The Trails of Our Lives.
By Lisa
ring ring ring, phone call phone call, ring ring ring
"'ello? Meowth's speaking."
"Please hold for an important message..."
click.
ring ring ring, phone call phone call, ring ring ring
"'ello? "
"Please hold for an important..."
click.
ring ring ring, phone call phone call, ring ring ring
ring ring ring, phone call phone call, ring ring ring
ring ring ring, phone call phone call, ring ring ring
"We're home but we're currently avoiding someone, so please leave your name and number after the beep and we'll get back to you... unless your the
one we're avoiding....BEEEEEEP..."
"Hello, I'm calling about a court summit J. Cosset and J. Raven should have received in the mail telling them the time and date they are to appear in court.
If there are any questions call 555-5555. Thank you."
click
"Hey, did yous bozo's get any ding in de mail?" Meowth asked and received two blank stare as a response.
"Did yous get any mail at all?
"We get mail?!" James asked in surprised.
The sarcastic cat pokemon gave his blue haired partner his trade mark 'I can't believe you're considered a higher life form than me' look.
"Yes...dat's why we have a mail box, you dolt!"
"We have a mail box?!"
"yes..."
"wow..."
"never mind..." Meowth growled in annoyance and stalked off to check their neglected mailbox.
"Jessie, did you know we have a mail box?"
whack!
"Shut up, I'm trying to watch Judge Rudy."
***
LATER
***
"Junk mail, junk mail, play girl address to Jessie, junk, junk, bills, bills, junk, parking tickets, play girl addressed to James, love letter with lipstick on it,
you just won one million dollar, junk, important court notice...I guess this is what dey were talking 'bout." Meowth shrugged and used his claws as an letter opener.
"De following people are to appear in court, bla bla bla, 6-19-00, bla bla bla, being sued, so on and so forth....did you two clowns know ya being sued?"
he asked before reading through the rest of his partners' mail.
"So... we have to go court..." Jessie said looking at James
" Which means we have to dress up..." James said looking at Jessie.
"And since we don't have any suits ..."
"We're going shopping!" they screamed in glee and ran out the door with credit cards in hand.
"Stupid humans." Meowth mumbled and quickly glanced through the playgirl magazine.
"EWWWWW! HOW CAN HUMANS FIND DIS ATTRACTIVE?!"
***
LATER
***
"We're here!" Jessie announced as she entered the court in a black skirt suit with a blue scarf wrapped around her neck, followed by James who was
wearing the same thing...expect with a pink scarf.
"Where de heck have you numb skulls been...and why's he wearing a skirt?!" asked their lawyer, AKA Meowth.
"We've been window shopping and he's wearing a skirt because it's been proven that judges tend to be easier on women." the red-head stated calmly.
"And I like the way silk feels on my skin." James added.
Meowth sighed and pulled out a pen. "James, let me see your arm."
***
Today on Judge Rudy, three young plaintiffs are suing teenage defendants for a total of $5000 on the charge of harassment and attempted robbery.
The defendants is counter-suing for $8000 due to injuries caused by the plaintiff's Pikachu. Will these children win or will their be a 'shocking' victory for the
defendant. Find out today on judge Rudy.
*insert stupid music here (Judge Rudy does have stupid music, right?)*
"All rise for the honorable Judge Rudy" shouted a guard who was busy gawking at the defendants' chests.
"You three..." the judge gestured at the twerps, "Which one of you is 'Ash Ketchup'"
"It's Ketchem..."
"Don't talk back to me, young man!" she screamed. "It's my court and I will hold you in contempt! Now answer the question, which one of you is 'Ash Ketchup'"
"I...I am..." the spiky hair boy stated meekly.
"And you would be Misty Vex, correct?"
"yes ma'am." answered the orange hair girl in the tacky suit.
"And you are Brock Prurience?"
"yeah..."
"LOOK ME IN THE EYE WHEN YOU SPEAK, SIR!"
"I am I am!"
"Don't give me that crap, guards, get him out of here!" she yelled.
"OK, now is anyone else planing of being a smart mouth? No? Good. Now, you two, can I have your names?"
"I'm Jessie Raven."
"And I'm James...ow!"
"Remember, they're easier on females..." Jessie hissed.
"I'm JAMIE Cosset." he corrected himself while rubbing his newly bruised ribs.
