Welcome to the Kingdom
Carol was so very tired, too tired to open her eyes, and she listened to the soft voices around her without bothering to try to understand what they were saying. There was the distinct smell of antiseptic and bleach and she guessed that this place was neither heaven nor hell. She could feel her awareness fading and she let herself slide into unconsciousness again.
The smell seemed fainter when she woke up the next time and Carol opened her eyes reluctantly. Morgan was sitting beside her bed. Maybe she was in hell after all. He smiled at her, "You're awake. I'll go get Christie." He left and she looked around the little room. She was in a hospital bed and hooked up to an IV. Shades of Grady.
A tall thin Black woman came into the room followed by a still smiling Morgan. She took Carol's hand, "Welcome to the Kingdom, my name is Christie Alston. You were severely wounded but our soldiers got you and Morgan here in time. Would you like a drink of water?
Carol nodded. Christie held the glass so that Carol could get a drink. It felt wonderful going down her throat. Christie smiled at her and offered the water again. It tasted better than any water that Carol had ever drank.
"Its spring water and incredibly pure, but let's see how you stomach handles it before we give you anymore." Christie used a wet washcloth to wash Carol's face. "You lost a lot of blood. Morgan gave a pint and so did my brother Jesse. So I guess that makes us related."
Carol glanced at Morgan. Damn, that means he has saved my life twice. Morgan patted her hand. "You are going to be alright, Carol. I think the both of us will be alright here." One of us is going to get better and then find a way out of here. I am not looking for a new group. I want to be alone.
Morgan continued to act as if they were best of friends. "We're in the Kingdom. The leader is Ezekiel and he has welcomed us here until you're better. This place was a religious retreat before the ZA and those that remained welcomed Ezekiel and his parishioners here."
Great. I've landed in some sort of religious cult. "I'm going to leave as soon as I can." Just as soon as I can might not be tomorrow.
Christie took her hand, "Carol, you aren't going anywhere for weeks. You were very close to death, but you fought to stay alive as hard as anyone one I ever saw. I'm not going to let you undo all our hard work by going out there too soon. You might find that you want to stay here."
Morgan took her other hand, "I need to go back to Alexandria now. The Saviors slaughtered several members of the Kingdom yesterday while they were away from here. The members of the Kingdom are willing to join the battle against Negan. I am going to take fighters to Alexandria to join the war."
"You joining the fight?" Okay, I sound a little rude.
Morgan gave a reproving look, "I'm going to come back and help defend the Kingdom. Do you remember what happened yesterday?"
"You killed someone to save me."
"I did what I had to do to keep you alive. Can't think of anyone who knows how that feels more than you."
"I'm sorry that you had to do that." We're sharing more than blood here.
Morgan patted her hand, "I'm leaving now. Is there any message you want to give to your family in Alexandria."
Carol turned her face to the wall, "Tell them that I have already said my goodbyes. I don't want to see them."
Morgan waited for another few seconds, "I'll be back as soon as I can."
The other woman waited until he left. "My sister is coming by later to say hello. Her name is Delcie James. Sister Theresa will be looking after you. Do you need anything?"
Carol shook her head, "I just want to sleep." She drifted off a dreamless sleep.
It was evening when she woke again. A small round woman was looking out the window. She smiled at Carol, "I'm Sister Theresa. Do you think you could eat something?"
Carol nodded, "I'll try." I'm not hungry, but I need to eat if I am going to get well enough to get out of here. Sister Theresa scurried out to get the food and another woman stepped into the room.
She had to be Christie's sister. Same soulful dark eyes and sweet smile. "You look so much better this evening. My name is Delcie James and I want you to call me Delcie."
Carol tried to manufacture a smile. Delcie sat down on the chair beside her bed. "I'm not going to deceive you. I'm a psychologist and I would like to spend some time with you while you are getting better. Just talking and sharing experiences."
