It has been two years since Ben last saw his father. For two years he waited patiently for his dad to return from saving people and assume the role of father, and do father/son activities with him that he missed out on growing up. His dad will come back and they'll be a family for real. His uncle (whose name he still doesn't remember) will come over every day, ruffle Ben's hair to annoy him, and him and his dad will leave for work only to return in the evening for supper to regale them with stories of their work.
They'll listen to Ben when he tells them what happened at school and offer advice on how to handle bullies and mean teachers. His mom will smile proudly at him while holding hands with his dad, wedding rings on their hands, and his uncle will catch his eye and roll them and nod towards his mom and dad. He will smile and nod back in amusement.
His mom will then tell them her stories of her work at the yoga studio, his dad and uncle listening with rapt attention that has his mom rolling her eyes at them, and call them pigs (that's what her and her friends usually call men who objectify women; Ben had to look up objectify in the dictionary).
That's what he's been (hoping) waiting for. What he got was a broken father and a dead uncle, but his uncle (Sam) died saving the world from the actual, real Devil. His Uncle Sam saved them all.
Now that is awesome. He only wished he didn't have to die to do it.
His dad came to them lost, broken, and grieving. Ben was honestly surprised his mom let him live with them, especially when they realized just how much Dean drank. His mom told him he's only drinking to forget the pain of losing his little brother. Ben thought that was stupid, but he wasn't the one who lost a brother he practically raised since he was a baby (Dean told him that story later on).
His mom told him Dean needs to know they're there for him. That, Ben could do.
For weeks Ben came home from school or camp and acted like everything was normal, dragging Dean along with him to little league and father/son events. It seemed to work. Dean quit drinking so much and his nightmares started to go away. His dad's nightmares gave him nightmares, hearing his dad crying out his uncles' name in fear and pain was horrible without the added touch of terrified screaming about Hell and Hellhounds.
Ben shuddered. He hated it when his dad had those particular nightmares.
Dean got better. He started smiling and even joking. He came to every single little league game Ben had and cheered for him. The other kids who were taken by the monsters (Changelings, his dad called them), flocked to Dean's side whenever they saw him. They always asked him if there were any monsters around they had to worry about, his dad would shake his head, and they'd slump in relief before returning to their parents.
It was like being in on a super secret club. The kids who were taken like he was, and their parents, all knew who is dad was, and came to him for comfort. His dad had been startled at how much the kids and their parents trusted him. Ben figured his dad wasn't used to being seen as a hero, despite being one.
That whole year, even the beginning, was the best year of his life. He had his dad back and living with him and his mom. His dad showed him how to check for oil and how to change it if needed, change a tire, and promised to show him how to drive when he was a little older. Ben literally bounced from how happy he was. This year was most definitely the best year of all, the only thing that would have made it better was Uncle Sam being with them.
Ben used to pray to God and his angels to keep his dad (and uncle) safe, but that was before his dad told them they're winged dicks who like to manipulate people to do their bidding, all but Cas. His dad told him Cas, or Castiel, rebelled Heaven to help Dean, and he helped them save the world. If Ben was going to pray, he shouldn't pray to God or the other angels, but to pray to Cas. At least he'll try to help.
And that's what Ben did. Not a night went by where he didn't pray to Cas to watch over his family, Sam and Cas included, and told Cas to keep an eye out on those angels and to be careful around them. His family is already small, it doesn't need it to get any smaller.
On his eleventh birthday, his dad woke him up early, and led him down the garage. He opened the trunk of the Impala and pulled out a notebook and an old leather worn book. Ben took it with no small amount of confusion that cleared up when he opened the book. It was a book of lore that had his dad's, Uncle Sam's, and his grandfather's name in it. His dad told him that was the book they learned about monsters and ghosts. It was Ben's now.
But before letting Ben read it, he made Ben promise to only read and not search them out. Ben nodded solemnly. He wasn't stupid, though a part of him is super excited learning about this hunting stuff, but he's not naive enough to think he can handle it on his own with just this small book of information.
One look at his dad told him any questions he might have will have to wait until Dean's feeling up for them. That's okay. Ben can be studious when he's motivated enough.
The notebook he got came in real handy, and he had a feeling his dad knew this.
His eleventh birthday flew by in a blur without Ben really caring he couldn't remember what exactly he did that day. His mind was on a certain book hiding in his room in his closet buried under clothes and other detris.