"Good. Now, does everyone understand why you're here?" she asked.
"yes." The remaining twerps answered.
"Ummm...Unpaid bills? And if that's it, the check is in the mail! Honest!" James said.
"No. That's not why."
"Tax fraud? Even though we would never do such a thing..." Jessie guessed.
"no..."
"We don't know anything about any parking tickets."
"Besides, it wasn't even our car!" James added, which earned him another elbow in the ribs.
"no, that's not it either. You're here because those two have accused you of attempted robbery and harassment."
"ohhhhhhhhh..."
"OK, Mr. Ketchup, tell me your side of the story please." The Judge said while adjusting her coke bottles...I mean, glasses.
"Well...they tried to steal my Pikachu...." Ash cried and pulled Pikachu into a bear hug.
"Do you have proof of this? Or are you just assuming?" came her monotone reply, which basically said, 'I would rather be in bed but since you whiny little
brats had to sue someone I'm stuck here working'.
"They're Team Rocket!" Ash whined , not even noticing that his clip on tie had been knocked to the floor during Pikachu's attempt to escape her trainers iron grip.
"Do you have proof of that?"
"Well...no..."
Meanwhile, oblivious to everyone else, Jessie was hacking apart their Team rocket ID cards with her nail file while James set fire to their uniforms (which have
been sitting in plain view of everyone to see for the last 20 or so minutes) before turning to the judge and claiming that they never heard of or have been a part of
such an organization.
Pikachu whimpered as ash tightened his grip on her.
"Well, I have proof that they did!" shouted the annoying orange haired girl who was now holding up a photo of the Rocket duo in disguise.
"Let me see that." the judge said and snatched the photo from Misty's hand.
"Young lady, it is plain to see that the people in this photograph are both male, and the people standing here, which you are suing, are female..." she said in
annoyance and handed the photo of two teens who both had mustaches that didn't match their hair color.
"But they are men! At least one of them is...at least I think so...."
Judge Rudy snorted a disagreement and turned her attention to the two Rockets.
"Ms. Cosset , can you tell me your side of the story?"
"Sure!" James squeaked and pulled up his sleeve.
"We-had-nothing-to-do-with-them. They-were-the-ones-to-har..harra....."James stuttered. "Meowth what's that word near my elbow?"
"Harass."
"ohhh...OK! They-were-the-ones-to-harass-us. "he finished with a grin.
"Is this true Ms. Raven.?" she asked
"Well, they did more than just harass us, they out right attacked us for no reason!" she lied.
"Can either of you prove that they attacked you? "
Before the two teenagers could answer, Pikachu decided that there was only one way to get her master to let go of her. So, without a second thought, she
filled the room with electricity.
"Pika, pikachu!" she chirped, happy to be out of her owner's death grip and not caring that everyone in the room was twitching hopelessly on the ground...
"Dat's our proof..." the cat pokemon groaned once the uncontrollable twitching stopped.
Judge Rudy, being unused to being zap by 10, 000 volts of electricity, remained twitching on the floor, but that didn't stop her from reaching up, finding her gravel,
and bangging it as hard as she could.
"I rule...in favor...of...defendants ...$8000...."she managed to choke out before passing out on the floor.
Jessie and James, who were now used to being electrocuted, stood up and hugged.
"Jessie...being around all these good people makes me feel dirty!" he whined.
"There, there James, it'll be all right. We'll go to some filthy club filled with stripers and you'll feel better..." Jessie soothed.
"Male or female stripers?"
"Coed."
"Eeeeeeeeeee!" James cheered before skipping out the door in hopes of seeing some full frontal nudity, followed by Jessie.
Meowth watched them go, for once not caring, because it left him with the chance to claim the $8000 for himself. Without a word, he walked over to the twerps,
took the check book from ash's coat pocket, and looked at the balanced. $16.89 was in his account. Next he took out his pen and scribbled something on a
blank check before tearing it out.
"Hey, Pikachu? Since I'm now $8000 richer, what ya say ya ditch de twerps and we have a nice night on the town?" he tried to say seductively.
Pikachu rose her eyebrow in distrust.
"All the ketchup you can eat..."
"Pika!" she squeaked and walked out with Meowth and his newly forged check.
Life was good.
