A Certain Cursed Martial Artist: Remaster
A Ranma 1/2 and To Aru Majutsu No Index crossover fanfiction
Written by some madao
Ranma 1/2 is the creation and property of Rumiko Takahashi.
To Aru Majutsu No Index is the creation and property of Kazuma Kamachi.
Chapter One
Ranma Saotome was riding atop a robot. It may sound impressive, but she was feeling a bit disappointed. From the stories she'd heard of Academy City, she'd been expecting flying cars, warp points, and robots that could shoot laser beams from their eyes. The robot she'd just now appropriated for her personal transportation hardly fired any sort of laser beam. It just zoomed on forward in whatever direction she leaned. It, the city, was all a bit of a letdown. Of course, that wasn't to say she'd previously encountered robots, but perhaps she still retained too much optimism. She'd need to further train herself in realism.
Anyway, the robot she was just now borrowing, probably no one would notice it missing. It was just uselessly picking up trash, anyhow, right?
She had a piece of paper in her hand, which had an address. However, she hadn't a map. She didn't know where she was, except in the general cosmic sense of feeling right at home wherever she might be. She sighed, and then languidly said, "Welcome to Academy City." She replied to herself. "Glad to be here."
Her name was Ranma Saotome. She was, succinctly, the best. At what? Everything, possibly.
She lowered the paper to where the robot had a pair of eyes-looking-thingies. "Know where this is?"
The machine seemed to understand. It then jolted forward as though it was on a quest.
"Whoa! Whoa! Slow down!" She held on for dear life. The surroundings were fast becoming a blur. She was witness to the robot leaving a car behind. She felt common sense had been forgotten somewhere back there, too, but she quickly reconsidered that, as nothing had been common in her life for quite some time. Whatever had been left behind was probably something she didn't need.
The robot hit something. It stumbled, but Ranma was thrown into the air. 'Crap!' was her thought.
She landed on something, breaking her fall.
It took a moment to process what had happened. It wasn't something she'd landed on, but somebody.
"Uh, sorry 'bout that," she said to the guy she was sitting on. It was a bit of a compromising position, really. She was sitting on his chest, and his mouth was near her... She quickly slapped the guy's face with both hands, and then sat up, her face turning red. "Ah, ha, ha! Really sorry!"
The guy was blushing (and now bruising), too, but he rallied his senses. "Ah, no, it's okay." He sat up, and then looked at a grocery bag he'd dropped. There was egg yolk dripping from it. "Figures. Such misfortune." He ran his hand through his spiky hair.
Ranma offered her hand to him to get up off the ground. However, when he touched his right hand to hers, a powerful shock ran up through her hand to her shoulder. It burned, fiercely! She couldn't breath! She ripped her hand from his, and fell back onto her bottom. She quickly massaged her arm, which slowly dispersed the pain. She looked at her hand. Nothing. No burn, and no injury. She remembered how it hurt like heck, though!
And there was an indescribable fear from within.
"What happened? Something wrong?" the guy asked, concerned.
"Felt like my arm was gonna explode," said Ranma.
"Huh?" the guy looked at Ranma's hand, and then his own. "It's never done that before..."
"Something special about your hand, then?"
The guy took a moment to respond, "There's nothing special about it. Except when it meets something... or someone special."
Ranma... also took a moment to think. She didn't know this guy from Jack, and it wasn't any of her business what his hand could do, just like it wasn't any of his business what was special about her. "That a pick-up line?" she asked.
The guy blushed. "No, it's just..."
"Okay, okay, I understand," said Ranma. "I'm so cute that you couldn't help yourself. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not that easy. In fact, I'm probably impossible." She took from her pocket the sheet of paper with the address she needed to visit. "Anyway, I'm looking for this address. Mind giving me directions?"
The guy looked at the paper, reading it. It took a moment, but then he said, "That's my building."
"Eh?"
It had to be coincidence. A big, stupid coincidence. Or else this guy, this supposed Touma Kamijou, was lying to her.
It was his building? And it was his neighbour living at that exact address? That she'd run into him, out of millions, was pretty contrived. Far-fetched, even.
But then again, stranger things had happened even, or rather especially, in her own life.
Besides, even if he was lying, and was leading her into some strange, possibly dangerous situation, it wasn't anything to worry about. She could defend herself, if necessary.
Except...
Kamijou wouldn't shut up. "Such misfortune," he'd mutter. It was as though he was feeling burdened by her company. "Ah, yeah. That address belongs to my neighbour. But I'd warn against seeking his advice. He's a bit... eccentric."
"Hmm, how so?" asked Ranma.
