Equal partner

by Ellstra

What does Kyle think about all the things that hapenned after Wanda came?

„Kyle?" Jodi looks at me and her dark eyes are scanning me as they used to ages ago, when we were together, when everything was ok and there were no souls, nothing that could divide me and her. No, it´s not Jodi. It´s her body, her voice but the eyes are different. They´re Sunny´s.

It´s not her fault and I´m the first person who is always surprised when I feel something for her. I should hate her, shouldn´t I? She stole my lover´s body and caused Jodi is gone. Forever. She disappeared. Was she there or did she vanish just when they put Sunny inside her? Thoughts like this hurt me, but I can´t stop it. It´s still too new, it´s just few months I finally lost hope I´ll get Jodi back. I guess I will never be the same I was because she is gone, but from how Ian looks at me I suppose I´m getting back. I know I was terrible last six years when we lived here. I can´t stop blaming myself from Wanda´s suffering here and I know Ian blames me too. He would never admit because he tries to be like Wanda, but I know he does. I understand him more than he thinks.

I would be much worse if he tried to kill Jodi. Or Sunny. Does it matter? Now it does. Jodi is past, still in my heart but dead. Why soft words, this is the truth. Sunny is presence. Sunny is here and even though I thought I would hate everybody who touched Jodi – especially the soul who stole her – I can´t. I still hate souls in general, but now I don´t say they are all the same. Most of them are really the creatures I despise for their naivety and their: Love is all we want, we don´t want to hurt you. It´s sick. Maybe they don´t want to, but they did. They stole so many beloved ones from us – not just Jodi, but Jared´s brothers, Melanie´s and Jamie´s father, our parents. They are parasites.

But some of them are worth living. It makes me sad how much Wanda had to suffer before she convinced us she´s not what we expected. She´s not stupid, she doesn´t obey their rights. But it took us so much time. I tried to kill her. It was the worst thing I´ve ever done. And she saved my life. I still can´t understand why she did it. She´s the best creature I´ve known even though I would never admit. She has the best of both our species – she has emotions, she is strong and brave as humans are, but she´s caring and forgiving as only soul can be.

Ian saw this just before anybody else did. Jeb protected her, but I don´t think he really liked her so much as Ian did. Moreover, he believed his niece is still in, the same as Jamie. For him, his child´s mind, it was absolutely clear. He could imagine Melanie in Wanda´s sight better than anybody else. For him there were always two of them – Wanda, his friend who was telling him stories from other, unknown planets and Melanie, his beloved sister who occasionaly appeared. It should have been easier for Jared, but I know he was badly ambivalent. On one hand he wanted me to kill Wanda – I know it. Maybe not that late when I tried to do it, but in the early weeks he wished it badly. But it was Melanie´s body. That´s why he didn´t let me – or Ian – to kill her. Because when her body was here, there was a slight chance he could gain Melanie back. If we killed her, it would be the end.

I still can´t understand what led Ian to like Wanda. Why did he start to protect her instead of trying to kill her. I wasn´t here when it was happening so I can only guess, but I´m pretty sure it surprised Wanda as much as me. She didn´t expect us to like her and I think during the first months she was very scared to be here. Then she gained their trust. I don´t have to think about how she managed it. She was herself. Because inside she´s beautiful.

I remember how we came back to the caves after long time outside and found her in the dinning room talking about her past lives as if she was doing it for a long time. I hated myself for being curious. I wanted to know as much about these creatures as possible. I still do. But for another reason – I want to know how they could be so clear. How they can love so much, where do they gain the power to forgive somebody who tried to kill them. I don´t suppose all of them can do it. It´s just Wanda.

I didn´t like her. I guess it´s because I didn´t allow her to come closer, to show me what is good in her. I only saw her as a soul, part of system which stole my world. And also my brother. He was absolutely enchanted by her and I thought it was another trick she tried to destroy me. I was self-centered. I understood how good she was when she didn´t let Aaron and Brandt to kill that Seeker even though I saw how much she hated her. Before – when she disobeyed Jeb´s regulation and saved Jamie I still could deceive myself she did it for herself because she tried to look good in Jared´s eyes so he didn´t want to destroy her. But with that Seeker it was different. That was when I realized she didn´t try to suffocate us in sleep, she didn´t want to bring us to other souls. She really cared about us. Maybe not all of us – not me, for example – but at least for some of us. I saw how desperate she was when they told her Wes was dead. She didn´t pretend anything.

I tried to look at her in different way. I couldn´t see her as a saint as Ian did, but I stopped hating her. She deserved more than hatred and attempts to kill her. I didn´t realize everything about why did she show Doc how to remove soul from human´s body, but I suspected something. Not Ian of course – he was absolutely lost in his love, absolutely blind. But I want to know if Jared knew anything. Did he think she was gonna sacrifice herself for Melanie and didn´t say anything because he wanted his beloved girl back? I don´t know and I can´t find courage to ask him. I wouldn´t blame him – I know how I was desperate to bring Jodi back. But maybe he blames himself. I don´t want to make it worse.

