A/N: Wow. It's been awhile. X.x But I'm inspired again (at least .. for this genre. Can't speak on FFX or Inuyasha at the moment..)! My first slash and FFVIII story EVER. rejoice XDD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE leave me feedback of some kind, hm? I just want to know how bad/decent I am at this the first time around. Heh. Don't worry though, there's nothing outright slashy in this chapter. I'll make y'wait a lil' for that. ;D

For the wondering out there, a key:
".." -- Standard Dialogue
("..") -- Thoughts (just like in the game. XD)

Disclaimer: Nope. I own no one.

"Where I Belong" :: Chapter 01 :: A Quick Retreat

As he stood there on that balcony, contemplating the brightly winking lights in the heavens above, he seemed – for once – completely at peace. In the solitude of that slightly chilly night he found himself able to let his guard down, if only for an instant.

It was so unlike him that those he'd grown to call his "friends" for the past two years would certainly be stunned – if not worried – as the beginnings of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Eyes that could stare a room full of unruly cadets into shocked silence softened as they slid across the panorama before him. Gloved fingers reached up to deter a rebellious strand of chocolate from falling into his eyes, before he's again forced to lock himself inside the prison of an icy exterior.

"Rinoa.." he whispered, not bothering to turn his head to look.

The young woman smiled, a small hand rising to her lips as if to hold back her giggles. He always knew it was her -- there's just no sneaking up on the Commander of Balamb Garden. Her Commander.

"Mind if I join you..?" she asked, tone still teeming with her amusement. Personally, Squall saw nothing funny about anything. But he chalked it up to that just being .. Rinoa.
The girl didn't wait for a reply, simply inviting herself over – invading his sanctuary. As she slid up next to him he glanced down at her in that familiar ivory dress. The one that was so simple and yet managed to elaborately fit her so it clung in all the right places without being trashy. And it completely contrasted with his own attire – his usual arrangement of leather, belts, and his trademark wolf fur-trimmed jacket. He was comfortable, and saw no reason to alter his dress simply because of one anniversary party.
Big deal.

"Mm .. it's a beautiful night, isn't it?" she sighed, rocking against the railing. Bright eyes search her companion's countenance, as she hoped to evoke some response out of him.

"Whatever.."

His 'standard' answer. Definitely not what she was looking for in a response. She'd hoped for something .. romantic, perhaps? Rinoa's brows knit together rather quickly, and hands flew to her hips.

"Why does it always have to be like this? I thought you loved me! .. Why can't you ever open up for once? You were getting .. better. But now you're just the way you were!"

Giving his boot a kick to punctuate the end of her tirade – something that surely hurt her more than it could ever hurt him – she stormed back into the Quad, brisk strides taking her in the general direction of Quistis, who was calmly sipping champagne in the corner.

("Poor Quistis..")

"Heh. Problems with the missus..?" Came a jovial voice from behind him, one that caused Squall's heart to race for a brief second. The turn to face the figure in the doorway was a slow one, as if the extra time was required to steel him against something.

"Irvine," he stated matter-of-factly, leveling his usual calm, blank gaze on the cowboy. In truth, it was all just an elaborate front. Somehow, someway, he was hiding his intense emotional turmoil behind his sterling eyes. That's skills, that is..

"Jus' thought I'd join you. One can only entertain Selphie for so long before sufferin' the effects of motion sickness.." the Galbadian chuckled with a grin, propping himself up against the doorway. A few bars of a semi-familiar song managed to float lazily out into the chill air, as the party continued within -- all apparently oblivious to the pair on the terrace.

A look of surprise peeked through Squall's facade, but in an instant it flickered back to its previous state. "She's still after you?"

"Naah. She's all over Nida now .. or haven't you heard?"

A shake of his head his only reply, he watched Irvine sip the drink in his hand, noting carefully how the shade of the bubbly fluid complimented the golds of the Galbadian's skin in the glow emanating from the room beyond. And how his full lips curved delicately around the thin glass rim. Squall couldn't help but run his tongue over his lips at the sight, but was quickly wrenched from his fantasies as Irvine spoke again.

"Somethin' wrong..? You seem kind of out of it t'night.."

Nervously adjusting the way his jacket sat on his shoulders, Squall gave another shake of his head. Only this one was accompanied by words.

