A/N: Hey there (:

I don't really know where this idea came from, but I wanted to write it down. AU. No Delena. Rated M for... love?

PS. Since at last I decided to add a chapter or two, I rewrote this one, changed a few things. So, yes, I will continue the story, I'm just not sure when.

For now, thank you to all the wonderful readers and their support. Your words mean so much to me. A few such warm and encouraging comments is better than a hundred.

Until soon XOXO

He didn't remember much from his human life. His memories were just brief flashes; faded images of endless, green fields, through which he used to run with Stefan as a little boy, until the sun began to set and gild the sky. His mother's eyes, blue and deep as an ocean, looking down at him warmly while she told him bedtime stories. The smell of strawberries and fresh, baked pie... Christmas lights twinkling in the night, like stars of different hues, coming from different galaxies.

And Katherine, of course. His key to the door of immortality. He had opened them unwillingly back then, lacking in reason, driven by nothing but a sudden lust for the very thing that made him what he was. Blood.

There was no road ahead of him, just a bridge and an empty abyss underneath, a black hole that he kept on falling into.

Coming back to the place where it all began had indeed killed him, in many ways; yet he never considered it a mistake. On the contrary, actually. Because it gave him something worth fighting for, helped him learn to build his own road upon the solid bricks of his humanity and everyone tied down to it. Stefan, Elena, Alaric.

Bonnie...

He remembered how she held his hand as they drifted into oblivion, together, staring ahead whilst the world as they knew it started falling apart around them. She was always strong and courageous, like a dragon fighter, warm as sunlight, and the combination made her grow even taller in his eyes. He had clearly underestimated her when they first met and many times after that, blinded by a desperate anger, a need to steal Katherine back into his arms, where he thought she belonged.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

So many years wasted; so much damage that couldn't be undone.

Maybe that was one of the reasons why greeting death permanently that night felt so oddly peaceful. He had lived in chaos all his life, carrying misery deep inside, infecting others with it through the rough bites he left in his wake. Those metaphorical and those literal.

His mind seemed to be more than tired after the hurricanes it went through, his heart riddled and yearning for a break.

It all made death easy. Simple. And with Bonnie's fingers knotted through his, it almost felt good, a kind of relief that he could not ever find before, no matter how frantically he searched for it through the dark.

Life, on the other hand, was a completely different matter. More complex. He couldn't deny though, despite everything, coming back to it after months would have made him happy; he had a lot of time to think, to grow, to heal in this strange purgatory resembling Mystic Falls. And he missed his brother. He missed their whole crew.

But he was never planning on returning to Falls alone.

He had been furious with Bonnie for sending him away like that, freaking out about what Kai could do to her, and he acted on making her rejoin the world of the living very quickly. He succeeded, of course; and it's been three years since then...

It all brought him here, back to her doorstep. Like it always did.

The nervousness inside his chest spilled, flooding him hotly. She has bloomed into a wild rose over the time, her tender features sharpened.

Standing outside among the falling snow, in the dark and cold, he watched her laugh from behind the smooth glass of the window. She was wearing a tight, blue sweater and white jeans, talking on the phone to Jeremy, if Damon had heard her correctly.

Which he had.

Her hair has grown back into its curls, black satin all around her face. He couldn't wait to smell her.

He entered the house quietly, slowly; there was no need for an invitation, because he got one those three summers ago. His heart pounded hard against his ribs as he made his way towards her, and he thought it was so ironic how he was once sure that this very organ inside him was utterly lifeless.

It was anything but.

He moved through the corridors leading to the living room blindly, with the ease of the predator that he has been for so long. The place was exactly as he remembered it; a perfect picture of a loving home, bright and cozy, with framed pictures and paintings hanging on the walls. Absolutely nothing changed.

He stopped in the doorway, waiting for Bonnie to finish her conversation. And it looked like he wasn't going to wait long. Bathed in the flickering candlelight, she was leaning against the wall, telling Jeremy that she was tired. There was a Christmas tree standing in the corner of the room, already dressed and glowing brightly even though it was only the beginning of December.

Damon took a few more steps towards her, just as softly as before, letting his eyes roam over each curve of her body.

She must have heard - or sensed - someone standing behind her, because she froze all of sudden, stilling like a statue. Before she had the time to get frightened, he wrapped his arms around her, pressing her back against his chest. She fit into him perfectly, like a missing puzzle piece, so small and so warm.

