Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They were all created by Ms. Rowling.
Ok, i'm not sure where this story came from but you sould just read it anyway! enjoy!
"Hey look at these cool bracelets I made, Ron!" Harry said as he came bouncing into the common room and sitting down on his favorite chair. "skweeeeeeee!!!" he said as he sat down on Trevor the toad. "hey, Nev! your toad is over here!"
"Hey thanks Harry!" said Neville. He took the toad and then he did a double back flip out of the portrait hole.
"Well that was...interesting." said Ron. he turned to harry "what were you saying, Harry?"
Harry shook 3 bracelets in front of Ron's Face "I made these out of chicken wire!"
Ron took the bracelets "what's Chicken wire?"
"Never mind"
At that very moment a lobster came out from under the couch and started singing:
"The seaweed is always greener In somebody else's lake You dream about going up there But that is a big mistake Just look at the world around you Right here on the ocean floor Such wonderful things surround you What more is you lookin' for?"
"What the hell is that??" exclaimed Ron as he jumped on the back of the couch in fright "It looks like a Skrewt that lost some of it's body parts!!"
"Calm down, Ron." said Harry "It's just Sebastian, haven't you ever seen 'The Little Mermaid'"?
"HUH??? Harry, What the bloody hell are you talking about?? Are you on something?"
Harry whipped out his wand and pointed it at the lobster. He muttered a spell and it disappeared with a pop. "It's ok Ron, its gone"
Ron, trembling, came down from the back of the couch "okay, Harry, I don't know what that was, but lets forget it ever happened"
"Gladly" said harry as he slipped his bracelets onto his wrists "well, anyway!" as Harry said this he made a sweeping hand movement and hit Colin Creevy in the face.
"OUCH! Harry! Those bracelets are sharp!" he said, blood oozed from Colin's face then he dropped dead.
"Well, that's unfortunate" Harry stared into Colin's lifeless eyes in awe "Did I do that??"
"N-no. you couldn't have. I mean, It was just a little blood."said Ron...he sounded pretty scared.
Harry stared at his bracelets "did u guys murder Colin?" he asked all though he didn't expect a verbal answer. That is however what he got "yup" replied one of the bracelets. Harry was so frighted he shrieked like a woman. "Uh. I think I'll go to bed"
"Er, yeah me too." said Ron
The next morning Harry skipped down to the great hall singing a muggle song:
Since Bruce Springsteen, Madonna way before Nirvana there was U2 and Blondie and music still on MTV her two kids in high school they tell her that she's uncool 'cause she still preoccupied with 19, 19, 1985
He spotted Snape up ahead and immediately stopped singing. When Snape walked past Harry heard him mutter "murders a 15 year old boy and he still isn't expelled, honestly" Harry rolled his eyes and continued to skip. He skipped all the way to the great hall and when he reached the doors he tripped and fell on his face. The great hall erupted with laughter–well actually, the kids in the great hall erupted with laughter because you and I both know that a great hall can't actually erupt with laughter
Harry stood up, embarrassed and walked to his table and sat down. He poured himself some pumpkin juice and when he went to drink it he spilled it all down his front. "Oh, fuck, this is NOT my day"
"It's okay Harry" said Hermione as she patted him on the back, but when she patted him Harry began to choke and he spewed his eggs out all over Ron's forehead.
"Your right, mate, this isn't your day. Why don't try taking off the death bracelets" said Ron
"They aren't death bracelets!! Colin probably just ate some poison kippers or something. "I gotta go get ready for the Quidditch match" with that Harry got up and crashed into someone and fell on his butt. "Ahhh! Why is bad luck following me everywhere!!" with that a pancake fell from the bewitched roof and landed with a splat on Harry's head, causing him to run out the door.
The match was going horribly. Slytherin was ahead by 170 points, even if Harry caught the snitch Slytherin would win. And worst of all was that Draco and Dumbledore were in the stands blowing bubbles.
Harry was souring high on his broomstick when he heard Madam Hooch call a timeout. He dropped down and fell on his butt. "Bloody fucking merlin" he muttered to himself. He looked up to see Ron running toward him.
"Harry, take off the death bracelets, they're bad luck"
"Ron, they are not death bracelets and they are NOT bad luck!"
"Just take them off and we'll see what happens"
Harry thought about this, what did he have to lose? "fine" he grumbled and handed Ron the bracelets.
After the game started up again everything happened very fast. Gryffindor started scoring points left and right. Pretty soon the score was all tied up and that's when Harry spotted the snitch. He dove in the direction of the shimmery gold and soon felt the snitch in his hands, its wings struggling to get free.
He landed and went up to Ron. He stood there with his arms crossed and eyebrows raised.
"It was just a coincidence" said Harry. "Can I have my bracelets back?"
Ron sighed and handed Harry his bracelets. "Hey, Harry, are you gay?"
Harry looked up surprised "well, yes if you must know."
Ron stared at Harry in amazement for a couple seconds then looked away "okay, cool!"
"Boom boom aint it great to be CRAZY! Boom boom aint it great to be nuts like us!" sang Harry as they walked back to the Griffindor tower.
"Harry, sometimes you scare me." said Ron
"Mr. Harry Potter, sir!" called a little voice from behind them.
Harry spun so fast that he knocked the person in the head with his hand. He looked down at the short figure "oh, sorry Dobby" when Harry looked closely he saw that there was a small scratch on Dobby's head from his bracelets. Then Dobby Dropped dead. "Oops" said Harry
"I told you they're death bracelets!!" squealed Ron.
"Don't be a goof Ron...he's probably just knocked out"
"Nope, he's dead alright" said a mysterious voice.
"Who said that?" said Harry as he looked around at the deserted hallway.
"Down here" said the voice.
It was the bracelets.
"Hey look Ron my bracelets are talking again!!"
"Hey, cool! I love when inanimate objects talk!"
Within the next 5 hours Harry had accidentally killed: Dean Thomas, Blaise, both the Patil twins, and Professor Flitwick. Plus, Harry tripped twice, spilled ink on his potions homework, gotten food on three of his robes, and, somehow, ended up at the top of one of the towers with only his Golden Snitch boxers.
After he got out of that...interesting pickle he went up to Ron who was sitting in the Great Hall pigging out on kippers and said "Okay maybe your right about the bracelets."
"Finally!! Lets give them to someone we hate! Like Malfoy!" said Ron, rather excitedly.
"Okay!" said Harry... sounding a bit like Lisa Kudrow when he said it. He cleared his throat "Oi! Malfoy!!"
"Hi ya fellas!!" said Draco (who might I add is a sexy beast) as he walked over to their table.
"You want these bracelets?"asked Ron while Harry what covering his laugh with a cough
"Great thanks!" said Draco. He took the bracelets and walked away. Everyone lived happily ever after (except maybe Draco).
THE END!
