Chapter 1
Acceptance. That was all Kerry Weaver had ever wanted. She had always been on the outside, never having many friends, being made fun of for her disability, being shut out by the world, it seemed. Finally she had given up, accepting the fact that she would never be accepted. She became a loner; seeming to the outside world a cold hearted person. She'd given up on relationships; they never seemed to work out anyway. She couldn't see how anyone could love her.
But all the changed. It all changed when Kim Legaspi came in to the picture. The light hearted, fun-loving woman who wasn't afraid to be herself. Kerry had been swept up in her beauty, her openness, her kindness. And to Kerry's surprise Kim had wanted a relationship with her. Her, Kerry Weaver, the one who didn't think she could be loved. Kim wanted to do just that. At first Kerry was afraid to accept her feelings for Kim. Once again she would be putting herself out for ridicule. She hadn't embraced the relationship as she probably should have, but after realizing how much Kim meant to her, she needed her to know.
That very night she went all the way to Kim's apartment and knocked on the door. They had had a little fight after Kerry had refused to talk to Kim in front of Dr. Benton when he had walked in to the break room. Kim had immediately left, without saying a word after Dr. Benton had left. Kerry had mentally kicked herself. Why did she always have to deny their relationship?
Kerry waited on Kim's doorstep. Finally the blonde appeared in the doorway, peering out through the windows in her door to see who it was. Upon seeing Kerry she gave her a sad smile and then unlocked and opened the door. "Kerry." Kim tilted her head and looked out at the helpless looking women on her doorstep. She fought off the urge to gather her in to her arms and hold her.
"I'm sorry." Kerry exhaled, looking down at the ground. "I'm sorry about this afternoon. I shouldn't have brushed you off like I did. I just…I can't…"
"Oh this is great, yeah come to my apartment to apologize; wouldn't want to do that at work." Kim threw her hand up into the air and leaned against the threshold of the door.
Kerry looked up at her and then back down, contemplating leaving. But frankly she didn't want to leave. "No, no Kim." She looked up at her, "Kim please."
There was a begging, pleading look in her eyes and Kim wasn't strong enough to turn her away. She looked up in to the night sky. It was cloudy, dark. She could tell a storm was coming and she instinctively pulled Kerry in to her apartment, closing the door behind them. Without a word, Kim helped Kerry out of her coat, hung it on the rack, and then went in to the kitchen. "Go ahead and sit down. I'll make some coffee." Kim pointed towards the couch. Kerry nodded and sat down, feeling rather awkward.
Once the coffee was made, Kim came back in to the living room, handing a mug to Kerry and then sitting down on the other end of the couch. She studied Kerry while sipping her coffee.
Kerry sat, staring intently in to the steaming black liquid, unable to make eye contact with Kim. She felt like she might cry; she didn't want to lose Kim. Kim meant everything to her. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, willing the tears not to come.
Kim watched, she noticed Kerry's sadness. Without thinking, Kim reached out and stroked Kerry's back, moving closer to her. "Shh."
"Kim," Kerry's voice was soft. "Kim, I need you." Kerry looked up, a lone tear running down her cheek. Kim's fingers moved to stop it, brushing across Kerry's face. "I can't stand when you walk away, when you don't talk to me. I want this relationship as much as you do, I just can't…well I'm not used to showing anyone I care. And this is so new, I never would have thought…"
"You would end up with a woman?" Kim finished her sentence.
"Yes." Kerry looked away, "It's not that I have anything against lesbians, it's just all so strange, and new." Kerry took a deep breath. Kim continued to stroke her back, consoling her without words. Kerry stumbled on her tears, "And then…" she had to stop, "and then there's the fact that you're asking me to once again fight to be accepted, and this is not something that is openly accepted."
"I'm aware of that and I'm not asking you to go around telling everyone in the ER. They can figure it out in time, I just don't like when you brush me off. When you're in a relationship, Kerry, you don't deny the other person. For all they know we could just be friends."
"I know, Kim, I know." Kerry sighed. Kim sat down her coffee cup and took Kerry's from her, setting it down next to her own. She wrapped her arm around Kerry's back and held her to her. Kerry rested her head on Kim's shoulder, feeling comforted by this action. "I missed you after you left." Kerry admitted, letting her fingers slid up and down Kim's arm, tickling her softly.
"I had to deal with a patient. You could have come and found me." Kim's voice was showing no sympathy, Kerry didn't like it.
"Well maybe I had patients too. I am an ER physician, it is possible that maybe…"
"Kerry." Kim interrupted her. "Kerry, I wasn't trying to start a fight." Kim looked down at the red head. She really cared for her. She pulled her closer and kissed the crown of her head. Kerry smiled.
"Sorry." Kerry apologized. Turning to Kim she asked, "So are we okay?"