I didn´t tell Ian because I was satisfied with her leaving us. And he wouldn´t listen to me, I supposed. It was a bad excuse but it was enough for me. When I saw Doc managed to remove the Seeker from that body, I didn´t wait for anything. It was so many years ago I felt something but hatred or anger. Everything in the caves was resonating with echo of joy – we finally found something to be happy about. Hope. We believed we could get back everybody.

But I was the only one who acted. I didn´t see any diference between the Seeker and the human – Lacey. They were both unbearable. The only thing that changed was the silver which had disappeared from her eyes. Why wouldn´t Jodi come back as Lacey did?

I left caves and went back to her mother´s home. She loved her a lot so I decided to start searching for her here. It was so easy to get her. I thought she would struggle, she would resist but she was silent and resigned. Almost happy to see me. I didn´t understand until she spoke.

´You are Kyle,´ she said and I petrified. I turned to look at her and I almost could forget that slight silver ring in her eyes. She was Jodi. Jodi was back. With me. At least I believed it. We were talking about less or more serious things, I tried to let her calm because I really didn´t want her to be unhappy or scared of me. She was very nice and I was glad Doc can remove soul from body without need to kill it. I wanted Sunny to have long, happy life. But not here. There wasn´t enough space for her. She said again and again that she wanted to stay here on Earth because she liked it here more than on her previous planet. I said her she didn´t have to worry but I knew it´s not true. Wanda wouldn´t let her live here. It´s too dangerous. I felt terrible for lying to this innocent soul who trusted me so much. When she looked at me it was almost as if I betrayed not just her but also Jodi. Luckily she didn´t want me to promise it. She trusted me. I felt even worse.

Then I came to the caves and it was almost the same as when Wanda came. Unless now it wasn´t the soul people wanted to kill. No, now it was me. They thought I had betrayed them – and I had – when I had left. But I just wanted to get the girl I loved. Was it something I should be blamed for? Did they blame Jared or Ian? Luckily Wanda came before they killed us both.

Sunny didn´t want to let me go, she held my arm so tightly it almost hurt. When she saw the cryotanks it scared her so I automatically pull her closer. Wanda finally convinced her to let me go and embraced her neck. But I had to stay with them. I didn´t mind at all.

I will never forget two things that happened later. Faces of two people I love. First it was the expression of devotion and love in Jodi´s face and Sunny´s eyes. In that moment I was absolutely unable to distiguish them. Was it Jodi, awake from such a long sleep, or Sunny who loved me just pursuant Jodi´s memories and our short journey? I didn´t know. But I felt so happy about it. It made me feel good, it showed me that not everybody hated me and wanted to kill me. Sunny said she was missing me, she was dreaming about me. Did this mean Jodi is still in? I hadn´t met her so it must have been Jodi´s thoughts. I hoped she was still alive.

And then it was Ian´s face. I have never seen him so furious – before or after that moment. That rage which could have been seen in my face so often now appeared in his. I felt guilty which was stupid – it was Wanda who angered him. But I felt it was my fault too. Sunny, who hadn´t seen me like that, almost died by fear and hid herself in my arms. I embraced her. But she still held Wanda´s arm.

´What´s the problem, Ian?´ I asked, surprised with depth of his passion.

´Wanda,´ he hissed through gritted teeth and pulled her up. She jumped up, taken aback by the strenght in his arms. Jodi stood up with her, still holding her arm. Ian shook them so heavily Sunny fell down on me.

´What´s wrong with you?´ I yelled. I guess it wasn´t the best thing I could have done. Ian´s eyes narrowed and I realized how it must have been like for Wanda when I had tried to kill her. And Ian wasn´t looking at me with hate as I surely had. He kicked me in the face.

´Ian!´ Wanda screamed. Everything hurt. I felt terribly. He had never done this before, even though he had much better reasons than now. Sunny stood in front of me trying to protect me. It was cute, but she crashed into me so I fell on the ground again.

´Come with me!´ Ian growled and grabbed Wanda´s hand.

´Ian…´ he didn´t respond to his name and pulled her away. So much for his love.

I understand why did he do it but it still surprised me. Meanwhile I convinced Sunny she couldn´t stay but she cried so much it hurt me. She looked so desperate, so sad. Why did I feel like this? It was neccessary to get Jodi back. Did I know – deeply inside – that Jodi was gone? I don´t know. Last words she told me before Doc made her sleep broke my heart.

´No matter where you send me, even as a flower, I will always love you, Kyle.´ I shut my eyes but I wasn´t fast enough. Tear escaped my eye and suddenly I was shaking with sobs. It was very unfamiliar sound for me and for Doc. He stopped operation and put a hand on my shoulder. I looked at him.