"The...name's Ketchem...not ketchup..." the boy moaned as his vision blurred, then he passed out.
the end
By Lisa
ring ring ring, phone call phone call, ring ring ring
"'ello? Meowth's speaking."
"Please hold for an important message..."
click.
ring ring ring, phone call phone call, ring ring ring
"'ello? "
"Please hold for an important..."
click.
ring ring ring, phone call phone call, ring ring ring
ring ring ring, phone call phone call, ring ring ring
ring ring ring, phone call phone call, ring ring ring
"We're home but we're currently avoiding someone, so please leave your name and number after the beep and we'll get back to you... unless your the
one we're avoiding....BEEEEEEP..."
"Hello, I'm calling about a court summit J. Cosset and J. Raven should have received in the mail telling them the time and date they are to appear in court.
If there are any questions call 555-5555. Thank you."
click
"Hey, did yous bozo's get any ding in de mail?" Meowth asked and received two blank stare as a response.
"Did yous get any mail at all?
"We get mail?!" James asked in surprised.
The sarcastic cat pokemon gave his blue haired partner his trade mark 'I can't believe you're considered a higher life form than me' look.
"Yes...dat's why we have a mail box, you dolt!"
"We have a mail box?!"
"yes..."
"wow..."
"never mind..." Meowth growled in annoyance and stalked off to check their neglected mailbox.
"Jessie, did you know we have a mail box?"
whack!
"Shut up, I'm trying to watch Judge Rudy."
***
LATER
***
"Junk mail, junk mail, play girl address to Jessie, junk, junk, bills, bills, junk, parking tickets, play girl addressed to James, love letter with lipstick on it,
you just won one million dollar, junk, important court notice...I guess this is what dey were talking 'bout." Meowth shrugged and used his claws as an letter opener.
"De following people are to appear in court, bla bla bla, 6-19-00, bla bla bla, being sued, so on and so forth....did you two clowns know ya being sued?"
he asked before reading through the rest of his partners' mail.
"So... we have to go court..." Jessie said looking at James
" Which means we have to dress up..." James said looking at Jessie.
"And since we don't have any suits ..."
"We're going shopping!" they screamed in glee and ran out the door with credit cards in hand.
"Stupid humans." Meowth mumbled and quickly glanced through the playgirl magazine.
"EWWWWW! HOW CAN HUMANS FIND DIS ATTRACTIVE?!"
***
LATER
***
"We're here!" Jessie announced as she entered the court in a black skirt suit with a blue scarf wrapped around her neck, followed by James who was
wearing the same thing...expect with a pink scarf.
"Where de heck have you numb skulls been...and why's he wearing a skirt?!" asked their lawyer, AKA Meowth.
"We've been window shopping and he's wearing a skirt because it's been proven that judges tend to be easier on women." the red-head stated calmly.
"And I like the way silk feels on my skin." James added.
Meowth sighed and pulled out a pen. "James, let me see your arm."
***
Today on Judge Rudy, three young plaintiffs are suing teenage defendants for a total of $5000 on the charge of harassment and attempted robbery.
The defendants is counter-suing for $8000 due to injuries caused by the plaintiff's Pikachu. Will these children win or will their be a 'shocking' victory for the
defendant. Find out today on judge Rudy.
*insert stupid music here (Judge Rudy does have stupid music, right?)*
"All rise for the honorable Judge Rudy" shouted a guard who was busy gawking at the defendants' chests.
"You three..." the judge gestured at the twerps, "Which one of you is 'Ash Ketchup'"
"It's Ketchem..."
"Don't talk back to me, young man!" she screamed. "It's my court and I will hold you in contempt! Now answer the question, which one of you is 'Ash Ketchup'"
"I...I am..." the spiky hair boy stated meekly.
"And you would be Misty Vex, correct?"
"yes ma'am." answered the orange hair girl in the tacky suit.
"And you are Brock Prurience?"
"yeah..."
"LOOK ME IN THE EYE WHEN YOU SPEAK, SIR!"
"I am I am!"
"Don't give me that crap, guards, get him out of here!" she yelled.
"OK, now is anyone else planing of being a smart mouth? No? Good. Now, you two, can I have your names?"
"I'm Jessie Raven."
"And I'm James...ow!"
"Remember, they're easier on females..." Jessie hissed.
"I'm JAMIE Cosset." he corrected himself while rubbing his newly bruised ribs.
