I originally came up with this story a few years back, and I have decided to make some changes and rewrite it. I hope you guys enjoy! I appreciate comments and reviews. :)

It's my least favorite time of the day.

I hold my lunch tray with a deadly grip and try to maintain a normal face, preparing for what's about to come. I scan around the lunch room, and narrow my eyes when they hit their table. I lift up my chin and try to ignore them, but once again, I fail. I see her sitting next to him. Her elbow rests on the table, and her torso is turned towards him. Her head rests upon her hands, and is covered by her silky hair. Her eyes are sparkling as she talks to him, dancing along with every word he speaks. His eyes dance along as well, and together they create a beautiful ballad. His leg hangs over one side of the bench, and he is turned towards her completely. He pays attention to no one else, just her. Their friends sit with him. Odd, next to Ulrich, and Jeremy and Aelita next to him. They chatter amongst themselves, occasionally bringing Yumi and Ulrich into the conversation. Just by looking at them you can tell they are tightly knit, and you can feel the bond of their friendship.

This moment lasts for only a few seconds, but it feels like 100 years. All I've ever wanted is right in front of me, but I have to walk right past it and pretend it's not there. My heart seems frozen as I begin to take my first step. I pray that they do not acknowledge me, yet deep down I know I want her to at least give me a glance. I tell myself not to look, but I'm not a good listener.

"I used to be important to them," I think to myself. Yes, I was. There was a time where they had let me in. Told me their secrets, shared memories, and most of all, trusted me. It was a very short, but very incredible time. I had always wanted to be one of them. And finally, I was. For a while, I felt like I was flying above clouds. I felt as if I could do anything. That we could do anything. I felt accepted, loved, and wanted. But it immediately came to a shattering halt when he took control of me... I was gone for months. And during those months, they fought for me. They did everything they could to get me back. They didn't want their friend William back though. No, they wanted their classmate William back. Their acquaintance that they briefly acknowledged. They had forgotten all about William, one of them. They only remembered William Dunbar, the boy who got kicked out of his last school. The boy who was a bit rebellious. The boy they had never really given a chance.

I'm walking right next to them now. In that split second, all those memories flash before my eyes. I remember them telling me I was one of them now. I remember them initiating me. I remember being virtualized for the first time. I remember becoming possessed. And I remember months of darkness. The worst memory hits after. I remember finally coming back and finding myself unwanted.

Unwanted. That's the feeling I get when I walk past this table. I've offered them my help, my friendship, and for her, I've offered my love. But they have no interest. They have no interest in me, the boy who has so much history with them. It's as if it never even happened, and sometimes I'm convinced that it didn't. Because I'm pretty sure they convinced themselves that. They put it all behind them, while I'm still stuck there. It's going to be a long time before I get out. I take a deep breath as I get past them. I've won the battle, but I get no reward. The cement wall around my heart that was once so strong is crumbling slowly each day.

The pain of seeing my lost friends makes me want to turn around and run back. Beg for their friendship back. Try to make them see how much I need this. How much I need them. How much I need her. It takes every once of my being not to do that. Each day it gets harder. I wonder just how much more this wall can take. It was once strong and secure, but pain has eroded it and broke it down. The cracks are deep, too deep to be repaired. I sit down at the table, nearby people that I do not know.

"They must think I'm ridiculous," I thought. "Sitting here all by myself," Nobody knows me anymore. I hardly know myself.

I eat almost in a trance. My mind is not in the moment but instead far away. I think of when I first met Yumi. I was so entranced by her, and I still am. I think of my run ins with Ulrich, all because her. I give a small smile. I would do anything to go back to that time, when I didn't know their secret. When I was still innocent and naive. My mind was fresh and young. Now it's scarred from wounds that were too deep to go away. The scars will last forever. I've accepted that, but I desperately wish that they could leave. I want to forget this all and start over. Or, at the very least, start new.

I get up and begin to walk out of the lunch room. This time, my eyes stay forward. I concentrate on the wall ahead of me, making sure that I do not let myself feel any emotion. I do see them in my peripheral vision, but this time I feel no pain.

"You can only feel so much," I thought. I've had enough for today.