Dlbn: Hey there, everyone. I come to bring you another Loveless fanfic!

Nbld: Unfortunately, this one comes about from unfortunate circumstances.

Dlbn: Things just aren't the same anymore in my life, and I don't know how to make them okay again, you know?

Nbld: We will not stop writing, however. This fic here is a little ironic, you see.

Dlbn: Ritsuka, Soubi, and Seimei's situation is very similar to a situation in my life as well. So we just had to write this.

Nbld: Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do NOW own Loveless or any characters! They belong to Yun Kouga! I make NO money off of writing this fic!

Dedication: You may never read this, but you know who you are, and this is for you. I just don't understand, and nothing you can say will change that. But for now, it is what it is...

000

It had to have been a dream, didn't it? Or maybe a nightmare. Soubi had walked away, that much was true. But maybe if he closed his eyes and pretended hard enough, he could imagine that Soubi was still right there at his side like he had promised he always would be. But when he opened his eyes, reality hit him in the face. He may have Soubi in his hopes and dreams and delusions, but in the real world, he was alone. Sure, he had friends, but so what? That didn't mean much without Soubi. With Soubi, he was happy, he was loved…

But did Soubi really love him like he had claimed? If he had loved him, he wouldn't have chosen Seimei over Ritsuka. Why chose someone that hurt you and betrayed you over someone who loved you and was always there for you? It just didn't make sense. Why would he go back to someone that would abuse him and make him dependant on them? Why would he get rid of Ritsuka, who made him smile and make him happy, for someone who made him frown, and scream, and miserable?

So maybe Soubi's love had just been a lie. That was the only way that things made sense. But try as he might to come up with things that prove that Soubi didn't love him, he just couldn't. Sure, there were a few reasons as evidence-such as his eventual leaving-but there weren't enough to come to a definite conclusion. And try as he might, Ritsuka couldn't hate Soubi. Maybe the blonde was confused. Maybe he was so strongly influenced by Seimei that he didn't have a choice but revert back to his old ways. Maybe even Soubi didn't know what he wanted, and thus he just reverted to something he knew had been solid.

And maybe one day he would come back. Maybe one day Soubi would realize how good the two of them were together; how good Soubi had had it. And then he'd seek out Ritsuka again and try to rekindle their old feelings.

They'd meet and they'd talk, and decide to give themselves just one more shot at a future. A future where they were together, and where no one else got in the way. Where they'd spend their whole lives together as a couple and be everything they knew they could be. They'd have what Soubi had promised. They'd have forever together like he had promised. And maybe one day Ritsuka would see Soubi on one knee, or standing at an altar surrounded by all their friends and sakura petals.

But for now, Ritsuka would force himself to think of the ways Soubi didn't love him. He'd think of the signs and the hints that Soubi had never had feelings for him, and why he never would again. He'd try to tell himself that he hated the blonde and wanted nothing more to do with him. He'd make himself thing it had all been a lie, he'd make himself think he was okay with it being over, he'd make himself believe that what they had had was a mistake to top all other mistakes.

Until the future came and brought what Ritsuka knew it would, he would make himself believe in things that weren't true. Because sometimes a fantasy, no matter how malicious, was better then the pains of a waking reality.