"Well..." Kamijou simply shook his head. "He's my classmate, and it's fun to hang out with him, but... when it comes to business, he's the sort of guy you regret doing business with. If you know what I mean."
"Ah." Ranma comprehended what Kamijou meant, and easily at that. She did know the sort. "Well, I don't have a choice, really. What I'm after, I've gotta track down every lead."
"Okay, if you say so." Kamijou took out his phone, and dialed a number. He waited a moment, and someone answered. "Hey, Tsuchimikado. I ran into someone who's looking for you. A girl. Name's Saotome. I don't know what she wants. You at home? Meet you where? No, I can't pay for that. I can't even afford to pay for myself. I don't want to owe you. I'm not going. I'll bring her there, and go home. I'm not staying. I said I'm not staying."
It was a family restaurant. Ranma and Touma sat at booth where a blonde-haired, sunglasses guy was sitting. Total yankee. His name was Motoharu Tsuchimikado. "So, Saotome-nyan. What brings you to me?" he asked.
Ranma ignored Tsuchimikado's overly familiar attitude toward her, and handed him a letter. "It's a referral from a doctor in Nerima. About my curse."
Tsuchimikado read the letter, and then as though thinking how to state the difficult, leaned back, sighing. "Jusenkyou, eh? You're in a difficult positionyaa. In fact, an almost impossible situation if you're serious about returning to your true form. Whatever that is." He spoke, carefully, "Jusenkyou is a land of secrets. There's not a whole lot to say about there, and whatever there is, is closely guarded."
"I know that much," said Ranma, darkly.
"That you're even here... that's rather interesting, to say the least." Tsuchimikado sat back in his seat. He said, changing the subject, "Hope you both don't mind, but I already ordered us some food."
"Hold up," said Kamijou. "What are you two even talking about? I don't get anything that you're saying. Curse? True form?"
"Oh, Kamiyan. You don't actually have to know anything. That's confidential information between Saotome-nyan and me," said Tsuchimikado. "You're here to try something for me as an independent contractor, and if that doesn't work, then we're out of solutions." He grinned. "And dinner's on you, Kamiyan."
"Wait, Tsuchimikado, I can't afford that!" Kamijou was desperate.
"I'll pay," said Ranma.
"Oh?" said both the boys.
"You said Kamijou might be able to try something? I'll pay for dinner, and maybe even more, if whatever he tries works."
The setting was important. It was a place slightly out of sight, relatively secure, and mostly private.
There were three there. A girl and two boys. They stood under a steel bridge. There was the river nearby.
"All I'm asking, Kamiyan, is for you to touch her. See if your hand breaks the curse she's under," said Tsuchimikado.
"I've touched his hand before," said Ranma. "I'm a bit worried about touching it, again."
"Oh? What happened?" asked Tsuchimikado.
"It felt like my arm wanted to explode," said Ranma.
"Well, that wasn't because of Kamiyan's hand, because his hand doesn't actually do anything. It only cancels special powers." Tsuchimikado then seemingly went in deep thought.
"Curse?" Kamijou shook his head. "You two been reading too many light novels or something?"
"Hey, curses exist," said Ranma. "I've been seeing out-of-this-world stuff all around this city, and you don't want to believe crazy stuff happens outside, too? It's a big world, Kamijou. There's all sorts of insane things out there." She noted Touma didn't seem convinced.
"I'm a bit hesitant to ask this of you, Saotome-nyan, but could you let Kamiyan touch you with his hand, againyaa?" asked Tsuchimikado, coming out of his thoughts. "If you experience the same phenomenon, we'll stop immediately, but there's something I want to observe."
Ranma hesitated, but took a deep breath, and decided. 'Fear is not an emotion, it is a disease.' She nodded, and stepped toward Kamijou.
Kamijou saw her resolve. He understood her intent. He couldn't hesitate, worrying whether she'd experience that same pain from before. He stepped toward her, intending on touching her shoulder. He tripped, and as he was falling forward, he reached out for something to grab onto to stop his fall. He instead pulled down Ranma's pants.
Ranma acted quickly. She instantly one-hit-killed Tsuchimikado with something that was in her pocket. And then stomped on Kamijou's head, as he'd fallen at her feet.
"Such misfortune," muttered Kamijou, weakly, from underneath her.
"Let's try that, againyaa," said Tsuchimikado, alive. There was a bump on his forehead, caused by what was now a broken phone.
Ranma was blushing, furiously. "Please do, except without the wacky perverted shonen manga hijinks. And forget what you saw," she said, as she grit her teeth from anger.
Kamijou was bleeding from his nose. Ranma glared at him, furiously. "I didn't see anything!" Kamijou said.