I should tell her to go to hell, but she is so damn sweet. It would be like kicking a kitten. "I have done terrible things and you would be wasting your time. I just want." Carol stopped there because she didn't know what she did want, "I don't want to hurt anymore." I sound like a weakling.
Delcie smiled at her, "It's my time to waste and I want to talk to you. I can't promise that you won't hurt anymore, but maybe we can work out some ways for you to handle the pain better. Now I'm going to let you rest, but I'll be by tomorrow morning." She stood up and patted Carol's cheek, "Sleep well."
Sister Theresa bustled in with a bowl of broth and Carol submitted to being fed. Then she fell back to sleep. She woke up early the next morning. She was more alert and in more pain.
Christie came in, "So you're awake. I've been up all night. The Kingdom has a new resident this morning. Miss Shanna Dawn Paige was born two hours ago. Mother and daughter doing well. Eight pounds and two ounces of bouncing baby. I don't know how you slept through it. Between the mother and the baby? Lots of noise."
Christie checked her temperature and blood pressure. "How is the pain?"
"Not too bad."
Her doctor pursed her lips, "Don't do that. If it hurts, say so. I've been up all night and I want the truth. Here's the thing. Delcie is the good cop. I've the bad cop. How is the pain?" Little edge in her voice right now. I could learn to like her.
Carol bit her lip, "It hurts like a bitch."
"That sounds about right. Let's talk while you are clear headed."
The conversation was all about what Carol needed to do to get better. Telling the truth about pain was part of it. Allowing her body time to heal. Christie went off to have a nap and Sister Theresa came in with breakfast.
"The baby is adorable. That makes four new babies this year and another is due in October. The Kingdom is growing." Sister Theresa bubbled on. "There was only the four sisters left here when Ezekiel and his group came along. We all get along so well. We've brought in lots of survivors."
All this damn niceness is pissing me off. Is there nobody around her who is normal? Carol ate her breakfast and contemplated her future. I lasted less than a day on my own. I am only alive because Morgan saved my ass and Christie put me back together. Christie is trying to heal my body, Delcie wants to heal my mind, and I guess Sister Theresa will save my soul. The only defense against this assault of goodness is going to sleep.
Delcie was sitting by her bed when she woke up. A few pleasantries and she went for the jugular, "Tell me about the terrible things you have done."
Her smooth brown face looked so damned kind that it pissed Carol off. Made her so angry for a minute that the mask slipped and she blurted out, "I've killed dying people because I was afraid that they would infect the group. I've killed a mentally ill child because she killed her sister and wanted to kill a baby. So fuck off, sweet cheeks. You can't throw some magic spell and make all that not happen. I carry it with me and it won't go away." Carol glared at the other woman. Stop being so damn nice.
"I'm not here to judge you or give you magic beans that take you to far off lands. I am just here to ease your burden. To help you accept what's already happened and to accept forgiveness from yourself and others" Delcie's voice was as calm as if Carol had admitted to cheating on her taxes.
"I'm tired. I want to go back to sleep." Let me play the invalid card.
Delcie smiled, "I think you have been sleepwalking for quite a while. Let's talk. You've hidden behind the mask long enough. Tell me about the dying people."
Carol talked about the prison and the flu. Delcie listened quietly until Sister Theresa came with lunch. She left then but promised to come back later in the evening to talk some more.
After lunch Christie checked her bandages and smiled, "Must be Jesse's blood that helped you start to heal so fast. Let me help you get up. You can walk a little if you'll lean on me." The walk was to the bathroom two doors down and Carol was shaking with exhaustion by the time Christie helped her back in bed.
"I'll be back later to take you on a wheelchair ride outside. You need to see the kingdom." Christie patted her shoulder and Carol managed the ghost of a smile.
Sister Theresa came in and out of the room all afternoon. Carol pretended to be asleep most of the time. I'm fallen and I can't get up. I've hidden that from everyone in Alexandria but Morgan. Do I have enough courage to talk to Delcie? Or do I stay in this continual loop of misery?
