Summary: Lily doesn't expect she'll ever see James again, but she does. Even though she has to let go of someone else first.
Rating: T
Warning: Canonical character deaths
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling and nothing belongs to me (as always). I don't make any money out of this story. There are lines in this OS taken from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, chapter 17: Bathilda's Secret.
.:.
Written for:
[HSWW] Assignment #8: Magical and Mundane Literature: Children's Literature / Task #2 - Write about someone who loves someone unconditionally
Other prompts listed at the end
Word count (without the A/N): 1,875 words
unconditionally (of endings and new beginnings): Lily Potter and James Potter
Lily crouches down at the top of the stairs and gazes at James, who can't seem to take his eyes off her. Even as the door bursts open and the threatening silhouette appears (she knows who it is but she can't quite believe it), he visibly struggles to look down at his opponent (it's not even an opponent at that point, it's his executioner).
She feels tears welling up in her eyes, because all she has seen in his is love. Love for her and for their son. There is no fear in him, she can see it in his stance, and she is paralyzed.
It only takes a moment for Lord Voldemort to raise his wand arm and kill her husband, but during that brief second, she sees, feels and hears more things than she would have thought possible. She sees James, gazing at her intently behind his glasses, she relishes into the memory of their first kiss, she sees him kneeling in front of her with a ring box in his hand and honest anxiety in his eyes. She can recall in every time they've made love to each other, and she remembers the way he's hold her hand the day Harry was born.
And most of all, she hears the vows he's sworn to keep on their wedding day. She hears him say, "I swear I'll keep you safe and I'll love you and cherish you forever." The rest of the words had been for her, and only her. "Do you hear me, Lily? I love you. And I'll love you until the day I die, and if there's life after that, I'll love you still. Unconditionally." Tears (happy tears) had filled her eyes when she had heard those words, and she hadn't said anything in response but he had understood. She loved him too, unconditionally.
And she still does, and she wants to scream it at the top of her lungs. She wants him to hear it one more time, she wants the words to freeze the moment just before the green light hits him forever, and she wishes she could go back in time and save him. Save them all.
Instead, she just whispers it, her hand over her mouth muffling her words (and her sobs). And she can't do anything other than watch him fall on the ground, his glasses askew and his eyes empty (and her heart breaks into a million pieces, because it almost looks like he is sleeping but he isn't, and it was never supposed to end this way).
She sees the red, cruel eyes focused on her and she flees away, slightly tightening her grip around her baby's body. Harry… She has to save Harry now. It's all that matters now that James is gone, because she can't lose him too.
She closes the door of the nursery behind her and puts Harry down in his crib. She tries to barricade the door (but it's hopeless, and she knows it), and when it bursts open, she screams in terror because this can't be happening.
She tries to shield Harry with her own body because even if she has to go down to protect him, she'll do it. She loves him with all her heart and she just wants him to be safe (because then, a part of James will still be alive).
She stops screaming then and rather begs for her son's life. She half-turns towards her little boy and sees his bright green eyes (so innocent, she has to protect this innocence with everything she has) looking up at her. She doesn't kneel down before the crib like she wants to, she doesn't say the words, "Papa loves you, Mama loves you," because she knows her voice won't come out the way she wishes it would, but she thinks them nonetheless. And it's stupid, but she hopes he can see it her bright green eyes filled with tears (but he's so young, so she knows he can't).
It dawns on her at that moment, and she asks the Dark Lord, "Take me. Kill me instead." Her voice is wavering and she curses herself for it; she wishes she could be stronger. She realizes then that there is no greatest strength than the will to sacrifice herself for someone she loves so dearly, and she knows her love will be enough for Harry to survive (even if it wasn't enough to save James).
"This is my last warning," Lord Voldemort says to answer her offer.
She starts crying because she knows he won't back down, but she isn't afraid. She just waits for him to kill her, for she is almost sure that it will save her son (and maybe, in the hidden depths of her mind, she hopes as well that she will be reunited with James somewhere).
It's not even painful when the curse hits her, and she doesn't even feel herself falling on the ground. Her last thoughts are for her son, and she hopes that he will forgive James and her with time, for leaving so fast.
There's a hard ground beneath her, and something else that feels like grass, and before she even opens her eyes, she's frowning. She's dead and she shouldn't be feeling anything, so is it possible that...?
She opens her eyes and gazes up at the bright blue sky, and she knows she's not in her house anymore. And even though the weather is beautiful and the sun warms her skin (or does it? Is she imagining that too?), she starts crying because Harry.
She curls into a ball and lets the sobs wreck her mind, until she feels a hand on her shoulder (a gentle hand that she knows she'll recognize anywhere, but it can't be so she must still be dreaming). She starts and turns, and she sees James's concerned face hovering above hers.
"James?" she whispers, and her voice is raw.
He nods and pulls her up before wrapping his arms around her tightly, so tightly that she can't breathe (but she realizes she's not been breathing since she's got here, and that scares her more than she would like to admit and she starts shaking).
"I've got you, okay? You don't have to be afraid anymore. I'm here. I've got you." His voice soothes her like it always has, and slowly, she calms down enough to step away from him and put her hands (her too pale hands) on his cheeks.