"Not even those sporty black panties, Kamiyan?" asked Tsuchimikado. "Those well-toned and tanned thighs...?" He was downed again, with another well-placed head shot.
"I didn't... didn't see... a thing," said Kamijou, fearfully.
"I certainly hope so," said Ranma "For your sake, of course."
Once upon a time, would she have been as carefree and lighthearted as these two boys...? Ranma shook her head. Perhaps those days were ahead of her, again, should this work. But it'd been over a year, now. There'd been fights, cures, and fireworks, aplenty, as though she'd been living in ancient Edo rather than modern day Tokyo. No cure had worked, however. She was as stuck now as then. Nothing changing, except for her having run away to here, in search of some ex-onmyouji who might possibly have a clue or cure that just might do the trick, and solve all her problems, and even do something about her acne. Here, though, as it was there, and back then, it, her possible cure, seemed probably a bit half-baked. Just two foolish perverted boys, fooling around.
But Jusenkyou. It held her past hostage. She wasn't whom she was supposed to be, anymore. She was trapped in a body not hers. She could only look out from this form, as a prison-like existence. Her own body had betrayed her, because of Jusenkyou.
She'd had enough. Honestly, she'd had enough. But that wasn't how life worked, at all. Life just kept piling on, one thing after another, whether or not you asked. The good and the bad, together and apart. All you could do was struggle.
Kamijou seemed to be arguing with the recovered Tsuchimikado over something stupid. "Sporty panties can't just be worn outside! Clothes have to be worn over top of them!"
Two boys were kneeling before her, dogeza-style bowing. Beaten, bruised, and bloodied, but in a comedic-style, as though within a paragraph or two, they'd be back to normal, healed.
Ranma sighed. "Normally, I'm hardly a violent guerrilla, but for whatever reason, I've had happen to me things that just don't happen. It all started when I met you, I suppose. I never thought I'd react so girly to it, either, beating you both up. But it happened."
Kamijou and Tsuchimikado wondered in what universe would a girl beating up two boys would be considered girly.
"But I'll forget what's happened here, if you two do some forgetting of your own in regards to panties and thighs and those sorts of things," said Ranma. Under her breath, she added, "But you'll probably want to do that anyway, if what you do works, and cures me of my curse."
Kamijou and Tsuchimikado nodded, but felt it to be insincere. Ranma's toned thighs really were rather sexy. And how her black sporty panties simply fit her so well, accentuating her form... It'd have to be quite a shock to make them forget that.
Ranma watched the two boys. They still hadn't released their dogeza-style bows, touching their heads to the pavement. "Get up, already. I'll trust you two. For now."
Ranma and Kamijou moved aside from Tsuchimikado. They faced each other, as though in a duel.
Ranma relaxed, and beckoned for Kamijou to start. He stepped forward, and placed his right hand onto her right shoulder.
There were some moments in life when time seemed to grow longer. When a second felt like a minute. When a single minute felt like five.
Ranma could feel every fiber of her being screaming out in alarm, and quickly terror. Everything about her that made her be Ranma Saotome exploded into agony. It was like slamming into ice-cold water at a 100 kilometres an hour, and somehow surviving, and then sinking to such a depth you felt as though you couldn't ever swim back to the surface.
She could feel the curse, alive. And it was clawing into her, like a wild animal. It would not go quietly. It would take her with it. It had hold of her heart, and that was it. It ensnared it, and held onto it. It would snap it apart with its last bit of energy were it to go.
Ranma opened her mouth, and she felt something warm leak out of it. She couldn't even taste what it was, but she assumed it was blood. And it was quite a bit of it. Almost like she was throwing it up.
Kamijou withdrew his hand, alarmed.
And Ranma collapsed.
Jusenkyou. It was all before her. Thousands of pools far as her eyes could see.
Jusenkyou. How could this be? She'd left it all behind, long ago. She couldn't have returned so quickly. This had to be a drea...
"Miss, you must leave from here. There is no use staying," said the guide to Jusenkyo. He appeared at her side.
"I know. You already told me so many times I could throw up your words from my ears," said Ranma, not facing the guide. "And don't call me Miss. I hate it."
"You must go. Is not safe."
"I'm just waiting on my pops."
"He says you must go. He will follow."
"I want to see him," said Ranma.
"Miss..."
"Don't... call me that!" screamed Ranma, angrily.
There was movement from the pools. A panda was jumping from pole to pole to Ranma and the guide's position. It landed in front of them.
"You're here!" said Ranma, relieved. "Tell this idi..."
The panda reached a paw out to Ranma, and patted her shoulder. The panda looked into Ranma's eyes, as though trying to impart something it could not speak.