´She will be happy. Both of them,´ he said with a strange passion in eyes. I nodded and let him work. I held Jodi´s – or Sunny´s – hand while he was putting her out. When she removed Sunny out, he gave her to my hand. I held her before he made the cut on Jodi´ s neck almost invisible. I didn´t realize Jared was standing next to me with that box until he touched my shoulder. I felt terrible to put Sunny in it – it was so cold, she surely wouldn´t want to be in it – but I did. I gave myself last caress of this soul even though she didn´t feel it. It was for me. I liked her.

Jared closed heavy cover after her and I took the box from him. He looked a bit surprised as if he expected Ian to do this not me. It didn´t matter, I didn´t care. I had to take care after Sunny while she was on Earth. I didn´t want to leave her, to put her somewhere and let her go on other planet billions of kilometres far away from me.

Doc healed my face and let me beside Jodi with Sunny in arms. It was strange. In past years I was awful to everybody and now I sat here, holding hand of a girl I used to love and clutching a box containing soul I knew for just few days. Was I Kyle O´Shea at all?

I don´t know how much time passed. I didn´t care. It was uncomfortable, but I couldn´t leave them alone. Doc slept but I refused to. He ate but I wasn´t able to swallow anything. I just stared at Jodi´s motionless body and saw a reflection of shining place on the box, where Sunny slept, calm and not worried. I hoped she wouldn´t be unhappy on the other planet. I believed Wanda was right about it.

She came to visit us. Or maybe not me because she was probably still scared of me, but Sunny and Jodi. She looked sad as if she cried and as if she was carrying all the world´s problems upon her shoulders. Even though, I didn´t pay much attention to her. I was too busy with my two beloved. Where is Ian when she needs him? I thought. Somehow I knew it was him who made her cry. Not pruposefully, of course, but still it was him. I found myself not willing her to go. Was it Sunny who made me change my decision or was it inside me and she just woke it up? I didn´t want Wanda leave because she gave us hope. She was more useful for us than I will ever be. I felt bad for what I have done to her.

´You´ll want to be gentle with that,´ she murmured looking on Sunny´s cryotank in my arms. I pull it closer. Doc who was counting the frequency of Jodi´s pulse pressed his lips together and started to count again. I hoped it was because Wanda interrupted him and not because the results were bad.

´Yeah, Doc told me that,´ I said but I didn´t look at her, I was too busy with looking for a sign of life in Jodi´s face. I hoped she wouldn´t think I want to be impolite.

´I´m being careful. I just… didn´t want to leave her alone over there. She was so sad and so… sweet.´ My voice broke at the end but I didn´t think she registered it.

´I´m sure she´d appreciate it, if she knew.´ said Wanda. Oh yeah, she´d surely appreciate my care if she knew. But she would never know; if she even remember me when she wakes up again. I should hope she won´t remember me or won´t understand what she felt for me but the selfish part of me wants her to remember everything. I just nodded to show Wanda I´m listening to her.

´Is there something I´m supposed to be doing here? Is there some way to help?´

´Talk to her, say her name, talk about things she´ll remember. Talk about Sunny, even. That helped with the Healer´s host.´ Wanda shrugged.

´Mandy,´ Doc said automatically, ´she says it´s not exactly right, but it´s close.´

´Mandy,´ Wanda repeated as if she tried to remember it but I couldn´t fight myself when an idea, that she thought she didn´t need to, hit me. ´Where is she?´

´With Trudy – that was a good call there. Trudy´s exactly the right person. I think she´s gotten her to sleep.´ Doc answered. I didn´t care much about Mandy. Why should I have?

´That´s good. Mandy will be okay.´ Wanda said as if she was convincing herself she will be okay too.

´I hope so,´ Doc agreed with her and smiled a bit, but it wasn´t convincing at all. What are these two planning to do? I thought. ´I´ve got lots of questions for her.´

I didn´t pay them attention. It was Jodi and me. She looked so far away. She was pale, totally motionless. I frightened me but I didn´t let myself think about this. Wanda touched Jodi´s arm which surprised me a bit because I forgot she was there.

´Like this, Kyle,´ she said softly and caress Jodi´s arm. ´Jodi? Jodi, can you hear me? Kyle´s waiting for you, Jodi. He got himself to a lot of trouble getting you here – everybody who knows him wants to beat him senseless.´ I smile a bit because whatever her words made with Jodi, they made me feel better.

´Not that you´re surprised to hear that,´ I hear another voice, very familiar but not expected. I thought Wanda was alone here. Then I realize it was obvious he will be here. He probably tried not to let her go anywhere alone – especially the hospital – but I supposed he wasn´t able to keep her here. His sleep is too deep.

´You remember Ian, of course. Never has managed to catch up to me in anything but he keeps trying. Hey, Ian,´ I talk as if Jodi was here, probably upset with something I had done so she´s not responding. It had happened few times. ´you got anything you want to say to me?´ I add, addressing Ian but my sight didn´t leave Jodi´s face.

´Not really,´ Ian replied.

´I´m waiting for an apology.´ I said, but there was no need to, he knew what I was talking about.