"..Social situations. Not my cup of tea." He grumbled, stating the obvious.

"Well, okay. I'm sure this is all Rin' and Selph's fault, isn't it?" And the look he was given confimed his suspicions. With a smirk and an amused rolling of his eyes, Irvine slid up to rest on the balcony beside Squall in one quick movement.

It took all his self-control not to stare. Not to run his gaze over every inch, every feature until it was all ingrained in his memory – stashed away for a rainy day or something. Instead Squall willed himself to look the other way, to watch some distant trees rock as wind's fingers toyed with their supple branches.

("Just .. don't think about Irvine. Don't think about what you'd like to be doing right now. Just .. STOP..")

"Stop what? I didn't do anything.." Came the same voice again, with an edge of annoyance. Squall's head snapped around, eyes wide.

"Wait.. I said that out loud?"

("Gods .. the whole thing..? I'm hopeless..")

The cowboy cocked an eyebrow and assumed a look that seemed to suggest he was questioning the sanity of his friend. "Of course you did. You were being all silent .. just being you I guess, and then you just told me to stop. Out of the blue.." He paused for another sip, the motion causing the brunette's head to swing downward rapidly and allowing his long bangs to fall forward and obscure his view.

"Dunno what your problem is, but I think you oughta head out for t'night, hm? I'll tell Rin' and Quisty where you're off too. Go t'bed or somethin'.."

Irvine's insistance elicited a nod, and then he turned and made a hasty exit. His head never rose from its dip, and his hair was not brushed aside from argent eyes rendered incapable of masking his feelings for once. He'd gotten flustered, embarrassed, and now was going to run again like a coward. This wasn't the first time it'd happened, either..

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The knowledge that Irvine was going to cover for him was reassuring, and he figured he had at least an hour or two of real, true solitude before Rinoa again came barging back into his world. Loudly, no doubt. A quick inspection of a bedside cabinet revealed a set of tumblers and a bottle of whiskey -- an ill-used "emergency" stash for headache-inducing situations such as tonight. He could use something to calm his nerves, which were completely frazzled.

The glass is filled and the bottle neatly returned to its hiding spot before a long sip of the liquor is taken. He can feel it burn on the way down, but it is not nearly as unpleasant as the first time. An "ill-used" stash indeed, but one that had crossed his mind too often in the last few days. And tonight that thought had an urgency that had broken him, and here he was – giving in to that.

He was never much of a drinker – nothing compared to Zell or Seifer. Or Irvine. But he could put a few away when he felt like it. Tonight seemed to be one of those nights, as the next thing he knew the glass was empty and he was again reaching into the cabinet. He'd have to watch it though, with work tomorrow and Rinoa due to be back soon. No sense getting plastered and then have to hear it from the woman later .. bad enough he'd have to take shit off of Selphie for ditching the party early.

Time flew by faster than he would have liked, and soon the second too had disappeared. He finally rose to change, having to fight some wooziness now as the full effects of the whiskey took hold of his mind. No longer did thoughts of the night fly through his head – now he was dealing with the occasional random thought process, and that was fine with him. His task complete, he managed to collapse back into bed just as Rinoa cracked open the door, calling a loud goodnight to whoever she'd walked back with. Noticing now that he was potentially trying to get some rest, she shut the door as quietly as possible before tip-toeing about the room as she too prepared for bed, sans the liquor consumption.

Squall turned over, to avoid coming face-to-face with her when she joined him. He could hear her humming a song quietly to herself and running a bit of water, along with the low rumblings of the sliding closet door as she put her dress away.

He could feel the mattress behind him sag as she slid into bed, and squeezing his eyes shut tried to visualize some ideal situation to make the one at hand seem bearable.

("..Do I really hate her this much? It sickens me to share a bed with her now..?")

Unfortunately, as she looped her arm under his and pulled herself close to him, the sensation of her touch contradicted the images in his mind. Where well-lotioned fingertips slid along his neck he had imagined rougher, calloused hands. The thin arms and porcelain skin were meant to be larger, and more muscular. The skin obviously sun-kissed. The hair that tickled his cheek meant to be auburn, not highlighted cocoa.

She even wrecked his fantasies..

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R&R PLEASE! XD

-- neurosis/rigel