"I don't understand. I wish you could speak," said Ranma.
The panda sighed. And then it brought its other paw up in a roundhouse punch, knocking Ranma out.
Ranma woke with a jerk. She felt disorientated, and lost. She sat up, trying to figure out where she was. It all came quickly flooding back. It'd been some time since she'd passed out under the bridge. She had no idea where she was.
Except...
Academy City.
No cure.
No past.
No future.
She took a pillow, and then screamed into it.
She'd been brought to a hospital. A discrete one, apparently.
She'd been treated, and whatever questions were asked were simple ones. Did she feel pain? No. Did she feel sick? No. Tests were run, and those were inconclusive. She seemed fine, if exhausted and anemic.
It was visiting hours. She only knew two people in Academy City, and both were visiting.
Kamijou and Tsuchimikado bowed their heads to Ranma. "We're sorry," they both said, together.
"What are you apologizing for?" asked Ranma. "All that happened was I nearly died while attempting to break my curse. Happens all the time." She shook her head. "Probably I should be apologizing for involving you both. Neither of you needed to see that."
"Were there any... complications?" asked Tsuchimikado.
"Not as far as anyone can tell," replied Ranma. "And that includes me. I know my own body pretty well."
"Intimately well?" asked Tsuchimikado, grinning and leering at Ranma.
Ranma glared at Tsuchimikado. "Shut up," she said, wearily. She didn't have the energy for this. "Anyway, I'll be fine. I recover faster than normal. Quite a bit faster, actually." What would be months of recovery from massive blood loss, Ranma would overcome in a week. One month, tops. She wouldn't feel right for a while, anyway.
That meant, she was in danger if anyone she knew from her past showed up. "I just need to lie low for a while. Keep my head down, and then, once all my blood levels are right again, I can blast off out of here."
Tsuchimikado tilted his head, as though considering Ranma's words. He thought for a moment, and then shrugged. Tsuchimikado threw something onto Ranma's bed. A new phone. "New-ish-est model of the same phone you broke over my head. Everything should be the same, except slightly better. Or exactly the same, more likely, but with updated emojis." He nodded at Kamijou, who seemed miserable. "I'll be off, now. Kamiyan, you take care of her, okay? Dress up as a nurse for her, and attend to her every need and whim, okay?" And then he was gone from the room.
Ranma looked at Kamijou. Really looked at him. She sighed. "It wasn't your fault, pal," she said.
Kamiyan looked up at Ranma. He'd been staring at the floor. "My hand's never done that before. It's caused a lot of problems for people, but it's never done that, ever."
"First time for everything. It was my choice. I had an inkling that could happen, but I decided to take the risk. Not the first time I've risked my life trying to break this curse. And it probably won't be the last, either. Besides, it wasn't your hand that nearly killed me. It was my curse. It was... trying to kill me if it was broken."
Kamijou stared at Ranma, almost disbelievingly, but not quite so.
"My curse is from a dangerous part of the world. It's a remnant of a different and forgotten age. I did confirm something, though, through all this." Ranma grimaced. "This curse is alive. Like a parasite. It's in too deep, and has everything about me wrapped up in coiling tendrils."
Touma blushed, staring at Ranma, distantly as though trying to ignore statements that sounded as though they belonged in a hentai.
"Oh my god," Ranma said, face-palming.
Ranma received an email on her phone. It read, "Hey, Saotome-nyan. Keep this confidential, why don'cha? I've got a proposition for ya, if yer interested. About helping you keep your head downyaa. Now, we can't do anything like stopping people from finding ya, but we can give you a leg up here in Academy City."
Author's notes:
Again, another rewrite. I cannot help it, really. I am a perfectionist, and for me, anything I build or create is always a work in progress.
I began this story under dire circumstances. A severe injury had robbed me of my strength and health, leaving me crippled on my worst days, and barely functional on my best. I had undergone a change I had no control over. I was unable to cope. For years I suffered, lying in bed, wondering what I was still able to do. I imagine those feelings to have been the driving force behind this story.
However, I began to heal. It's been a long, long process. I've recovered enough I can lead a normal life. Unfortunately, it means those old feelings that drove this story have dissipated. I can't return to them, which means I needed to find some differing motivation to write this story. A different motivation means it'll be a different story. And if the story's changed because I've changed, then I might as well go all out, and clean up the story of a bunch of cringeworthy and superfluous nonsense. All that may still exist in-story however, but I'm unable to find anyway of improving the story as of right now.
So, there are major and minor differences. Mainly, I've toned down much of the sexual tension between Ranma and Touma. It just seemed forced. I've worked in some additional lines, scenes, and a whole lot more blood.