DISCLAIMER: I do not own Code Geass, or its characters mentioned in this fic.
Summary: All at once Kallen understood-While watching the death of the man bent on ruling the world, Kallen realizes that his intentions under the mask were much more pure. And even from a distance, you can see the faint smile of a man forfeiting his life for yours.
A/N: Wow, so this is my first time in this fandom. I don't stray from my usual much, aside from the occasional personal fluff for a soujo manga or something, you know? So this is weird for me. But I was excited that I actually had something to publish this time, since i haven't been writing often enough or well enough for any of my other little oneshots to go up here.
Anyways, I got the idea for this one from two things-Kallen's feelings at the end of the series and how, if you'll notice, whenever they do scenes with Zero, they'll show Lelouch, or whoever it is naked when they want to show his face. it's actually kind of funny xD but I decided it actually made a really nice metaphor, that I would guess is probably tragically overused, considering the show in question. But whatever, I did it anyways, because I was too lazy to look for a fic that shared my thoughts on the ending xD
Just before you read I should mention, as a warning, that the writing style in this is very...er poetic. I try my hardest for my fics to not be so cheesy as far as style goes, but the subject matter for this is much more conceptual and thus took more the form of a vignette--more conceptual and thought-oriented than action-oriented. It's very cheesy. I apologize, and hope that you people like it anyways :D
All at once, Kallen understood.
As the man on the dais was run through by Zero's sword, as white robes were stained red-violently red-the memories of him before her all came rushing back. The flood gates had opened and Kallen understood. The gates had opened and tears began to pour down her face.
Her eyes narrowed through her tears as she watched the man swathed in white, red, and gold trudge over to the edge and fall dishearteningly down-He always did have a taste for the dramatics, She thought. She felt her eyes and throat start to hurt with the strain. At least while he was lying.
And that's all he ever did. He lied. He walked around, always, carrying on his head a big heavy mask. He lied. That's what Lecouch did. It was the truth you had to look for with him.
Lelouch's body left gory red stains on the carpet of the dais as he slid. Slid. Rolled. She hiccoughed. Kallen had to look for the truth in him-look for his intentions. And she never found them, not once. Kallen remembered back—back to what seemed like weeks ago in the dark, foggy recesses of her mind—with stunning and disorienting clarity: She remembered asking. She remembered facing him. She remembered looking into his eyes and trying not to shed a single tear, and kissing him, and she knew. Kallen knew now. She knew what that all meant. And she saw now, if she would squint, the faint smile splayed on his face, his expression slackening, his smile waning, but there, and she Knew. What. His. Intentions. Really. Were.
There lay a man gone to hell to save the entire world. There lay a man who sacrificed his life and name and dignity for the happiness of everybody else. There lay a boy who lied-who wore a vile, heavy mask for all those who now cheered over his passing.
And that mask, burden though it may have been, was his defense. It was what kept him going, even when the entire world, even the black knights, even his own damned sister, hated him.
And as Kallen stood, frozen, freed of her chains, and wrists blistered and bleeding, she realized that however few times she had seen him without the mask—however many times she had wished she could know more of him, and really see Lelouch as Lelouch really and truly was—that those few times had seen him laying himself out in front of her, bare and vulnerable. I guess he was always naked under that mask, wasn't he?
So she watched the jeering crowd with the eyes of a bystander, as she put it all together. Lelouch's hopeless expression as he clutched the vial of refrain. The man's voice as he screamed for her not to give up. His mournful stare as she turned away—the wordless answer to her question ("why are you doing this? What do I mean to you?"). He had to lie. He couldn't do anything else—for the sake of the world. And so she knew now—seeing those images swimming in the corners of her vision, seeing that regret, that apology—that he couldn't say anything. Nothing. Because he had no mask—she had cut him open—and he Couldn't. Tell. The. Truth. Even when his eyes had already made the confession for him.
And so, as the millions before her cheered over his death, she cried. She mourned. Though smiling through her tears for a better tomorrow, she cried over the fact that one great, just man would never see the brave new world he had created of his own beautiful mind—and would never know redemption in that world's eyes.
Where the masses saw Lelouch Vi Brittania as a villain—a dirty, conniving, greedy and shameless man—Kallen saw him naked, under his mask. Bare and Vulnerable.
A/N: Yeah...I was crying for most of the ending, if you couldn't tell by the depressing manner of this drabble.
I got really sad because not only did Lelouch sacrifice his entire life and morals for the sake of the entire world, but the entire world would never recognize this. The history books would write him as a tyrant, at best, not realizing what he did for them.
Though I do realize the technicalities may not be strictly correct here. I had to rewatch some parts of the ending eps to get a feel for the characters, and their feelings, and I fear I may still have misinterpreted them. Lelouch is by no means vulnerable. Sure he was sad at the end, but it was all his plan, and he was still a complete BAMF. It was a tragic end for him, and he had moments of weakness, and that look in his eyes in that one scene near the end with Kallen and the tiny little kiss was full of regret, but it didn't mean he was vulnerable. Maybe he was, I'm not one to tell. just a theory :(
Also, I was half thinking of titling this "Requiem." But how overused is that title in this fandom? It's like naming your fanfiction "code geass" because it's about code geass. But for the record, when they mention the zero requiem in the series, I really think they got the wrong word. A requiem is a song of mourning. No one mourned for Zero-he was still alive. He was a legacy. In this little oneshot, the requiem was sung from Kallen to Lelouch, and it was really a Zero Legacy and a Lelouch Requiem. Or maybe I'm just mixed up. You're the reader, it's your turn to decide.
...er..I really do write too much in my author's notes xD
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-Fishy701