´Keep waiting,´

´Can you believe he kicked me in the face, Jodi? For no reason at all.´ I hid smile. I loved these arguments with Ian

´Who need an excuse, eh, Jodi?´ Ian returned and I knew he was smiling too.

´Keep it up, Kyle,´ Wanda whispered. ´That´s just right. She´ll come around.´ I wanted to believe her. I found out I was relying on her assumptions. I have to say her I don´t hate her. I need to, I feel like I don´t have much time.

´Wanda,´ I said not as confident as usual. What if she hated me, what if she laughed at me? Of course it was ridiculous, Wanda didn´t hate me after I tried to drown her.

´Yes?´ she answered a bit taken aback. I guessed she had been talking with Melanie.

´I´m sorry,´I said quickly.

´Um… why?´ Did she need to ask?

´For trying to kil you,´ I said, ´Guess I was wrong.´ That was all I could say I didn´t manage to say more. But it was enough for Ian. I hope it was enough for Wanda, too.

´Please, tell me you have some kind of recording device available, Doc.´ Ian grinned.

´Nope, sorry Ian,´ Doc replied, slight smile on his face.

´This moment should be preserved. I never thought I´d live to see the day Kyle O´Shea would admit to being wrong. C´mon, Jodi. That ought to shock you awake.´ Ian shook his head.

´Jodi, baby, don´t you want to defend me? Tell Ian I never have been wrong before.´ I squeeze Jodi´s hand. It would be such a nice moment if she really woke up. The O´Shea brothers, both with their beloved. It was ridiculous. Ian was gonna lose his girl soon and it wasn´t sure if Jodi was gonna come.

´I´m tired, Ian,´ Wanda said. She sounded convincing but I was closer to her and I saw her shaking hands. She lied to him – or better said she tried to get him to bed, because she knew how deeply he slept, I supposed. I looked at her. She looked absolutely normally, she smiled a bit. I tried to remember the silver rings around her pupils, because I knew next time I´ll see this girl, they won´t be here. But she wanted it like this and I shouldn´t have spoil her plans. If this was her will, I turned back to Jodi and didn´t look at Wanda anymore.

´I´ll bet you are. Did you stay up with the Heal-with Mandy all night?´ Ian asked. Usually he´s the more clever from us two, but now he was absolutely blind. He really believed she wouldn´t do it. Naive. I felt bad for him and hoped I won´t be near him when he finds out.

´Yeah,´ Wanda said.

´Have a nice night, Doc,´ Ian said. I doubt he realized Doc´s night was gonna be everything but nice. He liked Wanda almost as much as Ian did. ´Good luck, Kyle. We´ ll be back in the morning.´ I didn´t speak because I was afraid he would recognize I don´t believe they´ll return. Not together.

´Night, Kyle,´ she whispered. So that´s our good bye. I was sorry I couldn´t tell anything but I knew my voice would shake if I spoke, I felt tears in my eyes. ´See you, Doc,´

And then she was gone. I didn´t turn but I had to blink several times to fight the tears.

´She´s gonna do it today, isn´t she?´ I asked Doc. He looked at me.

´I don´t know, we didn´t agree on any exact time. But I guess she is.´

´I don´t want to see it. How can you stand even the thought?´ I asked him, caressing Jodi´s hand.

´I can´t. But I promised.´ He sighed. ´I was selfish. I wanted to know how to pull the soul out of human´s body that I promised her such a bad thing. I´m disgusted with myself, believe me or not.´ he said. I looked at him again and in his eyes I saw only sadness.

´I´m sorry, Doc. I know it´s not your fault,´ But the words were already spoken. Nothing I did could change it.

´You´d beter sleep, Kyle. I don´t think it will take much time for her to come.´ His voice sounded unfamiliar, but I didn´t speak. He didn´t want to talk either.

´Can I- Can I stay here? With them?´ I asked squeezing Jodi´s hand again.

´Sure.´ Doc says, ´You can lie down there-´ he pointed in the corner, ´with them both. I need this place for-´ he didn´t manage to finish the sentence. I understood. I stood up, brought Sunny´s tank on a cot here and returned for Jodi. Doc wanted to help me, but I refused. I pushed these two cots together and lied down. I embraced both of them even though it was uncomfortable – I couldn´t leave any of them alone.

´Be careful, Doc. Don´ t make her suffer,´ I said instead of usual goodnight. I knew he wouldn´t sleep at all this night.

´I will, Kyle. I like her more than you do. I would never harm her.´ He answered with a bit of upset in his voice.

´I´m sorry,´ I murmured.

´Good night, Kyle,´ he ended our conversation. I closed my eyes willing to fall asleep as soon as possible.

I was waken up by some noice. I opened eyes and saw Jared and Doc leaning over a body on another cot. But they weren´t what woke me. They exchanged sights and stood up facing the door. I realized the sound is coming from behind them and I knew what causes it before they spoke.

´Ian,´ they said in unisono. I gasped and shut my eyes. I knew it would be terrible and I didn´t feel any need to be a part of it. Then something much louder sounded and here in the cave it echoed few times. Opening and closing of door.

