Hey guys. Here's me, after a bajillion years, rebooting an uber-dead fic that I know not many people read and was never very good anyway. …reconsidering, that's not a very good line to start off a story with. -.-

Anyway, it's a story about Luigi...becoming a secret agent. It was inspired by "Get Smart" and also by "The L Stands for Loser", an awesomazing story by Wimpzilla. Google it. It's the first result. Also, a big shout out to Wimpzilla for his help and inspiration.

TIME: 0824 Hours

Date: March 15th

Location: Mario Bros. Residence

Agent Status: N.A.

It was finally time. The date they'd had circled on their calendars for months. The event Luigi had posted big, bold-lettered reminders about all around the house, mostly concentrated inside the fridge. The occasion Luigi had taken extreme measure to forcibly drive the idea that it was coming into Mario's brain, even going so far as to mark every single one of his pairs of underwear with an un-ignorable memo of it.

Mario yawned. Luigi seemed to have contracted a tic at some point during his visit to Mario's room. Most probably because the expression on Mario's face most likely indicated that his answer to Luigi's previous question was "What event?"

"IN THE SHOWER, NOW!"

Luigi's problems didn't end there. He knew Mario wasn't an individual that could be trusted with matters that he deemed trivial. After checking in on breakfast, he approached Mario's bedroom yet again. Luigi frowned.

"Mario, you know what I said about playing videogames this early in the morning!"

Silence.

"No, I didn't say "To do it"! Come on Mario, can't you just show at least a teeny, tiny bit of something called "responsibility"? Especially on the day of the awards?"

More silence.

"No Mario, pausing it isn't the same as turning it off! Just please, go get ready!" Luigi stomped off towards his room, away from Mario's room's door. Typical. He slammed the door shut behind him, and opened his closet to admire the vast array of attires contained within. "Let's see, what will I put on…green overalls, green overalls, green overalls, green overalls, red ove- darn that Mario, I told him to stay away from my closet! Now…."

He paused, listening as a door opened down the hall, footsteps sounded, and another door opened and closed.

"Good, that's Mario going into the bathroom," Luigi said, resuming his monologue. "Now, where…ah, here they are, my formal clothes!" he took out a pair of overalls exactly the same as all the others, but with a bow on the collar. He held up the overalls to his chest, striking different poses for the mirror. "Operation Babe Magnet has begun!"

He then proceeded to applying his best 99 Cent Store cologne, grooming his moustache, and spending 20 minutes placing his cap at different angles to capture the best lighting. After deciding that putting his cap on rapper style wouldn't go well in a formal event, he realized he hadn't heard the bathroom door open again. He placed his cap on his head randomly, mumbling under his breath about Mario making him waste precious minutes, and exited his room. He was about to knock on the bathroom door, when he decided to press his ear to it instead.

"Wait a minute, that's…."

He burst the door open, to find a toweled Mario with a plastic guitar and the multicolored notes of a GH song whizzing down on a plasma screen where the mirror used to be.

Both of them stood rooted to the spot, mouths slightly open. Finally Mario reacted and clicked a button hidden beneath the sink, which made the screen flip over into a normal mirror, and hid the tiny plastic guitar behind his back as if hiding it would make Luigi forget what he saw.

"W-where you just playing Guitar Hero 3 inside the bathroom?" asked Luigi. Mario shook his head innocently.

Luigi moaned angrily, and exclaimed, "Mario, if you're gonna go on and accept a prize for being the heroiest hero in all the land and whatnot, you could at least show up, and on time! Peach is expecting you to be there!"

Mario opened his mouth, but Luigi quickly cut him off. "I don't care if you wanted to five star 'Through the Fire and the Flames' on Expert!" He sighed, glancing at Mario's wet hair and the towel around his waist.

"Well, at least you put down the game long enough to take a bath." Mario avoided Luigi's gaze, staring at the floor and hiding his peripheral behind his back. Luigi glared at Mario, then tugged the plastic guitar away from him. There was a small label on its side, and Luigi read out loud, "Special Edition Waterproof Guitar..."

He closed his eyes, putting his thumb and forefinger on his forehead in an exasperated fashion, but quickly regained his composture. "Fine, I guess you deserve some free time, seeing as you just thwarted Bowser's plans and maintained the peace and order of the universe and etc. just yesterday. Just make sure you hurry up, I'll try to finish up fast down in the kitchen. By the way, when did you put that plasma screen behind the mirror?"

Mario gave Luigi a look that clearly said, "Around the same time I installed the mini bar in our broom closet."

"You installed a mini bar in our broom closet?" exclaimed Luigi, gaping at Mario. Mario just gave Luigi an "Oh, yeah" look, then proceeded to drying his hair. Luigi thought for a moment, then said, "Uh, yeah, I kinda...spilled something...so I'll get the mop now, from the closet you know, yeah..." Then he sped out of the room.

Mario went down to breakfast a couple minutes later; Luigi was making omelets, looking sulky. "You lied," he muttered. "There was no mini bar."

Mario shrugged, then sat down to help himself to Luigi's omelet. "Heey, that's my ome- ah forget it," Luigi said. "We're running late anyway." He threw the entire omelet he was making into his mouth, squirted ketchup into it as well and downed it all with orange juice. He passed the bottle to Mario, who did the same. Luigi threw the dirty dishes into the dishwasher, then dashed to the entrance hall. "Hurry up Mario!"

Mario ran into the entrance hall, gave Luigi the "I'm ready" thumbs up, then walked out the door.

"Uhh, Mario," Luigi said, peering out the door. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

Luigi heard a gasp, an "eek!" and a little girl say, "Mommy, that fat man has no pants!"

Mario came dashing into the house without a glance at Luigi. Luigi was too busy laughing to notice. He casually glanced at his watch, and his laughter died at once.

Dashing to the car, he yelled out, "MARIO, THE CEREMONY STARTS IN 4 FREAKIN' MINUTES!" He put the key into the door, turned it, opened the door, and scrambled over to the driver's seat. "Mario, I don't care if you have to dive in through the window, but I- OOOF!"

Mario had dived in through the window, aimed horribly for the passenger's seat and landed on Luigi's stomach instead. Luigi pressed his foot down as a reflex, and the car sped off, Luigi's scream being absorbed by the sounds of the busy streets ahead.

Some 15 miles away, a toad guard lay strewn across the floor, unconscious. He was supposed to be guarding the warehouse located directly behind Princess Peach's castle. But in his state, he was obviously unable. Who had done this to him?

There was only one clue.

In big black spray-painted letters, was one word directly above the guard's unconscious head: "KAOS."