Christie came after dinner with a wheelchair. "Hop in, it's beautiful outside." She helped Carol put on a light house coat and then in the wheelchair. The hospital room was on the main floor of a large building and Christie wheeled her out onto the patio. The walls were a good distance away, but Carol saw they were shipping containers. Two stories high with no space in between. There were buildings scattered all through the complex. We must be on top of a mountain. It's very peaceful here.
Christie pointed to the buildings on their left. "There's the chapel. The cafeteria and school is next to it. This building housed visitors to the retreat and it is where all the single people live now. We have a room ready for you whenever you were ready. The sisters live in the first building to the right. The smaller buildings are the houses for families who live in the kingdom. Behind this building are the barns and the workshops. The gardens are back there. The shipping containers go all around now. We've been working on that for two years. What do you think?"
There were flowers and shrubs along the front of the building and it looked almost as if the ZA had passed it by. "It's nice. How many people live here?"
"Less than seventy now. We've made it because no one knew we were here."
"What's going on?" Carol noticed that children were skipping toward them and what was probably their parents were walking behind them.
Christie sat down on a bench beside the wheelchair, "We're welcoming you to the Kingdom." The white, brown, and Black children bowed to her. "Good evening, Miss Carol."
She had almost forgotten how to smile but she managed a not completely fake smile. The children scampered to their places on the paved street and one of them put a disc in a boom box and they danced like nobody was watching. Even the ones who didn't dance well danced joyfully. Their smiles gleamed in the evening light. After a couple of songs the children sat on the patio beside her. Christie deserted her to join Delcie and the other adults who danced to "Ease on Down the Road" and "Footloose". Again they were not all great dancers but they all seemed to express joy in the movements. Most of the kids flooded out to join them and after two songs Delcie and Christie made their way to her flopping rather ungracefully onto the bench beside two ragamuffin children who had taken their seats.
The girl must be around seven. Mixed race. Pretty with lots of hair that could stand a good brushing. Carol remembered her mother telling her to "calm" that hair down. It had been long and curly and every evening her mother would brush it for her. Sophia's hair was straight as a board. Not one curl in it but Carol would brush it every evening because she remembered how much she had loved it when her mother did it.
The boy must be about the same age. Black hair, blue eyes, and there were probably freckles underneath all the grime. Both children looked like they lived with wolves. Delcie introduced them as Alia and Kiernan. Alia took Carol's hand, "I am very pleased to meet you, Miss Carol."
"I am very pleased to meet you, Miss Alia." She's adorable but I bet she is handful.
Kiernan didn't make eye contact and gave a head nod. He reminds me of Daryl. Not going to think about Daryl. He is just someone who used to be my best friend. Like Sophia who used to be my daughter.
Delcie asked, "How did you like it?"
"It was wonderful, but why do they do it?"
Christie answered, "Did you ever read the book, "The Slave Dancer?"
Carol shook her head. "No."
"It's written for young adults. A white boy who can play the flute is kidnapped and taken on board a slave ship. He is forced to play for the kidnapped Africans who are brought up from the filth of the ship's hold once a day. The sailors make them dance to the music of the flute. Then they are sent back down to the hold, but just getting out in the clean air and getting to move kept more of them alive. Ezekiel says that no matter how terrible this world can be we need to dance. Ezekiel believes that God respects us when we work, but loves us when we dance. That was from some hippie movie that he saw when he was young, but I think he's right. The people here work hard every day but in the evening we dance." Christie stood up, "I better take you back."
Delcie stood up, "You go on to the fellowship hall and dance. I'll take Carol back."
Carol was soon back in bed and Delcie turned on the lamp. The days were shorter now and it would be dark in the room soon. She wanted the light on so if she woke up in the night she would know immediately that she was in the Kingdom and not alone. Christie and Delcie's rooms were close by.