´Where is she?´ I have never heard my brother so angry and desperate in one. ´What have you done to her?!´

´Calm down, Ian,´ I heard Doc´s fine voice but it probably didn´t convince Ian as he wanted.

´NO! I WON´T! WHERE IS SHE?!´ He yelled. I guess if I wasn´t so far from him I would be frightened.

´Ian, be quiet. You´ll wake Kyle up,´ Jared said in authoritative tone. You´ve already managed to. I thought sarcasticaly. ´Wanda´s here. She´s okay.´

I kept my eyes shut but I guess Jared gave Ian Wanda´s cryotank. Few moments it´s absolute silence. And then familiar voice speaks, but in different tone and cadence. Did they just make some joke?

´Jared? Are you here?´ No, it´s not Wanda. She wouldn´t ask for Jared at first. No. Wanda was gone, peacefully dreaming in her cryotank as Sunny was.

´Mel?´ I´ve never heard Jared talking like this. So gently, so passionately. ´I´m here, honey. I´m here beside you.´

I couldn´t resist my curiosity. I had to see it. How it was like when human wakes up after a soul´s removing. I sat up and with Sunny´s cryotank in hand I went to them. I had to leave Jodi here but at least I protected Sunny.

´Where… where´s Jamie?´ Melanie asks. I came closer. Ian finally registered me.

´Hey, Kyle. Guess we´re in the same position now. Oh, just you lost two of them.´ He frowned at me. I supposed it must have been very ridiculous – both O´Shea brothers standing here with boxes containing creatures they both sworn to hate.

´I didn´t lose them. And so didn´t you.´ I said more confidently.

´Oh yeah we have them in boxes full of liquid nitrogen. What a beautiful lover!´ I had never seen Ian being so sarcastic before.

´Ian, let go. We´ll bring her back,´ It was Melanie to say this. She was surprisingly present. I couldn´t resist comparing her to Jodi´s motionless form.

´What do you know about her?´ He screamed at her. ´NOTHING! She wouldn´t want to be a parasite again.´ I knew he wasn´t right.

´I spent her whole life on this planet with her. I´ve known her for more than half of her life longer than you have. She was in my head. Do you think you understand her more than I?´ Melanie stood up with Doc helping her. Jared had gone somewhere, probably to bring Jamie.

´I LOVE HER! Doesn´t this mean anything?´ Ian yelled and sat down on a cot Melanie had lain on before. Then he burst to tears. It came so unexpectedly she touched his arm as if to calm him. Then she realized she was Melanie – not Wanda – and let him.

´Doc, where are you sending her?´ I asked silently.

´Nowhere. She wanted to stay here, with Wes and Walter.´ He looked into my eyes. I thought Ian would react, but he probably didn´t hear us. But Melanie did. From the expression on her face it was a truth.

´What? She wants to… die?´ I asked with surprise. Ian rose his head and stared at Doc.

´No! You can´t do this! I won´t let you.´ He clutched the cryotank so firmly it had to hurt him, but he didn´t care.

´I promised her I will do what she wanted me to. It was her last wish. Do you want me to break a promise I gave to Wanderer?´ Doc is calm but when he used her full name he surely thought about this before.

´Of course I do. You can´t kill her!´ Ian yelled again.

´I agree with him. Do you mean it seriously? You want just to kill her because she said it? If it was like that, she wouldn´t be here. You can´t obey what she says. She doesn´t think of herself at all.´ Melanie added. I didn´t feel like joining their debate.

´I don´t think Wanda was mentoly disordered. She said she wanted it like that several times.´

´Why are you talking about her in past tense?´ Ian asked with badly hidden fury.

´What´s up?´ Jared entered the room. Jamie was right behind him.

´Jamie!´ Melanie screeched and hugged him. He was a bit disoriented but when he saw what Ian was holding, he looked up in Melanie´s eyes.

´Melanie! Where´s Wanda? How dare you let her go?!´ he cried a bit. It was very crazy.

´I couldn´t resist. I wasn´t that strong, Jamie.´ She whispered and kissed him on the peak of his head.

´So we have to get her another body.´ Jamie said as if it was the easiest thing to do. I smiled a bit.

´Why do you smile, Kyle?´ Jared asked with a bit of anger.

´They were arguing about it for ages-´ I pointed at Ian, Doc and Melanie, ´and now this boy just comes and says it in a minute. It´s quite funny.´

´No. Nothing is funny when Wanda´s gone.´ said Ian.

´It´s unreasonable! You can´t do something she doesn´t want to.´ I don´t know if Doc was still determinated to bury her in front of the caves.

´Of course she wants. Oh god, I was in her head for months! I know what she wants and doesn´t want to. She wants to stay here – with Ian, me, Jared, Jamie, you and the others. But she decided to left because she couldn´t stand the thought she´s in my body, suffocating me, she thought she´s stealing my life.´ Melanie´s eyes blazed with determination. Ian was looking at her with hope, Jared stared at her as if she was a saint and Jamie was grinning widely. I couldn´t see Doc´s face, though. ´So we´re gonna get her some body. Some silent body if you know what I mean. But what we´re surely not gonna do is letting you to hide her in the ground.´ She pointed at Doc.

