Disclaimer:I don't own VD neither the books or the TV version. I don't gain any profits from it. This writing is just for fun. The amazing characters are from L.J. Smith and CW. I don't own the song Conciencia by Omar Alfano. No harm intended.
This is a one shot. I needed to write it so I can keep it out of my mind already...XD
It is AU and the character can be a little bit OOC, so I'm sorry. I almost forgot it is after Shadow Souls. Damon after being human he was change to his old vampire self.
I really hope you'll like it.
Conscience vs. Heart
Bonnie POV
This was fate. It has to be. Why in the whole world Mrs. Stevens would assigned me this song. Please it's Spanish class for God's sake! I'd just picked it up because Italian was full. I had no choice!
She wants me to translate the song from Spanish to English. I really expected a silly song an easy song. A song that didn't mess with my feelings and emotions. Yes, my feelings and emotions. I needed to decide what I want. What would I let win, my heart or my conscience?
I felt some taps on my window. I looked at the gorgeous crow perch on my windowsill. His feathers were so shiny. They were so lustrous like deep black onyx.
I sighed and opened my window, so he could finally enter my room. Even if I wanted to I couldn't stop him. Elena invited him long time ago. It wast by mistake, but still a good invitation that can't be revoke. I walked some steps when I heard him settle on my bed. I let out a weary sigh. Ok, here we go again!
"What do you want Damon?"
"Mmmm I'm bore. So I decide to look at my personal entertainment."
I could feel my anger rising up. We had discussed this more times that I could remember. "I'm not a toy, Damon. And I have homework. Would you just leave me alone, please?".
"Nope"
"No, why?"
"You own me an answer, Red Bird?"
"Damon, I can't…. I don't know… What everybody." At that moment he stood up from my bed. I could feel his anger. In mere seconds he pinned me against the wall. I heard his low whisper that it was almost like a growl. "Admit it, Little Bird. We bonded when I was a human. Before that we kissed twice. You already told me that and I believe you. So why you can't admit that I'm the guy for you."
After that he kissed me. His kiss almost made my knees give away. I needed to break our kiss. I didn't want to, but I needed to breathe. He understood and let me go. He stroked my cheek softly. "I will seek my answer tomorrow. It depends on you if I stay or go away from Fells Church"
Then he disappeared. What will I do? My mind and heart were a mess. I walked to my bathroom to spray some water on my face. I needed to cool down my emotions. After some minutes I decided to do my homework maybe doing trivial and common things would help me to clear up my head and hopefully my heart too.
I prepared the materials, the song, my notebook, dictionary and my pen. Mrs. Stevens said we have to this the old way. I guess she wanted us to find and practice new vocabulary. I read my song again. The title was Conciencia. I guess the translation is Conscience. Well at least I have the title and the author. I wrote it down, Conciencia by Omar Alfano. I began to wonder; Why a song about conscience? Why did the author wrote a song about conscience. Why? I gave a sigh and begin my second attempt to do my homework.
Ella tiene la magia de un instante de amor
Y su mirada un toque de misterio
Cuando ella llega siempre, suelo perder el control
No vuelvo a ser el mismo si la beso.
After fifteen minutes I finished the first verse. Oh my! It would be a long night. I wrote the translation of the first verse on my notebook.
She possess the magic of a moment of love
And her gaze has a touch of mystery
When she arrives I always lost my control
It is impossible to be the same after I Kiss her.
I wished with all my heart that Damon feels that way for me. Maybe I was a fool to expect something that huge from him and for me. It was true we bonded but; he never actually said I love you. Then again he was the kind of guy who do things. He acts, period! I couldn't expect words. I snapped out of my reverie and continued with the next verse.
I read it several times, I looked up every word. I was so tired and this was taking too much time. Between every word that I wrote down I thought about him. I couldn't do anything with my mind at this moment. It was like my mind had a life of its own. I decided to take a break. A good long bath, hear some music and relax.
Damon POV
I watched her struggling with her homework. She read and tried to write but she keep spacing out every now and then. She stood up and picked some clothes, a towel and her ipod. She walked to the bathroom and closed the door.
The window was still open. I decided to look what was she writing about. Mmmm! This looked like a song. She only translated the first verse. I read it.
La conciencia me dice que no la debo querer y
El corazón me grita que si debo
La conciencia me frena, cuando la voy a querer y
El corazón me empuja hasta el infierno
Al abismo dulce y tierno de sus besos.
Cuando se aferra un querer al corazón
y la conciencia no tiene la razón
No valen los consejos
Cuando se prueba del fruto del querer
Cuando se aprende a sentir mas de una vez
No queda mas remedio que darle cielo y alas al amor
Y hacer de lo difícil lo mas bello.
La conciencia me dice que la debo olvidar
Y el corazón me grita que no puedo
La conciencia no sabe que no se puede hacer mas
Cuando te vuelves preso de unos besos
De un te quiero, del deseo, del corazón.