"I'm sorry," she blurts out.
He wipes away the tears rolling down her cheeks and presses a kiss to her forehead. "You didn't do anything, so why are you apologizing?" he asks her then.
"That's the problem, James. I didn't do anything. I didn't save you, and I can't even be sure I've saved our son!"
"You have," he tells her. "You have saved Harry."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because you love him unconditionally. I know your love for him knows no bounds, and I think I can say you didn't think twice about dying for him."
He pauses and she understands it's a question, and she shakes her head. "I didn't," she admits.
"See?" he says, smiling a little. It's not the kind of bright smile he's always showed before, it's sadder, but it's there nonetheless and she leans against him for support.
It hits her like a wave how she loves him, even if her heart has stopped beating, and she takes a few deep breaths to assess that fact.
"It's alright. I love you," he whispers again, his voice low against her ear.
"I love you too," she responds, and then she utters the word she hasn't had the chance to say so far. "Unconditionally."
His eyes lit up behind his glasses which reflect the sun, and he leans in to kiss her. It's not the same sensation as when they were alive, but it's beautiful nonetheless.
When she pulls back, she looks into his hazel eyes and asks (even if she doesn't want to break this happy moment), "What about Harry?"
"You've saved him. He would have appeared by now if you hadn't," James answers. "Your love was strong enough to save him, Lils. And I'm so grateful for that."
"Me too," she whispers, but there are tears forming in her eyes again because she won't even see her beautiful boy grow up, she won't be the one to teach him potions, James won't be the one to teach him how to fly…
"Hey, hey, Lily, don't cry," he tries to soothe her, but this time it doesn't work.
"Our son, James… He'll be alone, and we won't see him growing up, and…"
He puts his hand on her trembling shoulders and lifts her chin so that she can look him in the eye, and he states, "We will. We'll always be with him. We'll be there for him whenever he needs us, and I'm already so proud of him, and I know you are too."
"You really think we'll be able to be there?"
"Do you trust me, Lily?" he asks her, his voice a little tense.
"Of course! Always!"
"Then trust me when I say that we will be there for our son if he needs our help, and even if he doesn't."
She nods and takes a few deep breaths, and she's shocked when James smiles a little more brightly at her.
"Besides, we have our own little paradise! You see this, Lils?" he asks her, and he's enthusiastic like he's always been. "We'll stay here for all eternity, and our son and our grandchildren will join us in a little while, and we'll all be together again. That's more than we were ready to ask for, right?"
"Right," she answers, a thin smile on her lips. "But you were always the optimistic one," she reminds him then.
"You're right, Lily Potter. You know me far too well."
She shakes her head and smacks him on the side of the head, careful not to throw his glasses askew (the last time they were askew, he had been lying dead at the bottom of the stairs).
"You're infuriating, Potter," she says. "I do have one more question though."
"Ask away," he invites her.
"Shouldn't we try to find Marlene, Dorcas, Edgar and his family and everyone else?" she asks him, her eyes searching his face.
He looks around them and she follows his gaze, and she sees nothing but a stretch of grass and a few trees, darker on the bright horizon.
"I think this place's just ours," he finally answers.
She nods in agreement, but there's a sadness in her eyes because she considers them as her family and this is just… too much. Too much loss for one day. Instead of crying though, she wraps her arms around her husband and rests her forehead on his chest (his still chest).
"This is our new beginning, Lily," James tells her. "We have to take that chance while we can, alright?"
"Alright," she nods, but the word is muffled by James's shirt.
"Our very own chance at happiness…" he sighs against her hair, and she agrees and tightens her grip around him.
Also written for:
[HSWW] April Auction - Day 8: Auction 1. (dialogue) "I've got you, okay? You don't have to be afraid anymore. I'm here. I've got you."
[HSWW] Yearly Events:
365 Prompts: 8. Moment
Insane Prompt Challenge: 258. (dialogue) "You didn't do anything, so why are you apologizing?"
Yearly Scavenger Hunt: 77. Write an AU you've never written before (Afterlife!AU)
[HSWW] Herbology Hangout: Mixed seed - (era) Marauders
[HSWW] Seasonal Challenges:
Days of the Year: 12th May (Mother's Day, US) - Write about a mother
Seasonal Challenge - Spring: 16. (theme) New Beginnings
Seasonal Challenge - Flowers: 5. Peony - (theme) Reunion
Amanda's Challenge (Fandoms): 4. Buffy the Vampire Slayer - (alt) Write about a strong female character
[HSWW] Writing Club - April:
Showtime (Oliver!): 12. My Name - (word) strong
Bex's Basement: Vision: 3. (dialogue) "It's alright. I love you."
[HSWW] Hogwarts Gym: Oliver Wood's Quidditch Training Camp - Level 1: 1. Push Ups - Write 1,000 words about your OTP
[HSWW] Hogwarts Easter Funfair - Working Bees: Pairing Bee #12 (James / Lily); AU Bee #28 (Afterlife); Theme Bee #2 (Beginnings)
[HPFC] OTP Boot Camp Challenge: 50. eternity
[HPFC] Fifty Shades Of… Challenge (Fifty Shades of the First War)