His dad gave him other books to read, an occasional file with various articles that were about mysterious deaths that he had to figure out which ones were monster related, and Dean enrolled him in a Latin language class. This was on top of going to school, extracurricular activities, chores, and the odd jobs his dad got him. That was usually mowing lawns, cleaning pools, walking dogs, and helping out the elderly on their block. He liked helping the grandpas and grandmas. They gave him candy for payment, and told old timey stories that fascinated him to no end and had him in stitches from the naughty ones.
He had a routine.
8:00 A.M. to 3:00 P.M. - School
3 P.M. to 5:30 P.M. - Baseball Practice
5:30 P.M. to 6:30 P.M. - Supper and family sharing
6:30 P.M. to 8:00 P.M. - Chores and his job of the week
8:00 P.M. to 10:00 P.M. - Homework, showering, and TV
Sometimes it's different, changing up with the season and sports, and the odd family vacation, which was usually a waterpark or themepark. Ben loved those! His dad kept a close eye on him when they went on vacation.
He knew other kids would complain at their parents' overprotectiveness but Ben wasn't like them. He knew of the dangers out there and he loved that his dad was so protective over him. He'd dare anybody to go against his dad, they'd lose...big time. Besides, Ben is more than willing to put up with it, and he actually likes it.
Dean also made the best breakfast. Something hearty for him and something light for his mom. He found, to his utter delight, he shares the same fondness of greasy foods as his dad. His mom usually made them go for a run if Dean made a particularly greasy and heart attack inducing meal.
He and his dad didn't so much as run as waddle fast.
"Hey, Ben, whatcha doing?" his dad drawled from his doorway. Ben looked up to see his dad leaning against the doorframe, ankles crossed, and arms folded. Uh-oh. That's his dad's 'I'm disappointed in you about something and you're in big trouble mister' stance.
"Reading," he answered innocently, holding up his book on vampires. Not that Twilight crap either, it's vampire lore.
"Uh-huh," said Dean unconvinced. "Let me rephrase, what didn't you do today?"
Ben frowned and flicked through his memories before widening his eyes in guilt and shock. "Oh, god, Mrs. Capra! I was supposed to help her clean her garage."
"Ding, ding, ding!" His dad mocked then turned serious. "Go. Now."
Ben nodded and ran downstairs and outside. Mrs. Capra lived all alone at the end of the block. She's really nice and let Ben use her pool whenever he wanted, as long as he maintained it. Ben ran as fast as he could, skidding to a stop in front of the garage, feeling guilt well up in him as he watched Mrs. Capra tried to pick up a heavy box and move it to the storage shelves he and his dad built for her.
"Let me," Ben offered, and picked up the box, staggering a little under the weight, and shoved it onto the shelf. "I am so sorry, Mrs. Capra. I was reading and I forgot the time. It won't happen again," he promised, face earnest.
The old woman sighed explosively, shooting him a smile when it looked like he was going to shrivel up from guilt, and said, "I understand, Ben. Putting down a good book is hard. Next time call me please."
Ben bobbed his head, promising to do so in the future. They got the job done in two hours, both of them covered in dust and sweat. Ben couldn't help but admire the old woman's stamina. She's a strong old bird that's for sure.
Waving goodbye and promising to be on time next time, Ben jogged back home where hopefully dinner is waiting for him. He's starving.
Life was good in the Winchester/Braeden house hold. Or at least it was until his Uncle Sam returned from the dead. He saved his dad from a Djinn, it sounded different than how he imagined it, he's been pronouncing it 'da-shin' in his head. Close enough. His uncle took his head to other hunters who, it turned out, was their family on his grandmother's side. His dead great-grandfather was brought back the same time his uncle was.
Another little tidbit was that Uncle Sam has been alive for over a year. That, that pissed Ben off to no end. His uncle let his dad grieve for him for a whole freaking year while he hunted with long lost relatives, and to top it off, that Bobby guy knew as well.
Ben felt bad for his dad. Everyone lied to him. Cas didn't even come tell him Sam was alive.
Dean was quiet that night. Real quiet. Every now and then they'd see a flash of anger flicker across his face but other than that he pretended nothing changed. Just before Ben went to bed, Dean told them there is a group of Djinn looking for some payback, and that he and his relatives were going to set a trap for it... here. Ben and his mom will be staying at a friend's house while they dealt with these monsters.
His mom didn't like it but she did as told. Ben waited until she was in her room packing before giving his dad the biggest hug he could muster. He felt his dad start to shake and hold Ben closer. He knew his dad needed this. Ben wished he was smaller so his dad could pick him up, like he did when he was eight, that way he could give a better hug than him just hugging his dad's midriff.