"Good. Now, does everyone understand why you're here?" she asked.
"yes." The remaining twerps answered.
"Ummm...Unpaid bills? And if that's it, the check is in the mail! Honest!" James said.
"No. That's not why."
"Tax fraud? Even though we would never do such a thing..." Jessie guessed.
"no..."
"We don't know anything about any parking tickets."
"Besides, it wasn't even our car!" James added, which earned him another elbow in the ribs.
"no, that's not it either. You're here because those two have accused you of attempted robbery and harassment."
"ohhhhhhhhh..."
"OK, Mr. Ketchup, tell me your side of the story please." The Judge said while adjusting her coke bottles...I mean, glasses.
"Well...they tried to steal my Pikachu...." Ash cried and pulled Pikachu into a bear hug.
"Do you have proof of this? Or are you just assuming?" came her monotone reply, which basically said, 'I would rather be in bed but since you whiny little
brats had to sue someone I'm stuck here working'.
"They're Team Rocket!" Ash whined , not even noticing that his clip on tie had been knocked to the floor during Pikachu's attempt to escape her trainers iron grip.
"Do you have proof of that?"
"Well...no..."
Meanwhile, oblivious to everyone else, Jessie was hacking apart their Team rocket ID cards with her nail file while James set fire to their uniforms (which have
been sitting in plain view of everyone to see for the last 20 or so minutes) before turning to the judge and claiming that they never heard of or have been a part of
such an organization.
Pikachu whimpered as ash tightened his grip on her.
"Well, I have proof that they did!" shouted the annoying orange haired girl who was now holding up a photo of the Rocket duo in disguise.
"Let me see that." the judge said and snatched the photo from Misty's hand.
"Young lady, it is plain to see that the people in this photograph are both male, and the people standing here, which you are suing, are female..." she said in
annoyance and handed the photo of two teens who both had mustaches that didn't match their hair color.
"But they are men! At least one of them is...at least I think so...."
Judge Rudy snorted a disagreement and turned her attention to the two Rockets.
"Ms. Cosset , can you tell me your side of the story?"
"Sure!" James squeaked and pulled up his sleeve.
"We-had-nothing-to-do-with-them. They-were-the-ones-to-har..harra....."James stuttered. "Meowth what's that word near my elbow?"
"Harass."
"ohhh...OK! They-were-the-ones-to-harass-us. "he finished with a grin.
"Is this true Ms. Raven.?" she asked
"Well, they did more than just harass us, they out right attacked us for no reason!" she lied.
"Can either of you prove that they attacked you? "
Before the two teenagers could answer, Pikachu decided that there was only one way to get her master to let go of her. So, without a second thought, she
filled the room with electricity.
"Pika, pikachu!" she chirped, happy to be out of her owner's death grip and not caring that everyone in the room was twitching hopelessly on the ground...
"Dat's our proof..." the cat pokemon groaned once the uncontrollable twitching stopped.
Judge Rudy, being unused to being zap by 10, 000 volts of electricity, remained twitching on the floor, but that didn't stop her from reaching up, finding her gravel,
and bangging it as hard as she could.
"I rule...in favor...of...defendants ...$8000...."she managed to choke out before passing out on the floor.
Jessie and James, who were now used to being electrocuted, stood up and hugged.
"Jessie...being around all these good people makes me feel dirty!" he whined.
"There, there James, it'll be all right. We'll go to some filthy club filled with stripers and you'll feel better..." Jessie soothed.
"Male or female stripers?"
"Coed."
"Eeeeeeeeeee!" James cheered before skipping out the door in hopes of seeing some full frontal nudity, followed by Jessie.
Meowth watched them go, for once not caring, because it left him with the chance to claim the $8000 for himself. Without a word, he walked over to the twerps,
took the check book from ash's coat pocket, and looked at the balanced. $16.89 was in his account. Next he took out his pen and scribbled something on a
blank check before tearing it out.
"Hey, Pikachu? Since I'm now $8000 richer, what ya say ya ditch de twerps and we have a nice night on the town?" he tried to say seductively.
Pikachu rose her eyebrow in distrust.
"All the ketchup you can eat..."
"Pika!" she squeaked and walked out with Meowth and his newly forged check.
Life was good.
"The...name's Ketchem...not ketchup..." the boy moaned as his vision blurred, then he passed out.
the end