Two months into the school term and I was completely lost. Not physically of course, I'd lived inside the grounds of Hogwarts for so long now that it was like a second home to me, I was lost in love -Merlin did that make me sound pathetic. But there was no other way to describe it. And in love with fowl mouthed, arrogant, rude, obscene, bullying James Potter no less, I was sure I must have hit my head hard on something. I mean James Potter? Really?
It was the morning of the first Quidditch Game of the season and, although I'd never been much for sports I couldn't stop myself from joining in on the animated chatter. I sat at the Gryffindor table with Dorcas Meadowes and Marlene Mckinnon who were both talking excitedly, waving their hands about as if unable to contain their enthusiasm. The two, and Emmeline who had not yet come down to breakfst, were my best friends. Dorcas, I'd met in my third year when we were paired together in biology. She was an eccentric Half-Blood with frizzy blonde hair and an eternal smile on her face. She wasn't very pretty but she was small in stature and incredibly cute. She looked more 13 than 17. Marlene on the other hand was radiant, tall, pale with thick dark hair that fell past her waist she was the definition of beauty and I envied her to hell for it. Beside Severus, she was the first person I ever met coming to Hogwarts -she'd quite forcefully asked me to be her friend on the Hogwarts Express.
"So how do you think James will perform?" Dorcas asked through a mouthful of porridge.
It was James Potter's first game as Gryffindor Quidditch Captain and everyone was discussing whether or not he was fit for the position. I knew he would be amazing, After six years of watching him chasing after a quaffle, I knew it was just a given that James would be brilliant at anything Quidditch.
"Oh I bet he's-" Marlene started but her reply was interrupted by roar of several people cheering and booing at once.
One of Gryffindor's beaters had just walked through the doors to the Great Hall. On one side of the hall were the Slytherins booing aggressively, the Hufflepuffs were Gryffindor's new opponent but they weren't particularly mean, some of the Ravenclaws were taking sides; whilst some looked angry and unimpressed, some were clapping enthusiastically. I paid little attention to the whole transaction because it infuriated me. The animosity it created was exactly the reason, I'd always shown little interest in Quidditch.
"Hey!" A familiar voice said from behind me.
I turned to watch Emmeline Vance sit down next to Marlene. As one of the chasers on the Gryffindor team, she was already kitted out in the crimson uniform that all the players wore. I didn't hear her walk in and assumed she must have sneaked in behind the beater.
"So guess what, I just heard that Benjy Fenwick is in the hospital wing. Apparently he came down with a ve-e-ery suspicious illness and they're sending some fourth year in to replace him. How amazing is that!" Emmeline exclaimed animatedly.
I couldn't share her views, obviously he'd been hexed. I just hoped James or one of his stupid friends weren't behind his hospitalization. "Not amazing for Benjy." I told Emmeline sourly.
"Well no but without him Hufflepuff have no chance." See! Animosity. How was it okay for someone to be happy another human was in the hospital?
A roar erupted through the hall, this time it was so loud that I involuntarily cocked my head from the egg on toast I'd been munching on to look up at the doorway. Even at a distance I could make out the dark hair and be-specked face of Gryffindor's new captain. He wasn't phased by the booing, in fact when he walked through the hall, beside the Gryffindor table, he was bowing and there was a grin on his face. Just seeing him made butterflies erupt in my stomach, I was smiling and I couldn't tear my eyes from him, but I wasn't worried about being embarrassed because everyone else was staring at him too.
There was something different about him. He was happy, but it wasn't the usual I'm-better-than-you-and-you-should-know-it kind of happy. He looked…content? Was that the word? It was as if he'd been waiting for the acceptance of his fellow Gryffindors (who were all cheering loudly) I don't know! It was just a weird flash of something different in his eyes, something I liked.
Eventually James took a seat at the Gryffindor table and the cheers seized. He was sitting on the opposite site of the table from me, a few seats down -next to Peter Pettigrew. After he sat I was forced to drag my eyes from him and return to my breakfast. A few more roars introduced Hufflepuff and Gryffindor players and maybe four cheers in I noticed Sirius Black walking towards where James was sat. Marlene, who was sitting on my right, stiffened at the sight of him, she'd been besotted by Sirius for over a year and, even though I always got the impression that he liked her just as much as she liked him, they were playing some weird sort of love game. I had to restrain from laughing but, like her, my eyes were on the three boys. Sirius nudged Peter and James from behind and pointed directly at us. I knew exactly what would happen next so I quickly diverted my gaze, the last thing I needed was for James to catch me staring at him. They got up and started to walk towards us, I knew this not because I was looking at them but because Marlene was whispering it furiously in my ear.
"Ladies." Sirius greeted in an attempt to be suave and sophisticated.
I looked up at them. Peter, with his straw coloured hair, was grinning widely whilst James and Sirius (who really looked like they could be brothers) looked cool and collection, like always. The sat down on the other side of the table, completely uninvited as if they were the coolest people in the entire school, which no doubt they thought they were.
"Who said you could sit with us?" I asked, flashing daggers at Sirius.
He did reply to me, didn't even look at me in fact, he was staring at Marlene, who no doubt was burning crimson but I couldn't see because she was at my side, and smiling knowingly. His arrogance made me want to hex him.