Me dice el corazón
Que la quiera y me entregue sin condición
Pero me grita la conciencia
Que lo piense bien que no cometa esa imprudencia
Me dice el corazón
Olvidar es mejor la pasada experiencia
Pero me grita la conciencia
Peligro, cuidado utiliza la razón
Me dice el corazón
No pierdas por nada esta ocasión
Pero me grita la conciencia
Equivocarte de nuevo no puede ser coincidencia
Me dice el corazón
Dale paso al amor que esta tocando a tu puerta
Pero me grita la conciencia
Te va hacer llorar te va hacer sufrir traera decepción
Me dice el corazón
Rindete el amor te venció
Pero me grita la conciencia
Parece pero no es eso pasa con frecuencia
Me dice el corazón
que debo quererla
Pero me grita la conciencia
Que no es hora de querer no hace falta una desilusión
Me dice el corazón
Que no se puede querer con inteligencia
Pero me grita la conciencia
Y que no se ponen de acuerdo la conciencia y la razón.
I couldn't believe it, this song was almost what I feel for her. I shrugged a little. Now I sounded like Saint Stefan. My short period as human was still affecting me but; sometimes I wondered if all this conflicting reactions and emotions were because I was human or if the true reason was the Little Bird. I'm not the romantic and sentimental type but this was a good opportunity.
I sat down and began to write...
Bonnie POV
Ahhh! I feel so relaxed and with renewed energy. I even doze off a little at my bath. I really needed that. I decided to let Damon go. It was the right and logical decision. The safest road was to let him go. Every time I told myself that and repeated it as a mantra. Still my heart quench of pain and sadness.
I walked to my desk and saw a folded paper with my name on it. I opened it and gasp. It was the song already translated to English. I looked at it amazed. His handwriting was so elegant. He did it with care. I began to wrote the English version on my notebook.
My conscience tells me I can't love her
My heart screams; love her
My conscience restrains me, asking when I will love her.
My heart push me toward her hell of...
her sweet and tender abyss of her kisses.
When a heart is seized by love
the conscience is wrong
Any advise against it wont matter
when one has tasted the fruit of love.
When we learn to feel more than once
We have no choice to give our love wings
and do the impossible the most beautiful thing.
My conscience tells me forget her
My heart shouts I can't forget
My conscience doesn't know, I can't do anything about it
when my heart is trapped with love and desire
My heart tells me
Love her, surrender everything without any conditions
But my conscience yells me
Think it through don't do it.
My heart tells me
Forget past experiences
But my conscience shout to me
Danger, be careful use your reason.
My heart tells me
Don't lose this opportunity
My conscience yells me
Making the same, mistake, can't be a coincidence
My heart tells me
Grant pass to love is knocking at your door.
But my conscience shout out
It will bring deception, you will cry, it will hurt.
My heart tells me
Surrender yourself love defeated you
My conscience screams
It appears to be real, that happen frequently.
My heart tells me
I should love her
My conscience yells
You don't need a deception, it is not the time to love.
My heart tells me
You can't love with reason
My conscience shout
It is impossible to have an agreement
between reason and love.
I finished writing down the gift that Damon left me. It was certainly a gift for me. He saved my life. Ok, I was acting a little over dramatic but I expected no sleep at all. Now I could get some sleep and tomorrow... I will tell him my decision.
I began to order my mess at the desk and with extreme caution I put away the Spanish and Damon's translation song in my diary. When I was about to sit on my bed I saw something on my pillow. I looked at it curiously. I found another piece of paper with my name on it. I opened it and...
Damon POV
I tapped her window. I really didn't care if she had school or if her entire family was with her. I kept knocking until she stirred. She opened her window. She was looking at me drowsily.
I was about to say something when she interrupted me. "I have your answer, but at least let me some human time."
I nodded. She walked toward her bathroom. After 15 minutes she walked out. She sat down beside me on her bed.
"Well Red Bird, I'm waiting."
She looked at me and handed me the same paper that I left on her pillow. She wrote her answer under my message. She whispered; please read everything out loud.
I complied...
Red Bird:
It's true; reason and love will never have an agreement.
I'm asking not as a vampire, not as a human, just as a man that loves you.
I'm willing to take the risk. Are you ready too?
Te amo,
Damon
PS: Don't ever show this to anyone... I have a reputation!
Damon:
I'm willing.
Ti amo, I love you, Te amo,
Bonnie
PS: This small letter is mine I will show it if I want!
After I read it I looked at her and asked her: "For Eternity?"
She stood up and offered me her hand. I obliged, she encircle her arms around my neck and in a low whisper she answered: "Time will tell... and time is an eternity."
After that I kissed. She responded to my kiss. Finally my little bird was mine, all mine.
A/N: Maybe I'm to romantic. I can't say this is a true songfic, so I feel is more like a one shot. Let me know what do you think about it. The link it down there. Please Review.