Chapter One

Ryan clinked his fork against the glass a few times, leaving his chair to stand up at the head of the table. Other guests turned round in their seats, interested smiles playing on their faces as they watched the most enviable blonde in the restaurant start to make a toast.

"Ok, thanks you guys." Ryan let a nervous smile spread across his face and placed his glass back on the table, rubbing his hands together in front of him. Expectant faces lined the long oak table.

"So…this is something I've been meaning to do for a while. Recently, I've been happy. Really happy…and I have you all to thank for that. Most of all…her."

She smiled gracefully, raising her shoulders and wrinkling her petite nose as she always did. Ryan couldn't allow himself to look at her, not yet, even though everyone else was.

"She's been with me through tough times, through the good times…and I speak for her here, but times I think most of us would rather forget."

He smiled quickly as a laugh swept the table, and caught Seth nodding matter-of-factly at the other end. "Never get him drunk", he muttered loudly, causing more people to laugh, and Summer put a finger in the air. "I'll second that."

Ryan gave in to their little banter that looked likely to ruin his speech. "Thanks, Seth", he said a little too forcefully. "But put it this way, it wasn't always me causing a scene and…", he paused for effect, "getting arrested for bad behaviour." A few people chuckled.

"Anyway…I want to thank everyone here. Especially my beautiful girlfriend! I want to thank you for giving me the best life I could ever have hoped for." He focused on Kirsten and Sandy for a moment, and they smiled proudly. "For teaching me that dreams do make you smart. And they do come true."

"Enough already!", called Seth, raising his glass and encouraging others to do the same.

Ryan admitted defeat, his hands in the air. "Alright, alright." And he picked up the champagne glass. "To everyone!"

But he kept standing up after people had repeated the toast. "I have something else to say", he added sheepishly, reaching into his pocket.

Kirsten frowned slowly, turning to Summer sat opposite her. A shrug was all she received. Summer was as much unprepared for what was about to happen as she was.

"I love her now more than I ever felt it was possible to love someone. She's bright, smart, beautiful…amazing. I owe her everything."

And before he could stop himself for doing such an un-Atwood thing, Ryan bent down on to one knee and opened the red velvet box he was holding. A gasp went round the table.

"Will you marry me, Laura?"

Clapping filled the air outside the restaurant as Marissa tumbled out of her black sportscar. It was unusually warm for a November night, and clouds filled the sky to cover the stars. Even the sea breeze failed to raise a hair on her bare arm as Marissa wobbled on her heels and slammed the car door.

The part of her inside that told her she shouldn't be doing this had been growing bigger all night long. Glass after glass of vodka had done nothing to strengthen her courage; all that remained was a tiny, tiny shred of hope that things could possibly go back to the way they were.

Swaying, Marissa stopped to adjust her skirt and realised that if she had been anywhere else, in any other frame of mind, she would have laughed at herself right now. Her hair was matted, her mascara had run into her foundation and there was a ladder in her tights from her toe to her hip. If she wasn't so sad, she would have seemed ridiculous.

The past months hadn't been easy on her. Rejection after rejection after rejection, all stemming from that one, almighty rejection from Ryan. A girl ten times as strong as she would have gone off the rails.

And now she had to watch from her career-less, happiness-less bubble as those around her got all the luck. They'd all graduated from college, they'd all got their first jobs, their first apartments and their first attempts at real life. Only Marissa had screwed hers up worse than anybody else. She had money, of course – what other Newport girl doesn't? She had a car and a designer wardrobe and a country-club membership, and she was only 22. She had the foundations of any Newport-Queen's life.

Now tell her why she wasn't happy.

"Marissa!"

Summer clattered towards her on her too-high-for-words black peep toe stillettos and threw an arm around her friend. "Babe, are you alright? I didn't know you were coming! We could have given you a ride!" Placing her hands on Marissa's shoulders, Summer drew back for a moment to survey her. "Have you been drinking?"

Marissa tried to swat away Summer and her questions with one hand, but it didn't work. Her stomach heaved dangerously. "Look, I just have to go in there, alright?"

Summer threw a fleeting glance back at the restaurant amd shook her head adamantly, almost scared about what could happen. "No. I'm not letting you in there."

"Why? I'm not going to –"

Summer closed her eyes, half with pity, half with frustration. "Honey, I know what you're going to do. And…it's too late." She ducked slightly to look under Marissa's hair into her eyes. "You can't…" She trailed off, almost unable to look at the intense sadness etched onto her face.

"No" Marissa retorted firmly, trying to shrug off Summer's grip. "He has to know that I still love him, he –"

Summer shook her head. "He's moved on."

"How do you know that?"

"Oh god." Summer bowed her head and pulled her best-friend into a hug. "I'm so sorry. I really am. But he… Marissa, they're engaged."

"What!" Marissa snapped urgently, pushing Summer away from her. "No. He can't have…" She paused for a moment. "I still love him, Sum. ME."

Tears filled Summer's eyes as she saw Marissa's mounting desperation. "Trust me, babe. If I could let you go and say those things to him, I would. No-one wants things to go back to the way they were more than me, ok? Marissa…? Are you even listening to me?"

Marissa hit the floor with a thump, wrapping her shaking hands around her knees. Feeling Summer's comforting touch on her back, she buried her head in her hands and cried.

"Oh, Marissa." Summer sighed and hitched up her dress so she was sat on the paved path next to her. "I know things are hard. I do, but…they'll get better."

"How do you know that! He's in there with – with that…thing, and –"

"I know, sweetie, I know –"

"NO, you don't! He's not happy, I know it! How could he be, when she's cheating on him?"

Summer blinked. "What?"

Marissa turned her head to look into the restaurant. "I…I…" She sighed bitterly once again as she saw them, wrapped in each other's arms. Wrapped in each other.

Summer did her best to pull Marissa's face away. "What did you just say…? This is important, I need you to –"

Marissa stared blankly at her, lost in a memory.

Marissa giggled as Ryan spun her round and pulled her into a tight hug. "Babe, I'm brushing my teeth!"

He looked her up and down, sending shivers pelting through her like raindrops. "I know."

She giggled again, knowing what it was he wanted, and spat out her mouthful of mint into the nearest cup.

"Hey! That was my coffee!"

"Oop, sorry." She kissed him for a second, pulling the hem of his wife-beater up his back. "Guess we'll just have to find another way to wake you up."

He kissed her again and they fell back into the bed, still laughing. "I love you, you know that?", he asked her, his breath tickling her skin. Marissa nodded, glad she was lying down. She had to savour this moment, the feeling of flying, of summer days and the familiar swoop in her stomach. He didn't say these sentences to her often, but when he did…

Marissa brushed her hair out of her face and nodded. But she felt like teasing him, just this once, to see how he would react. There was no denying the strong Ryan Atwood tone she was almost certain to get, and she couldn't wait.

"You promise?"

He frowned for a split-second, not understanding her game, and then suddenly he got it. "Of course."

Marissa's heart fluttered at his pointed, firm remark. "You'll never leave me?"

Ryan looked at her before placing a deep kiss on her lips and into the sensitive place juct on top of her collarbone. "I'll never leave you" he said seriously, and all of a sudden, Marissa didn't care that it was 10 o'clock on a Wednesday morning and they both had classes to go to at university. She just had to have him.

"Marissa? Marissa? Did you just say…Laura's cheating on Ryan?"

She was brought to by Summer's urgency, taking in a deep breath. Closing her mouth before she could speak, Marissa gave herself a moment to realise that this, like so many other drunkenly thought up plans of hers, just wasn't going to work.

My first fanfic! Comments Love. Next chapter up sometime during the week. x