"So Evans do you ever actually take that off?" Sirius asked, he indicated to the Head Girl badge on my chest. "You're worse than James, there was a full-blown argument this morning because he was determined he was putting it on his-"
"Shut up!" James hissed at him. He elbows Sirius in the side but Sirius seemed unaffected.
Despite myself a smile appeared on my face. It was nice to know that immature James Potter was at least taking his duties seriously.
"We should probably be getting down to the pitch, you know." Emmeline said, it was the first time she'd spoke in a while.
"Nahh we have plenty of time." James replied.
He plucked a sausage from a silver platter between me and him and bit off the end.
"James! As captain you should be setting a good example." Emmeline tried to defeat her proposal.
"Igothisem." he mumbled through a mouthful of meat.
I looked at him with a curled lip, disgusted. As if he were able to sense my eyes on him James turned to look at me. He swallowed hard and for a moment the two of us just stared at each other silently.
"Well I'm going down." Emmeline sounded angry but her voice broke the tension between James and me. I cleared my throat awkwardly and turned to face her.
"Okay Emmy, We'll be down there shortly." I told her with a smile. Emmeline waved goodbye and disappeared through the doorway.
My mind went back to the moment my eyes caught with James' and how he hadn't been annoying or arrogant or whipped out some stupid innuendo to make me suddenly hate him all over again. It actually made me want to talk to him. I opened my mouth but before any words came out Marlene was talking;
"So I heard Benjy's off sick." Marlene said in a voice that was trying to heard to be casual.
I rolled my eyes, were we really back on this? I chose not to take part in the conversation but instead quietly finished my breakfast. Dorcas joined in halfway through the conversation but that was really the only thing I noticed until James said;
"Well girls, we better go. I'm sure Emmy's climbing the changing room walls by now."
I watched them stand up and even flashed a smile. I wanted to say something, goodbye or good luck but I was lost for words so instead kept my lips pursed.
"Was he ignoring me? Lily, he seemed like he was ignoring me." Marlene gushed the second Sirius, James and Peter were out of earshot.
"What?" I asked, totally confused.
"Sirius! He completely blanked me.
"Oh no he didn't. You're being stupid."
"He hates me I know it."
"Marlene! Boys don't look at girls the way he looks at you if they hated them." I reassured her without a doubt in my mind.
"But…I heard from Mary Macdonald that she saw him snogging the face off Allison Merredew last week." Marlene replied hopelessly.
I couldn't deny that that wasn't something Sirius would do, Sirius was a manwhore. No one over the age of 16 was off limits to him. But I wasn't about to tell Marlene that.
"I'm sure it's idle gossip." Dorcas told her before I could.
"Exactly." I agreed, turning briefly to flash Dorcas a raised eyebrow.
Marlene didn't reply, she just nodded her head and I smiled at her. My attention didn't stay on her for long, my eyes moved to the door of the entrance hall where I could see James and his friends retreating to the grounds.
"I have to go. I'll meet you on the pitches." I told both Marlene and Dorcas quickly whilst pulling my legs from under the table. Suddenly I'd plucked up the courage to talk to James, and I intended to say something, anything to him before the match began.
"James!" I shouted out when I finally caught up with him in the entrance hall.
He was still walking with Peter and Sirius but when he saw me coming towards him he stopped dead, it took Peter a few seconds longer to realise they were no longer meant to be walking.
"Can we talk?" I asked sheepishly whilst sending Sirius a glance of evil -trying inexplicably to warn him to go away.
"Sure!" James replied eagerly. It was embarrassing to admit, but I knew how he'd agree with whatever I said, I certainly wasn't blind to his feelings.
I steered him away from Sirius and Peter and I'm pretty sure I heard him calling something that sounded like "Bye Padfoot Wormtail." But I didn't bother to question it.
We stopped in an empty space beside the doors that led to the grounds. "I just wanted to say…good luck.." I stuttered out. Not quite able to believe I was being so nice to James. This was the boy who frequently shot innuendos about wands and spells my way.
"Evans is being nice to me?" He exclaimed with a grin. "Do my ears deceive me?"
I narrowed my eyes, immediately regretting I'd said anything. "Shut up." I told him.
His hand went up and he began combing his fingers through his hair. I tried to ignore the action I'd so often associated with his arrogance but then thought maybe it was nothing more than a nervous habit.
"Sorry." he finally spat out.
Again I was smiling. Three smiles for James in one day? That had to be a record.
"Anyway!" I continued, I wanted to get my point across. "That's all I wanted to say."
And then, without thinking, without even realising what I was doing I got up on my tip toes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek, just below the rim of his glasses. A strange feeling consumed me at that moment, it was almost like a flutter but it travelled all the way through my body from the tips of my fingers to the balls of my feet.
When I pulled away and realised my actions all I could do was stand there in shock, silently asking myself over and over if that had really just happened. Had that really just happened?
Mind you, if I was shocked it was nothing compared to how James must have felt. His whole face burned crimson, it was a colour I'd never seen on him before but I quite liked it. His eyes were fixed on a point above my head. I started hoping that maybe I'd imagined it, surely I wouldn't have actually kissed James on the cheek. James Potter! The boy I'd hated for six years of my life. I had to have imagined it, I really had to stay away from those experimental potions (but even as the thought of potions crossed my mind I realised fumes couldn't affect me so) Unable to bare another moment in his awkward company I turned, left James still standing by the door and dived through the doorway to the grounds.