((A Snape fic.I feel insane.I thought of Snape.Tada))
I cant deal.I cant deal.Oh god,Ive reverted back to a hormone filled boy,scared of his shadow,guilty,so guilty.He's dead.He's dead.His eyes dont twinkle.I wont hear his infernal voice anymore.His teasing,annoyingly childish for a man his age.He wont age anymore.I rock myself to sleep.Its not sleep,the nightmares come.I stay awake in this living nightmare.Theres no space in this room.More of a closet.It feels safe.Safe from them and my thoughts.But they keep coming.
Killer.Death Eater.Murderer.Killer.
I want to hear his voice.I want to hear it!I scream until my voice is raw.Its so painful to move.I want to hear him say its alright and call Poppy to fix me.Fix me please.Im broken beyond repair arent I?I cant be fixed anymore.Ive been taped and glued together so many times Im nothing.Im a mosaic of what I used to be.Without him I wont make sense.I cant hear.I must be deaf.I hear ringing.Is that good?Can I hear now?I spit out blood.I bit my lip too deep.I should get it fixed.Fixed..no more.I cry and cry.Salty tears run down my dirty face,I dont bother to bathe or clean anymore.The tears hit my cracked dried lips.It burns.Good I can still feel.I rock myself.I cry.I scream.I bleed.My skin is under my nails.My skin is still itching.Something is in my blood.
Death.Murder.Kill.Blood.
No no no.I dont want this.I dont want this!Take it back!I take it back.I mumble into my arms.My robe smells of dirt and dried blood.It should be burned,with me still wearing it.Albus,please,just let me die.
((Im not sure where that came from.Anyways..this is Snape going through a hard time with Dumbledores' death.))