Her breath hitched; her heartbeat drummed like thunder in his ears. She reached out to touch his hand, very gingerly, as though she wasn't sure if he was real.

'' Damon...? ''

He closed her curious fingers in his own hand, leaning his chin on her shoulder. He could hear her voice shake and it made him want to run away. This was selfish.

But he has been going on without her for too long and he needed her. He could change many things, but not that.

'' Good morning, '' he said softly.

She laughed through her tears. Hey, it was practically morning, since midnight had passed.

One way or another, that didn't matter now.

He inhaled her deeply, as deeply as he could, right into his veins. Just like he remembered, she smelled of everything and anything that was home. Summer and daisies and her favorite perfume.

She turned in his arms to face him, cautiously, as if not wanting to shatter an illusion. Her hazel eyes drank him in with wonder, inch by inch. It made his heart swell painfully, sweetly. Proudly. Desire raged through him with the power of a tornado.

He leaned in to kiss her first, but it was her who closed the distance between them, abruptly, pressing her hands onto his cold cheeks and her mouth to his. She kissed him with all she had - the anger, the pain, the joy, the love. It felt like a dream. He twisted and turned his head in a burning rhythm that they created, holding her close; his hands lingering on her waist, squeezing it, his tongue rubbing thoughts and feelings into hers.

He was already on fire, his shirt too hot and uncomfortable, his jeans way too tight. In these short moments, he knew it was worth it. Everything he did to bring her back, in the end, it was worth it.

But it couldn't go on forever.

First, though, before he said goodbye, he just wanted that last night. At least a night.

It wasn't long before she pushed him onto the couch, straddling him, kissing and touching every piece of the skin that she revealed by getting rid of his clothing. And he could do nothing but watch her and mirror the movements, worshiping her, shivering and groaning into her ear.

They somehow ended up on the floor. It didn't matter.

When they made love, he felt beautifully whole. His movements were slow and firm, his mouth restless against her own, and she pulled on his dark hair harder and harder, but he didn't mind. In fact, he could barely feel it anymore; pleasure had overwhelmed his being and all he really wanted was to stay like this. For ever. She was his shelter, in every way.

He saw stars when it was over. But then, didn't he always? Not bothering to move, he let his head fall into the crook of her neck and his thighs remain in between hers. By the fireplace and under the blanket, they were warm, there was no need to rush. He felt too tired to let her go out of his embrace, so locked in each other they stayed, until finally they fell asleep.

Damon wasn't meant to. He had actually wasted hours for something as silly as sleeping while he could have talked to her. But luck seemed to be on his side, because he woke up quite early, missing the heat of another body next to his.

Perhaps that was exactly what had startled him out of his slumber. The chill of her absence.

A sweet scent floated in the air, a reminder of the past that he wished so badly he could crawl back into. Dressed up and clean, he found Bonnie making pancakes in the kitchen. A sad smile crept onto his face. She did that for him every single year.

'' Thought you hated those, '' he said, as he always did, enveloping her in his arms.

She looked so exquisite, so carefree, dancing around in a shirt and boxer briefs. No make up, no jewelry, just pure Bonnie. Like an angel in human skin.

He vaguely noticed her turning the cooker off before she leaned into him, smiling.

'' But I love you more, '' she said, rubbing her nose along the curve of his neck.

His eyelids fell down for a minute. He closed her up in his embrace, holding on to the moment with all he had. But not for long, never for too long. It was almost one in the afternoon. He was running out of time.

'' Bonnie, we need to talk. ''

For a minute, she didn't answer. And he was afraid to speak, so he didn't. The silence was too fragile.

When she finally looked up at him from under her long lashes, keeping her arms locked around his waist, she stood up on her toes and kissed him softly.

He relished in the warmth seeping through him in that moment, in the freedom. He could practically taste her love.

When his eyes opened, lazily, he found her unbuttoning her shirt. The sight made his stomach already bubble with heat, his eyes were hungry for more - all of him was starving for more - but he refused to let the desire take over. No, he could never get enough of her, especially after they've been parted for so long. But now was not the time.

'' Bonnie - '' he began in a protest, but she only pressed her finger to his lips. He could see fear in her eyes; she knew where this was going.

'' Please, '' she whispered. '' Whatever you have to say, say it after. ''

He studied her face, then, at last, lifted her gently by the thighs to sit her on the marble counter. He couldn't have stopped himself even if he still wanted to.

Oh, well.

