Mon Coryphée

"Sa Mère Merle-bleu"

In that moment, Shadow realized there was nowhere to put his flowers. Sprig chamomile, stem red daisy, and stalk sunflower with nowhere to rest. Nothing to lay over. The bouquet would never be a waste of money, because he'd picked it himself. Even if it was custom-made and florist-bought, he'd never consider it a waste. Down to the sparkling ribbon tie, Shadow never threw the flowers away.

Much to the displeasure of his father.

Shadow waited. Like Rapunzel, he awaited his freedom. Though unlike her modern depictions, he was not imprisoned in a tower. He was very much able to go outside. He made many acquaintances, from school and work, and gained high accolades for his achievements.

Never to be heard, only to be seen. That was the only time his father was happy with him. So many kudos, so many thanks, and gratitude and hope. Yet no: "How is he doing today?" "He looks sad." "Is he alright?" "Does he need a break?"

Merlot recanted all the questions that never came his way. Other happenings prevented them from coming up. Merlot was sly. Merlot was unconcerned for Shadow's wellbeing. His guests—whether it be a private dinner or a public banquet—could never ask him those questions. Maybe they wanted to, but couldn't? Maybe they were just being courteous and didn't want to cause a scene, lose their prospective partnerships, and such a renowned asset? Maybe they didn't care. Maybe they couldn't care.

Because Merlot never gave them the chance.

This Rapunzel never let down her hair. Shadow was well aware that he was becoming an ice prince. He was forbidden to forge close relationships with people; his father always said "Friendship is any competitor's undoing." Meaning, if Shadow made friends with his rivals he'd be reluctant in pursuing his own dreams.

However, Shadow never saw the maxim as a personal truth, since being a performer was never his dream.

Then, upon entering seventh grade, the hedgehog found himself to be surprisingly flexible. Friends were made against his father's wishes. In fact, he converted his dread for dance into energy towards an inner sanctum. He danced to pop rhythms and began to like them. He listened to rock music from all over the world. He had a penchant for lip-syncing in different languages, but a certain Chameleon helped him master Japanese. An Echidna, who intimidated him slightly due to height differences, shared a love of music with him. He chanced a mention of J-Rap and J-Pop to Shadow; something about radio music had "lost its pizazz," according to him.

He and a blue Hedgehog had been new to the school, to the system and its rules, two years ago. They were close, like brothers, and grooved in the middle of lunch periods when a good song came on the radio. It was a blessing that the radio could be listened to at Wilhelmshaven Junior High. It served as an inspiration channel for the students. Especially those two, who danced together like no one was looking despite everyone looking. Some cheered, clapped to the beat, even joined in.

The phenomenon astounded Shadow. He never knew they had it in them. Suddenly, he was wishing he did.

"I'm gonna protect you."

Sonic the Hedgehog wanted to climb the tower. He knew Shadow was reluctant to unlock the tower door. So they both witnessed the days turn into weeks, into months, and into years. If he couldn't reach the top, he could at least try. And he tried, and tried, for six years straight. Every day was an attempt to climb it. He usually wound up slipping and falling. But he didn't mind it; he knew each day brought him—at the most—a fraction of an inch closer to Shadow. His antisocial wall was melting slowly. It was also freezing back up every day. But not as thick as the layer before. Sonic the Hedgehog was an impatient guy. He sometimes had to throw his impatience into a ditch and cheer himself up.

"I'm gonna protect you like I always have. I'm not giving up on you, Shadow."

One day, a midnight brunet train, hiding streams of luscious strawberry, would cascade down. One day, Sonic would reach him. One day, Shadow would run away with him and never look back. That one day out of those six years would be most precious. Shadow had to endure, and Sonic had to pick him up when he was down.

Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high,
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby…

However, the cuts were deep. They bled, reopened more frequently than healed. They hurt. They stung. And it repeated each time Merlot struck him: Each time a performance was not at its highest caliber. Each time there were not enough roses cast onstage. When not enough spectators stood, clapped, and lauded him. When event planners and theatre managers did not call for encore performances. When profits were too low. Then, when Merlot berated him.

A vicious cycle from which Shadow could not escape. At least, not alive.

His mother, as lovely and loving as she was, did escape Merlot's clutches. They had been even tighter on her, Shadow recalled.

Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true…

Shadow's mother loved sunflowers. But, in a moment when she thought she was alone, she would express her sympathy for the flower: "You strive for the sun's warmth and light, yet you know you'll never reach it." Its source of yearning gave it its name. She didn't want it to have sad connotations; that's why it was her favorite.

"But that's okay, isn't it? You don't want to touch the sun, because it's simply too hot. Too much of a good thing can be bad. So enjoy its warmth from where you are, okay?"

It was a happy flower, bright yellow and with tasty seeds. It was taller than her—and even Merlot, so that was a plus. Shadow loved running up and down the sunflower rows. Games of his mother's invention, "Leaf Tag," could go on for hours. If Merlot wasn't so mean and bossy. He hogged most of Shadow's time with her, doing God knows what. The boy would be left to study or practice dance movements alone, sometimes.

No number of books or music tapes could keep his attention away from his worry.

"Don't worry, Shadow," he remembered her saying to him as calmly as possible. "…Mother's okay."—when she clearly wasn't. Her cheeks, neck, and wrists would be tinged. "Mother's here…to make you happy, Shadow." Even though she wasn't happy herself.

Someday I'll wish upon a star,
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me!
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops—
That's where you'll find me…

"I miss you, Mother."

There was nowhere else to put the bouquet. There was no gravestone. There was no marker—merely a place where flowers had been time and time before. It was off a ways from the main curve to Vermilion Terrace. He didn't want to stray too far; his father would surely be displeased. Plus, he didn't want to remember the exact place his mother had been so crudely buried in. Withered petals had been scattered along the tree line. Lady Winter's freeze had come and gone, and one never went by without Little Shadow worrying about his dead mother being cold.

"I'm sorry for being too young to save you."

The chamomile sprigs, red daisies, and sunflower stalks had wilted. Their ribbon drooped.

Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly…
Birds fly over the rainbow, why then, oh why can't I…?

The days were long to Shadow. Watching the Blue Blur struggle up the tower wall accrued into an endless string of dread-filled wakeups, hopeless sunsets, and tearful nights.

"Mother loves you, Shadow."

Sonic knew there would be a morning where dread disappeared when Shadow woke up. The morning would grow, like his mother's sunflowers, and he'd finally reach the top. He could see himself huffing and puffing and laughing and crying, waiting for Shadow to react.

A single tear spoke volumes.

"It's okay to smile for Mother, Shadow."

Bed sheets flew up and away. Shadow's feet pattered over to Sonic, and his arms made him into a living necklace. Sonic wanted to fall to the floor with him, holding him, kissing him, and crying with him. Just as bluebirds sang from his windowsill.

If happy little bluebirds fly, beyond the rainbow…
Why, oh why can't I?

Sa Mère Merle-bleu Set.

Quick Ref: Insert Song - "Somewhere over the Rainbow."