´You can get as much bodies as you want but you don´t know how to put her in.´ Doc said and went away, I didn´t know where, probably for food.

´Mel, aren´t you hungry?´ Jared asked.

´I´m not a baby, Jared.´ She laughed. ´I can speak at my own. And yes, I am. Let´s go for a breakfast.´ She smiled and grabed his hand. He looked as somebody else. As if somebody had stole the old Jared and returned a new, happy one. Ian stood up, not trying to wipe the tears on his cheeks. He looked desperate and went to the corner where Jodi lay. At first I thought he was gonna harm her so I yelled at him.

´Ian, don´t!´ He turned his head in my direction and gave me a startle gaze. I realized he didn´t try to cause anything bad to Jodi, he just couldn´t stand the look of Jared and Melanie, even though they were gone now.

´I´m sorry, I´m getting a bit paranoid.´ I murmured.

´It´s okay, may sit down? I don´t feel like going anywhere else but if you don´t want me to be here-´ he started.

´No it´s fine. Will you please look after them when I´ll go for some food?´ I realized I was hungry. Ian looked at me and nodded. I knew he was realizing what I was trying to say. That I trusted him and tried to show him that even though I wasn´t always nice to him, I loved him. All the feelings I had but couldn´t show.

´Sure. Will you get me something, too?´ he asked, staring on a cryotank in his hands.

´Of course. Don´t let anybody harm them, okay?´ I said and placed Sunny´s cryotank in his other hand. Against my will I laughed.

´What?´ He asked a bit upset.

´Nothing. It´s just that you look… funny. As a nanny or something. Be right back,´ I smiled and went away.

I brought us much food. I didn´t know when he had had his last meal, but I was very hungry. When I came back, Doc was still somewhere else but I saw Ian sitting on the cot, each cryotank by one side and holding Jodi´s hand. At first I want to shout. I let him here with her and he´s trying to- But then I realized it was stupid. I tried to stay silent to hear what he was saying.

´Jodi you know, he really loves you. It´s strange and nobody is more shocked than I am. But you should return. Please, Jodi. At least one of us should be happy.´

I almost believed she will wake up then. She didn´t.

´You know, he was unbearable most of the time. Now, when he believes he can get you back, he´s completely a different person. Please, Jodi, don´t take this hope from him.´ Ian continued.

´You know, you don´t have to be worried. It´s a really nice place here. You will love it, I´m sure. You don´t have to be scared. Kyle will kill anybody who would try to harm you.´ I guessed he smiled.

´C´mon, Ian. There´s no need to be so honest.´ I smiled and sit next to him. I grabbed one of the cryotanks and put it on my lap. Ian gave me an amused sight. He placed Jodi´s hand into mine and didn´t stop smiling.

´What?´ I asked when I couldn´t wait more. That´s for my patience.

´Nothing. It´s just that it´s Wanda you´re holding with such passion. It´s funny.´ I looked down on the tank. They were unrecognizable. I had no chance to find out if it is Sunny or Wanda.

´Jealous, brother?´ I returned to him.

´Absolutely. Luckily I have two of your girls here, you know.´ he replied and took Sunny´s cryotank in his arms. We both laughed and I felt a little bit better, even though it was just for a little while.

Very soon we stopped were both trying to wake Jodi up, but we didn´t manage. We just sat there, holding Jodi´s hands, talking to her and protecting the two cryotanks. Ian took Wanda from me after a while. I guess he thought he would take the best care of her. After few hours, Jared came. At first he didn´t speak, he just watched us sitting there, peacefully.

´Ian, we´re going to get a new body for Wanda. Do you want to come with us?´ He asked. Ian turned head in his direction. I could see dark marks under his eyes, he looked very tired. I promised myself I would force him to sleep a bit.

´No. I don´t care how she´ll look like. I have to guard her.´ He answered as if he was in trans or something.

´Really? I thought you would like to pick the body for her.´ Jared looked unsure.

´It´s not the body, can´t you understand? Oh, you can´t. Kyle, could you please hold Wanda for a while?´ He didn´t wait and put the tank on my lap. He stood up and came closer to Jared. He was staring into Jared´s eyes with rage. ´I love her. The soul. Not her body – I don´t care about how she looks like. You can put her in Kyle´s body, if you want. It would be embarassing, but I don´t care. Only thing I want is her. No matter what shape does the body have.´ I tried to ignore the thing about me.

´I´m sorry if I made you angry,´ Jared did few steps behind.

´You did. You can go,´ Ian turned and sat beside me, taking Wanda from my hands. Jared gave me a strange sight. I shrugged and he left.

After some time Jamie came too.

´Hey, Ian.´

´Hey, Jamie.´ Ian murmured, staring on Wanda´s tank.