Delcie handed her a glass of water. "Someday I would like to see you dancing beside us. In the winter we dance in the fellowship hall but sometimes we go out and dance when it's snowing. That's the most amazing feeling to dance while the snow whirls around you. We have a harvest dance on the full moon in October and that's only a week away".
Carol was tired but it almost felt good to be tired. This wasn't the exhaustion of keeping her mask on and her feelings at bay. Her fingers had been tapping with the music and she had wanted to get out of that chair and join the dancers. A stray memory curled itself through her defenses. Carly and I would sneak out to go to clubs so that we could dance. Two wine coolers and dancing all night had been my idea of a wild Saturday night. Ed beat the dancing fever right out of me, but was it there someplace waiting to be reborn?
The talk that night was on losses. Delcie's husband had died of cancer five years ago and her two sons had been working at a ranch in Wyoming when everything went wrong. Hearing her story made it easier for Carol to talk about losing Sophia. She dreamed of Sophia that night. Sophia was dancing in the dream. Autumn leaves were falling as she moved and Carol took her hand and they danced together.
The next few days were quiet. She went out every evening to watch the dancing and one by one she was learning the names of the dancers. Alia and Kiernan would dance and then come to sit close to her. She wanted to tell them to go away but they sat so quietly watching the others. Every evening Alia brought her wildflowers and Kiernan would carefully place an apple in her hand. Alia's selection was always a riot of color and Carol would put the newest selection in a vase and throw the old one out. Kiernan's apples didn't look like the perfectly packaged in plastic fruit that used to be sold at supermarkets. They were bruised and a bit battered but they tasted like warm Virginia summers and cool mountain breezes and she enjoyed every bite.
She met Ezekiel Jackson the leader of the Kingdom. Ezekiel was and was not like Rick. Ezekiel had been a marine and she sensed that he could make the hard calls like Rick. The Kingdom would have been overrun by walkers if he hadn't pushed his group to get walls up and start growing their own food. That was Rick.
Ezekiel had welcomed her to the Kingdom. That was probably the biggest difference. Rick regarded everyone he met as a potential threat and he was quick to kill. Ezekiel might be a warrior-king like David in the Bible, but regarded everyone he met as a potential friend. He made her feel welcome.
Delcie or Christie would take her for a long wheelchair ride around the Kingdom every day. People would stop their work to wave at her and ask how "Sister Carol" was feeling and she was starting to believe herself when she answered, "Better".
AN
The Kingdom as it was depicted in the comic wasn't a place that I wanted to write about. The Kingdom in my story is a place in which all faiths are appreciated but the inhabitants will fight. There aren't any tigers around. Delcie and Christie are characters that I have incorporated in my stories. Jesse Graham will show up soon.
Carol and children go together. Those darn kids just pop up out of nowhere and steal her heart. So Alia and Kiernan will be part of Carol's healing.
"The Slave Dancer" is a real book. It doesn't bother to sugar coat the slave trade or racism. The captives are made to dance so that they won't die from lying chained in one spot. The inhabitants of the Kingdom dance because it makes them feel better. Music and movement go together and it is hard to be miserable when you are dancing.
"God Loves You When You Dance" (paraphrased) was a real movie. It's on youtube now. The good ole days of the sixties and seventies. (Everyone looked completely stoned). Here is the link.
watch?v=1jdeU9na_zs&ebc=ANyPxKpPot-sQ4Pz4PGhGVKaUZTYTMVwLAx3gKh7Ag9hv6W-HvopQ2gw-NddcQqaR9dwWOan4jFtE3zgd49aP8-uoM7pOVj0cw
Carol isn't wasting away from grief over leaving Daryl (or Tobin for that matter). She is struggling to regain her health, physically and emotionally. I want Carol to put her own wellbeing at the top of her list. Morgan will come back in next chapter and she will find out some of what is going on in Alexandria. I am still a Caryl shipper and that will come into play in later chapters.