Epic Rap Battle!
Keldeo vs Rainbow Dash
(Rap Beat: Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD Instrumental by Twosidesoneperson)
EPIC RAP BATTLE!
Keldeo!
vs.
Rainbow Dash!
BEGIN!
Keldeo:
Hey, Dashie!
The Colt Pokemon has just arrived!
That means your huge ego's gonna take a nose-dive!
Sure! I'm a pony! Of course I know that!
But compared to Pokemon, MLP falls flat!
I'm a Water and Fighting type Legendary -Mon!
You don't have any powers, so that means the pain's on!
I buck steel doors open, you ponies just buck trees!
I'll Double Kick your face and knock out all your teeth!
I'm a Kirin! A Kelpie! A mythical water horse!
I'm like King Sombre! Only good, of course. . .
I'll Double Team your flank, use my Focus Blasts at it!
Your little butt tattoo sure makes a good target!
And you call yourself loyal! Ha! What a lie!
You're not a team player! You're arrogant and sly!
You'd quickly dump your friends to join the Wonderbolts!
And the rainbow hair fits how you act like a colt!
Rainbow Dash:
Listen here, you foal! I happen to be a tomboy!
You're like Zorua, a way to sell children Pokemon toys!
You're a coward! A punk! You ran away from a fight!
How does a wimp like you ever sleep at night!
You lost your parents in a fire in the Moor of Icirrus,
But you have NO ANGST!? Come on! Get serious!
You couldn't back up your talk, you got in over your head,
Cause of you, Kyurem almost killed all your friends dead!
You're criticizing my loyalty? Huh, you should talk!
You threw the Swords of Justice under the bus! Bawk-bawk!
Admit it! You're a bigger chicken than Scootaloo!
I freakin ate Starscream! Where the hay does that leave you?
And what do you mean, no powers? I can do the Sonic Rainboom!
I'll break the speed of sound on your face! And seal your doom!
Give it up, kid, you can only loose,
I mean, oh Celestia! You pee through your hooves!
Keldeo:
You gotta be kidding me. . .you did not just say that. . .
Did this big headed looser just insult my Aqua Jet?
Alright, Dashie, that's it, you're going down,
Just like a real Kelpie, I'm gonna make you drown!
You cast Gilda aside, called Twilight Sparkle an egghead,
When Fluttershy talks, you never listen to a word that's said,
Well, unlike you, I've got real friends,
Swords of Justice, bring this battle to an end!
(The Swords of Justice arrive on the scene on Keldeo's side)
Cobalion:
Cobalion!
Terrakion:
Terrakion!
Virizion:
Virizion!
Keldeo:
And me!
All Four:
Let's silence this arrogant pegasus for eternity!
Terrakion:
She has no focus. . .
Virizon:
I see fear in her eyes. . .
Cobalion:
She hasn't learned from her failures. . .
Keldeo:
Let's make her cry!
Cobalion:
The power of friendship's nothing new, we know it well. . .
Keldeo:
It's right in our motto, ain't that swell!
Terrakion:
Two is greater than one. . .
Virizion:
Three is greater than two. . .
Keldeo:
Four is greater than three!
All Four:
You are doomed!
Rainbow Dash:
Four on one? What a bunch of punks!
I'll buck you all in the stomach so hard you'll throw up chunks
Of Oran Berries, Poke Block, whatever you guys eat,
I'm the Best Young Flier! I can't be beat!
You're just cheap knock-offs of the Three Musketeers!
Virizion and Keldeo and weak to Flying types, show your fears,
Against this awesome flier, you'll easily meet your ends,
So I'll go easy on ya, and hand you over to my friends!
(The rest of the Mane Six teleports in and joins Rainbow Dash's side)
Fluttershy:
Aw, poor Keldeo, I hear he broke his horn. . .
Applejack:
Well, when we're through with him, he'll wish he was never born!
Rarity:
Look at that mane! It's a crime against fashion!
Twilight Sparkle:
He can't even do magic! Sword fighting's his passion!
Pinkie Pie:
And he talks without moving his mouth! That's creepy!
Rainbow Dash:
And if Pinkie Pie said it, then you know you're freaky!
Twilight Sparkle:
He's a unicorn who can't cast spells! Disgraceful!
And he cries so much, I'm surprised his tear ducts are still operational!
Applejack:
Applebucking ain't just strength! It's practically art!
if you tried to do it, you'd break the tree apart!
Fluttershy:
You know what? It was mean to pick a fight with Kyurem!
He wasn't bothering you! How dare you disturb him!
Rarity:
And you lost to Kyurem, right? But I'm not stopping there!
Your rough housing nearly destroyed his entire lair!
You're selfish!
Applejack:
You're a liar!
Pinkie Pie:
You're always so serious!
Fluttershy:
You're mean!
Twilight Sparkle:
The Elements of Harmony place you under arrest!
(The Mane Six use the Elements of Harmony to fire the Rainbow of Light at Keldeo. But as the rainbow colored smoke clears, Keldeo is still standing, and has changed into his Resolute Form, and his horn has now extended and changed into his glowing Secret Sword)
Keldeo:
Game's over, My Little Ponies! This ends now!
I'm not loosing this battle! No way! No how!
The bonds with my friends are stronger than yours!
Like Legend of Zelda, we'll show you the power of Four Swords!
You girls are crazy! How many of you have lost your minds so far?
I have my own movie! One where I'm the star!
Behold my true power, which earned Kyurem's respect!
My Secret Sword can cut through anything! Time to dissect!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EQUESTRIA!
(whoops... Uh, I mean...)
…OF POKEMON!