´Jared says you don´t want to go with us.´

´Uhm…´ Jamie rose one eyebrow.

´I just wanted to say I´ll pick the best body we´ll see.´ Jamie looked excited.

´Thanks, Jamie. You´re the only one I trust with it.´

´What?´ Jamie was searching for an explanation, but I couldn´t give it to him. I didn´t know it either.

´Let go. Just make sure the body won´t have any other inhabitant.´ Ian sighs.

´Of course. Keep her safe,´

´I will,´ Ian replied and Jamie left.

In next few hours we didn´t do anything special. Sometimes one of us went to the bathroom or for a food, but mostly we were just sitting here, talking on Jodi. Doc came back, but we didn´t noticed him until he spoke.

´You two, you should sleep a bit.´

´No,´ we both refused.

´Hey. I´m a doctor and this staying awake is not helping your health. Do you believe I would harm them?´ He frowned.

´No. It´s just…´ Ian started but I thought about it deeper.

Finally he forced us to sleep. Like that it was during next few days. Jared, Melanie and Jamie were gone, searching for a body for Wanda, Jodi was motionless and Ian was almost as dead as her. I hated it. I felt so powerless, so useless.

´Hey Ian, we´re here!´ Jamie tried to be silent but he was too excited not to wake me. I didn´t blame him, actually I was glad for any distraction from this boredom. I opened eyes. Ian already stood up with tank which contained Wanda in hands, watching carefully what Jared was carrying. A body, of course.

But it was very tiny, as far as I could see. Didn´t they really bring a child, did they? It showed they didn´t but this girl – I wasn´t able to call her woman – was barely older than fifteen. Even though this body was perfect. It was so cute, so sweet, so innocent. So… Wanda. I stood up and went to them. Meanwhile Jared put her down on the cot. Doc was looking at her, scanning her face.

´Isn´t she perfect?´ Jamie grinned at Ian. My brother was staring at the girl in front of him as if he was trying to remember every detail of her.

´Yes, she is.´ I said, smiling.

´She looks exactly like Wanda, isn´t she? This is the best body Wanda could´ve had!´ Jamie is full of joy and I guess it´s absolutely changing mood in the room. Melanie had Jared´s arm wrapped around her waist and smiled widely. Doc didn´ t show any emotion, because he was oficially still decided to bury Wanda into the ground. And even Ian looked that he almost could smile.

´Thank you, Jamie.´ He said, but it was enough and more than any words from us. Ian agreed to put Wanda in this body, even though he had been determinated she didn´t want it. Now it was just neccessary to make Doc do it.

´Well, I´ll remove the soul from this body so it won´t kill itself, but don´t expect me to put Wanda inside. She would never forgive me.´ Doc said and frowned, ´get off.´

Everybody stepped backwards and we were all watching what Doc was doing. I was surprised, when Jamie was allowed to asist, but when I saw us, he was the only one who had empty hands. Doc´s hands were careful and confident. All the motions were quick and easy. Very soon the unnamed soul was resting in the cryotank.

Everybody was staring at the body Jamie and Doc turned on back. We didn´t know what to do.

´You can stay here and try to wake her up,´ Doc shrugged and left the circle. I didn´t pay much attention to him, but then he came to Jodi´s body. I quickly returned and stood up beside him. He was looking in Jodi´s motionless face and frowned. I mean really. I´d never seen so much worry in his face.

´She hasn´t responded yet, has she?´ He asked me silently. Maybe he did it to not attract attention of other people, but for me it sounded as if he was talking on a funeral. I felt hot tears in eyes. I wasn´t able to say it so I just shook head.

´Kyle, look at me,´ Doc´s voice was so serious I really rose head. ´I guess you know what does it mean.´

´I know. Of course I know, damnit. I know. I´ve suspected this for a while. Isn´t here any option? Anything? Please!´

´I don´t know, Kyle. I don´t know. You´ve seen as much as me. Melanie and Lacey woke up almost immediately. It took Mandy some time, but not that much. I´m sorry I can´t help her. Everything I know comes from what Wanda told me. I don´t know if there is something we can do.´

´Wanda told me she will wake up,´ I murmured.

´Of course she did. Did you forget how nice she was?´

´I will wait. I won´t leave Jodi.´

´I know. The problem is she won´t stay with you for long.´ Doc looked away as if he wanted me to find out what he was trying to say without need to pronounce it. Unfortunately, I was quite unable to think.

´What?´ I guess I didn´t look as an intelligent being.

´Her body can´t stand this for a long time. I can hydrate her, but I can´t feed her if she doesn´t respond. She will die, Kyle. I´m so sorry.´ He didn´t look at me.

I stared at him, perplexed. No. NO! This can´t happen! JODI! But inside I knew it was too late. Too late.

´Put Sunny in, Doc! Put her in. I don´t want to lose them both. Please!´ I yelled so everybody turned towards us. Ian looked at me with understanding and came closer to hug me with one arm.

