Patches

Making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the morning had become such a daily part of my routine that I could probably do it in my sleep. Which was a good trait to have seeing that I had basically slept walked through my entire morning and still managed to make a decent lunch for her. I walk over to the cabinet with a large spoonful of peanut butter in my mouth (to hopefully mask the scent of alcohol on my breath) and start to put my things away. I reach up and grab the pink Barbie lunchbox, hesitantly pushing the blue Star Wars one to the side.

After I quickly pack the lunch, I hear her footsteps approach the kitchen. I turn to find a six-year-old girl standing in the door way, a matching Barbie backpack slung over her shoulders. "Hey Piper, you look good. Are you ready for your first day of first grade?" I ask with cheesy enthusiasm. I bend down to her level and hand her her lunchbox. She takes it and quietly shakes her head in response. Her gray-ish, blue eyes are distant, and lack the sparkly twinkle a little girl's eyes should have. With a concerned frown I push a few dirty blonde streaks of hair out of her tan round face. "Why not?"

"What if kids ask me about this?" She points to the fluorescent green cast on her arm. "Or this?" She moves her hand up to her cheek, where a healed cut has begun to take the form of a scar. A memory flashes in my head, but I quickly shake it away.

"Well Pipes, you tell them you broke your arm. As for your cheek, tell them you got a cut." "But what if they ask how?" I put a firm hand on her shoulder. "You don't have to tell them how. It's not their business." She nods slowly, and looks away, tears in her eyes. A silent moment passes until, "Uncle Mal, why did mommy and daddy have to leave me?" A sharp pain twists in my heart as I fail to find the words Piper Redbird is searching for. It's a question she asked a lot, but I never have the answer. "I don't know. . . They had a better place to be. Where they are, they aren't in pain anymore." Piper's eyes meet mine again. "Aunt Natara and Frankie there with them too, right?" Tears form in my eyes now, and I swallow hard. "Yeah, yeah they are." She still doesn't seem content with the answers. "So why aren't we with them?"

I think long and hard for a minute. "I honestly don't know Piper. I never will know. Neither will you. But there is a reason. There's a reason that it's just you and me now. We may not like it, but I believe that over time, you and me, we're gonna be okay. We'll get through this together all right?" She wipes her glistening eyes and nods again. "All right." I pull her into a tight hug. We stay in our comforting embrace until we hear the honk of the school bus outside. "Time for you to go. Are you going to be okay?" Piper walks toward the door. "Yes I'll be okay. Bye bye Uncle Mal. See ya after school." "Okay Piper I'll be here."

With that she leaves, and I'm left standing in the eerie silence of my empty home. I mindlessly wander to the living room, where I had spent the previous night drinking my thoughts away. I twirl an empty beer bottle sitting next to a newspaper on the table, tears fighting their way back into my eyes as I read the headline. In my peripheral I spot a family portrait sitting on the fire place, and in a blind rage, I hurl the bottle at the picture frame with a pained yell. The bottle shatters and sends the frame flying to the ground. I walk slowly over to the picture and pick it up. Through the cracked glass I see myself, Natara, and our beautiful son Franklin sitting under a tree in Golden Gate Park, taken not too long ago. My mind flashes back to that fateful night several weeks ago, after Kai's 4th of July party. I was driving our family, Blaise, Jeremy, and Piper home. Our car only sat five people, so Frankie was sitting on Nat's lap in the left backseat with no seat belt on. Piper was sitting in the middle backseat and Jeremy was sitting on the right side. Blaise had called shot gun so she was sitting next to me. . . with no seat belt on. Blaise didn't think it would be a problem. We weren't having to drive very far. The seat belt wouldn't have fit comfortably around Natara and Frankie so they didn't think much of it. But that guy who ran the red light and t-boned the right side of my car didn't think much of them not wearing their seat belt either.

I can remember waking up in the hospital. I can still hear Amy's voice telling me that Natara was gone. I can still hear myself crying out for my son, only to learn that he was gone too. Through my broken sobs I asked Amy about Blaise and Jeremy, only to be met with two more holes punctured in my heart. I thought my world was gone, but then I was given the miracle of Piper surviving. Since I was her God father, I was given custody of her. I remember holding her hand while we placed flowers on four caskets. I remember packing Frankie's things in boxes so Piper could have his room. I remember our first night together as a new family, and I remember holding her in my arms as we both cried, trying to get a grip on what was our new reality.

In a few weeks though, after the intense grieving, we actually grew closer together, and we felt like a real family, as broken as it was. We went to the fair. I took her to her t-ball practices, dealt with pitiful stares, and then went for ice cream after. I chased away the monsters in her closet. In a way, Piper chased away mine too. She became the bright spot in my life when everything was dark. No matter how much the memories of Natara and Frankie threaten to choke the life out of me, she gives me air. Whenever the weight of their deaths bears down on me, and I don't think I can take it anymore, I remember the little girl in the room next to mine, and I know that I have to keep going. She may only be six, but I need her as much as she needs me. Piper Redbird and I. We still need some work, but I know that over the years, we will patch the holes in each others' hearts up, and I love her more than anything in the world.

End

So I'm not really sure what I just wrote. It's like two in the morning. I may make more chapters I may leave it how it is. I should really update my other story but you know, my priorities are out of order.