His dad eventually released Ben and gently shoved him up the stairs to start packing.
He really hoped his dad would be okay. He hasn't hunted in a year, what if it made him rusty, and the Djinn got the jump on him? He sent a quick prayer to Cas to watch over his dad, spitefully forgetting to add his Uncle Sam and their new relatives.
Dean handled the monsters despite the Campbells (like the soup apparently) taking shots at his dad's domestic life. Even Sam took a shot. Ben liked them a lot less. Sam even more so.
Another horrifying thought came to him, what if they guilt his dad into hunting again? Ben will never see him again because his dad will stay away to keep them safe. His dad will be hunting with people who look down on him for leaving the hunting life and being with his family instead of taking them with him to kill monsters, and for not teaching Ben his "heritage".
Ha! What did they know? His dad is making sure Ben has all the necessary information before he, if ever, took Ben on a hunt. He doesn't think his dad will take him on a hunt, a part of him is disappointed, but another is actually kind of relieved.
Hunting monsters, ghosts, and demons sounds fun, like a real life action/horror movie but he's experience the aftermath of hunting first hand in the form of his dad's nightmares. He thinks learning the theoretical (yes, he looked it up in the dictionary) is good enough for him. There is nothing wrong with book learning.
Ben was proven right a week later, his dad is returning to hunting...because of Sam. He's really starting to dislike his uncle.
To his dad's credit, he looked reluctant to leave him and his mom, but Ben was too hurt to care.
His dad tried to say goodbye and promise to call every day, something Ben appreciated in the back of his mind, but he was so mad that his dad was leaving him...again! His uncle, the man Ben mourned for, is taking his father away and back into a life of danger. Ben shoved his dad away when he tried to give him a hug, and ran up to his room, slamming the door with as much strength he can muster. He wanted his dad to know he wasn't happy, and a small part of him hoped his dad will change his mind and stay with him instead of going with Sam.
Dean opened the door and sat on his bed, patiently waiting for Ben to acknowledge him, too bad for him, Ben's too hurt and angry to give his dad an inch. Then his dad did something surprising, he pulled Ben up into his lap so he sat across his legs and held him like he was a little kid again.
Ben snuggled into his dad, tightening his grip on his dad's flannel, and bit his lip to keep from crying.
"I'll be back," his dad whispered as he stroked Ben's hair. "It won't be forever, Ben."
"Don't go," he begged. "Stay with me and mom. Sam can take care of himself. He's been doing so for over a year. It's my turn to spend time with you. Sam got you all to himself for thirty years, all I got was one year, and you were sad most of the time. It's my turn," he repeated thickly.
He felt and heard Dean sigh sadly. He hugged Ben tighter. "Oh, Ben. Something's off with Sam, I don't know what it is, but I know something's wrong. My little brother needs me, Ben. Do you get that?"
"Do you get I need you more?" Ben shot back, anger making his voice go deeper. "You're my dad. You're supposed to keep me safe and teach me how to be a man. How are you supposed to do that if you're away with Sam?" he spat his uncle's name like a curse. "I waited and waited for you, dad. Why are you making me wait some more? Don't you want to be my dad?"
Ben lost his battle to keep his sobs at bay and cried into his dad's shoulder. Dean rubbed soothing hands up and down his back and pressed kisses into his hair.
"Of course I do, Ben. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I woudn't have made it through this past year without you. I will only be gone long enough to see what's wrong with Sam then I'll be back. I promise." Dean pressed their foreheads together. "I'm coming back," he vowed again, keeping eye contact with Ben to show he's serious. "You just have to wait a little bit longer, okay?"
Ben hiccupped and nodded. "Once you fix Sam, you're coming back?" he asked to clarify.
Dean nodded. "I will come back."
"Okay," Ben whispered sadly.
Dean gave him one last hug goodbye before letting go and getting up from his bed. "I'll call tomorrow before you go to school, okay?" Ben nodded. "And you can call me anytime, Ben. I mean it. If you just want to talk, call, and I'll always answer. Keep your mom safe, and I expect you to have those books read and memorized when I get back."
Ben summoned up a watery smile at that. "I will," he promised. "You'll be back before Christmas, right?"
"I don't know, but I'll try. That good enough?" Dean asked him.
He gave a curt nod. "Stay safe, dad."
"I will, son."
His dad left him with a new notebook and three new books to read and memorize before his dad's return. He can do this. Eleven years, he reminded himself. He waited eleven years, a few months should be easy compared to that.
A year later...
