Poppycock
PART I

'Good luck, eh?' Archie gave a weary sigh. 'Wish I'd had some of these when I met my last girlfriend.'

Greg snickered into his bottle of genever. 'You were doomed from the start.' He smiled when Archie tossed him a look of dismayed petulance over the mini-cooler. Archie couldn't really do pouting.

'Well, I don't really know anything about flowers. What's the genetic make-up for this one, Greggo?'

'Hell if I know,' muttered Greg, and he lay back on the grass. He balanced the half-empty bottle on his hip with two fingers on the rim and stifled a yawn. It wasn't even five o'clock. 'I could tell you the family - which is Oleaceae by the way. The olive family. But the compounds I'd have to look up.'

He tilted his head toward a slouching Archie. 'Didn't you ever learn about flowers from all those women parading around back home? Ar- ow!'

Archie smiled innocently. He eyed Greg a moment, then grabbed another beer from the cooler. 'My father was always going on about how a woman's presence was essential in raising a child,' he used the bottle opener for emphasis, '"Got to have both or they won't grow right," he said that all the time.'

'Yeah,' Greg rubbed his smarting thigh, 'but didn't your father have, like, a different girlfriend every month? And that's the fourth time you've kicked me since inviting yourself over,' he added, matter-of-fact.

'You'll never see me making stereotypes out of women. -First of all, women don't parade around unless they're specifically in the mood for it. Use that phrase carefully.'

Greg took a sip and gestured at Archie to continue.

'You listening? Good. One thing I did learn is that women are better than us, on the whole. They're all insane too, but that doesn't matter.'

'All of them?'

Archie stared at Greg with a knowing look. Greg stared back, amused. 'All of them. Have fun finding a girlfriend.'

'Ch,' chuffed Greg; Archie leaned back against the tree.

Eventually Greg finished his bottle and set it aside. He turned on his side and looked inquisitively at Archie, who was tapping the rim of his own empty bottle against his lip, gaze distant. 'What's with the kicking, anyway? That a girl thing, too?'

Archie brought his focus back to Greg and glared. 'Stereotyping,' he intoned.

'Yeah, yeah. Is it?'

'You know I like you, but I'm not against kicking you somewhere other than the legs.'

Greg raised an eyebrow; his smirk slowly grew into a wide grin. 'As my friend, I say you won't hurt me.'

Archie set his bottle down, but kept his hand on it. 'You know, I only liked you since you told off that swing sub who said Star Trek was a sucky show for geeks. Before that, you were just the new kid who desperately needed a reduction in his sugar intake.' Archie paused. 'You were annoying, actually.'

Greg's grin had only grown. 'You wound me with such careless words. But I must correct you; I'm lovable, not annoying.'

'You believe that?'

Greg laughed.

Author: jagter se maan
Status: Complete
Series: Poppycock (Part I)