Kim looked skeptical for a moment and then nodded her head yes. "Yes, Kerry, just please don't ignore me at work."
"I'll try not to." Kerry swore. Kim smiled her sweet, almost innocent smile. But Kerry knew better, it wasn't innocence, it was want.
Kim leaned in and the two kissed, Kim moving her hand to the side of Kerry's head. Kerry cupped Kim's face with her hands, her lips moving quickly in want of Kim. She had missed those lips; the same lips that had pleasured her more than anyone else had. Kim pulled away and looked in to Kerry's eyes. "Do you want to move this to the bedroom?"
Kerry nodded her head yes. Kim helped her up and then led her in to her small bedroom. As Kerry walked in to the room she took in the almost erotic smell that her lover seemed to emanate. She saw the fluffy bedspread, messy and unmade the way it usually was. The whole room was like one big orgasm to Kerry, every little piece of it seemed in a way sensual.
Kim sat her on the bed, carefully putting her cane to the side. Kerry watched her apprehensively, awaiting what gratification might ensue. Kim came to her, slowly parting Kerry's legs by pressing her knee between them. She cupped the back of Kerry's neck and pulled her to her, kissing her while slightly pushing with her knee. Kerry let out a moan as Kim began working her magic.
It was another blissful night; Kerry felt whole again. It was as if without Kim she wasn't complete. She needed her and she hoped that Kim knew this.
Life. Mark Greene did not want to die. He could admit that. He did not want to leave this life; he should still have another twenty years or so. It wasn't fair. And what about Elizabeth, the love of his life at the moment? Yes, he had had other loves, but Elizabeth was something special. Something so special that he had proposed to her and now they were getting married. And the cherry on top was the fact that Elizabeth was pregnant with his child. His life should have been the archetype of all lives, but then the damn brain tumor had to go and ruin everything. Elizabeth was taking it well; making sure he took care of himself and seeing him through treatment. Yes, he had had the operation. It had gone successfully, but there was still that chance of a reoccurrence. He didn't like his odds.
"Mark, what are you thinking about?" Elizabeth's sultry British voice asked, while running her fingers over his head, stroking it gently. His head was rested on her chest, right between her breasts, one of his favorite places to lie. He was looking down at her stomach, which seemed to grow each day.
"Nothing, honey." He kissed her stomach and then continued to stare at it.
"No, really." She egged him on.
"I'm thinking about my future." He sighed.
"Well don't think to far ahead. Mark, everything is going to be fine. You heard the doctor, your operation went…"
"Very well and there's hardly any chance that there will be a reoccurrence. I know." Mark finished her sentence. "I know that, but there's still that one chance."
"Mark," Elizabeth sat up on her elbows, causing Mark to roll off her chest and look at her. "You need to stop thinking like this. Get the negative out and think about the positive." She looked at him, tilting her head to examine him. Ever since he had found out about the tumor he had been acting so strangely. "What's happened to you?"
Mark looked confused. "What are you talking about, Elizabeth?"
"You're so different. Sometimes you're distant, other times you're angry, then you can be so gentle yet concealed. This isn't like you."
"Yeah, well maybe people change when something life altering like this occurs."
Elizabeth shook her head. "No. No, you do not change. You're Mark Greene. You're a kind caring doctor who I'm in love with. But recently you haven't been that caring person." Elizabeth pulled herself up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and standing up, Mark helping to push her up.
"Elizabeth, I'm in love with you, you know that. And nothing has changed in our relationship." Mark called to her as she went in to the bathroom.
"Oh really?" Elizabeth called back, turning on the water so she could brush her teeth. Thank God the morning sickness was over. "I think everything has changed. I'm pregnant and you're sulking about because of a brain tumor, which they removed and will probably not come back." Elizabeth yelled through brushing her teeth.
Mark frowned. He was propped up in bed, watching the bathroom door adamantly. "You don't know that." He replied after a pause.
"Mark!" Elizabeth's form appeared in the doorway.
"Sorry." He lay back in the bed.
Elizabeth sighed and went back in to the bathroom to put her toothbrush away and rinse. Returning to the bedroom she sat on the bed and looked at Mark, who was staring out the window. She reached out and gently brushed her hand across his cheek and then leaned in, kissing him.
"I guess I'm just scared." Mark said without turning his face.
Elizabeth nodded her head yes. "It is scary. But I'm here, and we'll get through this. Okay?"
Mark turned to her and nodded. She leaned in, cupping his face with her hands, and kissed him. The kiss deepened and Mark wrapped his arms around Elizabeth, pulling her to him. She smiled as he rolled her around so that she was on the bottom. Careful not to apply to much pressure on to her stomach, he began pulling down her pajama bottoms while she messed with his, feeling his want against her thigh. "Mark." A sensual smile spread on her lips as he looked in to her eyes and began making love to her.