He let himself get lost in everything that she was again, running his tongue across her neck as he showered it tenderly with kisses. He could feel her unbutton his jeans, then slide them down until they pooled around his ankles. He could hear the heaviness of her breath mingled with his, he could feel it caressing his skin.

This was yin and yang, hardness and softness, two halves merging into one. He moved in and out of her just as lovingly as yesterday, but faster, because this was goodbye and he was desperate.

He shuddered when he came, and she was right there with him, digging her nails into his back until it bled. It was a beautiful kind of pain.

He buried his head in her chest and stayed like that, for a minute, or two... or three. He wasn't sure. Time seemed to be stretching into eternity, but passing by with the speed of lighting at once, unkind and enigmatic.

Without even bothering to zip up properly or catch his breath, he went to stand in between her legs again, rubbing her thighs soothingly with his fingers.

'' Are you on vervain? ''

Bonnie shook her head, dropping a kiss onto his nose.

'' No. Why? Did you want to...? ''

That was a part of the deal. Bonnie wouldn't get her powers back; instead, she'd live like a normal human being. But she couldn't be that if she tried. She was far from ordinary.

Damon felt confused at first, and then it dawned on him. She thought he had wanted to bite her.

He didn't answer. His mouth opened, but his throat was void of any echo. There must have been something in his expression, something in his eyes, because the light on her face dimmed slowly. Her smile died. She closed her eyes, hiding, wrapping herself around him.

'' Bonnie? '' He questioned gently, moving his hands from her thighs to caress her back instead. He approached her like a child, frightened again, not sure if by then she knew the truth or not.

'' I don't want to see you go, '' she said into his shoulder. The words were barely audible, a broken mumble into his skin.

Biting on his lip anxiously, Damon replied with the only honest thing he was able to think of.

'' You won't... I promise. ''

Reluctantly, Bonnie lifted her head, but her eyes remained closed. He could see a tear flowing down her cheek, yet a tentative smile was beginning to blossom on her face weakly. Reassuringly, even as she sniffed.

'' Promise? ''

He could feel a lump rise in his throat, but he swallowed it, putting a smile onto his face, too.

The smile was anything but happy.

'' I promise. ''

Her eyes opened lazily. Before his will crumbled into dust, he trapped her chin in between his fingertips.

And suddenly, those wide eyes of hers went blank.

'' That's why you're going to forget this happened, '' he said quietly. He wiped the new tears that fell down her cheeks with his free hand away.

She must have seen it coming, somehow, in some way. She always did. Perhaps there were things that one's heart could not forget, no matter what the circumstances. And ever since they came back, that was all he's ever been doing. Showing up two or three times a year, then disappearing.

They'd be happy for a few hours, then he'd lie through his teeth and compel her to forget that she ever saw him - making her think he called instead, because he couldn't visit. Telling her that he had to go away, but he would be back, because he loved her very much and she knew that. The fact that she moved out of Mystic Falls helped, too. A lot. No one was around to question anything.

The first time when he compelled her, she had been crying as well, even in the numb state of being under his power. Just like now. He hated it. Abhorred it.

He wrapped one of her curls around his finger fondly, and inched his mouth to her ear.

'' I was never here, '' he whispered.

This time, it had to be different. He would take it all away.

'' Nothing happened between us on The Other Side. We were friends, we brought each other back, and now I'm gone. You miss me, but... you live on, because deep down, in your heart, you know that I'm always with you. ''

When he looked at her again, there was no more tears. Just rivers on her cheeks that they made before, as they fell, drying slowly.

'' Think about giving Jeremy another chance. He makes you happy. ''

These words.

He could have staked himself, it wouldn't hurt as much.

But there was no other option, at least not today. The traveler who helped him bring her back to life had made himself clear.

Damon was never the one for rules, and he would be damned if he let anyone boss him around and destroy his life. But at the moment, he was trapped in between four stone walls, with no weapons or knowledge that could be useful for self defense.

And the rules were clear. His body for the life of Bonnie Bennett. Maximum three visits a year.

It was obvious that he wasn't going to choose himself. But dragging it on, keeping her waiting... it was pointless, cruel, and he wasn't going to. Not anymore.

In the meantime, Stefan was probably playing the white knight, trying to find a way to save his brother, looking for another knife. But would he find it? Damon didn't think so anymore.

Leaving a feathery, bittersweet kiss on Bonnie's forehead, he could feel numbness take over his body like a toxin. Paralyzing him from head to toe. He was gone within a second, out of her house, out of her life, back to the hole he crawled out of to see her.

This time, for good.