Ben ran into his house and up to his room in excitement. He just asked Maggie Bright out and she said yes! They're going to the movie this Saturday as a date, and he couldn't wait. He dug through his closet to find something suitable to wear for his first ever date. He tossed various outfits over his shoulder as he discarded them as too dorky or childish, digging deeper into his closet for that one perfect outfit he knew he had.
He came across a box that he didn't even know was in there in the first place. Curious, Ben dragged the box out into the middle of his room. He carefully cut the tape with his pocket knife, a gift he didn't know who got him, and opened it to reveal notebooks and really old looking books. He pulled one book out and it was about demons.
Frowning, Ben grabbed one of the notebooks to find his own handwriting in them. They held notes about all sorts of make believe monsters, ghost, and demons. What had he been into when he was younger?
Ben shrugged it off and pulled out all the books and notebooks out of the box to find a handful of pictures on the bottom. He picked up one to see a picture of him and his mom with a guy who looked familiar. It was his eleventh birthday party. He remembered that day vividly but he couldn't place the guy in the picture. He was smiling at Ben like Billy Roland's dad looks at when he's proud and happy. It made his heart clench painfully and a tear leaks out.
A sudden rush of loss overwhelms him and he starts crying without knowing why. It's like when he found the pocket knife with his name engraved on it, he refused to give it up, and fought his mom over it. All he knew it was important and he knew someone important gave it to him for protection.
He wiped the tears away so he could look at the other pictures. They all contained pictures of him and this man who looked at Ben like a loving father would. They were at a baseball game, wearing matching hats with matching smiles, and holding nachos. Another was of them cheesing at the camera while fixing an old black but beautiful car. He traced his finger over the car. That seemed familiar too. There's a picture of all three of them again, they're at a waterpark, and his mom has her arms wrapped tight around the man, Ben squished between them. They're laughing. They're happy.
Who is he?
The final picture is of Ben and this man. They're at a father/son event that was held in Hyland Park. The man has his arm wrapped around Ben's shoulders, holding him close, and they're covered in mud but they're smiling real big like they're having the time of their lives.
A father/son event. The ball starts to fall, pinging against the wall every now and then, sparking fuzzy memories in its wake, and when it slid home, Ben got slammed with a memory of this man, his dad, cheering loudly for him, bragging about him being his son, and that he was the reason they made it to the semi-finals for little league. He hugged Ben tight and told him how proud he was of him. Ben remembered feeling so ridiculously happy at that.
Dean.
My dad's name is Dean Winchester and he's a hero. He hunts monsters and other creatures of nightmares.
He promised Ben he'd come back but a demon kidnapped him and his mom, possessing his mom, and his dad found them and saved them. He showed Ben how to shoot a shotgun. He counted on Ben to keep him and his mom safe while he carried her out. The demon possessing his mom stabbed herself in an effort to hurt his dad. His dad exorcised the demon so he could try and save his mom. He didn't remember what happened afterwards in the hospital, but before then, he remembered Cas touching his mom's head then his, but then it's a big blank.
Once his mom got out of the hospital, she had this idea to move to the country, where its supposedly safer. They found and bought a ranch-style house with four-acres of land with the forest serving as a backdrop. Ben loved it, but he felt like he was missing something. Sometimes he'd see his mom feel the same. She'd look at the door as if expecting someone to walk through it.
A blinding pain spiked in his head, white-hot, and overwhelming. When it dissipated, Ben was confused as to why he was on the floor, and why he had drying tears on his face. He saw notebooks, old looking books, and pictures laying next to him. He reached for the pictures but a spike of pain made him re-think touching them. He carefully picked them up without looking at them and placed them back into the box with the books piled on top of it.
He kept one picture out. He couldn't put it back in the box. He couldn't. Instead, he put it in his pocket, next to his wallet. Ben saw a brief glimpse of him and some man covered in mud but smiling happily at the camera.
Whoever that man is, he's important to him and to his mom.
He shoved it to the back of his mind and turned his attention back to finding something to wear on his date. Maybe his mom will help him pick something out. Something in flannel though. Layers. A shirt, a flannel, and a devil-may-care attitude. The girls will like that.
I'll come back.
You'll just have to wait a little bit longer, okay?
I'm sorry.
I need to keep you safe, Ben. You and your mom.
Forgive me.
I love you, son.
Ben frowned at the voice in his head. Familiar, achingly so. He sounded so sad. Ben blinked back tears.
"I love you too," he whispered back to the man. He's confused but the words felt right, his next words felt even more so. "I can wait a little longer."