he was the One after all because even though he's not her soulmate, it's not fair how she can't help but fall in love with that kind boy on a rainy day anyways.

~.~.~.~.~

Sometimes she thinks Chat is right about forgetting her soulmate. She's already had her Moment, and it hadn't worked out, so what was she waiting for anymore? The chance that she would actually meet her One in the future and be able to say without a doubt that it was him was probably slim to none by now.

This particular thought kept popping up more and more as time went on. It doesn't help that she repeatedly begins to find a small part of herself that can't help but react to the way Chat Noir looks at her when he thinks she can't see. Despite his corny puns and brash personality, she can't deny the chemistry they have, one she's never had with anyone before. Before she knows it, she's once again exploring all the 'what ifs' and 'maybes' until, like a slap to the face, she remembers that Chat still doesn't see color himself.

How can she even consider taking that away from him? How unfair would it be get involved with her cat, only for him to find his own soulmate sometime after? Maybe this was her protecting herself from the inevitable hurt, but she can't help but feel swayed when he fights so adamantly against the soulmate idea. They don't bring it up often, as it's a sore spot for both of them, but once when it did, he outright stated that he didn't want to see any color for the rest of his life at all and that's when Marinette wasn't sure if he was really joking anymore.

There's also Adrien and how she feels about him. She can't put her finger on it, but she knows that her feelings for him are nothing little and when she reflects on them, they're so strong and certain within her that sometimes she deludes herself into thinking that maybe he is the One after all until she remembers that he'd started to see color the day before they'd even met so that was impossible. She knows that it's her just projecting on to him, but still a small part of her hopes that maybe one day she can find the courage to talk to him and they can be together anyways- two incomplete souls finding solace in each other. Two pieces of a puzzle that have lost their counterparts. Maybe their pieces aren't destined to be, but that doesn't meant it couldn't work or that Marinette's feelings are any less valid.

And then her thoughts turn to the nameless One, her actual soulmate. She hasn't thought much of him since these two boys have entered her life versus before when she'd stew for long periods over who it could be. Not for the first time, she wonders if these thoughts could be going through his head too and that she isn't the only one scared that they could wander through the rest of their life incomplete.

Her heart hurts, but when Chat asks her what's wrong during their patrol one night she doesn't say and only laughs and groans as he spins off into another spiel of cheesy puns.

~.~.~.~.~

The rain cascades around them, but Marinette barely notices. All that matters is that Chat is not moving and she can't get to his side fast enough. She's in bad shape herself, but she can't bring herself to care until her knee gives out and she crashes to the ground. She crawls the rest of the way, stifling whimpers.

"Chat…" She chokes as she gently gathers him into her arms so his head rests on her lap. His golden head is stained dark red, and as the color slips from his face so it also does from the world. She first thinks it's because her vision is swimming from blood loss. Desperately she presses down on the wound to try and stem the flow, but the life continues to drain out of him.

"Ladybug?" His voice is breathy and weak and her gaze snaps immediately to his. She wants to cry at the sight of the tiny smile that still pulls at his face, but she doesn't. She has to stay strong.

"Yes, it's me. I'm here, chaton. I'm here." She tries to brush some of his drenched hair from his face. His rings beeps and not a moment later her earrings do as well, but neither seem to hear. All she can focus on are the green eyes of her partner beginning to flicker and dull. Her heart seizes in her chest. "Why did you have to jump in the way like that? I wasn't fast enough. I couldn't do anything, and now you're-I'm sorry, I'm so-"

"Don't apologize…my Lady." Her silly cat even tries to laugh, but it comes out as a light wheeze instead and he grunts in pain. "Ladybug, there's something I have to tell you. It's important."

"No, stop talking." Stop talking like you're trying to say goodbye. She wants to scream as her loose hair, now matted and soaked through, tumbles across her shoulders as she leans over him. Another series of beeps. It's just then that she notices when her eyes rake across him, his eyes have gone even dimmer, along with his face and almost everything around, as if the rain is washing him out. "Chat, you need to save your strength-"

"Blue."

The word shuts her up immediately, but she doesn't understand. Why is he talking about the color blue? How does he even know what the color blue is? What does any of this matter right now?

"What? Chat, what are you talking about?" She asks desperately. Almost unconsciously, he's already reaching out to her and he cups her cheek to thumb away a stray tear that slips.

"My favorite color. It's blue."

"What are you saying?" She can't hide the way her voice cracks. "But I thought, you said-"

"I know. I lied… I'm sorry."

And then she whispers, "When?" But she thinks she already knows the answer before he even says.

"It was the day I met you. You could say I fell head over heels right there. Actually, that was more you." His next attempt at a smile is weaker and dissolves. The final warning beep flashes on his ring.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She cries and the sadness in his eyes as they begin to slip closed is all the answer she needs. His hand begins to fall away but she grabs it tightly before it can.

"N-no! Don't close your eyes! Help is coming, just hold on a little longer. Chat, please-" When his transformation finally melts around him in a flare of light, her breath catches as reality plunges her body in cold horror. It's at the same moment that it finally hits her that it's not the world losing color. It's her.

"No…"

Her voice cracks and the tears that she's been fighting so hard to keep back finally spill over and lightly spatter his face and she desperately holds back a sob because it's Adrien. It's him. It's been him the whole time.

"Adrien… Adrien, no."

The sound of his name jostles him. He blinks wearily at her and she barely has a moment herself before the shrill beep of her earrings expires and she's no longer Ladybug after the wave of energy surges across her body and his eyes widen when he sees her crying over him.

"It's you… Marinette. It's you." He breathes and the memory of that day long ago comes back to her and she can see him in the Moment again so clearly: his golden hair, his green eyes… even his smile. How has she been so blind? How many times has she thought of Adrien and Chat and ignored it thinking it impossible?The One. Her One. And she was his.

She can't keep the cry out of her voice anymore as she squeezes his hand and he squeezes back.

"It's me." She gasps, trembling as the tears cascade down her face. Adrien's practically gray to her now. It's only the green of his eyes that still stand out to her but only barely. She desperately tries to see them beyond all the tears to sear them into her memory. "It's always been me. Oh god, Adrien, I don't know what to do. I can't do anything."

"You don't have to." He whispers, "It's okay."

"It's not okay. Adrien-" She tries but he stops her.

"I'm happy." He says, taking an uneven breath. "I'm happy that it's you. I just wish…" He murmurs something too quiet to hear before Marinette watches the green of his eyes fade completely as they close and the once red blood on her hands has now become black.

"Adrien please I can't lose you! Don't leave me!"

His eyes don't open.

additionally, when your soulmate dies, the world goes back to black and white.

...am I evil? Maybe.

...mumblethere'sgoingtobeapart2eventuallymumble...

EDIT: Omg I'm so dumb. I accidentally posted my first draft of this, but I've updated it now to the true one. Nothing changed plot wise, it's just written MUCH better. I am so sorryyy ;-;