´I´m not sure I´m able to do it. I have never tried to – I´ve only put them out.´

´So how do you want to put Wanda into this body?´ I rose one eyebrow.

´I don´t…´ Doc closed eyes for a while as if to fight off some bad memory or thought.

´Doc, please.´ I almost cried. ´Please.´

´I don´t know, Kyle. Don´t think I don´t want to help. It´s just… if I don´t succeed… if something goes wrong, they will both die.´

´I realize this. But what is the meaning of sending Sunny away if Jodi can´t be here?´ I frowned.

´You can´t decide for other people, you´re not-´

´I don´t care about everybody!´ I shouted. ´Can´t you hear me?! I waited for six years and now, you say me not to be selfish?!´

´Kyle, calm down.´ Doc was too late. I was resonating with fury.

´NO! I want you to put Sunny inside Jodi. I don´t regret anything I will have to do to force you to do that.´ I guess from how he looked at me I was at least as frightening as I was when I tried to kill Wanda.

´I won´t do anything what could hurt anybody, human or soul.´ Maybe not that frightening.

´You´d better do what I-´ I didn´t realize I was raising hand to punch him before Jared caught it.

´Kyle, calm down.´ Ian dared to touch my arm again. ´Doc, please, do it. Nobody wants Kyle to be angry. And now he´s furious.´

´I don´t know if I can do it.´

´I know you want to bring Wanda back. Don´t you think it would be good to practise it?´ Ian is much better in talking than I will ever be. But…

´What?! You won´t use Sunny as an experiment. Nothing against Wanda, but why should she be more important than Sunny?!´ I screamed. I heard somebody enetering the room, but I didn´t look who it was.

´Why do you have to talk so much? Just shut up, you stupid. I´m trying to help you if you don´t mind!´ Ian hissed and somewhere deep inside I knew he was right. But I didn´t care. I was furious.

´I´m not stupid.´ I said trying to kill him by sight.

´Okay, okay, I´ll do it. Don´t want any deads in here.´ Doc said, moving his hands in front of his face.

´Fine. You´d better!´

´Kyle?´ I almost believed it was Jodi, but it wasn´t. The eyes were silver.

´Yes, love?´ I smiled gently and it astonished me how happy I was to speak to Sunny.

´So you decided not to send me away,´ she smiled widely, ´or I´m having a wonderful dream.´

´You´re not dreaming, Sunny. I´m here with you.´ I took her hand in mine and caressed it. ´I bet you´re hungry.´

´Yeah I am.´ She smiled and tried to sit up, but she didn´t manage.

´Stay here. Guard Ian, he´s a bit weird now. I´m back soon.´ I smiled squeezed her hand and went to the kitchen. On the way I met Doc.

´So she woke up.´ he just said, he didn´t want an answer, so I didn´t reply and went farther. When I returned, Ian was sitting next to Sunny, Wanda´s cryotank on lap – of course – and Jamie was next to him.

I was feeding Sunny, because she was absolutely exhausted. I knew Doc was right. Jodi wouldn´t last for long. My heart ached, but one sight into Sunny´s eyes was enough to get me back to life.

Actually, everything went better when Sunny was in my life. She made miracles with me. I didn´t stop missing Jodi, but Sunny kept me busy just doing her happy – which wasn´t difficult, but I tried to be the best. I started to love her for her innocence, joy and undying ethusiasm. She was the reason I breathed.

Doc didn´t agree with us in Wanda´s fate. He kept saying she didn´t want it. We didn´t care what he was talking about, but we needed him. After a long time Jared couldn´t stand it any longer and did something which scared us all. He put some knife and used it to force Doc to do it. I must admit he didn´t try to resist.

When she woke up, everybody was happy, of course. Wanda was acting a bit different, but I guess it was because she was new in the body. I almost used to see Ian totally heartbroken so it was a big shock to see him shining with such happiness in the face. But when I saw him looking at Wanda, I understood what he meant by saying: ´You´re glimmering, Kyle. You shine as a sun.´

I don´t know if anybody noticed I cried when Sunny said she was searching for Jodi. In that moment I didn´t know if I wanted her to find her or not. On one hand, I wanted Jodi back. But Sunny loved me so much she was willing to let Jodi take her place just to make me happy. She was so good I couldn´t do anything but love her. She was as good as Wanda. I loved her so much nobody could understand. Maybe just Ian. Or maybe Sunny knew I was crying – I hope so. She has to know how much she means to me even though I´m not able to express it.

I had never thought we will love souls. Out of all the surviving humans. But it happened. I don´t regret anything. I´m so happy Wanda came into the caves, but it´s my little secret because I would never admit it. Maybe only Sunny suspects something. She knows everything about me.

In the sights Wanda gives Ian I see humans are not defeated. Even if just one remains, we are not lost. We have love and we can force souls to accept it from us. We´re different than other hosts of souls are. We can resist. We want to resist. We chose to believe, chose to fight, chose to love.

We are an equal partner to souls.