Motherland by Yofune-Nushi
Summary: Kanda knows the mother he was never raised by.// Takes place in the Edo Arc when Tiedoll, Marie, and Kanda first arrived to Japan.
Warnings: A slight spoiler for chapter 186.
When he steps onto the land of his heritage, he lingers behind as Tiedoll followed diligently by Marie move on ahead to scout the surroundings.
He smells the old essence of cooked rice and withering flowers and he looks at the women lying so delicately on the ground as she fingers one of his many lotuses' lingering upon the ground.
He's not offended. Even though he probably should be, but because it's her he thinks he can feel more at ease for she is suppose to be aware of nearly every pain he's experienced even though he will never choose to share the burden with her; for he was raised by someone who was not her to think that way.
She is defiled and sickly from being raped and savaged by the oppressive man now ruling over her and their many illegitimate children that she had no choice but to carry for him. Her feet are so broken and tiny that she can not stand up at all and it pains Kanda in an unknown nostalgic way that once she had stood with honor and pride for herself and her children before she was beaten and broken that even her still ever growing fewer existing children who are pure from before her fall and capture have begun to forget and forsake her to crumble without courage to hope as things continue to be stolen from her by the man and other mother's who shelter and raise the children for her.
She accepts though, the children who will never know her or the ones who even forsook her for their own sakes. And she welcomes with a distant acknowledgment despite the protocols and culture differences and will always know who her children are; even the ones who were not born or raised by her.
She looks directly at his face and he to her as well and both react almost by a divine natural pull of needing to reach out with open hands to connect.
It is when she speaks in a language he does not comprehend does he pull back and leave her hand to linger in knowing sadness for what she can never hold. For Kanda realizes he will never understand her as she can never own him the way Europe or even China can.
She will always be his mother, but he will never be her son.
For in the end, she was as good as an illusion to him.
Even so I will remember you.
She fades away from his sight and he knows her scent will linger on his blood even long after he leaves her for his other false mothers in the world.
Note*
This was inspired by the word "Motherland". Because it has such a warm note to it and yet it can be a sad thing as well for some. We all have motherlands we feel something for I think. I chose Kanda because I thought he would make the most interesting choice.